Transcript Priest as Holy Listener

By
Father John Maxwell
“The Lord will hear when I call unto him.” (Psa
4:4)
 “Evening, Morning and at Noon will I pray, and
cry aloud; and he shall hear my voice.” (Psa
55:17)
 “I love the Lord because he has listened to my
voice and my supplication. Because he has
inclined his ear to me … (Psa 116:1-2)
 God is a discriminate listener

“The eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous and his
ears are open to their cry.” (Psa. 34:15)
 “If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not
hear me.” (Psa. 66:18)
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 Hear


the word of the Lord
“Hear O Israel .. The Lord our God is One God”
(Deut 6:4)
Wisdom let us attend, Let us Hear the Holy Gospel
 Priest

as Obedient Hearer (hypakoúō)
Priest is a discriminate listener.


“My Sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and
they follow me.” (John 10:27)
“And a stranger will they not follow, but will flee
from him, for they know not the voice of
strangers.” (John 10:5)
 “And
this I say, lest any man should beguile
you with enticing words”. Col 2:4
 “Beware lest any man spoil you through
philosophy and vain deceit, after the
tradition of men, after the rudiments of the
world, and not after Christ.” Col 2:8
 “Casting down imaginations, and every high
thing that exalteth itself against the
knowledge of God, and bringing into
captivity every thought to the obedience of
Christ” 2 Corinthians 10:5
“Ye are our epistle written in our hearts, known
and read of all men:” (2 Cor 2:2)
 “Each person is a word spoken to us by Christ
the Divine Logos – a word to which we in our turn
are invited to respond.” Fr Dumitru Staniloae
 Instruction: “My son, hear the instruction of thy
father, and forsake not the law of thy mother.”

(Prov. 1:8).
Counsel: “A wise man will hear, and will
increase in learning; and a man of understanding
shall attain unto wise counsels.” (Prov. 1:5)
 Correction: He that refuseth instruction
despiseth his own soul: but he that heareth
reproof getteth understanding. (Prov 15:22)

“You came down here to help us poor people.
You had enthusiasm and dedication and lots
of bright ideas. You knew what was needed
to be done and you went ahead and did it.
Only problem was, you never asked us. You
talked and talked to us and at us. But you
never listened. You never heard what we
said, you never asked our opinion. You made
us feel poorer and stupider than we already
felt. You want to help us? Then listen to us!”
Juliana Casey, Food for the Journey, p. 103
Priest as Listener of the Community
 Rooted
in Loving your Neighbor and Not
Judging your Brother
 Goal is Healing – Diagnostician
 Wounded Healer
 Relational
“Listening therefore, is a
crucial virtue for those
endowed and entrusted by
others with authority. Often
one will help others most not
so much by what one says
and advises, as by one’s
peaceful, silent presence and
attentive listening.”
Fr. John Chryssavgis, Soul Mending: The Art of Spiritual Direction, p. 106.
“Sometimes we need people because
the wounds are too deep to admit by
ourselves, the evil too painful to
confront alone. Sometimes we need
people to help us name and own our
past. We may need a gentle companion
who accompanies us on the spiritual
path, to whom we can express the pain
we feel, or the abuse we have suffered,
or the addiction which ensnares and
enslaves us.”
Fr. John Chryssavgis, Soul Mending: the Art of Spiritual Direction, pp. 10-11.
“You must not feel that way.”
“Everything will be okay.”
“God won’t give you more than you can bear.”
“God just needed another angel in heaven.”
“Let’s pray.”
“That reminds me of the time ….”
“Here’s what I would do, if I were you, ...”
“ You’ll have other children.”
“You should be happy she is out of her
misery.”
“He wouldn’t want you to be upset.”
“I Know just how you feel.”
 Forming
your ideas before you actually hear
 Asking Why Questions
 Directive – Yes /But
 Fear – we won’t know what to say
 Feared – The one who wants to divulge is
afraid of rejection
 Cold or Harsh Demeanor: “Severity and
harshness never changes anyone.”
St. John Cassian cited in Joseph Allen, Inner Way, p. 53.
“Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thine heart
be hasty to utter any thing before God: for God is in
heaven, and thou upon earth: therefore let thy words
be few.” (Ec 5:2)
 “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be
swift to hear, SLOW to speak, SLOW to wrath.” (James
1:19)
 “He that hath knowledge spareth his words: and a man
of understanding is of an excellent spirit.” (Pr. 17:27)
 “Seest thou a man that is hasty in his words? there is
more hope of a fool than of him.” (Pr. 29:20)

Smart people hide their
knowledge, but stupid people
show off their ignorance.
Pro. 12:23
 Conscious
effort to enter into the other’s
world.
 It enables the other to express her
feelings, thought and behaviors.
 It facilitates a sense of community and
relationship.
 It places the other on a path of self
discovery.
 It diffuses strong emotions and brings a
sense of peace.
 Hear
Every Word rather than thinking about
what your will say.
 Be Comfortable with Silence.

Use of the Pause
 Hear
the Message behind the Message.
 Listen for the Parable.
 Have healthy sense of Skepticism
 Interpretive Listening
 Reflective Listening
 Tell
me more
 What are your options?
 What do you want me to pray about?
 Perception checks …. I think you are saying is
 You seem terrified …



Is there anything more?
What do you think would help you avoid this sin?
Not over listening



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Stages in life time confession
Affirmation and Encouragement
Opinions rather than Commands
Student rather than the teacher

“Elder Paisios suggested that a pastor should not speak
as a teacher or a superior, but like a humble student who
recalls the sayings of holy father for similar situations.”
Father Alexis Trader, Ancient Christian Wisdom and Aaron Beck’s Cognitive Therapy, p.
154

Correct with gentleness

If a rebuke is necessary it should be done “with great
gentleness and great prudence.” St John Chrysostom,
Commentary on 1st Corinthians 44.3
Listen to the:
Pain behind the words
Fear behind the aggression
Insecurity behind the rigidity
Guilt behind the compensation
Be careful with your words
“A soft answer turneth away wrath: but
grievous words stir up anger.” Prov. 15:1
“Better will the body bear unsuitable
medicines than the soul unsuitable
words.” St John Chrysostom Commentary on Colossians 11
 Trust
that your calm presence is enough
 Job’s friends



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They sympathize and comforted him”
They wept and mourned with him
They sat in silence with him for 7 days
Eliphaz the Temanite


Bildad the Shuhite


You must have sinned in someway.
If you would just repent, then God will take away the
suffering
Zophar the Naamathite

This was just God’s will
 Your
are important to me
 Your words and feelings are important to me
 I give you the space to express yourself