Transcript RAISING A MODERN DAY KNIGHT A FATHER’S ROLE IN GUIDING HIS SON TO AUTHENTIC MANHOOD AN ADULT CHRISTIAN EDUCATION CLASS TAUGHT BY BOB &

RAISING A MODERN DAY
KNIGHT
A FATHER’S ROLE IN GUIDING HIS SON TO AUTHENTIC
MANHOOD
AN ADULT CHRISTIAN EDUCATION CLASS TAUGHT BY BOB & DAN
THOMSON AT BEVERLEY HEIGHTS PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH BASED
ON THE BOOK BY ROBERT LEWIS
APRIL-MAY 2012
Raising A Modern Day
Knight
WEEK ONE
GRANDCHILDREN ARE THE CROWN OF OLD
MEN, AND THE GLORY OF SONS IS THEIR
FATHERS. Proverbs 17:6
Where are we falling short?
• Failure to deliver our sons a clear, inspiring,
biblically grounded definition of manhood
• Lack of a directional process that calls our
sons to embrace the manhood they should
be able to define
• Loss of ceremony
Medieval Knighthood
• Embodied a well-defined set of ideals, a
moral code of honor
• A well-defined process: page, squire,
knighthood
• Ceremonies
Actual things we have learned from
our sons and grandsons
• Baby birds do not live long in a boy’s pocket, especially after they have
been through the washing machine
• BBs can fit under eyelids
• Beans can get stuck in noses
• Thrown bowling balls will make a dent in the wall
• Three year olds can climb trees, and fall out of them
• If you shoot off a cap gun really close to your ear, it results in a neat
ringing noise
• A five year old really can turn off your hot water heater
• If you hear giggling coming from the bathroom, that is not a good sign
More Things We Learned From Our
Sons and Grandsons
• If the water spurts coming out of the faucet, check to see if one of the
boys turned off the water to the house
• If you hear, “Watch this!” run fast, very fast
• If you hear, “I just did it. It doesn’t hurt that much.” investigate
immediately
• Somersaulting down stairs really does hurt
• Legos do not agree with garbage disposals
• Lots of Matchbox cars can fit down a toilet
• Do not leave a boy and a permanent marker alone in the same room
• Do not chase a boy holding something of value. He will throw it, and it
will break
• You actually need to explain to sons that they shouldn’t pee on someone
else
ONE OF THE SCARIEST ASPECTS OF RAISING BOYS IS THEIR
TENDENCY TO RISK LIFE AND LIMB FOR NO GOOD REASON. IT
BEGINS VERY EARLY. IF A TODDLER CAN CLIMB IT, HE WILL
JUMP OFF IT. HE CAREENS OUT OF CONTROL TOWARD TABLES,
TUBS, POOLS, STEPS, TREES AND STREETS. HE WILL EAT
ANYTHING AND LOVES TO PLAY IN THE TOILET. HE MAKES
GUNS OUT OF CUCUMBERS OR TOOTHBRUSHES AND LIKES
DIGGING AROUND DRAWERS, PILL BOTTLES, AND MOM’S
PURSE. AS HE GETS OLDER, HE IS DRAWN TO EVERYTHING
DANGEROUS. James Dobson, Bringing Up Boys
“FEMALES TEND TO THINK HARD ABOUT WHETHER
OR NOT THEY CAN GET HURT, AND THEY ARE LESS
LIKELY TO PLUNGE AHEAD IF THERE IS ANY POTENTIAL
FOR INJURY. BOYS, HOWEVER, WILL TAKE A CHANCE IF
THEY THINK THE DANGER IS WORTH THE RISK.
