Transcript The nesdaOHIO Store
The nesdaOHIO Store CHRISTMAS Catalogue 2013
Sit Back & Relax, Each page will advance automatically in One Minute (You may ‘Force’ an advance by clicking or pressing “enter”)
nesdaOHIO Seal of Approval Kiss Me, You Fool!
NEW Products on Pages 18, 22, 23, 24
Order Form on Last Page
© 2010 By The nesdaOHIO Store, a Division of nesdaOHIO, All Rights Reserved (Prices subject to change without notice)
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nesdaOHIO Store Catalog
From the nesdaOHIO store at www.nesdaOHIO.com
Product Number 53041 $19.95
The DVD Rewinder
Are you tired of having to rewind your DVD’s when you return them to the Rental Store? The NesdaOHIO DVD Rewinder will take the drudgery out of that task. Merely place a DVD on the spindle, Press the button, and in less than 10 seconds the DVD will be perfectly rewound so that it will play from the beginning when it is next placed into a DVD Player.
Not seen on TV, available Only at the nesdaOHIO Store Batteries not included
Product 30130 $29.95 Fix-it Right™ TV Repair
Ages: 3 years & up All nesdaOHIO members will want one of these for their very own! If you feel that your skills are eroding, or you just need help with a “Tough Dog” This is the product for You.
With Turner the Screwdriver’s help, kids can “fix” this TV! When the TV “breaks”, Turner tells you how to fix it by opening up the TV and repairing the parts. When the fixing is complete, the screen lights up to let the child know that it’s fixed. Includes four realistic fixable parts and easy-to follow blueprints that explain how to make the repairs. Requires 2 AA batteries.
You can also use this for your recruiting of Future Technicians. Order Now from the nesdaOHIO Store at www.nesdaOHIO.com
(CET Test is Optional) 2
Product 215543 $4.95ea
Hand-Grip Drink Glass
While you’re working away on that “Tough Dog” of a Plasma TV does your favorite Beverage slip from your hand? Imagine the disaster if it would slip onto the Circuit Board. Well, No Longer will that occur! The patented nesdaOHIO Drink Glass is custom-formed to fit your hand. With finger depressions molded into the glass a sure grip is assured.
Never drop your beer into a Chassis again! Order your set of 6 nesdaOHIO Hand-Grip Glasses today
Product 7838 $34.95
The “Equality” Bedsheet
Does your Girlfriend or spouse (or Both) claim that you “Hog the Bed”? Are you tired of losing sleep when she pokes you in the ribs and shoves you over? That will Never Happen again when you install the “Equality Bedsheet” Pre printed with a “Zero-Center” datum, the bedsheet’s patented linear scale measures inches from center so that you can prove at a glance that you have not taken more than your “Allotted Space”.
This item may be paired with the next item: “Snore Stop” to insure that you receive your needed rest.
Product 7833 $2.95
Snore-Stop
Available in a variety of sizes, Snore-Stop is 100% effective in preventing that unwelcome ‘Jab Inna Back’ that comes so often in the middle of the night. Once installed - one in each of Her ears - complaints from her side of the bed will be silenced.
This item may be combined with item 7838 (above) to assure a full night’s sleep.
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Product 112524 $12.95
The NesdaOHIO CookieCup TM
NesdaOHIOANDERS
DO
Love their coffee, and what goes better with coffee than “COOKIES”. During every coffeebreak in nesdaOHIOLAND, tech’s are walking around with coffee in one hand, and cookies in the other – which creates a problem: What to do if you meet a friend and want to shake hands? What do you do if that cute office girl walks by?
With the nesdaOHIO Patented “CookieCup
TM”
, that problem is Solved. The Innovative “Cookie Compartment” of this cup can hold up to 2 cookies, leaving that right hand free for more important “work”.
Available only at the nesdaOHIO Store with optional “Bagel Size” compartment
Product 119635 $999.95
The Ladies Coffin
To Everything, there is a season. A Time to Live, and a Time to die, as the overly active obituary pages of the nesdaOHIO Newsletter can confirm If you look around at the average age of nesdaOHIOANS (with the exception of that member from S.Euclid, who is only 49) One wonders why our geriatic members are not croaking at a faster rate. Sadly, the passing of time affects our member’s wives as well, and when it does, the nesdaOHIO Ladies coffin stands ready to serve as an eternal resting place. Endorsed by the nesdaOHIO Ladies Auxiliary 4
Product 78040 $59.95
Designer “Lardasche” Belt
A Perfect companion to your Designer “Jordache” Jeans, The “Lardasche” Belt not only adds a lovely fashion accessory for the well dressed Technician, it also helps with you with a healthy diet. You can see at a glance when it is time to bypass the Fast Food Burger King between calls and hit the Health Food store - or the Gym May be ordered in your choice of US Inches or Metric Centimeters.
