Transcript Slide 1
Bouncing Back:
The Neuroscience of
Resilience and Well-Being
Momentous Institute
April 10, 2015
Linda Graham, MFT
[email protected]
www.lindagraham-mft.net
Linda Graham, MFT
Marriage and Family Therapist – 25 years
Bouncing Back: Rewiring Your Brain for
Maximum Resilience and Well-Being
2013 Books for a Better life award
2014 Better Books for a Better World award
[email protected]
www.lindagraham-mft.net
There are no mistakes when there is learning.
- Julia Butterfly Hill
The brain learns from experience
People can learn to respond differently
To manage stress
To bounce back from adversity
People can choose new experiences that
Create new coping strategies
Rewire old coping strategies
People can strengthen their response flexibility
To recover their resilience and well-being
Resilience
Deal with challenges and crises
Bounce back from adversity
Recover our balance and equilibrium
Find refuges and maximize resources
Cope skillfully, flexibly, adaptively
Shift perspectives, open to possibilities, create
options, find meaning and purpose
Resilience for Students
Manage impulses, appropriate behavior
Curiosity, openness to learning and change
Process-encode information into memory
Use information creatively and productively
Imagine, think, plan
Navigate social world, social intelligence
Empathic interactions with others
Develop identity, core values, moral compass
Contribute to larger community, world
Resilience
Hardiness: capacities to last, to endure, to persevere,
to follow through, capacities of determination and
grit.
Coping: Face and deal with disappointments,
difficulties, even disasters; bounce back from
troubles, from adversity, from the unexpected, from
the truly awful.
Flexibility: Adaptability, capacity to shift gears
It is not the strongest of the species that
survives,
nor the most intelligent that survives.
It is the one that is the most adaptive to change.
- Charles Darwin
Between a stimulus and response there is a
space. In that space is our power to choose
our response. In our response lies our growth
and our freedom. The last of human freedoms
is to choose one’s attitude in any given set of
circumstances.
- Viktor Frankl, Austrian psychiatrist,
survivor of Auschwitz
Evolutionary legacy
Genetic templates
Family of origin conditioning
Norms-expectations of culture-society
Who we are and how we cope….
…is not our fault.
Given neuroplasticity
And choices of self-directed neuroplasticity
Who we are and how we cope…
…is our responsibility
- Paul Gilbert, The Compassionate Mind
6 C’s of Coping
Calm
Compassion
Clarity
Connections to Resources
Competence
Courage
Calm
Manage disruptive emotions
Tolerate distress
Down-regulate stress to return to baseline
equilibrium
Compassion
Being touched, moved by experience of pain and
suffering
Flow of kindness, tenderness, care and concern
toward experiencer of pain and suffering
Wise action to alleviate pain and suffering
One cannot live with sighted eyes and feeling heart
and not know the misery which affects the world.
- Lorraine Hansberry
Compassion is a verb. – Thich Nhat Hanh
Clarity
Pause, become present
Notice and name
Step back, dis-entangle, reflect
Shift perspectives; shift states
Discern options
Choose wisely – let go of unwholesome,
cultivate wholesome
Connections
Increasing the social connections in our lives is
probably the single easiest way to enhance our
well-being.
- Matthew Lieberman, UCLA
author of Wired to Connect
Competence
Empowerment and mastery from changing old
coping strategies, learning new ones
Embodying, “I am somebody who CAN do
this.”
You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to
surf. - Jon Kabat-Zinn
Courage
Using signal anxiety as cue to:
Try something new
Take risks
Move resilience beyond personal self
Practices to Accelerate Brain Change
Presence – primes receptivity of brain
Intention/choice – activates plasticity
Practice – creates new pathways, new more
resilient habits of coping
Perseverance – installs change
Modern Brain Science
Neuroscience technology is 25 years old
The field of neuroscience is so new,
we must be comfortable not only
venturing into the unknown
but into error.
