Busy Person Coaching Lessons Lessons Learned:

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Transcript Busy Person Coaching Lessons Lessons Learned:

Busy Person
Coaching
Lessons Learned: Meeting the hurdles of Lessons
1
Subject:
failure successfully
Whenever we meet challenges we should expect some problems.
Whenever we make a
change, we are taking a risk. Taking risks is not necessarily bad or negative. In fact, a lot of
our progress (both external and internal) comes from applying new ideas to old problems.
Effective leaders, as history has shown, are risk takers.
They move forward along a new path, and along that path they meet hurdles that could
block the way of progress.
For an effective leader it is most
failures should you not meet the
supervisors allow failures to spoil
result, their performance starts to
important how you deal with your
demands of the “hurdle.” Some
their confidence and self-esteem. As a
spiral downward, because they are
FOCUSING on the WRONG THING.
The effective response to failure, is to focus on positive and valuable information that has been
gained = lessons learned. [NOTE: When someone on your team fails, try to keep this “lessons
learned” in mind. Of course, as effective supervisors and leaders, we should be pro-active in
trying to sort out the potential risks and points of possible failure before they occur. As always,
though, “it’s always easier said than done.”]
Effective leaders understand that
risk-taking and failures are
opportunities to learn valuable
lessons for the future.
Big problem or small,
you can learn from
them all.
Final humorous note about a guy who failed a few times: In a cartoon strip
called “Dilbert” there is a related bit of advice. When a big project comes
along, and upper management wants someone with a lot of experience,
they’ll probably come looking for him, because he knows and has lived
through all the mistakes and failures – and he’ll know how avoid them better
than anyone else!
Busy Person
Coaching
Benefits of Being & Staying Positive Lessons
Subject:
2
There are so many benefits – intellectual, emotional, psychological and even physical – in
being and staying positive. In fact, our health and the health of others can be directly affected
by our attitudes toward who we are, what we do, and how we do it, as a supervisor.
To explain more, here are several benefits of being and staying positive.
INFLUENCE OTHERS
When you are positive, all people around you are positively influenced
GAIN INTEREST IN YOUR ISSUES
A
positive attitude converts a personality that is usually ignored to one that is welcomed
and liked
STRENGTHEN LEADERSHIP
A leader with a positive attitude keeps followers following longer and more loyally
FULFILL GOALS
People can reach their potential more easily when they have a positive attitude
INCREASE CREATIVITY
You
can be more creative when you have a positive attitude
MOTIVATE OTHERS
Your
positive attitude motivates others by releasing their creative energy stored up inside
INSTILL CONFIDENCE
The positive energy you show gives others more confidence in themselves, their
work, and in YOU.
3
Subject:
Decision Making & Leadership
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If your direct reports need to bring everything to you for approval, the decision-making
process could be pushed to a lower level – giving you more time to work on other tasks.
Sometimes, decisions MUST only be made by you (certainly when the decision affects those
issues that set the direction for company vision/strategy and YOUR responsibilities). But,
consider how many decisions you make in a day, week, and month. Perhaps some of those
decisions could have been made by others.
Ask yourself: “Am I reluctant to let go of decision-making responsibility, and to delegate
some responsibility to others who report to me?”
What’s your answer?
Check the ones that you feel are true for you.
 I can decide faster.
 I would not be in control if I’m not the one making the decisions.
 I know all the background factors; they don’t.
 The employee might make a mistake.
 I have more experience, so I can make a better decision.
 I feel a little guilty passing the responsibility to my employee.
 My employees don’t like taking responsibility for making decisions;
they want me to do it.
 I like making all the decisions.
Importance for your Leadership Development.
1.
If any of these are true for you, maybe it’s time to think about a little change in your behavior.
Your development toward effective leadership will be blocked if you are always making every
decision big and small.
2.
If you feel your employees are not experienced enough to make decisions on their own, then you
need to prepare them (by giving them decisions to make and coaching them as needed).
3.
If you feel they don’t have the background, then communicate to them the important facts about
the issue or problem through Open Communication and Dialog.