Product 112524 $19.95
Extend-a-Cam Monopod
When you’re at this Autumn’s nesdaOHIO Weekend of Training, you’ll want to take a Lot of photos of yourself at the various events and activities. With the nesdaOHIO Extend-a-Cam Monopod, you won’t have to search for a Third Party to “snap you”.
The Extend a Cam telescopes to a lengthy 3 feet that allows you to photograph yourself with other attendees. (Photo’s with Bob Lowe’s Cousin Trixie available in separate session $25 ea.)
Product 7830 $29.95
The Double-Brella
You and Bob Lowe’s Cousin Trixie won’t have to worry about getting wet on your (Ahem) “Date” when you have the patented nesdaOHIO Double-Brella. Covering a spacious 18 Square feet, the ‘Brella is sturdy enough to weather any Ohio storm.
Not recommended for children weighing less than 50 lbs. on windy days.
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Product 730-020 $6.95
The Banana Holder
Is that a Banana in your Pocket, or are you just Glad to See me? Bob Lowe’s Cousin Trixie asks that a dozen times a day (or more). You’ll be able to answer her truthfully if you’re packing your lunch in the new nesdaOHIO Banana Holder.
Molded of Quality Non-Chinese Polystyrene, and guaranteed to be Non-Toxic, the holder provides a Hard shell to protect one of nature’s tender treats. You’ll never be without a quick snack on those distant service calls if you’re packin’ This Lunch-Box. Available in your choice of colors.
Product 392-150 $116.95
The “Water” Cooler Product 7520 $24.95
The WMD Army Knife
Let’s face it, ANY office can have a Water Cooler. Hard Working nesdaOHIO Technicians deserve a little bit More. You deserve to slake your thirst from the nesdaOHIO Shop Cooler.
After fixing all those hard dogs on a summer afternoon what could be better than to draw a cool P.O.C. or a Carlings, and put up your feet for a few minutes relaxation before going out on another service call. The nesdaOHIO Shop Cooler can be ordered with your choice of “refreshments” and is available with an “Autofill” contract so that you will never be without.
You think the Swiss Army Knife is BA-A-A-D? Check out THIS Baby! With 120 separate items this heavyweight qualifies as a
W
eapon of
M
ass
D
estruction all by itself - and it even contains an actual Knife blade.
Imagine the reaction of the TSA security Guard when you try to take This Bad Boy on an airplane. You’ll be ready to take out a battalion of Arab terrorists or Fix the broken Compressor blades in a Jet Engine.
Never leave home without it!
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Product 83421 $24.95
The Feetzdry Umbrella
When you’re “Flying Solo” and don’t need the Double-Brella (Product 7830 shown elsewhere in this catalogue), You may become annoyed when Cleveland’s driving rains soak you from the waist down. Umbrellas are great to keep a technician’s coiffure dry, but it doesn’t do anything for their Feet!
Enter the Feetzdry Umbrella. A patented curtain of crystal clear polymer extends downward from the canopy’s edge and provides you with a cylindrical bubble of Dry Air. Guaranteed to repel water in the hardest thunderstorms and prevent raindrops from coursing down your butt-crack.
Will also assure you some ‘Personal Space” when you just want to be alone.
Product 78041 The nesdaOHIO Cookbook $24.95
Now, for the first time in Print, a Compendium of Contemporary Cookery by the Kitchen Whiz The world Renowned Chef Timmy (When he isn’t running his Excel Television) . Famous on 3 continents for his original recipes, he now shares his secrets with the other members of nesdaOHIO Learn how to make succulent dishes formerly found only in Chef Timmy’s own personal kitchen. Learn his techniques for combining the finest ingredients to make many tasty treats May be combined with item 78040 (above): The Lardasche Belt
Product 392-210 “Chef Timmy’s” MixStix $9.95
Is your Kitchen Quiet when you Cook? If you’re Chef Timmy, it Isn’t. Chef Loves music as much as he likes Food, and now he - and You - can play along with your favorite tunes while you Broil and Bake.
The Chef Timmy MixSticks feature perfectly balanced Drumstick heads on the handle ends opposite the sanitized hardwood mixing spoons. Whether you feel like drumming along with Gene Krupa or just keeping time with the Percolating H 2 O you won’t be bored while waiting for the pot to boil.
Order your MixSticks Today! Supplies are Limited
.
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Product 76501 The MAN’S Vacuum $999.95
Product 115911 The Smoker’s Pen $9.95
Tired of the “Little Woman” nagging you to help her with Housework? Tired of finding that little Namby-Pamby Vacuum Cleaner being set out on the steps for you to use? Well, There’s Good News Tonight!