IMPRESSING FRIENDS (AND EVENTUALLY GIRLS) IS
USUALLY CONSIDERED WORTH THE RISK.” Barbara
Morrongiello, Psychologist
“PARENTS CANNOT AS THEY ONCE DID, RELY
ON THE CULTURE TO REINFORCE HOME
VALUES. IN FACT, THEY CAN EXPECT THAT
MANY OF THE CULTURAL FORCES INFLUENCING
THEIR CHILDREN WILL BE ACTIVELY
UNDERMINING THOSE VALUES.” William
Kilpatrick, Why Johnny Can’t Tell Right From
Wrong
WHAT IS A MAN?
Is he someone who is strong and tall,
Or is taut and talented as he plays ball?
Is he someone who is hardened and rough,
Who smokes and drinks and swears enough?
Is he someone who chases women hard,
With a quest to conquer, but never dropping his guard?
Is he someone with a good business mind,
Who gets ahead of the others with his nose to the grind?
Or is he someone who tries his best, not really caring about any of the rest?
What is a man? Does anyone really know?
Who is the prototype? To whom should I go?
A VISION FOR MANHOOD
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A REAL MAN REJECTS PASSIVITY
A REAL MAN ACCEPTS RESPONSIBILITY
A REAL MAN LEADS COURAGEOUSLY
A REAL MAN EXPECTS THE GREATER REWARD
THE TWO ADAMS
• WHEN THE WOMAN SAW THAT THE TREE WAS GOOD FOR FOOD, AND
THAT IT WAS A DELIGHT TO THE EYES, AND THAT THE TREE WAS
DESIRABLE TO MAKE ONE WISE, SHE TOOK FROM ITS FRUIT AND ATE;
AND SHE GAVE ALSO TO HER HUSBAND WITH HER, AND HE ATE. Genesis
3:6
• HAVE THIS ATTITUDE IN YOURSELVES WHICH WAS ALSO IN CHRIST JESUS,
WHO, ALTHOUGH HE EXISTED IN THE FORM OF GOD, DID NOT REGARD
EQUALITY WITH GOD A THING TO BE GRASPED, BUT EMPTIED HIMSELF,
TAKING THE FORM OF A BOND-SERVANT, AND BEING MADE IN THE
LIKENESS OF MEN. BEING FOUND IN APPEARANCE AS A MAN, HE
HUMBLED HIMSELF BY BECOMING OBEDIENT TO THE POINT OF DEATH,
EVEN DEATH ON A CROSS. Philippians 2:5-8
A REAL MAN ACCEPTS
RESPONSIBILITY
• A WILL TO OBEY (GOD’S WILL AS REVEALED
IN THE BIBLE)
• A WORK TO DO (NOT JUST IN THE WORK OF
HIS JOB, BUT ALSO THE WORK IN HIS HOME,
CHURCH AND COMMUNITY)
• A WOMAN TO LOVE (FIRST HIS MOTHER;
LATER HIS WIFE)
THE GREATER REWARD
I CAME THAT THEY MIGHT HAVE LIFE, AND MIGHT HAVE IT ABUNDANTLY.
