Transcript Mediator A Mediator is a person who brings people together

Conflict Resolution
Michele Brezovec - Coach
Teaching Mediation Skills to Help
a Team Work Well Together
2004-2005 TEAMS
FLL History



2004-2005: Two teams, First and Second place in
States for Teamwork
2003-2004: One girls team and one boys team
2002-2003: First year
Mechanical Engineering
Simple Machines
White Mountains Workshop







Teambuilding activities
Hiking to a hut
Helping each other make it up
Mixing it up
Laughing a lot
Getting to know each other
All members must go
Ready to Climb the Mountain
A Rest Stop on the Way to
Tuckerman’s Ravine
Kids need to take ownership of
the team and their actions.
Team Needs




Each member needs to belong (sharing and
cooperating with others)
Need to have power (fulfilled by achieving,
accomplishing, and being recognized and
respected)
Need for freedom (make choices in their lives and
being safe)
Need for fun (fulfilled by laughing and playing)
Students need to know that
they have a voice.
Group Togetherness: Fridays
What to Teach to the Team









What is conflict
Anger management
Communications skills - active listening
Feelings are important
Conflict in our lives
Conflict styles
Win/win agreements
Building trust
Social skills
A Contract
Conflict



Everyone has it
Part of our everyday lives
Will continue to exist no matter how we deal with
it
We Grow Through Conflict






Learn about ourselves, others
Learn how to communicate (listen)
Learn the skills to solve problems
Empathy
Understanding
With practice/success we become better
Sources of Conflict





Communication
Resources
Needs
Values/perceptions
Structural conditions
Perceptions of Conflict

Each person in a conflict will view the conflict
differently. For resolution it is important that
each understand how the other views the problem.
Conflict Styles



Confrontational/Aggressive
Avoidance/Passive
Problem Solving
Conflict Resolution



Directly involves the conflicting parties in both
resolution process and outcome
Proactively offers skills and strategies to
participants prior to their involvement in the
conflict
Maximizes the use of negotiation and mediation
processes to resolve disputes
Feeling Are Important

Can’t begin to get at the reason(s) for a conflict
until we deal with the underlying feelings
A View to Share With All
Anger Management




Control
Communicate
Channel
Confront
Don’t Let Anger Erupt








Fear
Hurt
Stress
Sadness
Hostility
Loneliness
Feelings of failure
Frustration
Peer Mediation is:






A chance to work out your problem
We won’t tell you what to do
We will not take sides
We are not judges
Everything is confidential
Both parties need to want to solve the problem
Mediator
A Mediator is a person who brings people together
who are separated by disagreement and who help
them to solve the problem so that they both win!
Role of a Mediator







Doesn’t take sides
Is respectful
Helps people work together
Keeps information confidential
Is an active listener
A good team worker
Dependable and responsible
What to do







Listen carefully
Be fair
Ask how each person feels
Let each person state what happened
Treat each person with respect
Keep what you are told confidential
Mediate in private
What not to do







Take sides
Tell them what to do
Ask who started it
Blame anyone for the situation
Ask, “Why did you do that?”
Give advice
Look for witnesses
Ground Rules





No name calling or put downs
No interrupting
Be Honest
Agree to solve the problem
Do you understand
Disputants



Take ownership of the problem and the solutions
When students come up with their own solutions,
they feel in control of their lives and committed to
the plans of actions that they have created to
address their problems.
Skills they develop while being a part of the
process may carry through to their lives
Mediation Agreement/Contract

We have reached an agreement that we believe is
fair and that solves the problem between us. In
the future if we have problems that we cannot
resolve on our own, we agree to come back to
mediation.
Defining the Problem

We can’t find solutions until we define it first
I Messages




Behavior - (What event made you angry)
“When...”
Feelings - (How does that behavior effect me) “I
feel…”
Effect - (Reason - Why do I feel this way)
“Because…”
Change - (What would make it better) “What I
would like is…”
Active Listening






Use good eye contact
Pay attention to body posture
Use non-verbal cues: uh-huh, nod, etc
Ask clarifying questions: open or closed questions as
needed
Repeat back what you heard them say (in your own
words)
Use neutral language
A Trust Exercise
The Treed Cat




Story about a student and a cat and what is
happening.
One student reads it to a volunteer.
This volunteer then repeats the story from
memory to another student that was outside of the
room.
Then this student then repeats the story to the
second student outside of the room.
Active Listening Game



Draw a picture on a blackboard
Have one group of students facing away and one
facing the blackboard
Students facing the blackboard has to describe
what is on the board and the other has to draw it
Descriptions
Active Listening

Students sit two circles with the inner one facing
the outer one. Each pair talks for two minutes
learning as much as possible about each other.
After two minutes they repeat what they learned.
The inner circle then moves over one person to
the right until they have talked with all of the
students in the outer circle.
Tie That Shoe
One Fish, Two Fish, Three



Team building game
One person in the front facing away from group
The group of five students need to take the object
from behind the guesser and get it back to base
without the guesser finder out who has the object
The Web

We all look at things differently.
The Web
Hand Tangle
Teamwork With Dice
The Log Rotation
Everyone Has To Move This
Object A Little Further
THE END