4.
If they don’t have enough experience, then now is the time for them to get some by being
involved in real decisions.
5.
Feeling guilty is your own “in-experience” in delegating responsibility. “Being in control” does
not only mean MAKING the decisions.
6.
Employees will make mistakes. Haven’t you? What happened? The effective leader will offer
coaching, advice and support (using the Lessons Learned technique).
7.
Employees will gain confidence when you support them. Try praising their good decisions, and
reminding them about “Lessons Learned” when their decision is off target.
See the next page for a suggested Decision-Making Process
Busy Person
Coaching
Decision-Making Process, part 1 Lessons
Subject:
4
“The Right Thing for the Right Reason in the Right Way.”
That’s a famous bit of advice from Dr. Stephen Covey in his book The 7 Habits of Highly
Successful People. But let’s add to that my following elements:
At the Right Time, by the Right People.
Delegating decisions is not easy.
Most important is strategically choosing which to delegate and
then consistently delegating those to others.
A formula can help you sort out a decision by looking clearly at factors and identifying your best
options.
PROCESS STEP
INSTRUCTIONS
Define desired outcome.
Know your purpose/goal. (know what before
how)
Establish decision criteria.
Know the important factors involved. (cost,
time, safety)
Propose alternative solutions.
List all possible ways to attain your purpose
or reach your goal. ( write these out)
Choose & compare top 3 solutions. Decide the best solution based on your
criteria.
Communicate decision.
The way of communicating is as important as
the quality of your decision. (use your own
excitement, interest, energy)
Follow up.
Make sure the decision is fully implemented
at the “right time and by the right people” to
reach your desired outcome.
Important Reminder about Motivation and Decision Making: “The Right
Thing for the Right Reason in the Right Way.” At the Right Time, by the Right
People. In private, one-to-one conversation, the leader should coach his people,
rather than making comments in public with other team members present.
Consistency is extremely important.
Employees will find it difficult to keep up that extra level of motivation if your
decisions indicate one direction today and another direction tomorrow. Why?
Because Consistency is a signal of your commitment to what you believe is
important and Right.
Respecting people here means choosing the right time (and place), and making sure
you are the right one to communicate the decision (especially if it is Bad News).
Part 2 on next page
Busy Person
Coaching
Decision-Making Process, part 2 Lessons
Avoiding common weaknesses.
5
Subject:
Do you have “perfection paralysis”?
Remember: a good decision today, is better than a perfect decision
tomorrow, when it’s too late to do anything of value. The results of your
decisions can be modified, corrected and adjusted afterward – in the real
world.
Do you have “delegation hesitation”?
Remember: ask yourself what will happen if I don’t do it? Or what will
happen if I ask someone else to do it? Making the decision to implement
the solution yourself, or asking another to contribute can cause a big
problem in moving forward.
Do you have “time management malaise”?
Remember: Following the decision-making process and staying focused
and consistent with your vision will help you to spend less time making
decisions – and more time improving your leadership skills and power.
Developing Your Decision-Making Skill [review]
• Establish a clear goal
• Know important factors involved
• Think of several solutions
• Choose the best solution, based on your goal and factors
• Let everyone affected by the decision know it
• Show your confidence, enthusiasm for the solution
• Check that everyone involved has implemented it
Integrate
Hand & Head & Heart
6
Busy Person
Coaching
PMI - Weighing the Pros and Cons of a Decision Lessons
Subject:
How to use tool:
PMI stands for 'Plus/Minus/Implications'. It is a valuable improvement to the 'weighing pros and cons'
technique used for centuries.
PMI is an important decision-making tool: the mind tools used so far in this section have focused on
selecting a course of action from a range of options. Before you move straight to action on this course
of action, it is important to check that it is going to improve the situation (it may actually be best to do
nothing!) PMI is a useful tool for doing this.