John 10:10
GODLINESS ACTUALLY IS A MEANS OF GREAT GAIN. I Timothy 6:6
LET US RUN WITH ENDURANCE THE RACE THAT IS SET BEFORE US, FIXING
OUR EYES ON JESUS, THE AUTHOR AND PERFECTER OF FAITH, WHO FOR THE
JOY SET BEFORE HIM ENDURED THE CROSS, AND HAS SAT DOWN AT THE
RIGHT HAND OF THE THRONE OF GOD. Hebrews 12:1-2
BUT JUST AS IT IS WRITTEN, “THINGS WHICH EYE HAS NOT SEEN AND EAR
HAS NOT HEARD, AND WHICH HAVE NOT ENTERED THE HEART OF MAN, ALL
THAT GOD HAS PREPARED FOR THOSE WHO LOVE HIM.” I Corinthians 2:9
SO JESUS WAS SAYING TO THOSE JEWS WHO
BELIEVED ON HIM, “IF YOU CONTINUE IN MY
WORD, THEN YOU ARE TRULY DISCIPLES OF
MINE; AND YOU WILL KNOW THE TRUTH, AND
THE TRUTH WILL MAKE YOU FREE.” John 8:3132
Raising A Modern Day
Knight
WEEK TWO
Medieval Knighthood
• Embodied a well-defined set of ideals, a
moral code of honor
• A well-defined process: page, squire,
knighthood
• Ceremonies
More Lessons From Boys
• IF YOU HOOK A DOG LEASH OVER A CEILING FAN, THE
MOTOR IS NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO ROTATE A 42 POUND
BOY WEARING BATMAN UNDERWEAR AND A SUPERMAN
CAPE
• A CEILING FAN CAN HIT A BASEBALL A LONG WAY
• ALWAYS LOOK IN THE OVEN BEFORE TURNING IT ON
• THE SPIN CYCLE ON THE WASHING MACHINE HAS NO EFFECT
ON EARTHWORMS
• IT WILL, HOWEVER, MAKE A CAT DIZZY
• A CAT WILL THROW UP TWICE ITS BODY WEIGHT WHEN IT IS
DIZZY
A VISION FOR MANHOOD
•
•
•
•
A REAL MAN REJECTS PASSIVITY
A REAL MAN ACCEPTS RESPONSIBILITY
A REAL MAN LEADS COURAGEOUSLY
A REAL MAN EXPECTS THE GREATER REWARD
A REAL MAN ACCEPTS
RESPONSIBILITY
• A WILL TO OBEY (GOD’S WILL AS REVEALED
IN THE BIBLE)
• A WORK TO DO (NOT JUST IN THE WORK OF
HIS JOB, BUT ALSO THE WORK IN HIS HOME,
CHURCH AND COMMUNITY)
• A WOMAN TO LOVE (FIRST HIS MOTHER;
LATER HIS WIFE)
MY FOOD IS TO DO THE WILL OF HIM WHO SENT ME. John 4:34
“MEN ASSUME SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY MOST NATURALLY AND
EFFECTIVELY WHEN (1) IT IS CLEAR TO THEM THAT THE
PRIMARY RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE WELL-BEING OF OTHERS
RESTS ON THEM, AND (2) WHEN THEY HAVE BEEN TRAINED
FROM AN EARLY AGE BY THE MEN IN THEIR LIVES TO
RECOGNIZE AND ASSUME THAT RESPONSIBILITY FAITHFULLY.”
Stephan Clark, Man and Woman in Christ
SO JESUS WAS SAYING TO THOSE JEWS WHO
BELIEVED ON HIM, “IF YOU CONTINUE IN MY
WORD, THEN YOU ARE TRULY DISCIPLES OF
MINE; AND YOU WILL KNOW THE TRUTH, AND
THE TRUTH WILL MAKE YOU FREE.” John 8:3132
MORAL BOUNDARIES
“LIFE IS INHERENTLY MORAL. THERE IS A DIVINE WILL TO OBEY. EVERY SON
NEEDS TO KNOW THAT THERE IS AN ALL-POWERFUL, ALL-SEEING, HOLY GOD
WHO REWARDS GOOD AND PUNISHES EVIL. HE MUST BE TAUGHT THAT
ABSOLUTE VALUES EXIST; THAT THE COMMANDMENTS OF GOD ARE
LIBERATING, NOT RESTRICTIVE. EVERY YOUNG MAN NEEDS A
COMPREHENSIVE VIEW OF LIFE THAT BEGINS WITH THIS FUNDAMENTAL
PROPOSITION: TRUE SATISFACTION IN LIFE IS DIRECTLY PROPORTIONATE TO
ONE’S OBEDIENCE TO GOD. IN THIS CONTEXT, MORAL BOUNDARIES TAKE
ON A WHOLE NEW PERSPECTIVE; THEY BECOME BENEFITS, NOT BURDENS.”
