Transcript pps

MANAGING INTER-PERSONAL
RELATIONS AT WORK
DR.DALEEP PARIMOO
No matter how hard you work or how many
brilliant ideas you may have, if you can’t
connect with the people who work around
you, your professional life will suffer.
How we deal with others can
greatly influence our
professional and personal lives,
improving these skills builds
confidence and enhances our
relationships with others.
affiliations
social associations
between two or more people
connections
Interpersonal Relationships vary in
differing levels of intimacy and
sharing, implying the discovery or
establishment of common ground,
and may be centered around
something(s) shared in common.
FORMALITY: the amount of distance between the
people defines the type of relationship, from formal
to intimate.
 ACCESSIBILITY:
the openness, willingness to
exchange information (self-disclosure).
 RECIPROCITY: certain behaviors are called for in
the relationship and others are prohibited; each
person has expectations which must be fulfilled.
 COMMITMENT: the degree to which each person is
uniquely a part of the relationship; the
interchangeableness of the people.
 SPONTANEITY: the freedom or lack of freedom to
engage in spontaneous behaviors, free of role
expectations of the other.

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
It takes a combination of
Self-awareness,
Self confidence,
Positive personal impact,
Outstanding performance,
Communication skills and
Interpersonal competence
to succeed in career and life.




Becoming self-aware is the first step to improving
our interpersonal effectiveness.
Most of our behaviours are natural for us.
We aren't aware of the impact these behaviours
have on others. That leaves us with "blind spots"
that others don't want to mention to us because
they don't want to hurt our feelings, they are afraid
of a reaction from us, or they just don't care.
Through self-awareness we learn what impact our
behaviours - both positive and negative - have on
others. That knowledge helps us become more
effective in our interactions with others.

Once we become self-aware we can
examine and change behaviours that
need changing. The option is our own.
So are the consequences. When we
choose to seek ways to modify our
undesirable behaviours we begin the
process of self-regulation. This is a
conscious process through which we
may ask for input from our family, trusted
coworkers or friends, or a professional
therapist.

SELF-CONFIDENCE:
Sureness about one’s selfworth and capabilities



Do you know how other people see you? When you
leave a meeting or end a conversation, what
impression do you leave behind? What picture do
other people have of you? How do you think they
perceive you?
We impact on others through our opinions, the
amount we contribute, the sound of our voice, the
effect of our silence, the expressions we use.
Personal impact is about other things apart from
your looks of course. Improving your posture,
knowing how to shake hands properly, having good
manners, not fidgeting and controlling your nerves in
meetings, looking friendly and confident.
 What
ever you
do it to the best
of your ability.
 “DO
it with thy
MIGHT!” (MICO’s
Motto)
Interpersonal communication can mean
the ability to relate to people in written
as well as verbal communication. This
type of communication can occur in
both a one-on-one and a group
setting. This also means being able to
handle different people in different
situations, and making people feel at
ease.
Active listening,
 Giving and receiving criticism,
 Dealing with different personality types,
and
 Nonverbal communication.

1.
2.
3.
Interpersonally competent people:
Are self aware. They use this awareness
to better understand others and to
adapt their behaviour accordingly.
Build and nurture strong, lasting,
mutually beneficial relationships.
Resolve conflict in a positive manner.
(Bilanich)
A set of behaviours which allow you to
communicate effectively and
unambiguously in a face-to- face setting
 They can also be thought of as
behaviours which assist progress towards
achieving an objective

We all have interpersonal skills.
We CONSTANTLY learn these skills through
out our lives.
We learn how people are likely to react to
what we say and do. How these actions are
likely to make them, and us, feel.
People with good interpersonal skills have
learnt to identify which are the best ways of
interacting with others in different situations.
Interpersonal skills are the skills
we use to interact or deal with
others. Interpersonal skills are
sometimes also referred to as
communication skills, people
skills and/or soft skills.

Interpersonal relationship skills help us to
relate in positive ways with our family
members, colleagues and others. This
may mean being able to make and
keep friendly relationships as well as
being
able
to
end
relationships
constructively
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
There are just six interpersonal skills which
form a process that is applicable to all
situations:
Analyzing the situation
Establishing a realistic objective
Selecting appropriate ways of behaving
Controlling your behaviour
Shaping other people's behaviour
Monitoring our own and others' behaviour
Analyzing the situation helps us to set
realistic objectives
 Establishing objectives, in turn, provides the
context in which to make choices about
how best to behave
 By being conscious of our own behaviour in
working towards the achievement of
objectives we are more likely to influence
other people’s behaviour
 Constant
monitoring will provide the
feedback we need to make situationdependent adjustments

Good interpersonal skills
Interpersonal competence
1. Initiating relationships.
2. Self-disclosure.
3. Providing emotional support.
4. Asserting displeasure with others'
actions.*
5. Managing interpersonal conflicts.*