To use PMI, draw up a table headed up 'Plus', 'Minus', and 'Implications'. In the column underneath
'Plus', write down all the positive results of taking the action. Underneath 'Minus' write down all the
negative effects. In the 'Implications' column write down the implications and possible outcomes of
taking the action, whether positive or negative.
By this stage it may already be obvious whether or not you should implement the decision. If it is not,
consider each of the points you have written down and assign a positive or negative score to it
appropriately. The scores you assign may be quite subjective.
Once you have done this, add up the score. A strongly positive score shows that an action should be
taken, a strongly negative score that it should be avoided.
Example:
A young professional is deciding where to live. Her question is 'should she move to London?'
PLUS
More going on (+5)
Easier to see friends (+5)
Easier to get to places (+3)
(+13)
MINUS
Have to sell house (-6)
More pollution (-3)
Less space (-3)
No countryside (-2)
More difficult to get to
work (-4)
(-18)
IMPLICATIONS
Easier to find new job? (+1)
Meet more people? (+2)
Difficult to get own work
done? (-4)
(-1)
The comforts of a settled rural existence outweigh the call of the 'bright lights' - it would be much
better for her to live outside London, but close enough to travel in if necessary. PMI was
codified by Edward de Bono in his book Serious Creativity.
Busy Person
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Subject:
Lessons
Force Field Analysis - Understanding The Pressures For and Against Change
7
How to Use the Tool:
Force Field Analysis is a useful technique for looking at all the forces for and against a decision. In
effect, it is a specialized method of weighing pros and cons.
By carrying out the analysis you can plan to strengthen the forces supporting a decision, and reduce
the impact of opposition to it.
To carry out a force field analysis, follow these steps:
 List all forces for change in one column, and all forces against change in another column.
 Assign a score to each force, from 1 (weak) to 5 (strong).
 Draw a diagram showing the forces for and against change. Show the size of each force as a
number next to it.
For example, imagine that you are a manager deciding whether to install new manufacturing equipment
in your factory. You might draw up a force field analysis like the one in Figure 1:
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Once you have carried out an analysis, you can decide whether your project is viable. In the example
above, you might initially question whether it is worth going ahead with the plan.
Where you have already decided to carry out a project, Force Field Analysis can help you to work out how
to improve its probability of success. Here you have two choices:
 To reduce the strength of the forces opposing a project, or
 To increase the forces pushing a project
Often the most elegant solution is the first: just trying to force change through may cause its own
problems. People can be uncooperative if change is forced on them.





If you had to implement the project in the example above, the analysis might suggest a number of changes
to the initial plan:
By training staff (increase cost by 1) you could eliminate fear of technology (reduce fear by 2)
It would be useful to show staff that change is necessary for business survival (new force in favor,
+2)
Staff could be shown that new machines would introduce variety and interest to their jobs (new
force, +1)
You could raise wages to reflect new productivity (cost +1, loss of overtime -2)
Slightly different machines with filters to eliminate pollution could be installed (environmental
impact -1)
These changes would swing the balance from 11:10 (against the plan), to 8:13 (in favor of the plan).
Key points:
Force Field Analysis is a useful technique for looking at all the forces for and against a plan. It
helps you to weigh the importance of these factors and decide whether a plan is worth
implementing.
Where you have decided to carry out a plan, Force Field Analysis helps you identify changes that
you could make to improve it.
Busy Person
Coaching
Supervisor Strategies, Leadership Power
Lessons
9
Subject:
Non-verbal Communication: Physical & Voice, part 1
This facet of a leader’s power is usually under-estimated in importance, because not
enough is really explained clearly and briefly about the “Why” and “How” of it.
Non-verbal communication is what you communicate without using words or symbols.
That means, even when you say nothing, you’re saying something. There are several
elements that are found in non-verbal communication, but here are 7 that are most
important and can contribute to your effectiveness today.
1.The first is Posture, the way you sit and stand.
Professionals pay attention to the way
they sit and stand, because it projects an image about them as leaders, businessmen and
people. So, while you stand, stand tall. The same goes for sitting and walking, if you want
to show you’re confident, comfortable and in charge. One caution, though, don’t walk as if
you own the place and everyone in it – that will make people dislike, not admire you.
