Transcript Stepfamily Dynamics and Supporting Programs Jennifer L. Baker, Psy.D. Anne B. Summers, Ph.D. Debbi Steinmann, M.A. The Training for the Healthy Marriage and Family Formation curriculum was created through the cooperative efforts.

Stepfamily Dynamics and
Supporting Programs
Jennifer L. Baker, Psy.D.
Anne B. Summers, Ph.D.
Debbi Steinmann, M.A.
The Training for the
Healthy Marriage
and Family
Formation
curriculum was
created through
the cooperative
efforts of:
Training Instructor / Mentors
Melissa A. Gibson, M.S.
Kim Rozell, M.A.
Graduate Assistants
Brent Anderson, M.S.
Matthew Biller, M.A.
Cate Brandon, M.A
Dawn Clinard, M.A.
Jessie Clinton, M.S.
Tabitha Carlson, M.S.
Anup Jonathan
Tony Larson, B.A.
Nicole Mannis, M.A.
Robert Mindrup, M.S.S.W.
Colleen Quinn, Ph.D.
Amber Schafer, M.A.
Amanda Schroeder, B.S.
What is a
Stepfamily?
• A family in which one
or both of the adult
partners bring a child
from a previous
relationship.
• Stepfamily is the
preferred name rather
than blended family.
How Stepfamilies Differ
From First-time Families
1. Develop because of a loss.
2. Parent-child relationship has a
longer history than the new
couple’s relationship.
3. One biological parent is not in the
home.
Stepfamily Association Website
(www.stepfamilies.info)
How Stepfamilies are
Different From First-time
Families
4. Children can be members of two
households.
5. Stepparents may have to assume a
parental role before a connection is
made with the child.
6. No legal relationship exists between
stepparent and child.
Stepfamily Association Website
(www.stepfamilies.info)
• More than half of
Americans will be in a
stepfamily in their
lifetime.
Stepfamily
Statistics in
the United
States
• In 2000, 4.4 million
children lived in
stepfamilies.
• 1/3 of Americans are
currently a stepparent,
stepchild, stepsibling or
other member of a
stepfamily.
Stepfamily Strengths
• Children adapt better in a well-functioning
stepfamily than in a conflict-ridden family of
origin.
• If a positive home environment and a positive
relationship between stepparent and stepchild
exists, harmony and completeness can be felt
in the new family.
Characteristics of
Successful Stepfamilies
• Creative
• Flexible
• Honest
• Practical/Realistic
• Strong couple
relationship
• Sense of humor
• Good communication
across households
• Realistic expectations
for stepparent role
• Adequate finances
• Better communicators
• Shared perceptions
• Adjustment to remarriage can
take anywhere from two to
seven years.
Facing
Challenges
• Newer stepfamilies may be at
greater risk for conflict and
more likely to experience
family stressors.
• Conflicts and stressors affect
the individuals living in a
stepfamily environment.
A Child’s
Adjustment
•
•
•
•
Transitions and stressors
Games parents play
Age and gender
Common behavioral
problems
• Predictors
• Preventative factors
Transitional Stressors Divorce
• Lessened availability of one parent.
• Decline in parental support and control.
• Moving to a new house and attending a new
school.
• Losing old friends and having to make new
ones because of relocation.
• Loss of the fantasy about one’s ideal family.
Transitional
Stressors Remarriage
• Parental conflict
• Absence of noncustodial
parent
• Change in parenting style
• Dealing with new siblings
• Interacting with the stepparent
• Changes in custodial parent
availability
• The number and complexity of
transitions experienced have a
great impact on adjustment.
Harmful Games
Parents Play
• Loyalty choices
• Co-parent/stepparent put-downs
• Encouraging child to engage in conflict
with other parents
Harmful
Games
Parents Play
• Time with child as
reward or punishment
• Using money to
manipulate
• Using the child as a
messenger or spy
• Females:
Impact of
Gender
– Harder time adjusting.
– View the stepfather as
breaking the bond
between mother and
daughter.
– Less likely to talk to
stepfathers.
– More likely to avoid or
withdraw from the
stepfather.
Impact of Age
• Younger children experience fewer
adjustment problems.
• Children age nine and older have a greater
likelihood of maladjustment.
• About 1/4 to 1/3 of teens in stepfamilies
disengage from their families, spending
little time at home.
• Teens more likely display externalizing
behaviors and internalizing symptoms.
Common
Behavioral
Problems
Following
Parental
Remarriage
• Aggressiveness
• Noncompliance
• Academic struggles
• Difficult adjustment
in school
• Disruptions in peer
and dating
relationships
Predictors of Behavioral
Problems in Children
•
•
•
•
•
•
Parental and family conflict
Parental loss
Economic hardship
Poor maternal well-being
Negative parenting style
Life and family stress
Protective
Factors for
Children
•
•
•
•
Losses mourned
Realistic expectations
A strong unified couple
Establish constructive
rituals
• Satisfactory steprelationships
• Separate households
cooperate
Stepparents & Stepchildren
• Do not consider stepparents to be
equivalent to their biological parents.
• Prefer the stepparent function as more of
a friend than a parent.
• Stepmothers experience more resistance
from stepchildren and have a harder time
adjusting than stepfathers.
Stepfamily Discipline
• The biological parent should remain
the primary disciplinarian.
• When the biological parent is not
present, the stepparent acts as a
visiting aunt or uncle – enforcing the
house rules.
Stepfather
Issues
• Stepfathers are usually
less involved in decisionmaking and punishment
than are biological
fathers.
• Children who have a poor
relationship with their
stepfather may have
lower self-esteem.
Stepfather & Stepdaughter
Issues
• Interactions are more negative than those
between stepfather and stepson.
• Girls are more likely to:
– Treat stepfather as an intruder.
– Act in avoidance or withdrawal.
– Initiate conflict.
– Resist stepfathers’ expectations for
authority and control.
Impact on
the
Remarried
Couple
• Stepparent-stepchild
relationship quality strongly
impacts the marital
relationship.
• Ambiguity about stepparent
roles often contributes to
problems.
Impact on the Remarried
Couple
• Different boundaries and subsystems are
formed within the stepfamily.
• Stepparents find it difficult to impact and
relate to the biological parent/child
relationship.
• Marital problems may be perceived differently
by each spouse.
• New spouses may feel threatened by their
partner’s contact with a previous spouse.
Ideas to
Remember
When
Working
with
Stepfamilies
1. Don’t try to mold the
stepfamily into the
image of a first-family.
2. Be aware of the impact
the stepparent-stepchild
relationship can have
on the family.
3. Encourage parents and
children to discuss the
appropriate role for the
stepparent.
Bonus Families:
• www.bonusfamilies.com/
Family Transitions:
• www.childreninthemiddle.com
Websites
National Stepfamily Resource
Center:
• www.stepfamilies.info
Stepfamily in Formation:
• www.stepfamilyinfo.org
Stepfamily Zone:
• www.stepfamily.asn.au
Questions