Transcript Slide 1

San Francisco CAMFT
May 4, 2014
San Francisco, CA.
Linda Graham, MFT
www.lindagraham-mft.net
[email protected]
Bouncing Back: Rewiring Your Brain
For Maximum Resilience and Well-Being
All the world is full of suffering.
It is also full of overcoming.
- Helen Keller
Resilience
 Deal with challenges and crises
 Bounce back from adversity
 Recover balance and equilibrium
 Find refuges and maximize resources
 Cope skillfully, flexibly, adaptively
 Shift perspectives, open to possibilities, create
options, find meaning and purpose
Premise of Workshop
 Different neural activities underlie
 Different levels of client functioning, thus
 Different mechanisms of therapeutic change
 Harness neuroplasticity of brain
 Teach self-directed neuroplasticity to clients
 Increase effectiveness of any modality
The field of neuroscience is so new,
we must be comfortable not only
venturing into the unknown
but into error.
- Richard Mendius, M.D.
Neuroscience of Resilience
 Neuroscience technology is 20 years old
 Meditation shifts mood and perspective;
impacts immune system and gene expression
 Oxytocin can calm a panic attack in less than a
minute
 Kindness and comfort, early on, protects
against later stress, trauma, psychopathology
Neuroplasticity
 Growing new neurons
 Strengthening synaptic connections
 Myelinating pathways – faster processing
 Creating and altering brain structure and
circuitry
 Organizing and re-organizing functions of brain
structures
The brain is shaped by experience. And because
we have a choice about what experiences we
want to use to shape our brain, we have a
responsibility to choose the experiences that
will shape the brain toward the wise and the
wholesome.
- Richard J. Davidson, PhD
Evolutionary legacy
Genetic templates
Family of origin conditioning
Norms-expectations of culture-society
Who we are and how we cope….
…is not our fault.
- Paul Gilbert, The Compassionate Mind
 Given neuroplasticity
 And choices of self-directed neuroplasticity
 Who we are and how we cope…
 …is our responsibility
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- Paul Gilbert, The Compassionate Mind
Mindfulness and Empathy
Awareness of what’s happening
(and our reactions to what’s happening)
“What are you noticing now?”
Acceptance of what’s happening
(and our reactions to what’s happening)
“Oh, sweetheart! This is painful; this is hard. And it makes
complete sense that you would feel the way you do.
Two most powerful agents of brain change known to science
Effective Agents of Brain Change
Consciousness
Self-Awareness
Mindfulness
Self-Reflection
Compassion
Empathy
Attention Circuit
Resonance Circuit
Self-Directed Neuroplasticity
Practices to Accelerate Brain Change
 Presence – primes receptivity of brain
 Intention/choice – activates plasticity
 Perseverance – creates and installs change
Conditioning – Skills and Patterns
 The brain learns from experience
 Encodes learning, behaviors, skills in neural circuitry
 Patterns of response become automatic habits
 Develops or de-rails pre-frontal cortex
 CEO of resilience
 Inner secure base, personal sense of self
 Therapeutic relationship = re-parenting
New Conditioning – New Resources
 New skills, behaviors, capacities
 Develop resilient coping
 Antidote negativity bias of brain
 Strengthen resources; take in the good
Re-conditioning – Rewiring Patterns
 Stabilize functioning
 Reduce stress, defensiveness
 Heal trauma
 Window of tolerance – equilibrium
 Memory deconsolidation –
reconsolidation
De-conditioning – Quantum Learning
 Default network
 Mental play space
 Open spacious awareness
 Insights, aha!s, breakthroughs
6 C’s of Coping
 Calm
 Compassion
 Clarity
 Connections to Resources
 Competence
 Courage
Conditioning:
How the Brain Learns in the First Place
 Experience causes neurons to fire
 Repeated experiences, repeated neural firings
 Neurons that fire together wire together
 Strengthen synaptic connections
 Connections stabilize into neural pathways
 Conditioning is neutral, wires positive and
negative
Attachment Styles - Secure
 Parenting is attuned, empathic, responsive,
comforting, soothing, helpful
 Attachment develops safety and trust, and
inner secure base
 Stable and flexible focus and functioning
 Open to learning
 inner secure base provides buffer against
stress, trauma, and psychopathology
Insecure-Avoidant
 Parenting is indifferent, neglectful, or critical,
rejecting
 Attachment is compulsively self-reliant
 Stable, but not flexible
 Focus on self or world, not others or emotions