- Richard Mendius, M.D.
Neuroscience of Resilience
Mindfulness meditation improves attention
and impulse control; students get better
grades, higher SAT scores; schools have less
violence, less bullying
Oxytocin (neurostransmitter of safety and
trust) can calm a panic attack in less than a
minute
Kindness and comfort protects against stress,
trauma, psychopathology - lifelong
Neuroplasticity
Growing new neurons
Strengthening synaptic connections
Myelinating pathways – faster processing
Creating and altering brain structure and
circuitry
Organizing and re-organizing functions of brain
structures
Mechanisms of Brain Change
Conditioning
New Conditioning
Re-Conditioning
De-Conditioning
Conditioning
Experience causes neurons to fire
Repeated experiences, repeated neural firings
Neurons that fire together wire together
Strengthen synaptic connections
Connections stabilize into neural pathways
Without intervention, is what the brain does all
the time
Conditioning is neutral, wires positive and
negative
The brain is shaped by experience. And because
we have a choice about what experiences we
want to use to shape our brain, we have a
responsibility to choose the experiences that
will shape the brain toward the wise and the
wholesome.
- Richard J. Davidson, PhD
Pre-Frontal Cortex
Development kindled in relationships
Executive center of higher brain
Evolved most recently – makes us human
Matures the latest – 25 years of age
Most integrative structure of brain
Evolutionary masterpiece
CEO of resilience
Functions of Pre-Frontal Cortex
Regulate body and nervous system
Quell fear response of amygdala
Manage emotions
Attunement – felt sense of feelings
Empathy – making sense of expereince
Insight and self-knowing
Response flexibility
Planning, decision making
New Conditioning
Choose new experiences
Gratitude practice, listening skills, focusing
attention, self-compassion, self-acceptance
Create new learning, new memory
Encode new wiring
Install new pattern of response
Re-conditioning
Memory de-consolidation – re-consolidation
“Light up” neural networks
Juxtapose old negative with new positive
Neurons fall apart, rewire
New rewires old
Modes of Processing
Focused Attention
Tasks and details
Deliberate, guided change
New conditioning and re-conditioning
De-focused Attention
Default network
Mental play space – random change
De-conditioning
De-Conditioning
Default network
De-focusing, loosens grip of attention
Creates mental play space, free association
Can drop into worry, rumination
Plane of open possibilities
Brain makes new links, associations
New insights, aha!s new behaviors
De-Conditioning
Imagination
Guided visualizations
Guided meditations
Reverie, daydreams
Brain “plays,” makes own associations and
links, connect dots in new ways
Reflect on new insights
Keep Calm and Carry On
Serenity is not freedom from the storm
but peace amidst the storm.
- author unknown
Calm
Manage disruptive emotions
Tolerate distress
Down-regulate stress to return to baseline
equilibrium
3 Motivational Systems
Threat-protection
cortisol
Satisfaction-reward
dopamine
Soothing-comfort-caregiving
oxytocin
Window of Tolerance
SNS – explore, play, create, produce…. OR
Fight-flight-freeze
Baseline physiological equilibrium
Calm and relaxed, engaged and alert
WINDOW OF TOLERANCE
Relational and resilient
Equanimity
PNS – inner peace, serenity…. OR
Numb out, collapse
Hand on the Heart
Touch – oxytocin – safety and trust
Deep breathing – parasympathetic
Breathing ease into heart center
Brakes on survival responses
Coherent heart rate
Being loved and cherihed
Oxytocin – direct and immediate antidote to stress
hormone cortisol
Pre-empts stress response
Calm through the Body
Hand on the Heart
Hugs
Body Scan
Progressive Muscle Relaxation
Power Posing
Power Posing
Amy Cuddy TED talk
Before important meeting or interview:
Stand tall and straight, like mountain pose in
yoga
Lift your arms in triumph
or
Place hands on hips (Wonder Woman)
Mindfulness and Compassion
Awareness of what’s happening
(and our reactions to what’s happening)
Acceptance of what’s happening
(and our reactions to what’s happening)
Two most powerful agents of brain change known
to science; both foster response flexibility
Rewiring that is safe, efficient, effective
Compassion Practice
Mindfulness
Awareness of what’s happening
(and our reaction to what’s happening)
Self-Compassion
Acceptance of what’s happening
(and our reaction to what’s happening)
Compassion – Common Humanity
Wise effort in response to what’s happening
(and our reactions to what’s happening)
Mindfulness and Compassion
Activate Caregiving System
Mindfulness
Focuses awareness on experience
May I accept this moment, exactly as it is
Self-Compassion
Focuses kindness on experiencer
May I accept myself exactly as I am in this moment
Activates caregiving system
Shift from reactivity and contraction to openness,
engagement
Caregiving System
Activates oxytocin, hormone of safety and
trust
Down-regulates stress hormone cortisol
Returns nervous system to calm, equilibrium
Creates left shift; brain more open to, engaged
with experience; larger perspective
Common humanity – social engagement
Self-Compassion Break
Notice moment of suffering
Ouch! This hurts! This is painful.