With the nesdaOHIO 14HP Hoover Ride-a Vac you will be able to use the same efficiency in the living room as you do on the Lawn. A Wide 42” Vacuum Mouth will capture everything in its path: Dust Bunnies, Cookie Crumbs, Gravel from your shoes, and even the occasional dog or cat.
Keep your house Spotless without ever breaking a sweat. 100% Environmentally Friendly. (Gasoline not Included) Have you recently Quit Smoking? Do You miss the look and feel of a cigarette on your desk or in your hand? Would you Kill to feel one of those smooth cylinders between your Lips once more?
The NesdaOHIO Smoker’s Pen will satisfy all your needs! A Real Working Ballpoint Pen, it will reintroduce you into the world of the smoker as it sits on your desk looking for all the world like a Real Chesterfield. When you need a Pen, merely remove the Ash Tip to expose the Ball Point. When you’re not writing, you can allow it to droop from your lips just like a Real Cigarette – and look as “Kool” as you ever did.
Deluxe Model with simulated Smoke and nicotine flavored filter tip available at slightly higher cost. Order by the 24 count cylindrical carton.
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Product AR15NG The MAN’S Nailgun $119.95
Got some Nailing to do? I mean Some REAL Nailing? None o’ that Wimpy “Tacking in Place”! I’m Talkin’ some Serious fastening that will be here 200 years from now.
Made to nesdaOHIO’s exacting Specifications by DeWalt, the AR15NG can spit out 600 10-Penny nails per minute for as long as you hold down the trigger.
Fully selectable for 3-Round Bursts or Full Automatic, the accuracy of delivery will impress even the most hard-boiled of workmen. You can drive a 16D Nail through a 2 X 4 at 200 yards. Make Fences from the comfort of your Lawn Chair - Just get the Wife & Kids to hold up the Boards while you sit back and Squeeze the Trigger. From nesdaOHIO “Real Tools for Real Men ”. Specify choice of Yellow or Camo color Stock when ordering.
Product C1880 The nesdaOHIO Urban Cell-Phone $119.95
Are you hard pressed to find a Cell Phone that will work when you’re making those service calls in the Ghetto? “Signal Strength” and just about everything else leaves a bit to be desired in those areas - and just Forget about finding a Pay Phone to place that important call! They’re all tied up with Pushers & Pimps!
You’ll never miss a call again with the nesdaOHIO Urban Cell-Phone. Scientifically enhanced to deliver signal to any satellite orbiting overhead, your call will go through with crystal clarity. The comfortable Pistol Grip handle can help with that “Other” Urban problem, too. One appliance to solve Two problems. Available in choice of caliber.
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Product 53359 The nesdaOHIO Weather Station $29.95
Friends, Are you apprehensive about making those Service calls when you don’t know what the weather will be? How can you Possibly know what to wear? Even if you were well equipped with the Feetzdry Umbrella, featured elsewhere in this catalog, you Still might suffer from some unexpected exposure.
The nesdaOHIO Weather Station is the Answer to all your problems. If used as directed, The nesdaOHIO Weather Station is 100%Accurate. Order Two today – One for the Shop and one for at Home – and you will always know what the weather is.
NOTE: For best results, Place your weather Station outside.
Product 3125 The i Phone “Ghetto” $229.95
That your i Phone you’re holdin’ Homie? You call That an i Phone? You can hardly see it… Now, THIS - This as an i Phone!
Be the envy of your ‘Hood with the nesdaOHIO i-Phone©. With a 21” screen, 2,000 Apps already installed, and 250 watts of Mega Thumpin’ Bass you’ll be blastin’ the windows on Outhwaite Avenue right outta their frames.
The nesdaOHIO i Phone© comes with Standard equipment consisting of Shoulder Pad, and Earplug for the ear closest to the sub woofer, and expanded Phone directory in the “P” section for names of your Pushers, Pimps, and Parole officers. Now, there will never be any doubt when you boast to your ‘Bros that “Mine’s Bigger” 10
Product C1880 Kleen-Stride Brushes $19.95
Like most nesdaOHIOANS, you’re probably to busy to sweep your shop floor every day. With the failure of the Chinese Electronics products taking every minute of the day to put them right, there isn’t much time remaining to take care of the more mundane tasks of running a service-center like Cleaning the facility.
The nesdaOHIO Kleen-Stride Brush-Shoe will solve this problem. Fit the brush to your shoe when you enter the shop in the morning and you will automatically sweep the debris aside as you walk through your chores. Never pick up a Broom Again!
Order Now, and you will receive the Optional Snowplow accessory to keep your shop’s sidewalk clean during those Ohio Winters! Special Magnet Holder allows this product to pay for itself as it collects screws and nuts from your floor.
