Transcript Translation(3) lecture (6)

Translation(3)
lecture (6)
Passive vs. active style
Style of repetition and variation
Eman Baghlaf
Passive vs active style
O Passive and active are two contrastive forms
and styles. They have different functions.
Therefore, they should not be confused or
ignored in the Arabic translation.
O It is a common mistake of changing the passive
into active.
O Both styles have to be reflected in Arabic
translation for their important functions to the
message.
O Examples:
The Zionist soldiers killed five Palestinian
children yesterday.
B. Five Palestinians were killed yesterday.
O At first sight, the two sentences have the same
meaning. Yet, careful consideration shows that
they are different.
A.
O The first one is active which states the doer of
the action, and the second one is passive which
hides the killers.
O Thus, the active style aims at focusing on the
murderers for human and political reasons. The
passive, on the other hand, aims at
concentrating on the result of the action and the
action itself.
O The significant functions for each style require to
be retained in Arabic, as in the following
versions:
.‫ قتل الجنود الصهاينة خمسة أطفال فلسطينيين أمس‬.A
.‫ قُتل خمسة أطفال فلسطينيين أمس‬.B
O The passive can be changed into active in one
form which keeps the doer of the action hidden;
that’s, the use of the verb of completion
)‫(تم‬,followed by the noun of the main verbs of the
sentence, as follows:
.‫ تم قتل خمسة أطفال فلسطينيين أمس‬O
Style of repetition and
variation
O Many would think that repetition is a bad style
and, therefore, has to be avoided in translation.
This is greatly imprecise, for this style is part of
rhetoric, and can be used on purpose to have
important functions that affect the message
considerably.
O The best examples are available in abundance
in the Holy Quran, the best language and style of
any book on earth.
O Examples:
 Football is the game my friend loves. Football is
the sport he watches on the television. Football
is his favorite hobby. As a child, his dream was to
play football as a professional player. Here he is
a great football player.
O The Arabic version has to produce the same
repetition, as follows:
‫‪ ‬كرة القدم هي العبة التي يحبها صديقي‪ .‬كرة القدم هي الرياضة‬
‫التي يشاهدها على التلفاز‪ .‬كرة القدم هي هوايته المفضلة وكطفل‪،‬‬
‫كان أمله أن يلعب كرة القدم كالعب محترف‪ .‬ها هو ذا اآلن‬
‫العب كرة قدم كبير‪.‬‬
‫‪,‬كرة القدم ‪O It is not advisable to use variations on‬‬
‫‪because the text will lose its natural, easy-going,‬‬
‫‪fluent flow, and the important functions of‬‬
‫‪football will disappear.‬‬
‫‪O A poor translation will be like this:‬‬
‫‪ ‬كرة القدم هي اللعبة التي يحبها صديقي‪ .‬إنها الرياضة التي‬
‫يشاهدها على التلفاز‪ .‬اللعبة األولى في العالم هي هوايته‬
‫المفضلة وكطفل‪ ،‬كان أمله أن يلعب اللعبة الشعبية‪ .‬ها هو ذا‬
‫اآلن العب محبوبة الجماهير الكبير‪.‬‬
 Yes, yes of course, I agree with you that we must
cooperate, but on one condition, on one
condition; you work hard on the project.
Otherwise, I I I work on my own, yes, on my own,
do you understand? On my own.
O Here we have unnecessary repetitions, and such
repetitions are used to achieve certain functions
like:
1. Laying more emphasis on a word or a phrase.
2. Continuation of speech without stopping.
‫‪O Here is the Arabic translation:‬‬
‫‪ ‬نعم‪،‬نعم‪ ،‬طبعا أوافقك أنا يجب أن نتعاون‪ ،‬ولكن على شرط واحد‪،‬‬
‫على شرط واحد‪ ،‬على شرط واحد‪ :‬أن تعمل بجد في المشروع‪.‬‬
‫واال فأنا أنا أنا سوف أعمل بمفردي‪ ،‬نعم‪ ،‬بمفردي‪ ،‬هل تفهم ؟‬
‫بمفردي‪.‬‬
‫‪O In fact, it is possible to dispose of all of these‬‬
‫‪repetitions with no great loss of meaning, as‬‬
‫‪follows:‬‬
‫‪ ‬نعم طبعا أوافقك أننا يجب أن نتعاون‪ ،‬ولكن على شرط واحد ‪ :‬أن‬
‫تعمل بجد في المشروع‪ .‬وإال سوف أعمل بمفردي‪ .‬هل تفهم؟‬
O Yet, it is not a good suggestion to substitute
repetitions for variations here, because they
make the text unnatural and unflunet, as the
following version shows:
‫ ولكن على شرط‬،‫ طبعا أوافقك أننا يجب أن نتعاون‬،‫ أجل‬،‫ نعم‬
‫ وإال فأنا إنني‬.‫ أن تعمل بجد في المشروع‬.‫ على أساس واحد‬،‫واحد‬
.‫ هل تفهم ؟ لحالي‬،‫ لوحدي‬،‫ بلى‬،‫أني سوف أعمل بمفردي‬
O This translation seems quite artificial,
unconvincing and poor Arabic, in comparison to
the first version in particular.