Soothing touch (hand on heart, cheek, hug)
Kindness toward experiencer
May I be kind to myself in this moment
May I accept this moment exactly as it is
May I accept myself in this moment exactly as I am
May I give myself all the compassion I need to
respond to this moment wisely
Loving Kindness with
Self-Compassion
Sit comfortably, focus on gentle breathing, in and out
Feel breath in entire body; let your body breathe you
Breathe into areas of physical stress, discomfort
Notice difficult emotions; incline awareness toward
contraction or discomfort
Self-compassion phrases: “May I be….”
Your own phrases of kindness, tenderness, care
Rest in stillness and peace in body
One for Me; One for You
Breathing in, “nourishing, nourishing”
Breathing out, “soothing, soothing”
In imagination, “nourishing for me, nourishing
for you, soothing for me, soothing for you”
“One for me, one for you”
Practice breathing “one for me, one for you”
when in conversation with someone
Caregiving with Equanimity
Everyone is on his or her own life journey.
I am not the cause of this person’s suffering,
nor is it entirely within my power to make it go
away,
even if I wish I could.
Moments like this are difficult to bear,
Yet I may still try to help if I can.
Positive Emotions
Gratitude
Awe
Generosity
Compassion
Delight
Serenity
Love
Curiosity
Kindness
Joy
Trust
Negativity Bias – Left Shift
Brain hard-wired to notice and remember
negative and intense more than positive and
subtle; how we survive as individuals and as a
species
Leads to tendency to avoid experience
Positive emotions activate “left shift,” brain is
more open to approaching experience,
learning, and action
Positive Emotions
Less stress, anxiety, depression, loneliness
More friendships, social support, collaboration
Shift in perspectives, more optimism
More creativity, productivity
Better health, better sleep
Live on average 7-9 years longer
Resilience is direct outcome
Benefits of Self-Compassion
Increased motivation; efforts to learn and grow
Less fear of failure; greater likelihood to try again
Taking responsibility for mistakes; apologies and
forgiveness
More resilience in coping with life stressors
Less depression, anxiety, stress, avoidance
Healthier relationships; more support and, less control
and/or aggression
Increased social connectedness, life satisfaction, and
happiness
A hundred times every day, I remind myself that
my inner and outer life depend on the labors of
other people, and that I must exert myself in
order to give in the same measure as I have
received and am still receiving.