Robert Lewis
KEYS TO EFFECTIVE TRAINING
• A FATHER MUST SET A GODLY EXAMPLE
• A FATHER MUST TEACH SPIRITUAL TRUTH. “THESE WORDS
WHICH I AM COMMANDING YOU TODAY, SHALL BE ON YOUR
HEART. YOU SHALL TEACH THEM DILIGENTLY TO YOUR SONS
AND SHALL TALK OF THEM WHEN YOU SIT IN YOUR HOUSE
AND WHEN YOU WALK BY THE WAY AND WHEN YOU LIE
DOWN AND WHEN YOU RISE UP.” Deuteronomy 6:6-7
• A FATHER SHARES STORIES
• A FATHER REINFORCES THE WILL TO OBEY THROUGH
AFFIRMATION, ATTENTION, AND DISCIPLINE
Raising A Modern Day
Knight
WEEK THREE
A VISION FOR MANHOOD
•
•
•
•
A REAL MAN REJECTS PASSIVITY
A REAL MAN ACCEPTS RESPONSIBILITY
A REAL MAN LEADS COURAGEOUSLY
A REAL MAN EXPECTS THE GREATER REWARD
A REAL MAN ACCEPTS
RESPONSIBILITY
• A WILL TO OBEY (GOD’S WILL AS REVEALED
IN THE BIBLE)
• A WORK TO DO (NOT JUST IN THE WORK OF
HIS JOB, BUT ALSO THE WORK IN HIS HOME,
CHURCH AND COMMUNITY)
• A WOMAN TO LOVE (FIRST HIS MOTHER;
LATER HIS WIFE)
MORAL BOUNDARIES
“LIFE IS INHERENTLY MORAL. THERE IS A DIVINE WILL TO OBEY. EVERY SON
NEEDS TO KNOW THAT THERE IS AN ALL-POWERFUL, ALL-SEEING, HOLY GOD
WHO REWARDS GOOD AND PUNISHES EVIL. HE MUST BE TAUGHT THAT
ABSOLUTE VALUES EXIST; THAT THE COMMANDMENTS OF GOD ARE
LIBERATING, NOT RESTRICTIVE. EVERY YOUNG MAN NEEDS A
COMPREHENSIVE VIEW OF LIFE THAT BEGINS WITH THIS FUNDAMENTAL
PROPOSITION: TRUE SATISFACTION IN LIFE IS DIRECTLY PROPORTIONATE TO
ONE’S OBEDIENCE TO GOD. IN THIS CONTEXT, MORAL BOUNDARIES TAKE
ON A WHOLE NEW PERSPECTIVE; THEY BECOME BENEFITS, NOT BURDENS.”
Robert Lewis
KEYS TO EFFECTIVE TRAINING
• A FATHER MUST SET A GODLY EXAMPLE
• A FATHER MUST TEACH SPIRITUAL TRUTH. “THESE WORDS
WHICH I AM COMMANDING YOU TODAY, SHALL BE ON YOUR
HEART. YOU SHALL TEACH THEM DILIGENTLY TO YOUR SONS
AND SHALL TALK OF THEM WHEN YOU SIT IN YOUR HOUSE
AND WHEN YOU WALK BY THE WAY AND WHEN YOU LIE
DOWN AND WHEN YOU RISE UP.” Deuteronomy 6:6-7
• A FATHER SHARES STORIES
• A FATHER REINFORCES THE WILL TO OBEY THROUGH
AFFIRMATION, ATTENTION, AND DISCIPLINE
Discipline
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•
CALM
CLEAR
CONSISTENT
COINCIDENTAL
CORRELATIONAL
CONFIRMING
CORRECTIVE
A WORK TO DO
TRAIN UP A CHILD IN THE WAY HE SHOULD GO, EVEN WHEN HE IS OLD HE
WILL NOT DEPART FROM IT. Proverbs 22:6
“ THE PHRASE ‘IN THE WAY HE SHOULD GO’ DOES NOT REFER TO SOME
PRESCRIBED PATH THAT EVERY PERSON SHOULD FOLLOW. IN THE HEBREW
LANGUAGE, THE PHRASE IS BETTER RENDERED, ‘ACCORDING TO HIS WAY’.
