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HUMOR
• Why is the third hand on the watch called a
second hand?
• Why is the time of the day with the slowest traffic
called the rush hour?
• Why is lipstick so called, when you can still move
your lips?
• If humans evolved from monkeys and apes, why
do we still have monkeys and apes?
• Why are they called apartments, when they’re all
stuck together?
• How do “keep off the grass” signs get where they
are?
• Why do scientists call it research when looking
for something new?
• Why is the word abbreviation so long?
• What do you do when you see an endangered
animal that eats only endangered plants?
• If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hand
with soap?
Jokes about lawyers
• Q: What is the difference between a dead
dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the
road?
There are skid marks in front
of the dog.
• Q: Why won’t sharks attack
lawyers?
• A:
Professional courtesy
• Q: How can you tell there’s
an afterlife for lawyers?
• A:
Because after they die, they lie
still.
Hero and Leander
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•
•
•
•
(1)
There might you see one sigh, another rage,
And some, their violent to assuage,
Compile sharp satires; but alas, too late,
For faithful love will never turn hate
• (2)
• Ah, simple Hero, learn
thyself to cherish,
• Lone women, like empty
houses, perish.
• (3)
• One is no number, maids
are nothing then
• Without the sweet society
of men.
• (4)
• The richest corn dies, if it
be not reaped,
• Beauty alone is lost, too
warily kept.
• (5)
• Hero’s looks yielded, but
her words made war;
• Women are won when they
begin to jar.
• (6)
• Maid are not won by
brutish force and might
• But speeches full of
pleasure and delight
• (7)
• Jewels being lost are found
again, this never;
• ‘Tis lost but once and once
lost, lost forever
• By Christopher Marlow