2.Next is Kinesics (gestures of the hands and arms), which all of us use more or less
while we talk. The objective with Kinesics is to coordinate our movements with our words
to add power to what we say. For example, use “enumeration” when you list up to 5
points, ideas or reasons. First clearly show how many points with your fingers, then one by
one show each finger and say each point, idea or reason. This tactic gives your audience a
“show and tell” experience which is very powerful and easier for the mind to grasp.
CrossCultural
CAUTION:
This popular local gesture has
different meanings in different
cultures/countries.
Cross-cultural knowledge is important, especially in our multi-cultural work and living
environment in the KSA. Note clearly this advice: KNOW and UNDERSTAND YOUR
OWN CULTURE FIRST VERY WELL, then learn about the others.
Why? If you know your culture’s specific behaviors and actions, you’ll be more aware of
how others will either understand or not be aware of the correct meanings. Just look at
the simple example above. Here are some others:
Check your
understanding
Hands on hips
Eyebrows upward
What do these
mean to you?
A document, small & large
Coffee or tea cup
Near Eastern head shake
See part 2, next page
Busy Person
10
Coaching
Supervisor Strategies, Leadership Power
Subject:
Subject:
Lessons
Non-verbal Communication: Physical & Voice, part 2
3. Proxemics is the physical/spacial relationship between people, and people and objects
such as office furniture. Power, collaboration and cooperation, opposition and other
relationships can be communicated by the positioning of people and objects. For example,
sitting facing one another at opposites sides of a table suggests a different relationship than
both sitting on the same side of the table. One person standing and the other sitting at his
desk communicates another relationship. The idea here is to be aware of these subtle
tactics and use them appropriately.
Opposing
Cooperating
Equal
Status
Unequal
Status
4. Haptics – a fancy word for touching by hand – is a friendly non-verbal communication
sign. Handshakes, a gentle pat on the shoulder, or grasp of the forearm are other examples
that add extra meaning to your words.
Even when you say nothing,
you’re saying something.
Stillness or movements of the
body and hands, silence or
sounds, posture and
positioning of people and
furniture contribute to sending
messages non-verbally.
Non-verbal coordinated with
verbal gives more power to
your Communication.
See part 3, next page
Busy Person
Subject:
Coaching
Supervisor Strategies, Leadership Power
Lessons
11
Non-verbal Communication: Physical & Voice, part 3
5. Eye contact is another important element.
In the KSA, maintaining eye contact while
talking can, at times, be a main factor of showing respect for the listener. When giving a
presentation, maintaining eye contact with the audience also contributes to your credibility.
6. Voice is a major factor in non-verbal communication.
The sound, speed, rhythm and
volume of your voice carries lots of weight when you use it effectively.
--- Eliminating “filler words” [um, ya know, ya’nee, shismo, and ah] as much as possible
strengthens your credibility and keeps distractions to a minimum.
-- Varying your speed and volume to emphasize important words or points also adds power
(and limits boredom).
7. Time ends our selected brief list of non-verbal elements.
How do you feel when you
are late for an appointment, or when others are late? Being on time, or early and late all
communicate an important characteristic about you – and, about your respect for others and
their needs/responsiblities/tasks.
Concluding Advice: As with any communication, knowing your Purpose is
first. From this, you can organize the contents of what you want to say
verbally. Then, you can prepare your non-verbal elements to add power to
your words. Purpose + Verbal + Non-verbal = Communication Power. An
ineffective approach is not to be clear about your purpose – because you end
up undercutting your points, because the agenda will be disorganized.
Also, remember that practicing (for example, taping your voice or using a
videocam) is necessary to monitor your voice quality, speed and clarity. This
may sound strange at first, but try it and you’ll be surprised at the improvements
you can make.
Finally, try smiling at appropriate times while speaking with others, making a
presentation or conducting a meeting. This simple tactic carries with it lots of
positive energy. It also communicates lots of positive attitude to others
regarding confidence about your issues and about yourself.