Product BUH517 Wedding Ring Coffin $39.95
Even in nesdaOHIOLAND, fifty percent of marriages end in Divorce. A sad statistic, but True.
That leads to a definite problem
:
What to Do with IT.
No - not the Wife ! You already know what to do with That
:
Foist ‘er off on your Best Friend, Ship her back to her Mother, or just “Fix” the brakes on her Car.
If The Problem is what to do with the Wedding Ring.
you’re sitting at a low point on the Gold Price Fluctuations, you need a place to Park that Sucker until the price goes up and you can call 1-800-GOLD.
The nesdaOHIO Ring Coffin is the perfect repository for that memento of a marriage that has Died.
The coffin comes with a lovely engraved Brass Plaque and a funeral drape that will enhance any mantle. For members with multiple divorces, the coffin is spacious enough to hold up to 4 rings. Order today, and receive a free subscription to the Cleveland Plain Dealer so that you can keep an eye on those Gold Futures.
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Product D555 High Efficiency Work Throne $1299.95
nesdaOHIOANS want to use every minute of every day to improve their efficiency at work. They hate to waste even one minute of a work day, so what better way to utilize “Spare” minutes than to do it “Here”?
Instead of merely “waiting”, you can use these idle minutes to file your warranty claims, research parts, and catch up on your email. It eliminates that embarrassing ‘Flush’ if you tried to accomplish this on your cell-phone.
On those days when you are afflicted with ‘Montezuma’s Revenge’, you could reconcile your entire ASC account without ever leaving The Throne.
Available with choice of Mac or PC – Plumbing not included
Product 138906 “Snort no More” Nose Guard $3.95
Friends, Have you ever Snorted your Beer Through your Nose? Isn’t that an unpleasant sensation? Isn’t it unsightly to that see in someone else?
Well, There’s Good News Tonight ! Place one of the nesdaOHIO Patented “Snort No More” Noseguards over the mouth of your Beer Glass, and the custom fitted device will cover your nose and protect it from those Liquids. Each box contains enough noseguards for 2 12-packs and comes in varying sizes so that you can truly “Pick Your Nose”. 12
Product 239111 The Nap-Tie $14.95
Product RP023 The Smoking Hat $29.95
If there’s one thing that nesdaOHIOANS Love to do, It’s EAT. And sometimes we’ll go to a Fancy Restaurant only to be turned away because we’re not wearing a Necktie. Let’s face it – except for that fellow in S.Euclid, not many nesdaOHIOANS wear neckties to work.
With the nesdaOHIO Nap-Tie, you need worry no more. Printed onto a top quality paper napkin, you can carry your own neckite with you to gain admittance to a fancy restaurant (and silence your wife’s admonition of “I Told you to Put on a Tie”) …Best of all, it’s disposable when the meal ends! Regardless of what the Surgeon General says, there are Still some of us who Like to Smoke. Problem is that we spend all day working with our hands, and frequently have them full when it is time top flick the ash off the cigarrette. The nesdaOHIO Smoking Hat will solve that problem once and for all. A sensor monitors the length of cigarette ash, and at the proper time, a robotic arm descends to remove the cigarette from your mouth and gently tap the ash away.
Increase your Productivity by never having to stop your work again. Can be programmed to remove the cigarette when a Beer Glass approaches your lips.
Order one Today !
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Product C2055 The NesdaOHIO Camper $4895.95
Are you a Nature Lover? Many NesdaOHIOANS take to our many State and National Parks after a long day’s work or whilst on Vacation. What better way to answer Nature’s call than with your very own nesdaOHIO Camper?
Designed by Chevrolet Right here in Cleveland, the NesdaOHIO Camper’s streamlined design reduces wind resistance when on your way to the camp ground The optional “Hitch-It” accessory (Sold Separately) attaches to all makes and models of Scooters or Hoverrounds. Truly a product designed for and meeting the needs of nesdaOHIOANS, the nesdaOHIO Camper can even double as your permanent residence when your working days are over – (and may have to if the current government is allowed to have its way)
Product 124757 Large Type Alphabet Soup $22.50/case
nesdaOHIOANS Love their Food, and their Memories of good food from the days of their Youth (Those who can remember that far back). They look fondly at the days when they were sent off to school with a Thermos of Alphabet Soup in their Lunch Box These same nesdaOHIOANS, now grown up …W-a-a-y Up… still love the flavor of the soup, but at their age have a little trouble reading that small print – and it gets smaller every year.
Enter the nesdaOHIO LARGE PRINT Alphabet Soup! A Classic flavor now with easy-to-read Large Type Letters. Have Fun while you dine! Bonus Points if you remember how to spell your name.
