Transcript Separation-Individuation: Psychological Understanding of
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www.ExodusInternational.org
Separation-Individuation
Psychological Understanding of Sexuality
Copyright © Melvin W. Wong, Ph.D. April 2000 Melvin W.Wong, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist Mail @ ChristianMentalHealth.com
220 Montgomery St., Suite 1098, S.F., CA 94104 Tel (510) 794-8898 Fax (510) 475-1473
Reference One
Homosexuality: A New Christian Ethic Elizabeth R. Moberly, (1983 56 pages) Published by James Clarke & Co, Cambridge England British Pound 2.95 (USD $ 9.00)
Homosexuality: A New Christian Ethic
Shifts focus of debate from symptoms to root causes Psychoanalytic Interpretation “the homosexual condition involves legitimate developmental needs, the fulfillment of which has been blocked by an underlying ambivalence to members of the same sex.”
Homosexuality: A New Christian Ethic
She sets the separation between “ homosexual-orientation ” from “ homosexual-activities ” She coined the term “ Defensive Detachment ”
“Defensive Detachment”
“Same-Sex Ambivalence” “An Approach Avoidance Conflict” For Males and Females Male and Female Homosexuality
“Defensive Detachment”
• Why Defensive Detachment?
• From “Attachment” theory of John Bowby • With Attachment, there is Detachment • How a child-toddler learns autonomy – Identity Formation and Development – A Dynamic process of Attaching-Detaching • The “Psychological-Birth” of an infant
Family Tree Diagram
Father Daughter Son-1 Son-2 Mother
Healthy Relationship
Father Mother Daughter Son-1 Son-2
Son separates from mom for psychological individuation successfully
Healthy Relationship
Father Daughter Son-1
Son attaches with dad for Gender-Identity formation sucessfully
Son-2 Mother
Healthy Relationship
Father Mother Daughter Son-1 Son-2
Son separates from mom for psychological individuation successfully
Healthy Relationship
Father Daughter Son-1
Son attempts to attach to father for Gender Identity formation
Son-2 Mother
Unhealthy Relationship Begins
Father Daughter
Son’s attempts to attach to father was rebuffed and he experiences rejection and hurt
Son-1 Son-2 Mother
Unhealthy Relationship
Defensive Detachment
Begins
Father Daughter
Son’s attempts to defend against more pain from rejection by defensively detaching from father’s relationship emotionally
Son-1 Son-2 Mother
Reference Two
Reparative Therapy of Male Homosexuality A New Clinical Approach Joseph Nicolosi, Ph.D.
(1991, 355 pages) Published by Jason Aronson Inc. New Jersey, London $32.00
Reparative Therapy of Male Homosexuality
“Reparative” Homosexuality as a “Reparative Drive” “Defensive Detachment” Failure of the Father-Son Bond Failure of the Father-Son Relationship
Reference Three
The Psychological Birth of the Human Infant
Symbiosis and Individuation
Margaret S. Mahler, Fred Pine & Anni Bergman (1975 308 pages) Published by Basic Books, Inc. Publishers, New York (Hardcover USD $45 Paperback $22)
The Psychological Birth of the
Human Infant Symbiosis and Individuation • Beginning of Gender Identity is 21 months – Boys turn to fathers to gender identify (p. 106) – Boys struggles with castration anxiety • Task of becoming a separate individual for little girls are more difficult than boys – Girls turn to mother upon discovery of sexual difference – Girls blame, demand, ambivalent toward mom
Gender Identity Disorder: Age of Onset • “Onset of Cross-Gender Interests and activities is usually between ages 2 and 4 years” (DSM IV) • Average age for a clinical referral is 3.5 yrs (Rekers, G.) • Only a very small number of children with Gender Identity Disorder will continue to have symptoms that meet criteria for Gender Identity Disorder in later adolescence or adulthood. • Most children with GID display less overt cross gender behaviors with time, parental intervention, or response from peers.
Gender Identity Disorder: Age of Onset • “By late adolescence or adulthood, about three quarters of boys who had a childhood history of Gender Identity Disorder report a homosexual or bisexual orientation , but without concurrent Gender Identity Disorder.” (DSM IV) • Most of the remainder reports a heterosexual orientation, also without concurrent Gender Identity Disorder.
• The corresponding percentages for sexual orientation in girls are not known.
