Transcript Suggestions for Teaching Elaboration Adapted by Kristine Gooding from: OSPI Instructional Support Materials for Writing.

Suggestions for
Teaching
Elaboration
Adapted by Kristine Gooding from:
OSPI Instructional Support Materials for Writing
Purpose
• To share teaching strategies that will help students
develop a piece of writing that elaborates on a
single idea and addresses the needs and interests
of a particular audience.
• Elaboration is critical for clear and effective
writing.
Alignment with K-2 GLE for Writing
EALR 3: The student writes clearly and effectively.
Component 3.1: Develops ideas and organizes writing.
GLE
3.1.1
K
1
2
Analyzes ideas, selects topic,
and adds detail.
Analyzes ideas, selects topic,
adds detail, and elaborates.
Analyzes ideas, selects topic,
adds detail, and elaborates.
•Draws and labels pictures.
•Dictates ideas that match pictures
to a scribe when necessary.
•Uses words and pictures to
express ideas.
•Uses multicultural picture books
as models to generate ideas.
•Develops ideas for topics orally
and visually (e.g., discusses, draws,
•Develops list of specific topics for
writing (e.g., playing with a pet or
and/or writes to develop ideas).
•Develops and chooses from a list
of general topics for writing (e.g.,
pets, friends, favorite places).
•Elaborates on ideas using
descriptive words and phrases (e.g.,
My yellow striped cat jumped on my
bed.).
•Selects title for a piece of writing.
friend).
•Selects from a list of specific
topics for writing.
•Maintains focus on a specific
topic (e.g., writes and draws in a science
journal about scientific observations
such as the life cycle of a plant or
animal).
•Includes supporting information
(e.g., adjectives, explanatory sentences,
examples, and personal experiences).
•Selects appropriate title for a
piece of writing.
Alignment with 3-5 GLE Writing
EALR 3: The student writes clearly and effectively.
Component 3.1: Develops ideas and organizes writing.
GLE
3.1.1
3
Analyzes ideas, selects
topic, adds detail, and
elaborates.
• Selects from a wide range of
topics (e.g., friendship, volcanoes).
•Maintains focus on specific
topic.
• Provides details and/or
support (e.g., examples,
descriptions, reasons). • Uses
personal experience and
observation to support ideas.
•Develops characters, setting,
and events in narratives.
• Selects appropriate title for a
piece of writing.
4
5
Analyzes ideas, selects a
narrow topic, and elaborates
using specific details and/or
examples.
Analyzes ideas, selects a narrow
topic, and elaborates using
specific details and/or
examples.
• Narrows topic (e.g., from general
•Narrows topic with controlling idea
topic, such as “pets,” to specific topic, such
as “My dog is smart.”).
•Selects details relevant to the topic
to elaborate (e.g., adds detail to each
main point using more than one sentence;
uses specific words and phrases, reasons,
anecdotes, facts, descriptions, and
examples).
• Uses personal experiences,
observations, and/or research to
support opinions and ideas (e.g.,
collects, organizes, and uses data to
support conclusions in math, science, or
social studies).
• Develops character, setting, and
events within plot when writing a
narrative.
(e.g., from general topic, such as baseball, to
specific topic, such as “The Mariners are my
favorite baseball team.”).
•Selects details relevant to the topic to
extend ideas and develop elaboration
(e.g., specific words and phrases, reasons,
anecdotes, facts, descriptions, examples).
•Uses personal experiences,
observations, and research to support
opinions and ideas (e.g., data relevant to
the topic to support conclusions in math,
science, or social studies; appropriate
anecdotes to explain or persuade).
• Varies method of developing
character (e.g., dialogue) and setting (e.g.,
through the eyes of a character) in
narratives.
Alignment with K-2 GLE Writing
EALR 3: The student writes clearly and effectively.
Component 3.2: Uses appropriate style.
GLE
3.2.2
K
1
2
Uses a variety of words.
Uses a variety of words.
Uses a variety of words.
•Builds a rich vocabulary through
talking, listening, and language
activities.
•Uses words from environmental
print (e.g., stop signs, cereal boxes,
•Builds a rich vocabulary through
listening, talking, signing, writing,
and language activities.
• Uses descriptive words (e.g., color
•Builds a rich vocabulary through
listening, talking, writing, and
language activities.
• Uses descriptive words (e.g., color
logos).
•Uses classroom resources (e.g.,
word walls, name charts, labels, other
student/teacher-generated resources).
words, sensory words, size words).
•Uses classroom resources (e.g.,
personal dictionaries, word walls, other
student/teacher-generated resources).
words, sensory words, size words).
• Uses classroom resources (e.g.,
personal dictionaries, word walls, other
student/teacher-generated resources).
Alignment with 3-5 GLE Writing
EALR 3: The student writes clearly and effectively.
Component 3.2: Uses appropriate style.
GLE
3.2.2
3
4
5
Uses language appropriate
for a specific audience and
purpose.
Uses language appropriate for
a specific audience and
purpose.