 Rigid, defensive, not open to learning
 Neural cement
Insecure-Anxious
 Parenting is inconsistent, unpredictable
 Attachment is compulsive caregiving
 Flexible, but not stable
 Focus on other, not on self-world,
 Less able to retain learning
 Neural swamp
Disorganized
 Parenting is frightening or abusive, or parent is
“checked out,” not “there”
 Attachment is fright without solution
 Lack of focus
 Moments of dissociation
 Compartmentalization of trauma
Pre-Frontal Cortex - Functions
 Regulate body and nervous system
 Quell fear response of amygdala
 Manage emotions
 Attunement – felt sense of feelings
 Empathy – making sense of experience
 Insight and self-knowing
 Response flexibility
Mindfulness Comes to West
Mindfulness:
Focused attention on
present moment experience
without judgment or resistance.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn
Attention and allowing
Awareness and acceptance
Mindfulness
 Pause, become present
 Notice and name
 See patterns as patterns
 Step back, dis-entangle, reflect
 Catch the moment; make a choice
 Shift perspectives; shift states
 Discern options
 Choose wisely – let go of unwholesome, cultivate
wholesome
Between a stimulus and a response there is a
space. In that space is our power to choose
our response. In our response lies our growth
and our freedom. The last of human freedoms
is to choose one’s attitude in any given set of
circumstances.
- Viktor Frankl, Austrian psychiatrist, survivor
of Auschwitz
Autobiography in Five Short
Chapters – Portia Nelson
I
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost…I am helpless
It isn’t my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.
II
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I’m in the same place
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
III
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in…it’s a habit
My eyes are open,
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
IV
I walk down the same street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
V
I walk down another street.
-Portia Nelson
Clarity
It is not the strongest of the species that
survives, nor the most intelligent. It is the one
that is the most adaptive to change.
- Charles Darwin
Every moment brings a choice, and every choice
has an impact.
Julia Butterfly Hill
New Conditioning
 Experience creates brain change
 New experiences: new learning, new
skills, new behaviors
 New memory, new circuitry
Negativity Bias – Positive Emotions
 Brain is hard-wired to notice and remember
negative and intense more than positive and
subtle; how we survive as individuals and as a
species
 Leads to tendency to avoid experience
 Positive emotions activate “left shift,” brain is
more open to approaching experience,
learning, and action
Positive Emotions-Behaviors
Gratitude
Awe
Generosity
Compassion
Delight
Serenity
Love
Curiosity
Kindness
Joy
Trust
Positive Emotions
 Less stress, anxiety, depression, loneliness
 More friendships, social support, collaboration
 Shift in perspectives, more optimism
 More creativity, productivity
 Better health, better sleep
 Live on average 7-9 years longer
Gratitude
 2-minute free-write
 Gratitude journal
 Gratitude buddy
 Gratitude in the middle of the night
Take in the Good
 Notice: in the moment or in memory
 Enrich: the intensity, duration, novelty,
personal relevance, multi-modality
 Absorb: savor 10-20-30 seconds, felt sense in
body
Circle of Support
 Call to mind people who have been supportive
of you; who have “had your back”
 Currently, in the past, in imagination
 Imagine them gathered around you, or behind
you, lending you their faith in you, and their
strengths in coping
 Imagine your circle of support present with
you as you face difficult people or situations
Positivity Portfolio
 Ask 10 friends to send cards or e-mails
expressing appreciation of you
 Assemble phrases on piece of paper
 Tape to bathroom mirror or computer monitor,
carry in wallet or purse
 Read phrases 3 times a day for 30 days
 Savor and appreciate
Re-conditioning
 Managing survival responses
 Rewiring shame
 Rewiring trauma
Window of Tolerance
 SNS – explore, play, create, produce….OR
fight-flight-freeze
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Baseline physiological equilibrium
Calm and relaxed, engaged and alert
WINDOW OF TOLERANCE
Relational and resilient
Equanimity
 PNS – inner peace, serenity…OR
Numb out, collapse
Keep Calm and Carry On
Serenity is not freedom from the storm
but peace amidst the storm.