Subject:
12
Seven Steps to Persuade Your Boss
Busy Person
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You may have an idea and think it’s great. You might assume your boss thinks so too.
That’s a big mistake. To be successful in persuading your boss, you need to develop a
communication approach that not only satisfies your needs, but also the needs of the
organization and your boss.
Instead, think of persuading and influencing as a negotiation process. This is best
accomplished by answering the following two questions:
How will the organization benefit?
How will my boss benefit?
The following 7 steps will help you to persuade your boss about your great idea more effectively.
1)
Prepare for the discussion. Think about the objective, benefits, needs, possible
objections, timing of the discussion, acceptable alternatives and the order of the points
you will communicate [maybe a chart or graph might help].
2)
Present your ideas. Give both the pros and cons and be thorough.
3)
Ask for his input and reaction. Asking for feedback involves the boss in the process.
4)
Identify areas of agreement. Confirm areas where you and your boss agree and build on
those.
5)
Ask questions and listen carefully. Don’t argue. Instead, ask why he feels that way and
perhaps you can respond later after taking time to think more.
6)
Develop Alternatives. After identifying areas of agreement, clarify the reasons for the
differences. Then work to try and identify possible alternatives instead of outright
rejection.
7)
Determine Action Plan and Timeline. When your idea has been accepted, now is the
time to set your timeline of actions and due dates.
In this way, by using a negotiation process and persuading your boss, you’ll be on the way
to creating a partnership and a more effective relationship to get the job done.
Subject:
13
Covey’s 7 Habit Summary
Busy Person
Coaching
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7 Habits 13 years later
-- by Stephen Covery
In this timely update, the best-selling author - and USA WEEKEND contributing
editor - adapts his popular precepts for today's tech-savvy reader.
In my book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, I laid out what I believe are the seven basic principles of
effective living, based on such immutable qualities as responsibility, integrity, respect, mutual understanding,
patience and purpose. These principles are as true today as they were in 1989, when 7 Habits was published.
But technology has changed our world profoundly. Today we are under even more pressure in our professional
and personal lives than we were a decade ago. I attribute this in part to technology, because it often has served to
quicken the pace, and to separate us rather than bring us closer together.
Technology can be a great tool to help us become more effective - in our work and our relationships. Remember
this and you are already a step ahead: Technology is a good servant but a bad master.
Now for the seven habits, revisited here to reflect the new challenges of life in a technological world:
1. BE PROACTIVE. Ask yourself, "Are my actions based on self-chosen values or on my
moods, feelings and circumstances?"
We often feel we are victims of all the technology - e-mail, voice mail, pagers, faxes, cellular phones - that
bombards us each day. We become slaves to technology and feel we must respond immediately without regard
to the importance of the message.
Instead, the next time someone sends you e-mail or beeps you, consider how you can manage the technology in
your life. Not many of us have the power to decree that we will no longer read e-mail messages at work and that
everyone has to contact us by telephone or fax. But we can decide, for instance, that we will get our most
important and creative work accomplished in the first two hours of each workday, then review and reply to email messages later in the day. You also can let colleagues know you will not return their messages until a
certain time each day. At home, discourage calls from the office and focus on your loved ones.
2. BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND. Ask yourself, "What would I want written on my tombstone?
Have I written a personal mission statement that provides meaning, purpose and direction to
my life? Do my actions flow from my mission?"
Many people decide they want to have not only a personal mission statement, but a family mission statement as
well. Technology can help in formulating the statement by making it easier to communicate with relatives across
the country by using e-mail or faxes. Soliciting feedback through e-mail is a great way to keep in touch, too.
And families can use "instant messaging" to make communicating with one another quicker and easier.
3. PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST. Ask yourself, "Am I able to say no to the unimportant, no matter
how urgent, and yes to the important?"
Because the cell phone is ringing, and the e-mail subject field reads "URGENT," we feel compelled to stop
whatever we're doing to respond. But often these interruptions are not related to what we are trying to
accomplish, be it a work project or reviewing a child's homework.