- Albert Einstein
Gratitude
2-minute free write
Gratitude journal
Gratitude buddy
Carry love and appreciation in your wallet
Take in the Good
Notice: in the moment or in memory
Enrich: felt sense in the body
Absorb: savor 10-20-30 seconds
Repeat: 6 times a day; install in long-term
memory
Circle of Support
Call to mind people who have been supportive
of you; who have “had your back”
Currently, in the past, in imagination
Imagine them gathered around you, or behind
you, lending you their faith in you, and their
strengths in coping
Imagine your circle of support present with
you as you face difficult people or situations
Positivity Portfolio
Ask 10 friends to send cards or e-mails
expressing appreciation of you
Assemble phrases on piece of paper
Tape to bathroom mirror or computer monitor,
carry in wallet or purse
Read phrases 3 times a day for 30 days
Savor and appreciate
Mindfulness
Focused attention on
present moment experience
without judgment or resistance.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn
Mindfulness
Pause, become present
Notice and name
Step back, dis-entangle, reflect
Shift perspectives; shift states
Discern options
Choose wisely – let go of unwholesome,
cultivate wholesome
Response flexibility creates resilience
Mindfulness and
Therapy/Counseling
Even-hovering attention
Unconditional positive regard
Observing ego
“What are you noticing now?”
Catch the moment; make a choice
Affectionate Breathing
Sit comfortably; breathe slowly and gently.
Incline your awareness toward your breathing
with tenderness and curiosity
Let the body breathe itself; notice the natural
nourishing and soothing of the body
Feel the whole body breathe
Allow the body to be gently rocked by the breath
Savor the stillness and peace in the body
Soles of the Feet
Stand up; feel soles of feet on the floor
Rock back and forth, rock side to side
Make little circles with your knees
Walk slowly; notice changes in sensations
Offer gratitude to your feet that support your
entire body, all day long
Shifting Perspectives in Nature
BELLY BOTANY
Select a one square foot patch of earth.
Observe patch from two feet away/above
for two minutes.
(light and shadow, movement and stillness,
beauty and decay, life and death)
Shift your view to the larger landscape, all the
way to the horizon.
Reflect on shift in perspective.
Notice and Name
Increasingly complex objects of awareness:
Sensations as sensations
Emotions as emotions
Cascades of emotions as cascades
Thoughts as thoughts
Patterns of thoughts as patterns
States of mind as states of mind
Identities, belief systems and identities as
Mental contents, patterns of neural firing
Awareness itself- a vast sky that clouds and storms pass
through
Mindfulness
Catch the moment; make a choice
- Janet Friedman
Every moment has a choice;
Every choice has an impact.
- Julia Butterfly Hill
Autobiography in Five Short
Chapters – Portia Nelson
I
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost…I am helpless
It isn’t my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.
II
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I’m in the same place
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
III
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in…it’s a habit
My eyes are open,
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
IV
I walk down the same street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
V
I walk down another street.
-Portia Nelson
Connections
Increasing the social connections in our lives is
probably the single easiest way to enhance our
well-being.
- Matthew Lieberman, UCLA
Kindness is more important than wisdom,
And the recognition of that is the beginning of
wisdom.
- Theodore Rubin
Ah, the comfort,
The inexpressible comfort
Of feeling safe with a person.
Having neither to weigh out thoughts
Nor words,
But pouring them all right out, just as they are,
Chaff and grain together;
Certain that a faithful hand
Will take them and sift them;
Keeping what is worth keeping and,
With the breath of kindness,
Blow the rest away.
- Dinah Craik
Compassionate Friend
Sit comfortably; hand on heart for loving awareness
Imagine safe place
Imagine warm, compassionate figure –
Compassionate Friend
Sit-walk-talk with compassionate friend
Discuss difficulties; listen for exactly what you need
to hear from compassionate friend
Receive object of remembrance from friend
Reflect-savor intuitive wisdom
Shame De-Rails Resilience
Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience
of believing we are flawed and therefore
unworthy of acceptance and belonging.
Shame erodes the part of ourselves that believes
we are capable of change. We cannot change and
grow when we are in shame, and we can’t use
shame to change ourselves or others.
