Transcript Slide 1

MEDIATION, CONFLICT RESOLUTION &
EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
WHAT IS CONFLICT?
The Nature of Conflict
• Conflict is an inevitable part of life.
• Conflict signals a need for change.
• Conflict can result in a learning experience.
• Conflict can be positive and productive. If
people express their feelings and needs in a
positive and constructive way it reduces anxiety
and prevents the escalation of conflict.
• Conflict can lead to positive growth in working
and personal relationships.
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The Third Side
• Fight
• Flight/Freeze
• The Third Side
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Conflict Resolution Styles
Every person has their own style or way of handling
themselves in a conflict. Some use a variety of
styles while others depend solely on one.
There are five distinct conflict resolution styles:
Avoidance (turtle) “Not now, maybe later” It is
easier to withdraw than to face difficult issues.
Accommodation (teddy bear). “Let’s try it your
way”. Values relationships over goals and will
give up on goals in order to be liked.
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Conflict Resolution Styles
Compromise (fox) “Let's make a deal” Looks for
a solution where each gives up something
Problem Solving (owl) “Let's work it out together”.
Values both goals and relationships
Problem solving process is the only conflict
resolution style that allows for the potential of a
win-win outcome.
Confrontation (shark) “Hit head on” Tries to
overpower opponents. Goals are important,
relationships aren’t.
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GETTING TO YES
• Separate the People from the
Problems
• Know Your BATNA (Best
Alternative to a Negotiated
Agreement)
• Focus on interests, not positions
or values
• Explore options for mutual gain
• Use objective criteria
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Win-Win Outcomes
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Conflict Ladder
• Needs/interests
• Positions
• Values
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Positional Negotiation
1.
Assumes you know all the relevant information
2.
Goal is to convince the other side that your point of
view makes the most sense
3.
Tactics focus on “dividing
the pie” or win/lose concessions
4.
Compromise or concessions
strain the working relationship
5.
ZOPA (Zone of Possible
Agreement) is minimized
Interest Based Negotiation
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Avoids repetition or escalation of conflict
Builds partnerships and community
Increases commitment to action plans
Creates transparency about decision making
Clarifies shared and divergent interests
Flexible and creative agreements
Focuses time & energy on substance and positive outcomes
Leads to durable agreements
Examples of Needs/Interests
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Autonomy/ Freedom
Respect/ Fairness
Trust/ Reassurance
Equality/ Justice
Being heard/
Appreciation
• Predictability/
Consistency
• Acknowledgement/
Recognition
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Understanding/ Clarity
Growth/ Healing
Safety/ Shelter
Self worth/ Respect
Honesty/ Authenticity
Independence/ Choice
Support/ Cooperation
Friendship/ Sharing
Community/ Family
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The Truth
Absolute truth often does not
exist
Truth is often not the most
important factor in a dispute
Fact-finding will often not resolve
the problem between the
parties
Fact-finding raises the risk of
compromising the mediator’s
neutrality
Mediators are not trained for factfinding
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Start an information sharing conversation
1.
2.
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“Unpack” a position: describe
the meaning and why it is
important to a person or
organization
Clarify interests; acknowledge
both shared and competing
interests
Practice listening and conflict
management skills
Use open-ended questions
Building Agreements
1.
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Generate options based on
individual and joint interests
Evaluate options by setting
priorities among interests
Use reality checks to test
agreements
Consider “experiments” to test
tentative agreements
Write detailed agreements and
action plans
Managing Dirty Tricks
Create ground rules
Ignore or call out bad behavior
Name it: “I’m not sure that yelling is
really going to get us anywhere”
Ask what’s going on: “You seem
really upset. How come?”
Reflect and diffuse strong emotion
Use repetition or silence
Reinforce positive behavior
Go to the balcony
Try a different tool
End the relationship
Listening Skills
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The Truth
Absolute truth often does not exist
Truth is often not the most
important factor in a dispute
Fact-finding will often not resolve
the problem between the parties
Fact-finding raises the risk of
compromising the mediator’s
neutrality
Mediators are not trained for factfinding
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3 LEVELS OF LISTENING
•Facts (what)
•Needs (why)
•Emotions (how)
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Eight Ways We Don’t Listen
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Mind Reader
Thinking “what is the person really thinking or feeling?”
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Rehearser - “Here’s what I’ll say next.”
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Filterer - Selective listening
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Dreamer - Drifting off
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Identifier
Referring everything to your own experience
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Derailer
Changes the subject quickly
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Sparrer
Belittle or discount
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Placater
Agree with everything to be nice or to avoid conflict
Source: The Writing Lab, Purdue University Press
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MEHRABIAN’S RULE
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Breaker Switches/Hot Buttons
• Things that drive you crazy
• Types of people for whom you have limited
tolerance
• Character traits that cause you to lose patience
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Managing Hot Buttons/Breaker
Switches
• Self-awareness
• Go to the balcony
• Count
• Breathe
• Silence
• I’m outta here!
• Others?
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Conflict Management Toolbox
1. Listen Actively
2. Reframe/restate/
3. Reflect emotions
4. Intervene as little as possible, but
as much as is necessary
5. Use of Silence
6. Look for apologies
7. Look for areas of agreement
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Conflict Management Toolbox
7. Reality Testing/BATNA
8. Brainstorming
9. Find the Interests Underlying
the Positions
10. Caucusing/Shuttle Diplomacy
11. Use Objective measuring tools
12. Be Future-Oriented
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QUESTIONING TECHNIQUES
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Closed-ended Questions
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Open-ended Questions
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USE OF SILENCE
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REFLECTING EMOTIONS
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Reality Testing
Tell me what that will look
like?
How will that work?
What happens if we are not
able to reach an agreement
in mediation?
Have you gotten any legal or other professional
advice?
People
Mediation!
A Recent study by the Center for Conflict
Resolution showed the characteristics of
mediation most favored by participants are:
• Ability to use their own vocabulary;
• Having enough time to tell their story;
• Being listened to;
• Feeing empowered to generate and craft
options and solutions
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What is NYSAMP?
The New York State Agricultural
Mediation Program is one of
35 programs around the
country, funded by the United
States Department of Agriculture, that provide conflict
Management services for cases
Involving agricultural producers.
In NYS, the funds are administered by the
NYS Unified Court System and the NYS
Dispute Resolution Association. Services are
offered in all 62 counties of the state.
COMMUNITY DIALOGUE ON
CHALLENGING ISSUES
We can help you host
productive, respectful
conversations on
challenging issues
facing your community
Dialogue and
discourse; not
argument and debate
Sample Principles and Ground Rules for
Community Conversations
Everyone is encouraged to participate.
We listen to each other.
No one or two individuals dominate.
Speak from the heart.
All the major choices or positions on
the issue are considered.
We remember that conversation is the
natural way humans think together.
Seek to understand rather than
persuade
Be brief
One person talks at a time. Don’t cut
people off.
We expect it to be messy at times.
4 Pine West Plaza; Suite 411; Albany, NY 12205
Peter Glassman -- Statewide Director of the NYS Agricultural Mediation Program
[email protected]