Transcript Some Psychology for Preachers

Some Psychology for Preachers
Sources of guilt feelings [1]
• • Falling short of others’ or your own
expectations.
• • Not forgiving yourself
• • Being guilt tripped by others, who often
unconsciously try to get others to join in their
scheme- Martha guilt tripping Mary for not
helping enough with the cooking, and seeking
to get Jesus involved in the trip, is a classic.
Sources of guilt feelings [2]
• • Oversensitive or dysfunctional conscience. Parts of our conscience
are learnt within our upbringing or culture, leading us to feel guilty
for some things which aren’t sinful.
• Survivor guilt- feeling guilty that you survived when others did
not, or feeling guilty about what you had to do to survive.
• The experience of temptation can make us feel guilty. But Jesus
was perfect despite being tempted in all points like as we are (Heb.
4:15,16).
• • We may confuse guilt with shame. Shame is related to falling
short of others’ expectations, that’s all. It may be that in early
childhood we were shouted at by our mother one Summer for
taking our clothes off and walking naked on the balcony. Perhaps
she said: “Shame on you!”. And every time we take our clothes off
outside in Summer- we may be tempted to feel shame.
Dealing with the Past [1]
• 1)Thank God for His gifts given. When Joseph
told his brothers about how far God had
advanced him in Egypt (Gen. 45), this wasn’t
bragging, but rather a deep gratitude which
had helped him deal with his past. Some are
so focused on the damage done to them that
they need our assistance in perceiving God’s
gifts / grace to them.
Dealing with the Past [2]
• 2) Recognize that sometimes God doesn’t heal
us. Other times, as with Joseph remaining in
prison for another two years after he had
interpreted the cupbearer’s dream, God
delays the time of healing. He knows best.
Dealing with the Past [3]
• 3) Share the memory with God. This involves
returning to the memory of the original event
causing the problem. This will arouse the
emotions, and they need to surface for them
to be healed. Encourage the person to speak
and write about the original memory.
Dealing with the Past [4]
• 4) Replace the hurt with love by forgiving
those involved in the painful memory. This
forgiveness has to be given unconditionally
and irrespective of repentance. The focus then
ceases to be on the hurt, but on change and
growth.
Dealing with the Past [5]
• 5) Become thankful for the memory, believing
that truly “all things work together for good”.
Look for the “good” in the situation. Joseph
clearly did this when he comforted his
brothers that “You meant it for evil, but God
intended it to save lives” (Gen. 50). In this way
we can do as Paul said and modelled in 1
Thess. 5: “Give thanks in all circumstances, for
this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus”.
Interpersonal Conflict
Myths About Suicide
• “• People who talk about suicide never do it—they just want attention.
False. Not everyone who talks about suicide actually does it, but most
people who commit suicide do tell
someone before doing so—as a cry for help. Any serious statement about
suicide is a real danger signal and should not be ignored.
• Adolescents are much more likely to commit suicide than adults. False.
The adolescent suicide rate is about the same as adult rates. The people
most at risk for suicide are older
males, someone such as the retiring teacher.
• People are more likely to commit suicide around the Christmas holidays,
not in the spring of the year (when the school year is ending). False. The
holidays have one of the lowest suicide rates, and spring has the highest.
• One should not mention suicide when talking to depressed people
because it may give them ideas. False. Such people often have such
thoughts already and should be encouraged to express them. In fact,
talking about it may discourage people from doing it”.
Stages in Bereavement
• Initial shock
• A period of anger and the need for
support from others.
• A more intense period of grieving, often
involving despair, withdrawal and
disorganization.
• A period of recovery leading to the
resumption of normal life.
• 1 Cor. 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is
sanctified in the wife, and the unbelieving
wife is sanctified in the brother: else were
your children unclean; but now are they holy.
Depression
• About 1 in 5 women and 1 in 10 men
experience clinical depression at some time in
their lives.
• The Bible talks a lot about the need for
fellowship, of having many counsellors or
close spiritual friends (Prov. 11:14; 12:15;
13:10; 15:22; 20:18; 24:6)
Disorders
• Cognitive therapy for “All or none” problems:
• - Assuming the house will flood because one
tap is slightly leaking into the bath tub
• - “I’m afraid of dogs, they always bite me”
• - “I can no longer drive after the accident”
Giving a Bible talk
• The Need is the Call
• Consider your Audience
• Teaching Style: Mark 4:33: Jesus taught the
word to the people as they were able to hear
it
• To the Glory of God