Transcript Getting along with your co-workers: How to build a peaceful work environment Advice from the Mayo Clinic.

Getting along with your
co-workers: How to build a
peaceful work environment
Advice from the Mayo Clinic
Getting along with your coworkers will make
work more pleasant and lower your stress
level. Find out why mutual respect is essential.
• Working with people who respect you and
who value your contributions strongly
affects your level of job satisfaction. It also
improves your ability to produce quality
work.
• As you may have experienced, it's not
always easy for co-workers to get along.
Here are some strategies to overcome
unhealthy relationships with co-workers
and some tips to promote an atmosphere
of mutual respect.
How to respond to rudeness
If someone is rude to you, try these tactics to
avoid escalating the conflict.
• Cool off. Watch your language. Avoid
sarcasm. Repeat, rephrase and reflect
back what you think the person is trying to
say. If the behavior gets to you and you're
angry, take a timeout.
• Confront. Calmly explain how the
behavior affects you. Your co-worker may
not understand there's a problem.
How to respond to rudeness (2)
• Focus your concern. Talk to the person whose
behavior is bothering you, but not to others. If the person
in the next cubicle is playing a radio too loudly, tell him or
her how that affects you. "I can't hear when I'm on the
telephone," for example.
• Solve the problem. Ask your co-worker to work with you
to find a solution. "Can we figure out what to do about
this? What are your ideas?" Look for a mutually
agreeable solution.
• If nothing seems to help, talk with your supervisor about
the problem. Your supervisor can't help you if he or she
doesn't know about the behavior.
Dealing with an office bully
• Bullying isn't just something that happens
on the playground in elementary school. It
happens at work, too. Bullying is the
hurtful and repeated mistreatment of
workers by their bosses, a co-worker or
even subordinates. It's a pattern of
abusive remarks, arbitrary rages or
attempts to sabotage a person's work.
Examples of bullying work
behaviors include:
• Talking behind your
back
• Interrupting you when
you're speaking or
working
• Flaunting authority or
status
• Acting in a
condescending
manner
• Belittling your
opinions
• Giving you the silent
treatment
• Insulting you
• Shouting at you
• Staring at you
• Sending you abusive
e-mail
People often react to the bully by:
• Worrying about a specific incident or future
interactions
• Losing work time by avoiding the bully
• Being absent or tardy, or leaving early
• Changing jobs
If someone's behavior toward you feels
like bullying, consider these steps:
• Get some support. Talk with your friends, family
or a counselor. Call your employee assistance
program (EAP). Don't suffer in silence.
• Practice avoidance. Don't be alone with the
bully.
• Document the behavior in writing. Be specific.
Include how the behavior impacts your
productivity and the bottom line. Share this with
your supervisor. If your supervisor is the bully,
share your documentation with the next
supervisor in the chain of command.
If someone's behavior toward you feels
like bullying, consider these steps: (2)
• Check your company's policies. Many
employers know the importance of
maintaining a work environment free of
violence, coercion, sexual harassment and
hostility. A bully can create an
uncomfortable work environment.
• Confront the bully. If you're comfortable
doing so, let the bully know that his or her
behavior bothers you.
What to do if you've been
undermined
• When someone is out to make you or your work
seem inferior, you're being undermined. He or
she may steal your idea, belittle you in meetings,
or lie about you to your boss or co-workers.
These underhanded behaviors could create an
uncomfortable work environment. But you can
use strategies to counter these behaviors:
• Gather allies. Respect, appreciate and value
your co-workers. When the chips are down and
someone is undermining you, they'll back you
up.
• Document your ideas. Send them directly to
your supervisor without discussing them with coworkers.
What to do if you've been
undermined
• Build your visibility outside the company. Speak at
industry conferences, write articles for trade publications,
become a community leader. It's harder for someone to
stab you in the back if you're being honored in any of
these ways.
• Confront. Visit with the co-worker one-on-one. Describe
what you're experiencing. Sort through the reasons why
he or she might be undermining you. Calling the person
on his or her behavior will often stop it.
• Take the high road. Stand up for your co-workers. If you
hear a negative comment about someone, try to counter
the negative (and usually false statement) with a positive
truth. If the negative comment is true and you don't have
a positive counter statement, then try to redirect the
conversation.
Do your part
• Co-worker conflict isn't always avoidable. From
time to time you'll have to deal with someone
who is rude, a bully or someone who tries to
sabotage your work. Your co-workers will also
have to deal with you when you're having a bad
day.
• By building strong relationships with your coworkers, you'll each be more ready to practice
forgiveness and give each other some slack.
Here are some tips for building a
climate of mutual respect:
• Be positive. Smile, be upbeat and greet everyone warmly.
• Learn to communicate effectively. Make sure you
understand what your colleagues say to you. Ask for
clarification if you're uncertain. Make sure your colleagues
understand what you're saying, too. Don't assume they did.
Sometimes what seems obvious to you isn't obvious to others.
• Be a team player. Come to meetings prepared and on time.
Contribute to, but don't hog, the discussion. Think about how
others perceive you in the workplace.
• Avoid gossip. If conversation turns to rumors, say you're not
comfortable with the discussion and excuse yourself.
• Make an effort to resolve conflicts. Talk with your co-worker
in private in a non-threatening way. Focus on solutions. Don't
get sidetracked into an argument
.
Here are some tips for building a
climate of mutual respect:(2)
• Be modest. Don't brag or take too much credit.
• Be pleasant and personable. When communicating with coworkers, take the time to add a kind, thoughtful touch.
• Respect confidences. If your co-worker wants the entire office to
know about a divorce, career change, pregnancy, illness or other
personal matter, he or she will spread the news. Don't spill the
beans yourself.
• Avoid harassment. Never make suggestive comments or tell jokes
that make fun of a co-worker's culture, race or gender.
• Be courteous. Refill the paper tray. Clean up after yourself. Knock
before entering a co-worker's office or cubicle. Ask if it's a good time
to talk before interrupting. Tell co-workers where you're going if you
have to leave.
• Sign up for a course in communicating across work styles.
Check to see if your employer offers a course that will help you
identify your work style and your colleagues' work styles. If possible,
see if your entire team can participate.
• It's easy for rudeness or a lack of
consideration to escalate into hostility. So
even if it takes tremendous effort, be nice.
• And remember, it's the little things that can
build strong working relationships.
The End