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Product 1200/35 The nesdaOHIO T-Shirt $22.95
Men, do you hate wearing a T-shirt with somebody Else's Logo on it? Have you ever wished that you could proudly tout your Own association's Logo on your person for all to see? Would you like to make a Fashion Statement that will make a lasting impression on your customers as you go through your daily jobs?
Then, Look No Further! NesdaOHIO, always on the lookout to help with their member's needs has just introduced the NesdaOHIO T-Shirt. Emblazoned with the nesdaOHIO Logo and some additional artwork, this shirt is sure to catch the eye of all who watch you while you work.
...And it will also help with that "Other Problem".
On Sale Now at the nesdaOHIO Store. Order TWO so you will never be without a clean shirt. (Your Mind, you will have to clean yourself).
Product 44067 The BrightToes Slipper $29.95
Does your Spouse wake up during the middle of the night? If she does, and she is considerate of your Sleep, she likely walks around in the dark so that she doesn’t wake a hard-working nesdaOHIOAN.
Until she Bumps into a Wall!, Then the sudden THUD renders us instantly awake! This Problem is Solved with the nesdaOHIO BrightToes Bedroom Slipper! When your mate slips on these beauties and activates the LEDHeadlights with the patented Toe Switch, her way will be lighted anywhere she goes in the house.
Available in choice of color and size, she will be able to navigate to the Kitchen to get you that cup of coffee No Matter What time you wake up for work.
Order Today to allow delivery in time for Christmas 15
Product STV8172 The nesdaOHIO Party Tray $19.95
Have you had a dinner party with family and or friends but have had drinks spill because you lost your grip on the tray they were on? Lots of us have, so don't be embarrassed by it. But it will Never Happen Again !
It’s the nesdaOHIO Finger Tray to the Rescue! This tray comes with small finger indents fit just for your fingers. Now, when serving drinks you'll have to find another excuse as to why you dropped the drink and not just say 'It was the tray's fault. It slipped from my hands!' The NesdaOHIO Finger Tray makes its appearance just in time for those Christmas Parties that bring together Family and Friends. Buy Multiples of the tray to give as gifts as well as avoiding disasters at your own parties.
This
Product HR8220 Christmas Photoshop Service $89.95
This To
It’s THAT Time of Year, Friends… Time to send out those Christmas Newsletters to everyone that you ever knew or met – and you NEED a Good Christmas Picture of your House to Put on It! But, Whaddya Do if you neglected putting up your Christmas Lights?
Why, you Contact the
n
esdaOHIO
P
hotoshop
S
ervice, of Course!
nPS
can take whatever hovel you live in and transform it into a showplace to behold and grace the cover of your family newsletter. You’ll garner Prestige and envy from all who know you (and don’t know where you Actually Live.) Order today to avoid the Christmas Rush.
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Product 829473 The Potty-Putter $19.95
Product 1000uf35v The Nail Unbender $139.95
SPECIAL SALE
How’s your Golf Game, nesdaOHIOANS? Don’t have enough time to Practice, you say? Yeah, that can be tough when you get so many service calls from the Manufacturers and from “TV Repairman.com”.
Well, Now you can reclaim some of that “Dead Time” and put it to good Use!
Instead of just (Ahem) Sitting around, you can practice Putting right from the comfort of your – err – umm – “Throne”.
Get your Game in gear and order one for every bathroom in your house After you’ve bought that AR15NG Nail-Gun (See Pg. 9 of this catalogue) and used it on a few improvement projects around the shop, you’re bound to wind up with a bent nail or two.
Let’s face it, Nobody’s Perfect, But those used nails wind up in the DEBIT column of your financial report.
No nesdaOHIO Businessman would want THAT, so we are proud to offer “The Nail Unbender” to take those losses and turn them into a Profit Center In no time, you’ll be visiting carpenters and construction sites to collect their “Leftovers”. Is that “Diversification” – or What!
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Product STRW6565 AIR CONDITIONER SPECIAL LOW PRICE $ 79,98 6 .
99
Has it been a Hot Summer, Friends? As Arizona Residents can testify, Things are Warming Up – Especially with a Wildfire as their Next Door Neighbor heating things up.
Would you like some relief from the Heat? Would you like to keep from losing your Cool?
The nesdaOHIO Airborne Air Conditioner provides Instant Relief from the Heat wafting over from next door. If used in the early stages of your heat wave, the STRW6565 will extend the life of your roof. As an extra added benefit – at no extra cost, use of this service will prevent your lawn from turning – Black. If that wasn’t enough, This amazing product will also help with the elimination of those smoky odors, too Please note that you are buying a Service, and not a physical product. When your phone call is received, one of our trained technicians will be dispatched with the nesdaOHIO Airborne Air Conditioner to provide application and remove the Heat. Call 555-381-1140 to schedule your application Today, before the need passes.