Technology can help organize our lives by giving us the tools to quickly schedule and keep up with our
important commitments. For instance, hand-held electronic organizers make it possible to type in regular weekly
meetings just once, and an alarm goes off when it's time for appointments.
Subject:
14
Covey’s 7 Habits Summary, p. 2
Busy Person
Coaching
Lessons
Overusing technology tools can become addictive. Playing computer games constantly or surfing the Net all night can
result in burnout and difficulties with relationships. That's when it's wise to resist the lure of technology and begin to
say yes to what's important: Turn off the cell phone during family time; don't open the e-mail just because it's flashing.
4. THINK WIN-WIN. Ask yourself, "Do I seek mutual benefit in all of my relationships?"
Remember that technology makes communication more efficient - not necessarily more effective. To build a highquality relationship, it's important, if possible, to have face-to-face interaction first. Second best is talking by phone.
Then, afterward, quicker ways of communicating are fine - such as exchanging e-mails or leaving a voice-mail
message.
Technology can help us make "deposits," or cause us to make "withdrawals," in another person's "emotional bank
account." A deposit would be keeping a promise, being kind and courteous, clarifying expectations, making apologies,
being open to feedback and being loyal to those who are absent. If you are talking with someone on the telephone and
your call-waiting feature keeps beeping and you continually interrupt the other person to take calls, you are making a
withdrawal: You are saying the person you're talking with is not as important as the calls coming in.
On the other hand, sometimes leaving a detailed voice-mail message on your phone when you know you'll be out is a
deposit - it helps make callers' lives easier.
5. SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD. Ask yourself, "Do I avoid talking
initially about my concerns and instead express my understanding of the other person and his or
her point of view?"
To listen effectively, you must use the same tools of communication. Being technologically savvy is a requirement in
today's workplace. If we are uncomfortable with technology and insist that everyone adapt to our outdated ways of
doing things, we cut ourselves off from others. If we're techno-savvy, we should encourage others to learn.
Be adaptable, and realize that although technology has its limits, it is still possible to carry on a significant relationship
without being face to face. After my father died in 1980, I decided I would call my mother every day. She died in
1990, and I missed very few days. Our communication was so constant, and we understood each other so well, that it
made no difference whether we were talking by telephone or in person.
6. SYNERGIZE. Ask yourself, "Do I seek and value opinions, viewpoints and perspectives from
others to create solutions that are better than I would have created on my own?"
When people can't get together in person to solve a problem, Web videoconferencing and instant messaging allow
them to post messages back and forth and interact in real time. Also, families can develop and share creative ideas and
work through issues using Internet sites such as myfamily.com, which offers families their own private, secure forums
in which they can interact with one another, post events, share news and schedule appointments.
7. SHARPEN THE SAW. Ask yourself, "Am I continually improving the physical, mental, spiritual and
social dimensions of my life?"
Overusing technology often means losing touch with nature, so regularly make time to step away from the computer
and cell phone to take a walk in the woods. Keep learning by enrolling in courses on how to use the Internet, or learn a
new software program - even if you don't immediately need it for your job, it could one day help get you your next
job. Inspirational quotations can be sent via e-mail to friends. Humanitarian and non-profit Web sites allow you, with
just a click of the mouse, to nurture your own spirit by donating time, energy and resources.
Subject:
Covey Web addresses
15
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http://www.franklincovey.com/
http://www.franklincovey.com/ez/asector/
http://www.franklincovey.com/ez/download/
http://www.franklincovey.com/ez/library/
Busy Person
Coaching
Presentations: How to Answer Difficult Lessons
16
Subject:
Questions
(from sometimes difficult people), part 1
Suppose you just finished your presentation and everything went well.
Now it’s time for questions and . . . your answers. Or, during your
presentation, someone raises his hand and asks a question about your point,
or cannot understand your diagram, chart or slide. These, and other situations are
all part of the question-and-answer process that occurs during and after every
presentation.