AND THE HEBREW WORD FOR ‘WAY’ IS DEREK, WHICH LITERALLY MEANS
‘BENT’ AND REFERS TO A UNIQUE INNER DESIGN OR DIRECTION.”
LIFE IS MORE THAN A JOB. SONS NEED TO HEAR THIS FROM A DAD, THEN
SEE IT IN HIS LIFE. NOTHING SATISFIES THE HUMAN HEART AS FULLY AS
SERVICE FOR THE KINGDOM IN ONE’S AREA OF GIFTEDNESS.
“A MAN IN HIS ROLE AS FATHER DELIVERS A BASIC
PHILOSOPHICAL MESSAGE.” Lewis Yablonsky, Fathers
and Sons
FATHERS AND MOTHERS HAVE LOST THE IDEA THAT
THE HIGHEST ASPIRATION THEY MIGHT HAVE FOR
THEIR CHILDREN IS FOR THEM TO BE WISE—AS
PRIESTS, PROPHETS OR PHILOSOPHERS ARE WISE.
SPECIALIZED COMPETENCE AND SUCCESS ARE ALL
THAT THEY CAN IMAGINE.” Allan Bloom, The Closing of
the American Mind
My Dad on Work
• SACRIFICE FOR YOUR FAMILY
• MONEY ISN’T EVERYTHING (NOT EVEN IN TOP 10)
• WHEN YOU BREAK YOUR LEG, PUT IT IN YOUR BACK POCKET, AND KEEP
ON GOING
• YOUR WORD IS YOUR BOND
• SUNDAY IS THE LORD’S DAY
• ANY JOB WORTH DOING IS WORTH DOING RIGHT
• THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT
• TREAT YOUR EMPLOYEES FAIRLY
• DO THE JOB UNTIL IT IS DONE
Raising A Modern Day
Knight
WEEK four
A Woman to Love
HUSBANDS, LOVE YOUR WIVES, JUST AS CHRIST ALSO LOVED THE
CHURCH AND GAVE HIMSELF UP FOR HER, SO THAT HE MIGHT
SANCTIFY HER, HAVING CLEANSED HER WITH THE WASHING OF
WATER WITH THE WORD, THAT HE MIGHT PRESENT TO HIMSELF THE
CHURCH IN ALL HER GLORY, HAVING NO SPOT OR WRINKLE OR ANY
SUCH THING; BUT THAT SHE WOULD BE HOLY AND BLAMELESS. SO
HUSBANDS OUGHT ALSO TO LOVE THEIR OWN WIVES AS THEIR OWN
BODIES. HE WHO LOVES HIS OWN WIFE LOVES HIMSELF; FOR NO
ONE EVER HATED HIS OWN FLESH, BUT NOURISHES AND CHERISHES
IT, JUST AS CHRIST ALSO DOES THE CHURCH, BECAUSE WE ARE
MEMBERS OF HIS BODY.
Ephesians 5:25-30
MEN ARE CALLED BY GOD TO LOVE, LEAD, AND HONOR THEIR WIVES.
Dobson on Teaching About Girls
• LOVE, HONOR AND RESPECT YOUR WIFE
• DON’T SPEAK DISPARAGINGLY ABOUT WOMEN, OR REFER
TO THEM AS SEX OBJECTS
• TELL YOUR SON HE SHOULD NEVER HIT A GIRL. NOT ONLY
SHOULD HE NOT HURT HER, HE SHOULD PROTECT HER.