(Arizona Residents please note, nesdaOHIO makes no guarantee that the product will be dispatched at the time and date specified – or at all – nor that the application will be applied at the specified location . Special Arizona Surcharge of $50,000 is in effect until further notice. Price subject to change without notice.) We thank you for your patronage
Product WB44X200 The I -ARM $24.95
How’s that new I-Phone working out for you? Figured all them Buttons and Apps yet? Bet you ain’t figured out how to HOLD the thing with a phone to your Ear and a Coffeecup in your other hand!
Enter the New nesdaOHIO I-ARM. Ergonomically designed by the same nesdaOHIO engineers who brought you the Smartstand, the I-ARM clamps securely to your forearm and can hold your Tablet, Nook or Kindle while you use your hand for more important things. – Like drinking your coffee 18
Product X2400 Security Device Holder $39.95
Do you make House Calls? Sure, most of us do, and unfortunately, you don’t have much choice of where they take you – Including into the Ghetto.
Lets face it – that’s a Scary Place, so you want to have your Security Device near at hand.
The nesdaOHIO Patented ‘Security Device Holder Clip” will do just that. Attach it to the Dashboard for Fast retrieval of your needed item. You – but maybe not your Heirs will be glad you did!
Holder May be ordered with Item
C1880
, the nesdaOHIO Urban Cell-Phone (See Page 9)
Product WB44X200 Motorized Rolling Pin $24.95
Batteries not Included Men, Isn’t it time you bought the ‘Little Woman’ in your life a nice Gift? Something that will surprise her and show you just what you think of her?
The nesdaOHIO Motorized Rolling Pin is Just the Thing! Powered by a 15,735 RPM Motor of the same design as used in Samsung Color Wheels, this pin will make her Baking a Snap. She won’t be able to Wait before using it to roll out some of your favorite Sugar Cookies or Fig Newtons Perfect Gift for Christmas, Birthday or Wedding Anniversary. It will be the Gift she will Never Forget (and neither will You) 19
Product 100 Ω2w TOOL KIT $139.95
SPECIAL SALE
Endorsed by Tim the Tool Man
Product 100199 Cordless Hammer $49.95
If you were too cheap to buy the AR15NG Nail Gun, here’s a second chance for you to join the new millennium and use Cordless Powered Equipment.
The nesdaOHIO Cordless Hammer will work under all conditions – and even includes a built-in Flashlight for those times when you have to make an evening service call This is a tool that is NOT included in the tool kit above. Order one TODAY 20
Product 70316110 Personal Care Product $29.95
NEW !
Product 224988 Laser Guided Paint Brush $14.99
You have only to look at the average nesdaOHIOAN to see that personal Hygiene is very important to them. It DOES take its Time, however. When you consider the amount of Nose Hair, Ear Hair, Unwanted Mustaches, Earwax and the like, one can wonder where nesdaOHIOANS find the time to do any productive work at all!
The nesdaOHIO Personal Care Product (Made by DREMEL) will free up much time now being taken up by tonsorial pursuits, allowing it to be turned into active repairs at the shop.
This product is Guaranteed to pay for itself in the first week alone!
To the Man who says that he has Every Tool ever made, WE say “Bet you Aint got One o’ THESE!” Produced by scientists at the nesdaOHIO Laboratories, the nesdaOHIO Lite-Brush is accurate to 1/10 th of a Degree.
When it comes time to paint the shop in that ugly egg-shell off-white color, or that Yellow-Green the shade of Camel Puke, you’ll be able to make every stroke go right where you want it!
Doubles as a Cat-Tease when not in use.
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Product SCX2039 Parking Sign $29.95
Friends, How’s your Parking Situation? Who else is in your little strip of stores? Is yours the only building, or do you have to share the block with other businesses – like a Bakery, or a Tailor, or a Shoemaker?
Better hope that None of those other businesses is a “Beauty Shop” – Gawd, They’re the Worst! Them Broads Hog all the Parking Spaces and they seem to stay in there FOR-EVER! (From looking at some of ‘em on the way in, I can see why it would take so long) Well, Friends, your problems are Over! You hang this sign on the side of your building, and even the Dumbest Blonde of the bunch ought to get the message and stay out of the Parking space of Your Business.
As an extra “Value Added” Feature at no extra cost, Should one of the Beauty Brigade not ‘Get the message’ and park in your spot, you may call 555 421-2323 and have that errant car
attended to
. Ask for “Salvatore”.