Gender-Identity Development
Separation-Individuation
• Successful Gender-Identity develops after an early dynamic relationship (Separation Individuation) of child with Mother & Father • Both Mother and Father are important for healthy gender development of their kids • Dynamic psychological relationship begins when child walks & talks (Separation-Individuation) –
Where Gender-Identity Imprinting begins
Gender-Identity-Imprinting Stage Copyright © Melvin W. Wong, Ph.D.1999
Object-Relations
Separation-Individuation
theory suggests there is a critical phase when a child will have to
separate
from mother to attain gender
individuation
For gender identity to be formed, child must successfully attach to the same-sex parent emotionally
Gender-Identity-Imprinting Stage Copyright © Melvin W. Wong, Ph.D.1999
• Defensive Detachment theory – Dr. Elizabeth Moberly • Defensive Attachment theory – Dr. Melvin Wong, Licensed Psychologist (Calif) • Father-Son Separation: Emotional Detachment • Mother-Son Enmeshment: Close emotional attachment,
results in imprinting of mother’s gender-personality characteristics
Healthy Relationship
Father Mother Daughter Son-1 Son-2
Son separates from mom for psychological individuation successfully
Healthy Relationship
Father Daughter Son-1
Son attempts to attach to father for Gender Identity formation
Son-2 Mother
Unhealthy Relationship Begins
Father Daughter
Son’s attempts to attach to father was rebuffed and he experiences rejection and hurt
Son-1 Son-2 Mother
Unhealthy Relationship
Defensive Detachment Begins Father Daughter
Son ’ s attempts to defend against more pain from rejection by defensively detaching from father ’ s relationship emotionally
Son-1 Son-2 Mother
Unhealthy Relationship
Defensive
Attachment
Begins Father Mother Daughter Son-1 Son-2
Son has no choice but to re-attach with mom for emotional security
Unhealthy Relationship
Defensive
Attachment
Continues Father Mother Daughter Son-1 Son-2
Son has no choice but to re-attach with mom for emotional security Forming Defensive Attachment
Unhealthy Relationship
Defensive
Attachment
Intensifies Father Mother Daughter Son-1 Son-2
Son generalizes defensive detachment to defensively attach to girls and women: Non aggressive & softer
Unhealthy Relationship
Defensive
Attachment
Intensifies Father Mother Girl 1 Daughter Son-1 Girl 2 Son-2
Generalization intensifies. Father becomes a stanger
Unhealthy Relationship
Defensive
Attachment
Intensifies Father Mother Girl 1 Daughter Son-1 Girl 2 Son-2
Generalization intensifies. Men are unfamiliar
Girlfriend
Unhealthy Relationship
Defensive
Attachment
Solidifies Father Grandma Mother Girl 1 Daughter Son-1 Girl 2 Son-2
Men are objectified curious-sexualized
Girlfriend
Unhealthy Relationship
Defensive
Attachment
Solidifies Father Aunt 1 Grandma Mother Girl 1 Daughter Son-1 Girl 2 Son-2
Men are objectified curious-sexualized
Girlfriend
Gender-Identity-Imprinting Stage Copyright © Melvin W. Wong, Ph.D.1999
• Mother-Daughter Separation: Individuation • Father-Daughter Attachment: Gender-Identity “Confirmation” process – “I am not mother, but I am myself as a wanted girl” • Father-Daughter Detachment: Confusion • Mother-Daughter Attachment-Enmeshment – Defensive Attachment: “I am wanted as a girl” – “I am not mother, so I must not be like her” • Rejects Gender-Identity with mom for Individuation
Gender-Identity-Imprinting Stage Copyright © Melvin W. Wong, Ph.D.1999
•
Imprinting: An Opportune-Window of time for Gender Identity to take place
– Successful attainment: Secure Gender Identity – Attainment failure: Incomplete Gender Identity • When Imprinting period is passed, child becomes more vulnerable in Gender Identity • Non-Gender-Imprinted child: Seeks attainment indiscriminately due to desperation: Mother
Fathers’ Characteristics
• Inexperience-Distracted: “Teenage Dads” – Dads’ orphaned, fostered, disconnected – Dad’s role was insignificant: “ego-centric” • Having children “Out-of Wedlock” • Physically abusive – Fear-Shame-Blame based “Parenting” – Sexual-Genital based teasing: “Put-Downs” • Survival: Dads’ Identity at expense of son
Mother’s Characteristics
• Inexperience: “Teenage Moms” Immature – Husband unable to meet her Emotional Needs – Her role is not involved enough: “Grandma” • Having children “Out-of Wedlock” • Emotional Enmeshment: “Favorite Child” – Unable to help sons-daughters detach from her – Sexual-Boundary Exposure: Intended or not • Survival: Mom’s identity at expense of kids
Conclusions
• Homosexual orientation is a complex Psychological-Emotional issue • Understanding Root causes is more important than just symptoms removal – Psychoanalytic-Psychodynamic Therapy: “In” – Behavioral Modification: “Out” • There is a strong theoretical base for therapy • Psychotherapy can assist in recovery (not to minimize God’s ability in making changes)
Separation-Individuation
Psychological Understanding of Sexuality
Copyright © Melvin W. Wong, Ph.D. April 2000 Melvin W.Wong, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist Mail @ ChristianMentalHealth.com
220 Montgomery St., Suite 1098, S.F., CA 94104 Tel (510) 794-8898 Fax (510) 475-1473
Until the whole world Knows
www.ExodusInternational.org