- Brene Brown, PhD
Wished for Outcome
Evoke memory of what did happen
Imagine new behaviors, new players, new
resolution
Hold new outcome in awareness,
strengthening and refreshing
Notice shift in perspective of experience, of
self
Competence
Empowerment and mastery from changing old
coping strategies, learning new ones
Embodying, “I am somebody who CAN do
this.”
You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to
surf. -Jon Kabat-Zinn
Learning Model
Unconscious Incompetence
Conscious Incompetence
Conscious Competence
Unconscious Competence
Coherent Narrative
This is what happened.
This is what I did.
This has been the cost.
This is what I learned.
This is what I would do differently going
forward.
Find the Gift in the Mistake
Regrettable Moment – Teachable Moment
What’s Right with this Wrong?
What’s the Lesson?
What’s the Cue to Act Differently?
Find the Gift in the Mistake
I am no longer afraid of storms,
For I am learning how to sail my ship.
- Louisa May Alcott
Courage
It’s as wrong to deny the possible
As it is to deny the problem.
- Dennis Seleeby
A ship is safe in harbor, but that’s not what ships are for.
- Grace Hopper
Yes, risk-taking is inherently failure-prone.
Otherwise, it would be called sure thing-taking
- Tim McMahon
Do One Scary Thing a Day
Venture into New or Unknown
Somatic marker of “Uh, oh”
Dopamine disrupted
Cross threshold into new
Satisfaction, mastery
Dopamine restored
Human Brain:
Evolutionary Masterpiece
100 billion neurons
Each neuron contains the entire human genome
Neurons “fire” hundreds of time per second
Neurons connect to 5,000-7,000 other neurons
Trillions of synaptic connections
As many connections in single cubic centimeter of
brain tissue as stars in Milky Way galaxy
How to Replenish Human Brain
Exercise-Movement
Sleep - Rest
Nutrition
Laughter-Play
Learn Something New
Hang Out with Healthy Brains
Exercise - Movement
Macro
cardio – BDNF
Yoga, qi gong – move the energy
Micro
3-minute better than nothing workout
Move your body once every hour
Sense and savor walk
Sleep - Rest
Macro – 8 hours every night
Housekeeping
Reset nervous system
Consolidate learning
Sleep hygiene
Micro
Take mental breaks; switch the channel
Take a nap
Mini-meditate (10 breaths)
Take Mental Breaks
Focus on something else (positive is good)
Talk to someone else (resonant is good)
Move-walk somewhere else (nature is good)
Every 90 minutes; avoid adrenal fatigue
Nutrition
Macro
Eat healthy!
More protein, more water, less sugar, less carbs,
less calories, less caffeine/alcohol
Micro
Savor (eat a raisin meditation)
Eat one meal a day without doing anything else
Laughter-Play
Macro
Have a good time at family/friends
dinner/celebration
Schedule a play date
Schedule a silly date
Micro
Watch a 4-minute Happify Daily video
Read two minutes of jokes
Learn Something New
Macro
Speak a foreign language
Play a musical instrument
Juggle
Play chess
Micro
Learn a new poem, quote, flower, bird each day
Hang Out with Healthy Brains
Macro
Friendships, extra-curricular activities and clubs,
athletics, choir
Practice gratitude at family dinners
Micro
Read 10 pages of a good book, magazine article, blog
post
Send the link of the above to a friend
Send a text or email of gratitude, acknowledgement,
appreciation to friend, co-worker
There is a natural and inviolable tendency in
things to bloom into whatever they truly are in
the core of their being.
All we have to do is align ourselves with what
wants to happen naturally and put in the effort
that is our part in helping it happen.
- David Richo
Mastering the art of resilience does much more
than restore you to who you once thought you
were. Rather, you emerge from the experience
transformed into a truer expression of who you
were really meant to be.
- Carol Orsborn
Bouncing Back:
The Neuroscience of
Resilience and Well-Being
Momentous Institute
April 10, 2015
Linda Graham, MFT
[email protected]
www.lindagraham-mft.net