Product WB44K10015 Wake & Bake Alarm Clock/Griddle $49.95
Don’t you hate having to wake up and cook Breakfast? With the Patented nesdaOHIO Wake & Bake Alarm Clock / Griddle Combination you can wake up on the Tasty side of the bed every morning. Whenever the alarm sounds to wake you, the Griddle starts fryin’ the Bacon & Eggs right there on your night stand. You won’t have to be putting a single foot onto a cold floor to enjoy a sumptuous Breakfast in Bed. Order an extra one for a Gift 22
Product SC1455 Pigeon Post Mailer $9.95
Product MP1650 Specially Designed Xmas Light Display $19.95
At this Joyous Holiday Season, you will likely be sending little tokens of remberance to your friends and family across the country.
This year, Don't use the US Mail – The Government is likely to screw that up as they have everything else. Instead, Send your Gifts Via PIGEON POST and be assured that they will get there. Let’s face it, Have you ever seen a Carrier Pigeon get Lost?
The attractive Bird-shaped receptacle can be split open along its seam for insertion of your treasures and Postage stamps will adhere to its rugged polystyrene exterior. The Bird can be dropped as is into any post-office collection box throughout the city with delivery made by the Pigeon Post Carrier Service Order by March 15 th in time for Christmas to insure delivery (This is a REAL Product – we’re sorry) - - - - - - - - Make This a Holiday to Remember (Your WIFE will never let you forget it!) And make sure she never asks you to Hang the Xmas Lights Again!
NesdaOHIO’s staff of lighting engineers have developed the perfect tangle that can never be undone. When you hang these Babies from your Porch, you can truthfully tell the little woman that “Honey, I Hung the Lights” - and “I did the Best I could” 23
Product MN2466 Your Christmas Donner $29.95
Product 77836 Blankeeze $39.95
Try Something New for Christmas Dinner! You may have been stuck in the same old rut of “Turkey” or “Goose” or “Ham” for countless Christmas Dinners – But NO MORE!.
The Nutritionists at nesdaOHIO have come up with a delightful new product, sure to please young and old alike, and we bet that you have never sampled anything like it before now. NesdaOHIO Unicorn Meat will be the centerpiece of your Christmas Dinner and will be remembered for years to come. Contains
0
grams of Trans-Fat or anything else of nutritional value. 1 can feeds Two people and can double as Cat Food when necessary.
You may be doing your patriotic duty in the current Energy Crisis by keeping your home’s Thermostat down, but We bet that you don’t like sitting around in the cold. You may have thought that the “Snuggee” Blanket with arnms product introduced a few years ago was a good idea, but the nesdaOHIO BLANKEEZ goes it one better.
Keep track of where the Kids are and avoid their whining about the cold when you wrap the Blankeeze around them – and your wife – and yourself! A full 18’ wide with an arm on each end, and “Head Holes” across the middle, this is all you need to bring the family together at Christmastime or throughout the winter - and Winters in Ohio can be a LONG affair.
Perfect for TV watching (if you still have electrical power) and if you don’t - you can use it while teaching the Kids to Read. A Plus, if they are enrolled in the Cleveland Public School System, because it is a cinch that they’re not learning it in School. Order now and we will include a Specially designed Pad of Lined Notebook Paper so that you can teach them to write Cursive.
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nesdaOHIO Catalogue PetLine Supplement
In response to a request from a Member in Bedford Hts, Ohio, who wondered why we do Not have any
Pet Supplies
in the catalogue, the nesdaOHIO Store proudly introduces our
New 2010 PetLine Catalogue Supplement!
Quality Products for Quality Pets, extensively tested by nesdaOHIO’s own QC Specialists. Quantity Discounts available.
Product 30123 $334.95ea
The HisnHer Pet Bed
At the end of a long day of Running, Tracking, Fetching, and Scratching, your pet will be ready for a good night’s sleep. And what better place for your Best Friend but beside His Best Friend. The HisnHer Pet Bed comes in your choice of King or Queen sizes to fit any pet from Chihuahua to Great Dane .
Your pal will awake refreshed to start a new day of Play and Gamboling about the yard - and he will still be ready to greet you when you come home from working to pay the installment payments, Each HisnHer Pet bed comes with a free companion bed for “that other person”.
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Product Z3001D $34.95
The “Scoopzit”
All nesdaOHIOANS pride themselves on being Responsible Pet Owners. We take good care of our pets, and we try to teach them to be responsible, too. Nobody - Least of all your pet would want to be responsible for leaving a “Deposit” on your neighbor’s sidewalk.
With your order of the patented nesdaOHIO “Scoopzit”, and a short training session, you will never have to worry about that embarrassing moment again. The deposit (His - or Yours) can be placed in the proper receptacle with ease.