• OPEN DOORS, PAY FOR THE DATE, SHOW RESPECT
• REMIND YOUR SON OF THE BIBLICAL TEACHING ABOUT
IMMORALITY (ABSTINENCE BEFORE MARRIAGE)
• MARRIAGE IS FOREVER
“THE ONLY WAY FOR A MAN AND A WOMAN TO SHARE A
COMMON PERSPECTIVE ON THEIR CHILDREN IS TO ACT
PRIMARILY AS HUSBAND AND WIFE. THAT MEANS THAT THEY
ARE IN A STRONGER, MORE ACTIVE RELATIONSHIP WITH ONE
ANOTHER THAN THEY ARE WITH THEIR KIDS. BEING ON THE
SAME PAGE CONCERNING THEIR KIDS FLOWS NATURALLY
FROM THE FACT THAT THEIR FIRST OBLIGATION, THEIR FIRST
COMMITMENT, IS TO ONE ANOTHER. ONE FLESH, ONE MIND.”
--John Rosemond, “Living With Children”
Your Mind Matters
FINALLY, BROTHERS, WHATEVER IS TRUE, WHATEVER IS
HONORABLE, WHATEVER IS JUST, WHATEVER IS PURE,
WHATEVER IS LOVELY, WHATEVER IS COMMENDABLE, IF THERE
IS ANY EXCELLENCE, IF THERE IS ANYTHING WORTHY OF
PRAISE, THINK ABOUT THESE THINGS.
Philippians 4:8
A Transcendent Cause
• NOT SOMETHING WE DO IN ADDITION TO EVERTHING ELSE;
BUT WHAT MOTIVATES EVERYTHING WE DO
• MUST BE TRULY HEROIC; A NOBLE ENDEAVOR CALLING FOR
BRAVERY AND SACRIFICE
• MUST BE TIMELESS; CONTAINING SIGNIFICANCE BEYOND
THE MOMENT
• MUST BE SUPREMELY MEANINGFUL
Jesus Is Our Transcendent Cause
• JESUS CHRIST IS TRULY HEROIC. “For whoever wishes to save
his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake, he
is the one who will save it.” Luke 9:24
• JESUS CHRIST IS TIMELESS. “Jesus Christ is the same
yesterday and today and forever.” Hebrews 13:8
• JESUS CHRIST IS SUPREMELY MEANINGFUL. “Jesus said to
him, ‘I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes
to the Father but through me.’” John 14:6
“THE OUTCOME IS THE SYNDROME OF THE MAN WHO HAS ARRIVED AND
DISCOVERED THAT HE IS NOWHERE. HE HAS ACHIEVED HIS GOALS AND
FINDS THEY ARE NOT WHAT HE ANTICIPATED. HE SUFFERS THE
DISILLUSIONMENTS OF PROMISES THAT PETERED OUT. HE HAS ALL THE
THINGS MONEY CAN BUY AND FINDS DECREASING SATISFACTION IN ALL HE
HAS. HE’S THE MAN WHO HAS BECOME A WHALE OF A SUCCESS
DOWNTOWN AND A PATHETIC FAILURE AT HOME. HE’S THE BIG SHOT WITH
THE BOYS AT THE OFFICE AND A BIG PHONEY WITH THE BOYS AT HOME.
‘DESTINATION SICKNESS’: THE ILLNESS PECULIAR TO A CULTURE THAT IS
AFFLUENT AND GODLESS.” Richard Halverson, A Day at a Time
“WHEN WE TEACH CHILDREN TO CONCERN THEMSELVES FIRST
AND FORMOST WITH THEIR OWN SENSE OF SELF, WE NOT
ONLY ENCOURAGE SELF-CENTEREDNESS BUT ALSO FAIL TO
PRESENT A MORE INSPIRING AND DEVELOPMENTALLY
CONSTRUCTIVE ALTERNATIVE THAT THEY SHOULD CONCERN
THEMSELVES WITH THINGS BEYOND THE SELF AND ABOVE THE
SELF. WE FAIL, THAT IS, TO CONVEY TO THEM A SENSE THAT
THERE ARE OTHER IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE BEYOND THEIR
OWN INDIVIDUAL CIRCUMSTANCES AND FEELINGS.”
