Transcript CARING FOR THE CAREGIVER

CARING FOR THE
CAREGIVER
What were you thoughts and
feelings while listening to the
story?
Take a moment to connect
with yourself
Caretaker
• How often do you place the needs of another
over your own?
• How often do you need to fix the situation or
person?
• Is the only time you feel whole when you are
helping out? (It fills an internal void.)
• Do you often feel exhausted/tired?
• Do you feel you have failed as a caretaker?
• Do you tend to criticize others and yourself?
• Do you blame others for not being as
involved as you are?
Caregiver
• Do you have the ability to care for yourself
and your family first, and only then assist
those in need? (It is this very act that allows
you to care for others in a healthy manner.)
• Can you give care regardless the outcome?
• Do you have peace of mind and do not feel
that you are the only one that can fix the
situation?
Caregiver
• You can BE with another person without
trying to “rescue” them?
• Are you alert not to take away the power of
choice from others, "for their own good"?
• Do you empower others to exercise their
choices and to take action?
• Do you celebrate other caregivers’ success?
• Are you unconditional in your acceptance of
others?
The mouse
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Willing to do everything.
“Don't worry about me!" ...
“I don't mind" ... "of course I will..."
S/he usually is a reluctant listener and tends
to be cranky or irritable.
Make others jealous or nervous because of
their energy level.
Maintain constant activity as a way of
avoidance.
Real feelings of pain are suppressed or
anxiety of any situation is denied.
The elephant
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Everything is going to be fine" …
"I'm too busy" ...
"You are better than that."
Prefers not to be involved and tends to down
play the seriousness of the situation.
Insists that everyone else in the situation be
over reacting.
Is never available to help out .
This uncaring attitude is a mask for their fear
for their not knowing what to do or how to
respond.
The lion
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S/he is always the expert: Full of
advice and criticism.
"You're not doing it right"... "Let me handle
this" ... "I know about this".
Resists other peoples’ opinions.
This authoritative approach is the only way
they feel some sense of control over
an unpredictable situation.
The turtle
Refuses to show signs of stress
or tension.
Hides emotions.
"I'm doing fine." ... "I don't want to talk about it
any more”..."There isn't anything wrong".
Isolates themselves and tend to be moody.
• May experience insomnia and increased
dependency on drugs or alcohol.
• Gets irritated by the small things.
• Withdrawal and denial are the ways they
avoid acknowledging and expressing their
emotions.
YELLOW FLAGS
GUILT
• RETROSPECTIVE GUILT: GUILT FOR
'MISTAKES'
• POWERLESS GUILT: GUILT FOR
BEING SELFISH OR INCOMPETENT
DEALING WITH GUILT
• Evaluate, learn and move on
• Guilt does not change anything - it is
a trap and produces nothing more
than apathy and inaction.
• Be realistic and recognize your
limitation in any situation.
• Keep your sense of humor.
ANGER
Anger is a defensive response
(reaction) to pain.
If there is no response to pain (physical or
emotional), pain becomes cumulative and
devastating.
Anger is inherently an action against or towards the
source of pain.
If managed constructively, anger can be the tool,
which allows the caregiver to continue to give,
despite the pain and suffering inherent in the task at
hand.
DEALING WITH ANGER
STEP 1 - RECOGNISE THE VALIDITY OF ANGER
STEP 2 - RECOGNISE THE DESTRUCTIVE NATURE
OF FAILING TO DEAL WITH YOUR ANGER
Do not bottle, displace or dump your anger
STEP 3 - FIND HEALTHY WAYS OF DEALING WITH
YOUR ANGER
DEPRESSION
Depression and exhaustion
Depression as a mask for:
Anger
Guilt
Loss
Disillusionment
DEALING WITH
DEPRESSION
Normalize the response
Identify, acknowledge and express
your emotions
Set boundaries and shed your role
GRIEF
• Grief is a normal part of loss.
• It is part of the process
of letting go.
• We each grieve in our
own way, in our own
time frames.
GRIEF WHEEL
IMPACT
REORGANISATION
SHOCK
PROTEST
DISORGANISATION
SELF CARE
• KEEP THE FIRE BURNING