Uses language appropriate for
a specific audience and
purpose.
•Selects specific words (e.g., hollered
vs. said) and specialized vocabulary
•Uses precise words (e.g., vivid verbs
•Uses precise language (e.g., powerful
(e.g., transparent vs. clear).
• Selects interesting and effective
words from various sources (e.g.,
multicultural literature, television,
environmental print, cultural
background).
• Uses literary devices (e.g.,
onomatopoeia, alliteration).
— screeched, hovered, absorbed; specific
nouns — granite, longhouse, cedar).
•Uses specialized vocabulary in
informational writing (e.g., tessellate,
parallelogram, butte, carbohydrate).
• Uses literary and sound devices
(e.g., similes, personification, and
alliteration).
verbs, specific descriptors).
•Uses formal, informal, and
specialized
•language (e.g., photosynthesis, ratio,
expedition) appropriate for audience
and purpose.
• Uses literary and sound devices
(e.g., similes, personification, rhythm).
•Selects words for effect.
Alignment with GLEs - Writing
EALR 3: The student writes clearly and effectively.
Component 3.2: Uses appropriate style.
GLE
3.2.3
3
Uses more than one sentence
type and structure.
•Writes a variety of sentence
beginnings (e.g., starts with an adverb:
“Quickly, the snake slithered away.”).
•Writes a variety of sentence
lengths.
•Writes a variety of sentence
structures (e.g., “I went outside. The
streets were muddy after the storm
ended.”).
•Writes a variety of sentence types
(e.g., declarative, imperative,
exclamatory, interrogative).
•Writes free verse poems with
repeated sentence beginnings.
4
Uses a variety of sentences.
•Writes a variety of sentence
beginnings (e.g., starts with an
introductory adverb clause: “If you want
to see an ant up close, you should use a
magnifying glass.”).
•Writes a variety of sentence
lengths.
•Writes a variety of sentence
structures (e.g., “My dog enjoys music
and howls when we listen to certain
songs. It makes me laugh. After his song
is over, I give him a treat.”).
•Writes song lyrics with a specific
rhythm.
5
Uses a variety of sentences.
•Writes a variety of sentence
lengths.
•Writes a variety of sentence
beginnings (e.g., starts with a participial
phrase: “Laughing loudly, they walked
down the hall.”).
•Writes a variety of sentence
structures (e.g., “Tran, busy with his
homework, didn’t hear the telephone at
first. Although he wanted to keep
working, Tran took the call. He kept it
short.”).
•Writes with a rhythm pattern.
Alignment with GLEs - Writing
EALR 3: The student writes clearly and effectively.
Component 3.2: Uses appropriate style.
GLE
3.2.3
K
1
2
Understands sentence
fluency.
Understands sentence
fluency.
Uses more than one sentence
type and structure.
•Listens to and discusses different
sentence structures in read-alouds
•Participates in shared
reading/writing of poems, songs,
chants, and prose.
•Uses simple and some compound
sentences.
•Writes a variety of sentence
beginnings (e.g., starts with a
(e.g., “Do you notice that some sentences
are short and some are long?”).
•Participates in shared
reading/writing of poems, songs,
chants, and prose.
prepositional phrase: “After recess, we
will start our writing workshop.”).
•Writes a variety of sentence
structures (e.g., “My best friend sat by
me at lunch. We talked as we ate our
burritos.”).
•Writes a variety of sentence types
(e.g., declarative, imperative, exclamatory,
interrogative).
•Writes poetry with patterns.
Links to the Writing WASL
 The quality of elaboration is directly related to
scores on COS portion. The best writing has
multiple layers of relevant elaboration.
 Specific layered elaboration was the most critical
element that differentiated between scores of “2”
and “3” and scores of “3” and “4.”
 Top scoring WASL papers show clear audience
awareness.
Elaboration Module Agenda
Session 1:

Defining Elaboration
Session 2:



Asking Questions that Lead to Elaboration
Recognizing Elaboration
Show, Don't Tell
Session 3:



Specific, Concrete Details versus General Language
Elaboration within Sentences
Criteria for Assessment
DEFINING
ELABORATION
What is Elaboration?
To tell the reader more using…
• Descriptions or Definitions
• Examples
• Anecdotes
• Facts or statistics
Using descriptions to elaborate…
Descriptions create vivid images for the reader.
When my room was a mess there were clothes that
my brother left on his bed and there were papers
all around the room. Toys, crayons, robots, and my
big robot were taken apart and bargain hunter
cards scattered everywhere. I didn’t make up my
bed. You think that was all? There was some food
around the room.
Develop your idea with description.
One day when I came home from school, my mom said go to your
room. But I said I never go in there. I could die. An avalanche of underwear
would fall on me. But she said get in there. Sure enough, an avalanche of
underwear fell on me. Boy, did it stink. When I got out of it, I said to myself
I’m going on a journey. I was going through a T-shirt tunnel when suddenly
around the corner I saw a snake. Good, it was only a rubber one. When I got
out of the T-shirt tunnel, I went into the sock domain. I walked around for a
few minutes when I turned a corner. I saw a lion, when it was only a stuffed
animal. When I got out, I went into a small thing called a pants city. When I
turned a corner and saw an alligator, I busted through the robes and ran
through the door. When I got out, I told my mom I’m never going in there
again. I was almost killed.