William Damon, Greater Expectations
Tips for Teaching the Transcendent
Cause
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SHARE YOUR FAITH WITH YOUR SON
DO A BIBLE STUDY WITH YOUR SON
PRAY WITH YOUR SON
PARTICIPATE IN YOUR SON’S CONFIRMATION OR BAPTISM
SHARE WHAT YOU ARE LEARNING FROM THE BIBLE
LET YOUR SON SEE YOU USING YOUR GIFTS TO FURTHER THE
KINGDOM OF GOD
Raising A Modern Day
Knight
WEEK five
Where are we falling short?
• Failure to deliver our sons a clear, inspiring,
biblically grounded definition of manhood
• Lack of a directional process that calls our
sons to embrace the manhood they should
be able to define
• Loss of ceremony
A VISION FOR MANHOOD
•
•
•
•
A REAL MAN REJECTS PASSIVITY
A REAL MAN ACCEPTS RESPONSIBILITY
A REAL MAN LEADS COURAGEOUSLY
A REAL MAN EXPECTS THE GREATER REWARD
A REAL MAN ACCEPTS
RESPONSIBILITY
• A WILL TO OBEY (GOD’S WILL AS REVEALED
IN THE BIBLE)
• A WORK TO DO (NOT JUST IN THE WORK OF
HIS JOB, BUT ALSO THE WORK IN HIS HOME,
CHURCH AND COMMUNITY)
• A WOMAN TO LOVE (FIRST HIS MOTHER;
LATER HIS WIFE)
Medieval Knighthood
• Embodied a well-defined set of ideals, a
moral code of honor
• A well-defined process: page, squire,
knighthood
• Ceremonies
A Night to Remember
• DINNER AT HOME WITH 4 OTHER ADULT MEN
• MESSAGES-Identified son’s positive qualities
-The importance of attitude
-7 characteristics of real men from Joshua
-Biblical admonition to lead
• DAD GAVE SON A WRITTEN BLESSING HE HAD COMPOSED
• GROUP PRAYER
• CERTIFICATE OF INITIATION
Surprise in the Woods
• CONFERENCE CENTER RELAY WALK
• MESSAGES-Passages on manhood from I&II Timothy
-Choices he would face as a man
-Characteristics of manhood
• DINNER WITH 7 OTHER ADULT MEN
• CIRCLE SHARING OF SON’S POSITIVE QUALITIES
• GAVE DOBSON BOOK SIGNED BY ALL MEN
• PLAQUE IN RECOGNITION OF INITIATION INTO MANHOOD
A Powerful Gift
• HUNTING CAMP WITH 5 OTHER ADULT MEN
• MESSAGES-Each shared his own experience about some
aspect of manhood
• PLAQUE WITH LIST OF MANHOOD VALUES
• NEW SHOTGUN-Like manhood, it is a powerful weapon that
can be used for great good or cause great destruction
• LAID HANDS ON SON AND PRAYED
Lights on the River
• CAMP IN WOODS WITH 5 OTHER ADULT MEN
• “DO YOU WANT TO BECOME A MAN? FLASHLIGHT RELAY
• MESSAGES-Overcoming fear
-Perseverance
-Successful relationships
-Maturity
• BLINDFOLDED WITH BRICKS IN KNAPSACK
• “FOLLOW THE LIGHT AND OBEY THE WORD”
• DINNER
• MEN SIGNED SON’S BIBLE
Welcome to Manhood
• 16 MEN WROTE LETTERS TO SON WHICH DAD PUT IN ALBUM
• 16 DAILY GIFTS AT DINNER LEADING UP TO 16TH BIRTHDAY
-Study Bible
-Compass
-Work gloves
-Pocketknife
-Flashlight
-Journal
• DINNER AT SON’S CHOICE OF RESTAURANT
Good Ceremony
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ELEMENT OF SURPRISE
INTENSELY SPIRITUAL
INCORPORATES SYMBOLS
BLESSING FROM DAD
OTHER MEN
ONE OF THE SCARIEST ASPECTS OF RAISING BOYS IS THEIR
TENDENCY TO RISK LIFE AND LIMB FOR NO GOOD REASON. IT
BEGINS VERY EARLY. IF A TODDLER CAN CLIMB IT, HE WILL
JUMP OFF IT. HE CAREENS OUT OF CONTROL TOWARD TABLES,
TUBS, POOLS, STEPS, TREES AND STREETS. HE WILL EAT
ANYTHING AND LOVES TO PLAY IN THE TOILET. HE MAKES
GUNS OUT OF CUCUMBERS OR TOOTHBRUSHES AND LIKES
DIGGING AROUND DRAWERS, PILL BOTTLES, AND MOM’S
PURSE. AS HE GETS OLDER, HE IS DRAWN TO EVERYTHING
DANGEROUS. James Dobson, Bringing Up Boys
Why You Should Not Protect Your Son
From All Risk
• LOVE REQUIRES FREEDOM
