Transcript Comparison Writing Clinic - AP World History with Ms. Cona

Comparison Writing Clinic
Thesis and Analysis
Thesis Statements
1.
2.
1.
Compare the roles of women between two of the following Foundations cultures- Sparta, Israel,
China, or Nubia.
In looking at the similarities and differences of the roles of women between Sparta and China
during the Foundations period, comparison of roles include the areas of domestic work
(similarities in the home and child care, differences in defense), importance to society
(similarities in propagation, differences in value), and working professionals (differences in jobs).
Compare the purposes and roles of technology in shaping two of the following cultures during
the Foundations period- Egypt, Mesopotamia, China, or Greece.
In looking at the similarities and differences of technology use between Egypt and Greece during
the Foundations period, especially in the purposes such as for tools and weapons (similar types,
different metals) and in the roles of technology such as for military conquest (different fighting
styles due to technology) and transportation ( similar and different maritime uses).
Compare the roles of political systems of two of the following cultures during the Foundations
period- Greece, Nubia, Egypt or Mesopotamia.
There are several similarities and differences between Greece and Egypt during the Foundations
period in the roles of political systems which include control (similarities in use of monarchy,
differences in use of religion as politics), militarism (differences in expansion and conquest), and
unification (differences in city state versus contiguous rule, similarities in state identity).
Analysis
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Both Egypt and Zhou China believed in the concept of divine rule.
This is because both needed to control their very religious peoples by placing
themselves in direct relation to the supernatural.
Women in Sparta were treated much differently than those in other Greek citystates.
These differences occurred due to Sparta being fearful of a helot uprising and saw
women as defenders of the home/state and propagators of future warriors
where as other Greek city states saw little value in women past the household as
servants.
Both the Hittites and Meroe Nubia benefitted from the use of advanced
metallurgy.
The reason for this shared benefit was that both the Hittites and Nubia were the
first to have the use of iron within their respective regions.
Both the Greeks and the Phoenicians were dependent on maritime trade for
their survival.
This similarity existed due to the fact that both cultures had poor natural
resources due to geography or conquest and were forced to trade for these
resource far and wide.
Tying it all Together- Body Paragraph
I. In the role of women as domestic, there were similarities in home and child care but
differences in defense of the home. (Topic sentences gives you address points-thus
not burning up your specific direct comparisons)
A. Sparta and Chinese women both were given the responsibility of caring the
young and taking care of the home. (Direct comparison)
1. Chinese women were raised to care for their parents while in their home as
well as their younger siblings until marriage when they would care for their own
children and husbands. (Evidence points)
2. Spartan women were educated and given physical training because of the
philosophy that strong women bore strong babies which was beneficial for Spartan
society as a whole. They cared for the home and their children as well especially
their daughters who did not leave the home until marriage. Sons left at age 6 to
attend military schools and lived in barracks. They were seen as the queens of the
home. Slaves did the other work in society. (Evidence points)
a. This similarity in the role of domestic between Sparta and China
occurred due to the fact that men had to make a living for the family or in Sparta’s
case, defend the state. Thus women fulfilled the jobs around the home. (Analysis)
I would then continue this paragraph by giving another direct comparison
(differences in defense of home), providing explanation of this as evidence and
then stating why this difference occurred (analysis).