Description - your turn
• When describing something in writing show
don’t just tell your reader. Be specific and try to
create an image for your reader.
• Work with a partner to write a paragraph that
describes a room in your school. ELABORATE
using sensory details.
Using definitions to elaborate…
• Definitions are restatements of an unfamiliar
word or phrase to tell what it means. This sounds
like…
The best part of our hot lunch program is the A La Carte.
What I mean by A La Carte is the little deli line past the
lunch line where you can buy cookies, slushies, and candy
bars.
Develop your idea with a definition…
Dinosaurs
Animals are one of the most interesting things. But the animals that I
think are the most interesting are the dinosaurs. They are extinct, not
living anymore, but I still like them.
My four faivorite are the Triceratops, Stegasaurus, the Anklyasaurus and
Tyrannosaurus Rex. Why do I like these paticualar dinosaurs? Because
they have good protection.
Take the Triceratops for instance. It has three horns on it’s head. It was
one of the only dinosaurs that could beat Tyrannosaurus Rex.
Speaking of Tyrannosaurus Rex he was the most feared dinosaur. He had
six inch long teeth. I wonder if he brushed his teeth. Oh well.
Another well protected dinosaur was the Anklyasaurus. This dinosaur
had protection of a armed ball, like a hardshell, and sidespikes.
Definition - your turn
• Defining specific words shows an awareness of
audience.
• Talk to a partner about some educational “lingo”
used at schools. What would you do to define it
for parents?
Using examples to elaborate…
• Examples provide more specific information about
an idea. This sounds like…
The cats were all acting
like they were crazy. For
example, one jumped at
me with all …
We had a barrage of
different weather last week:
hail, rain, snow, and
sunshine.
My brothers always seem
to pick on me. For
instance, they may hide
my soccer shoes before a
game.
Develop your idea with an example…
The game of golf can be played for an entire
lifetime and also by yourself. People of any age can
go out and play a round of golf whenever they want
as opposed to team sports. For example, football,
soccer, and volleyball take an entire team of people
to play. How many times are you going to call up
ten or more of your friends and go play sports?
Examples - your turn
• Examples are an effective way to help the reader
understand your ideas.
• Tell your partner about a situation in your life
and provide him or her with an example.
Using an anecdote to elaborate…
• An anecdote is a short narrative inserted into an
essay that develops an idea. This sounds like…
Once when I was in middle school,
the kids would
always. . .
Hey, I remember the time when I
had to carry my . . .
Develop your idea with an
anecdote…
Rainy Day
A rainy day does not have to be boring... I say
it’s fun when you think of some games to play.
One rainy day last month, I played Hands Down
and I played girl talk with my sister. I also played
Hands Down with my family. It’s fun to play
games when it’s a rainy day. It can be fun, you can
play games like hide in seek on a riany day.
Games are fun to play inside on rainy days.
Anecdotes - your turn
• Think of someone you know that tells lots of
stories.
• This is another effective way to make or develop
an idea.
• Share some anecdotes with your partner.
Develop your idea with facts or
statistics…
Does Healthy Food Sound Disgusting?
Does healthy food sound disgusting? Well, it is not. Some fruits
and vegatables are very tasty. There are carrots, corn, celery, potatoes,
tomatoes, and lettuce, grapes, apples, oranges, strawberries, peaches,
and plums are good too. Yet fruits and vegatables aren’t the only
health food. Breads such as muffins, bagels, rolls, waffles, and
pancakes are good for you too. Meats and meat alternatives such as
nuts, chicken, eggs, and fish are wholesome for you. Dairy products are
immensely healthy for you. It’s still okay to eat ice cream and cake, but
don’t eat them so often. Why should you eat healthy food? The
problem is that if you eat junk food, you’re eating food you don’t’
need. Another thing that happens is that you can get very fat, 40% of
children are obese, but if you eat healthy food, you won’t get fat very
easily and you will have more energy. Even if you will be less popular,
tell your friends that eating right is much better.
Using facts or statistics to elaborate…
• Facts and statistics are the numbers (data) and
information that help support your idea. This
sounds like…
Mom, did you know that
98% of all my friends get
to stay up until 1:00 AM
on weekends?
Well, Son, did you know
that 3 out of 4 parents
would have grounded
you for staying out so
late?
Kids who smoke
at an early age are
prone to heart
attacks later in
life.
Facts and Statistics - your turn
• Talk to a partner about a statistic from your
school.
• Think of what statistics would convince an
audience.
• Share your idea with the group.
Before the next meeting, I agree to try
the following with my students…
• I will teach my students two techniques for
elaboration.
• Students will practice elaborating using the
techniques.
• I will bring three student samples to share at our
next meeting.