Sometimes you can get stuck without a proper answer; sometimes the question is not
related to your topic; sometimes the person asking the question has another motive for
it (other than gaining new information [see part 2 for specific tips and tricks]).
What can you do?
Before even speaking, you must first consider 3 points:
(1)
When to take questions
(2)
How to take them
(3)
How to deal with difficult ones (from sometimes difficult people)
WHEN: You can take them before, during or after. Each has its own
advantages and disadvantages. If you take them during, the answers may
be more meaningful. However, you may lose precious time and
introduce information prematurely. If you take them afterward, you will
control the schedule and time, but you risk losing the audience’s
attention and interest. If you take questions before, this means that you
have already given your audience an outline or notes. Then, they have
submitted questions to you, so you will have their questions ahead of
time and can prepare your answers before you even enter the vonference
room. Unfortunately, this method loses some of the excitement and
energy of the spontaneous Q&A period.
HOW: There are 3 usual methods of taking questions. (1) orally, directly from
people; (2) written, collected and them read to the audience, and (3)
using both oral and written. The first method is most efficient, because it
saves time and offers more opportunity for feedback and eye contact.
The second method, writing during the presentation, works when the
audience is shy to speak, even though it is very time consuming. The
third method may be the best choice, by combining both to
accommodate all types of audiences.
go to next page, please
Busy Person
Presentations: How to Answer Difficult Coaching
Questions (from sometimes difficult people), part 2 Lessons
Subject:
17
HOW: Here are 5 key methods of how to deal with difficult questions and questioners.
The first 2 deal with people who are asking questions for purposes other than getting an
answer – for example, to hear themselves speak or try to catch the presenter in a mistake and
become the focus of attention.
2 KEY METHODS: When you encounter a difficult person asking a difficult question, you
can use Turn Back and Turn Outward.
Turn Back. Say: “How would you answer this question/issue/problem?” or “do you have
anything to say about this before I do?”
Turn Outward. Say: “How would all of you deal with this issue/question/problem?” (and
point to the entire group of people, making eye contact with everyone there).
An old professor of mine once advised:
“You don’t have to know every answer,
but when you don’t, you MUST know
where to find the answer.”
3 OTHER KEY METHODS: How many times has this happened to you? Someone asks
you a question when you are the presenter or meeting leader, and for some reason you just
can’t remember. It’s “right on the tip of your tongue,” but you can’t say it.
To find a little more time, to get your memory “jump started” a little, try these three methods.
Repeat. Say: “You’re wondering about the answer to (say the issue/question/problem).”
Repeating the words may give you some time to recall what is in your memory (“human hard
disk”) and to formulate your answer.
see next page please
Busy Person
Presentations: How to Answer Difficult Coaching
Questions (from sometimes difficult people), part 3 Lessons
Subject:
18
Reflect. You can say: “Thanks for that question. Let’s take a minute to think about this
issue/problem/question, and really understand it.” This may also give you some time to
recall the information that is just out of your reach at the very moment.
Copy. Simply write the question on a flip chart, whiteboard, chalkboard or transparency.
Then allow time for you and the audience to read it. This may give you time, if you have
forgotten the answer and need a little extra time to formulate your response.
WHEN YOU REALLY DON’T KNOW.
If you really do not know (as opposed to just forgetting for a minute), you can use my little
story about the professor on the previous page, and then ask: “Can I get that information to
you?” (and maybe take their e-mail). And, ask the entire audience if anyone else is
interested to know the information and get their contact information.
IMPORTANT GENERAL SUGGESTIONS.
• Don’t Understand? If you do not understand the question, ask the person to repeat it.
Or, try paraphrasing it and getting a positive response from the questioner. As a rule,
always make a effort to understand the question before you begin to answer.
• Off the Topic? When questions are off the topic, an effective response is “Can we take
that offline?” meaning that you will speak with that person privately after the presentation
or meeting, or during a break.
• Eye Contact? Yes, it’s very important. But look at everyone, not only the person asking.
Start with the questioner, then move to others in the room.