- author unknown
Hand on the Heart
 Touch
 Deep breathing
 Positive Emotions
 Brakes on survival responses
 Oxytocin – safety and trust
 Relationships as resources
Oxytocin
 Hormone of safety and trust, bonding and
belonging, calm and connect
 Brain’s direct and immediate antidote to stress
hormone cortisol
 Can pre-empt stress response altogether
Calm through the Body
 Hand on the Heart
 Body Scan
 Progressive Muscle Relaxation
 Movement Opposite
Calm – Friendly Body Scan
 Awareness
 Breathing gently into tension
 Hello! and gratitude
 Release tension, reduce trauma
Progressive Muscle Relaxation
 Body cannot be tense and relaxed at the
same time
 Tense for 7 seconds, relax for 15
 Focused attention calms the mind
Calm and Strength through Movement
 Power posing
 Body posture of difficult emotion
 Body moves into opposite posture
 Return to first posture
 Return to second posture
 Find a position in the middle
The roots of resilience are to be found in the felt
sense of being held in the mind and heart of an
empathic, attuned, and self-possessed other.
- Diana Fosha, PhD
To see and be seen: that is the questions, and
that is the answer.
- Ken Benau, PhD
Neuroscience of Empathy
 Emotional communication is 93% non-verbal
 Social engagement system
 Dyadic regulation
 Fusiform gyrus regulates amygdala
 Vagal brake
 Restores equilibrium
Ah, the comfort,
The inexpressible comfort
Of feeling safe with a person.
Having neither to weigh out thoughts
Nor words,
But pouring them all right out, just as they are,
Chaff and grain together;
Certain that a faithful hand
Will take them and sift them;
Keeping what is worth keeping and,
With the breath of kindness,
Blow the rest away.
- Dinah Craik
Wiser Self
 Imagine yourself five years from now: wise,
compassionate, good, strong, alive and vibrant
 Ask this Wiser Self: how did you become like
this? What did you have to overcome or let go
of to become like this? What one word of
advice do you have for me?
 Inhabit this Wiser Self briefly; what does it feel
like to become your Wiser Self?
The curious paradox is that when I accept
myself just as I am, then I can change.
- Carl Rogers
Compassion
 Sensitivity
 Attention to feelings and suffering, self and others
 Sympathy
 Tuning in, feeling with, being moved
 Distress tolerance
 Being with pain without denial or overwhelm
 Empathy
 Understanding without judgment, resistance, submission
 Caring
 Warmth, kindness, gentleness in any response
Self-Compassion Break
 Notice-recognize: this is a moment of suffering
 Ouch! This hurts! This is hard!
 Pause, breathe, hand on heart or cheek
 Oh sweetheart!
 Self-empathy
 I care about my own suffering, me as experiencer
 Drop into calm; hold moment with awareness; breathe
in compassion and care
 May I meet this moment fully; may I meet it as a friend
 Share experience with resonant other
The Guest House - Rumi
This being human is a guest-house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
Some momentary awareness come
As an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you
out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
- Rumi
Compassion for Others - Self
 Remember moment of compassion and care
for another
 Evoke felt sense of compassion in your body
 When flow of compassion is steady…
 Place yourself in flow of compassion, care,
concern
Find the Gift in the Mistake
 Regrettable Moment – Teachable Moment
 What’s Right with this Wrong?
 What’s the Lesson?
 What’s the Cue to Act Differently?
 Find the Gift in the Mistake
Coherent Narrative
 This is what happened.
 This is what I did.
 This has been the cost.
 This is what I learned.
 This is what I would do differently going
forward.
Courage
It’s as wrong to deny the possible
As it is to deny the problem.
- Dennis Seleeby
Do One Scary Thing a Day
 Venture into New or Unknown
 Somatic marker of “Uh, oh”
 Dopamine disrupted
 Cross threshold into new
 Satisfaction, mastery
 Dopamine restored
People as Resources
At times our own light goes out and is rekindled
by the spark from another person.