Most people want to be understood and accepted
more than anything else in the world. Knowing this
is the first step toward good communication. Good
communication has two basic components:
You listen to and acknowledge other people's
thoughts and feelings: Rather than showing that
you only care about broadcasting your feelings
and insisting that others agree with you, you
encourage others to express what they are thinking
and feeling. You listen and try to understand.
2. You express your own thoughts and feelings openly
and directly: If you only listen to what other people
are thinking or feeling and you don't express your
own thoughts or feelings, you end up feeling
shortchanged or "dumped on."
1.
There are four styles of communication:
›
›
›
›


passive
aggressive
passive-aggressive
assertive
Passive communication involves the inability or
unwillingness to express thoughts and feelings.
Passive people will do something they don't want
to do or make up an excuse rather than say how
they feel.
The aggressive style of communication involves
overreaction, blaming and criticizing. Aggressive
people try to get their way through bullying,
intimidating or even physical violence. They do not
or will not consider the rights of others.
Passive-aggressive is a combination of the
first two styles - they avoid confrontations
(passive), but will be manipulative to get
what they want (aggressive). Passiveaggressive people will sometimes use facial
expressions that don't match how they feel,
i.e. smiling when angry.
 Assertive behaviour involves standing up for
oneself. Assertive people will say what they
think and stand up for their beliefs without
hurting others.

Assertiveness, or confrontation, means
taking the initiative or first steps to deal with
a problem in a constructive, self-protective
manner. Assertiveness attacks the problem,
not the person.
 Aggressiveness attacks the other person
rather than the problem. It is a destructive
desire to dominate another person or to
force a position or viewpoint on another
person; it starts fights or quarrels.

Aggressive Communicator: Get to the
point right away. Speak directly and
clearly. Since aggressive types can be
brutally
honest
and
sometimes
inconsiderate, it is important to take
what they say with a grain of salt. Usually
their criticism and confrontational matter
isn't meant to be taken personally.
Passive Communicator: It can be
particularly frustrating to talk to a passive
communicator because they may seem
to not have any opinion of their own.
Though it may be frustrating, avoid being
pushy
or
confrontational.
Passive
communicators just need time to feel
comfortable with others.
Passive-Aggressive Communicator: Just as
passive-aggressive communicators are a
combination of two styles, an approach to
them must be a combination as well.
Recognize that talking to them might be
frustrating
like
with
the
passive
communicator (since they avoid conflict),
but it also important to not take anything
they say or do personally (like with the
aggressive types), because it may conflict
with what they say.
Many causes of conflict arise due to
miscommunication.
 Once
you understand your own
communication style pitfalls, you can
correct them and communicate more
effectively.
 Remember
“Aggression
breeds
Aggression”!
Conflict occurs in situations in which there is
opposition. Opposition occurs when a
solution cannot be found in a disagreement.
 Conflict is a disagreement through which the
parties involved perceive a threat to their
needs, well-being, interests or concerns.
 Perceive
a threat can be physical,
emotional, power, status, intellectual, etc.


Conflict is healthy and a normal part of
any human relationship.
Conflict resolution involves identifying
areas of agreement and areas of
compromise so that a solution to the
disagreement or conflict occurs.
 Running
away
 Being obliging to the other
party
 Defeating the other party
 Winning a little/ losing a little
 Co-operating
Use interpersonal
communication skills

I-statements help you express the way you feel and what you
want with great clarity. Sometimes people use "you"
statements, such as "You never collect the registers on time
and then we have to leave school late in the evenings
waiting for you!" This type of statement can make others feel
angry and defensive immediately. When you use Istatements, such as, "I really need to get the registers before
1:00 pm so that I can complete the attendance sheet and
leave school in time." you express your concern in terms of
you.

A respectful tone of voice conveys that you are taking others
seriously and that you also expect to be taken seriously. In
addition, people with good communication skills are assertive
without being aggressive or manipulative.

Eye contact is vital for good communication. For example,
how would you feel if the person you were talking to kept
looking around the corridor or out the window?

Appropriate body language encourages conversation.
Nodding your head, smiling, laughing, using words such
"yeah" , yep and like and asking questions at appropriate
times assure the person that you are really listening.

Clear, organized ideas help you accurately and honestly
describe your feelings and contribute to conversations and to
decisions that need to be made. Good communicators are
also specific. For example, a good communicator would say,
"I need to use the computer from 7-9," as opposed to "I'll need
the computer today."






Make sure that you remain calm at all times.
Speak with a non-provoking tone of voice; quietly,
slowly, and calmly.
Listen to the other person carefully without
interrupting them.
Respect the other person when voicing your own
opinion or point of view.
Let the other person know that you understand
them fully by asking questions pertaining to his or
her understanding and repeating what the person
is saying.
Use humour if possible.





Try placing yourself in the other person's shoes ( Have
empathy)
Try not to be judgmental. Do not do anything to
embarrass the other person. Do not accuse the other
person of anything. Also, do not punish or scold them.
Do not stand close to them. Stand a few feet away
from them.
Make sure that your posture, body language, and tone
of voice is non-threatening.
Do not talk with the other person in front of a group of
people. Go into an office or some other place to
discuss the situation. (Caution: Do not go into place
that will prevent you from receiving help if you need it.)







Make sure that what you say is simple, clear and direct.
Do not take anything the other person says personally
when he or she is angry, because they probably do not
mean it.
Make sure that you are not alone just in case the other
person becomes very hostile.
If you are having a heated argument with another
person, save your feelings and opinions for another time
and place.
Do not rush.
Let the other person know that you do not want to fight,
but that you want to resolve the situation in a friendly
manner.
Make sure that you apologize for anything you may
have said or done to offend them