Transcript Habit 5 Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

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PS:A2.6 Use effective communication skills
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PS: A2.2 Recognize alternative points of view
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PS:A2.7 Know that communication involves
speaking, listening and nonverbal behavior
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S1C1PO 1. Generate ideas through a variety of
activities (e.g., prior knowledge, discussion with
others, printed material or other sources).
Concept 6: Conventions addresses the mechanics of
writing, including capitalization, punctuation, spelling,
grammar and usage, and paragraph breaks.
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What do you think this quote means?
“People don’t care how
much you know until
they know how much
you care.”
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How do you show others you care about them?
How do others show you they care about you?
How do you feel when someone does not listen
to you?
Have you ever been a poor listener?
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The deepest need in our hearts is to be
understood.
Think of a situation when someone didn’t take
the time to understand or listen to you. Were
you open to listen to what they had to say? Why
or why not? Share at your tables.
When I ask you to listen to me
And you start giving me advice,
You have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen to me
And you begin to tell me why
I shouldn’t feel that way,
You are trampling on my feelings
When I ask you to listen to me
And you feel you have to do something
To solve my problem,
You have failed me,
Strange as that may seem.
Listen! All I ask is that you listen.
Don’t talk or do---just hear me.
Spacing Out
Pretend Listening
Selective
Listening
Word Listening
Self-Centered
Listening
You mind is wandering off and you are consumed
by your own thoughts
You are not paying much attention to the person but you are
acting like you are. You might nod your head, say “yeah”,
“cool”, “sounds great”
You only pay attention to the part of the conversation that
interests you.
You are paying attention to the words, but you are not in
tune to the emotions, body language, or tone of voice
You are listening but seeing everything from your own point
of view. You might say, “I know exactly how you feel.”
Judging
You are making judgments
about them and you are no
longer really listening, you
are just judging
Advising
You start giving advice from your
own experience. When I was your
age….
Probing
You are trying to dig up emotions
before people are ready to share
them. Have you ever been probed
by your parents, friends, teachers,
siblings, etc.
Listening
Words
Body Language
Tone/Feeling
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Notice how you can change the meaning of a
sentence by emphasizing a different word.
I didn’t say you had an attitude problem.
I didn’t say you had an attitude problem.
I didn’t say you had an attitude problem.
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“Walk a mile in their shoes.”
You must try to see the world as they see it and
try to feel as they feel.
Tinted Glasses Story
Often times conversations are viewed as a
competition that someone has to “win”. Really
both people can win because both are coming
from different points of view.
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Think like a mirror. What does a mirror do? It
doesn’t judge. It doesn’t give advice. It reflects.
Mirroring means to repeat back in your own
words what the other person is feeling and
saying.
When you mirror you use your own words, are
warm and caring, and are repeating meaning.
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Sentence Stems:
So, as I see it…
What I am hearing you say is…
I can see that your feeling…
You feel that…
So, what your saying is…
Why is it important to seek first
to understand, then to be
understood?