Product 78045 $29.95
The Cat Stacker
Friends, are you tired of having your Cats haphazardly all over your home - or shop? Are they laying on the ‘Scope? On your Pattern Generator? Or - the unkindest cut of all - On your ChipperChecker? Yes, if you are a Multi-Cat Shop, things Can get a little out of hand at times. Well, your problem has been solved, thanks to the animal behavioral scientists at nesdaOHIO. It was discovered after years of study that Cats are Vertical Creatures, and given a vertical stacking array, they will align themselves like Bits in a Byte Register!
Order the nesdaOHIO CatStacker for your clowder of cats and you’ll always know where they are. Keep the Cat Hair where it belongs (on your cat) and away from your test equipment and customers TV’s Specify number of cats when ordering. If Both Male & Female, we recommend that you “Supersize” your order.
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Product 78654 $19.95
The “DOG Lover’s” Pencil Sharpener
Let’s Face it, There are “Cat People” and there are “Dog People”. For all you “Dog” People out there, here is a Pencil Sharpener Just For YOU!
Fully Motorized and Battery Operated, this lovely Figurine just sits on the top of your desk, awaiting the need for you to sharpen a Pencil - - Then you take your Pencil and insert it – Right where you’ve been wanting to insert it for Years. In addition to sharpening your pencil, the “Cat” makes a gratifying whining – Meowing Sound during the Process.
Vent your Frustrations with the Feline Set and show your support for Canines with the Dog Lover’s Pencil Sharpener Today
Product BN4400341 $9.95
BOWSER BEER
No drinking partner? Not even among your nesdaOHIO Friends? AWww… Drinking by yourself is So Sad. Why not throw back a cold one with man's best friend? Especially formulated to meet the needs of a Dipsomaniac Canine (Warning: This product may actually make you even more lonely). 27
Product 24C04 $4.95
"Rear Gear“ Butt Covers For Dogs
OK, Guys, THIS is a product for the LADIES in our lives. No matter how you cut it, nesdaOHIO WIVES are just more fastidious than their Male counterparts. After all, “WE” deal with As…err… “Bung-Holes” all day whilst dealing with customers. The Ladies only have to deal with ONE.
No, Not YOU. (Although we have to wonder about some of our members) We mean Your DOG. These little covers fit over a dog's tail to conceal the "business" below.
Available With or Without Floral scent.
Product 24C04 $8.95
People Crackers For Dogs
Hey, when you were a kid, you ate ANIMAL crackers, didn’t you? Well, here’s a chance to even the score Your dog will gobble these up faster than a chicken on a June Bug. As an optional service (at slight additional charge) you may upload a JPEG of people you don’t like and watch while he tears them apart.
See separate item for crackers in the visage of nesdaOHIO Officers 28
Product 341241 $34.95
The “PetPetter”
For the nesdaOHIOAN on the go, what do you do with your pet when you got out of town? Maybe it’s a Long Distance Service call into the next state, or a trip to the nesda NPSC. If you leave your poor pet at home, he will suffer for that lack of attention without the hugs and petting that he would normally receive from You.
Enter the PetPetter. An Automated arm that will apply Pet Pleasing Strokes to your loving animal companion. Not limited to Digs or cats, the PetPetter will also transfer your long sidtance love to your pet tour Hamster, Ferret, or even a Horse when properly mounted.
Love having a Pet, but Allergic to their Dander? With the PetPetter around to administer those Tactile Sensations, you will never have to touch your pet again, and still be able to enjoy his company from across the room.
FREE WITH ANY ORDER The Fitzall “ANY” Key
Fits all Computer Keyboards. When your computer sends a popup message that says “Press Any Key”, you will have your own personal “ANY” key right on your keyboard. This Fitzall Key Cap can be used to replace any of the keys currently in place.
1 Universal Fitzall “Any “ Key will be placed with every order.
Made in USA - Not available in Spanish 29
The nesdaOHIO Store
ORDER FORM
nesdaOHIO Thanks you for your order and endeavors to make ordering easy for you. We ask for a minimum of information: Quantity Item Number Description ____ __________ ______________ ____ __________ ______________ ____ __________ ______________ ____ __________ ______________
Customer Name
__________________________________
Customer Credit Card Number _______________________ Customer Bank Acct. Number _______________________ Customer Social Security Number _____________________ Terms of Sale:
ALL Sales must be Prepaid. NO Refunds under any circumstances. Non-Receipt of any item will NOT result in Refund. nesdaOHIO makes no assurance that any item is in stock or is an actual Product. Items not in stock will NOT be shipped. Prices subject to change without notice. nesdaOHIO reserves the right to change quantity ordered at will. Mythical items carry lifetime warranty Mail completed order form to Consumer service co., 4028 Mayfield rd. S. Euclid, Oh 44121 30