Each of us has cause to think with deep
gratitude of those who have lighted the flame
within us.
- Albert Schweitzer
See Yourself as Others See You
 Imagine sitting across from someone who
loves you unconditionally
 Imagine switching places with them; see
yourself as they see you; feel why they love
you and delight in you; take in the good
 Imagine being yourself again; taking in the love
and affection coming to you; savor and absorb.
Welcome Them All
 Wiser Self welcomes to the “party”
 characters that embody positive and negative
parts of the self
 with curiosity and acceptance of the message
or gift of each part and
 honors each part of the “inner committee”
Shame is De-Railer of Resilience
Shame is the intensely painful feeling or
experience of believing we are flawed and
therefore unworthy of acceptance and
belonging.
Shame erodes the part of ourselves that
believes we are capable of change. We cannot
change and grow when we are in shame, and
we can’t use shame to change ourselves or
others.
Cure for Shame is Love and Acceptance
Love makes your soul crawl out of its hiding
place.
- Zora Neale Hurston
Love guards the heart from the abyss.
– Mozart
Just that action of paying attention to ourselves,
that I care enough about myself, that I am
worthy enough to pay attention to, starts to
unlock some of those deep beliefs of
unworthiness at a deeper level in the brain.
- Elisha Goldstein
Re-conditioning
 Memory de-consolidation – re-consolidation
 “Light up” neural networks of problematic memory
 Cause neural networks to fall apart temporarily and
instantly rewire by:
 Juxtaposing positive memory that directly contradicts
or disconfirms;
 Focused attention on juxtaposition of both memories
held in simultaneous dual awareness
 Casues the falling apart and the rewiring
Reconditioning
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Anchor in present moment awareness
Resource with acceptance and goodness
Start with small negative memory
“Light up the networks”
Evoke positive memory that contradicts or disconfirms
Simultaneous dual awareness (or toggle)
Refresh and strengthen positive
Let go of negative
Rest in, savor positive
Reflect on shifts in perspective
Wished for Outcome
 Evoke memory of what did happen
 Imagine new behaviors, new players, new
resolution
 Hold new outcome in awareness,
strengthening and refreshing
 Notice shift in perspective of experience, of
self
Rewiring Trauma
 Mindfulness and compassion as container
 Dropping through layers of story, feelings to
body sensations where trauma is stored
 Chunking down the memory to be processed
 Holding the memory in larger resourcing
 Pendulating between positive and negative,
refreshing positive, until negative dissolves or
loses charge
Modes of Processing
 Focused
 Tasks and details
 Self-referential
 New conditioning and de-conditioning
 De-focused
 Default network
 Fertile neural background noise
 Plane of open possibilities
 De-conditioning
Defocused mode
 Dreams
 Daydreams, reveries
 Stream of consciousness
 Imagination
 Guided visualization
Mindfulness Dissolves
the Stuff of “Self”
 Quantum physics investigates matter
 Matter is more space than stuff
 Mindfulness investigates “I”
 Self is not static or fixed; is ever-changing, ever-unfolding
 True Self is flow of beingness
I am larger than I thought.
I did not know I held so much goodness.
- Walt Whitman
Love teaches me I am everything.
Wisdom teaches me I am nothing.
Between the two, my life flows.
- Sri Nisargadatta
Pre-Frontal Cortex
 Toggles back and forth between focused and
defocused modes of processing
 Integration of two modes; integration of right
and left hemispheres, integration of higher
and lower brain
 Deeper brain functioning; brain itself more
reslient
Relational Intelligence
 Setting limits and boundaries
 Negotiating change
 Resolving conflicts
 Repairing ruptures
 Forgiveness
I am no longer afraid of storms,
For I am learning how to sail my ship.
- Louisa May Alcott
Practices to Accelerate Brain Change
 Presence – primes receptivity of brain
 Intention/choice – activates plasticity
 Perseverance – creates and installs change
How long should you try? Until. - Jim Rohn
The difference between try and triumph is a little
“umph.” – author unknown
The greatest oak was once a little nut that held
its ground. – Author unknown
Linda Graham, MFT
www.lindagraham-mft.net
[email protected]