Lecture 12

Nonverbal Communication: Silence & Listening and Communicating with Non-native English speakers

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Overview of Silence

 People in every culture “experience” silence in some form or another.

 However, people’s attitudes toward silence in each social and cultural group can be dramatically different.  For example, many cultures of the world expect more silence from women and children than from adult men.

 Silence can have a positive or negative impact on the communication process.

 It can provide a peaceful situation by signaling agreement or create tension and uneasiness.

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Causing Silence

 People cause others to be silent…        to gain attention to maintain control to protect to teach to attempt to eliminate distractions to show respect for authority or tradition to point to something greater than ourselves or our groups.

 Silence can be used as the language of super iority and inferiority, affecting such relation ships as teacher-follower, male-female, and expert-client.

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Causing Silence

(con’t)

 Silencing someone can have both positive and negative effects.  In some situations, silence is demanded by others and by those who must themselves be quiet.

 Often a sign of respect for the wisdom of others.  The elderly persons in a family of many Eastern culture groups expect silence from the children and from less authoritative family members as a sign of respect.

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Zones of Silence

 Zones of silence, or places where outside noise is controlled, are sometimes created as a way to make people silent.  library  museum  concert hall  funeral home  And at certain times in…  court room  large lecture hall

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European and North American

 Northern European and North American societies are involved in linear progression.

 Even small amounts of silence are filled with action and doing.  In these cultures, silence is seen as dark, negative and full of “no things,” all of which are not good.

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Silence in East Asia

 Other cultural groups, such as those in East Asia, favor long silences.  Silence is created more frequently than do those from some Western cultures.  Often interrupt actions with long and deep silence.  A famous Chinese philosopher, Lao Tsu, once said “To talk little is natural.”

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Silence in East Asia

(con’t)

 Many women in Eastern cultures view their silent roles as very powerful.  Some women see their silent roles as natural and cannot imagine speaking out unless something very bad is done to them personally.  Shows the power of control in silence.  Often not recognized or understood by those who value speech-as-power and by those who value assertiveness by all, equally and democratically.

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Effective Reception

 The key to effective reception of messages is effective listening.

 Listening is a skill that can be learned to enhance clarity in message exchange.

 We spend 50% more time listening than we do talking.

 Better listening skills develop better speaking skills because of awareness.

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Ineffective Listening

 Without listening to details and context, important information can be left out.

 Conflicts then arise.

 Overlooked information inhibits solutions and results in lost business time and revenue.

 Personal relationships will deteriorate.

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Active Listening Guidelines

 Stop talking  Have a reason for listening  Create a supportive climate  Make eye contact  It is the number one priority. It lets the other person know you are paying attention.

 Use head body language such as nodding.

 Try not to translate what is being said into what you want to hear: self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Active Listening Guidelines

(con’t)

 Aim your body orientation, move responsively  Pay attention to and actively search for meaning in nonverbal cues  Seek information and ask questions  Suspend judgment  Use attentive silence and play to it   Rate of thought Rate of speech 400-500 wpm 100-150 wpm  Resist distractions  Respond to content & feelings

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Active Listening Guidelines

(con’t) 13

 Focus on themes  Paraphrase to assure clarity  Give responsive sounds or paralanguage feedback.

 Sounds or murmurs to allow the speaker to know you are following his train of thought  right, OK, uh-huh, yeah  Give effective feedback  Be specific, descriptive, timely, relevant  Pay attention to possible gender differences  Ask questions!

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Asking Questions



Don’t use

Closed Questions



Is, Do, Has, Can, Will, Why



These are questions that only require a “yes” or “no” answer.



Use

Open Questions



Where, When, How, What, Who, Which

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Effective Listening

 Real communication occurs when we listen while understanding the other person’s point of view.

 Test yourself with a series of questions such as “what did I learn from the other person?” or “who did more talking and listening?”  Evaluate your answers and decide how to improve your communication next time.

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Effective Listening (con’t)

 Effective listening is not for everyone.

 To deal with the non-effective listener, clarify what you want to say prior to speaking.

 If your ideas are clear, the listener is more likely to be receptive.  Before meeting, give the to-be-listener an idea of what you want to discuss.

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Communication through Eyes

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 Nonverbal communication is always revealed through the eyes.

 Normal eye contact means communication is open.

 Looking down indicates rejection.

 Avoiding eye contact suggests that the person is not comfortable with the conversation’s topic or the other person.

 Stares can indicate dislike.

 A person may be sincere if the eyes move upward when discussing stories about the past. Eyes move upward to retrieve information.

 However, if the eyes move side to side when recalling information, the person is likely to be lying.

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What Do I Do If They Do Not Speak My Language?

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Verbal behavior 

Clear, slow speech

. Enunciate each word. Do not use colloquial expressions.



Repetition

. Repeat each important idea using different words to explain the same concept.



Simple sentences

. Avoid compound, long sentences.



Active verbs

. Avoid passive verbs.

Nonverbal behavior 

Visual restatements

. Use as many visual restatements as possible, such as pictures, graphs, tables, and slides.



Gestures.

Use more facial and hand gestures to emphasize the meaning of words.



Demonstration

. Act out as many themes as possible.



Pauses

. Pause more frequently.



Summaries.

presentation.

Hand out summaries of your verbal

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What Do I Do If They Do Not Speak My Language?

(con’t) 19

Attribution 

Silence.

When there is silence, wait. Do not jump in to fill the silence. The other person is probably just thinking more slowly in the non-native language or translating.



Intelligence.

Do not equate poor grammar and mispronunciation with lack of intelligence; it is usually a sign of second-language use.



Differences.

If unsure, assume difference, not similarity.

Comprehension 

Understanding.

Do not just assume that they understand; assume that they do not understand.



Checking comprehension.

Have the other person repeat their understanding of the material back to you. Do not simply ask if they understand or not. Let them explain what they understand to you.

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What Do I Do If They Do Not Speak My Language?

(con’t)

Design 

Breaks.

Take more frequent breaks. Second-language comprehension is exhausting.



Small modules.

Divide the material into smaller modules.



Longer time frame.

Allocate more time for each module than usual in a monolingual program.

Motivation 

Encouragement.

and reinforce speaking by nonnative language participants.

Verbally and nonverbally encourage 

Drawing out.

participants.

Explicitly draw out marginal and passive 

Reinforcement.

Do not embarrass novice speakers.

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