• Get To It Later? When someone asks a question about a topic that you’re going to cover
later in your presentation or meeting, let them know that their question is important and
that you’d like to wait until later to cover that topic. CAUTION: Do not use this method as
a stalling tactic (when really you are not going to cover that information later. You will
seriously damage your Credibility with the listeners).
CONCLUSION.
Finally, remember that the Q&A period is not designed to find out if you cannot answer
something. It is usually a polite part of the presentation or meeting that provides
opportunities for exchanging information for both the questioner and the one answering.
Subject:
19
Effective English: 7 guidelines for Native
Speakers in multi-lingual workplaces, part 1
Busy Person
Coaching
Lessons
Although English is widely and well spoken in the Middle East and Arabian Gulf
areas, people from the USA must realize that many citizens of this area and other
expatriates from Europe and Asia still are listening to English as a second
language.
As a result, there is plenty of opportunity for gaps in comprehension that could, for
example, cause major difficulties in negotiations, problem-solving and work
assignments in teams.
However, here are 7 guidelines to speak English more effectively.
1.
Avoid using sports terms that are not known outside the USA.
Examples: Monday-morning quarterbacking; Make sure to touch all the bases;
Playing hardball
2.
Using colloquial phrases specific to the USA will usually cause
confusion and ineffectiveness.
Examples: Run that by me again; You’ll fall flat on your face; Let’s crunch the
numbers; Don’t sweat it (this one may even offend someone); ya’all (common tag
phrase where I live in Florida and generally in the USA Southeast and Southwest).
3.
Slang should be avoided, because meanings are too restricted to one
culture.
Examples: Bingo (for exactly); Cut it out (for stop); that’s a date (to confirm an
appointment); go ahead (for continue) [note: I remember one incident when
teaching foreign students at Ohio University in the late 1970s. I was trying to
encourage a reader by saying “go ahead, go ahead” and he looked at me totally
confused and bewildered. Suddenly realizing my error I replied with a simple
“continue, please, you’re doing well.”]
4.
Speak clearly and try to lessen your regional accent if it is very
heavy.
Examples: “geet” for did you eat; “whatsamadder” for what is the matter;
“liddlbit” for a little bit; “lesgo” for let’s go.
5.
Be aware of alternate meanings of words.
[note: since many Gulf business people have learned English in the USA or the
UK, and since most secretaries from Asia have learned from the UK, problems in
the meaning of words can occur between the English and American language.]
Examples: “scheme” in the UK means a legitimate business project, while in the
USA its meaning is similar to a fraudulent deal.
see next page, please
20
Effective English: 7 guidelines for
Native Speakers in multi-lingual workplaces,
part 2
6.
Busy Person
Coaching
Lessons
Avoid using too many metaphors or verbal images, complex analogies
and elaborate examples to explain points, concepts or ideas.
[note: Unless the co-worker or customer is extremely fluent and has lived in the USA
for a long time, avoid these methods. Instead, explain your point directly and keep to
the subject using the objects, words and issues that are at hand. Otherwise, you may
receive a blank stare from the listener.]
Example: We’ll have to wade through these figures; We’re drowning; We’re up to our
necks in IOUs; Run that by me again; You’re making a mountain out of a mole hill.
7.
Restrict words to their most common meanings and understandings.
[note: Be cautious in your choices of words. Use what I call the “internal thesaurus”
to mentally scan the list of possible words that are correct for your situation, then
choose the ONE that will be most clearly understood.]
Examples: Use wise, rather than sagacious; “right” has 27 different shades of
meaning, while “accurate” has only 1. (If you were thinking of “correct” then it’s
necessary to distinguish between the verb and adjective forms and 5 different
meanings.
Conclusion: By keeping these 7 guidelines in mind, you will be on your way to
more effective communication with your Gulf co-workers and customers in the multilingual workplace. Most importantly, your language skills will not only raise your
level of effectiveness, but also your level of credibility and competence. In effect, you
will be “getting the job done” better and perhaps avoiding a “real headache” in the
future.