• OVERLY DEPENDENT CHILDREN WILL NEVER BE
READY FOR RELEASE
• RISK BUILDS CHARACTER
• PART OF THE LEARNING PROCESS IS SUFFERING THE
CONSEQUENCES OF FAILURE
• PARENTS NEED FREEDOM AS MUCH AS CHILDREN
Why Some Can’t Let Go or Are Overly
Protective
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FEAR THEIR KIDS WON’T BE THE BEST
FEAR THEY WILL BE CALLED BAD PARENTS
FEAR THE CHILD WILL NOT BE SAFE OR WILL GET HURT
FEAR THE CHILD WON’T NEED THEM ANYMORE
THEIR WHOLE LIVES ARE TIED UP IN THE CHILD
IT IS EASIER
Raising A Modern Day
Knight
week six
Heritage
• When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could
hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be
21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in
seven years.
• Character is largely caught, and the father and the home should
be the great sources of character infection. ~Frank H. Cheley
• There are many ways to measure success; not the least of
which is the way your child describes you when talking to a
friend.
• When you teach your son, you teach your son's son. ~The
Talmud
• Kids spell love T-I-M-E. ~John Crudele
ceremonies
ceremonies
Direction – Have a Plan
• A boy carries out suggestions more wholeheartedly
when he understands their aim. Robert Baden-Powell
• “A little boy is the thing God uses to make a man.”
• Parents who are afraid to put their foot down usually
have children who step on their toes. ~Chinese
Proverb
Instruction
• To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way
yourself once in a while. ~Josh Billings
• Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that
they are always watching you. ~Robert Fulghum
• Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they
didn't have anything to do with it. ~Haim Ginott
• The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front
of him, but because he loves what is behind him. G.K.
Chesterton
Reinforcement
Reinforcement
• When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire
Department usually uses water.
• You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
• Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them
pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.
Winston Churchill
• Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not
putting it in fruit salad.
• You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a
parachute to skydive twice.
•
Boys will be boys
• “If Huck Finn or Tom Sawyer were alive today, we’d say
they had ADD or a conduct disorder. They [boys] are who
they are, and we need to love them for who they are. Let’s
not try to rewire them.” — Michael Gurian.
• My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard.
Mother would come out and say, "You’re tearing up the
grass." "We’re not raising grass," my dad would reply,
"we’re raising boys.“ –Harmon Killebrew
• Some parents say it is toy guns that make boys warlike. But
give a boy a rubber duck and he will seize its neck like the
butt of a pistol and shout, “Bang!” — George F. Will
Boys will be boys
Boys will be boys
Can I do that Too?
Raising A Modern Day Knight
•
• Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy.
~Robert A. Heinlein
• The thing that impresses me most about America is the way
parents obey their children. ~Edward, Duke of Windsor, Look,
5 March 1957
• If you have never been hated by your child you have never
been a parent. ~Bette Davis
Raising A Modern Day
Knight