Strategies to Reduce Bullying and Teasing

Hans Asperger (1944)

• Autistic children are often tormented and rejected by their classmates simply because they are different and stand out from the crowd. Thus, in the playground or on the way to school one can often see an autistic child at the centre of a jeering horde of little urchins. The child himself may be hitting out in blind fury or crying helplessly. In either case he is defenceless.

The Advantages and Disadvantages of Integration • • Peers that interact in a ‘maternal’ way being protective and kind.

Peers that interact as ‘predators’ with malicious intentions someone who is an obvious and easy target.

What Is Bullying?

• • A power imbalance, intent to harm (physically or emotionally) and a distressed target.

4 to 9 years, physical aggression to same sex peers.

What Is Bullying?

• • Increase in verbal and emotional bullying (girls) in the High School years.

Verbal or physical confrontation.

What Is Bullying?

• • Intimidation, injury, destruction of personal property, derogatory gestures and comments, mocking, humiliation, sarcasm and malicious gossip.

Peer shunning or social exclusion.

What Is Bullying?

• • • Teasing and practical jokes.

Steal a possession and torment the child as he or she tries to retrieve it.

If an adult committed such acts, lose a job or a criminal conviction for assault.

Unusual Act of Bullying Experienced by Children With Asperger’s Syndrome • • • • Being naïve, trusting and eager to be part of a group.

Inappropriate or bizarre suggestions (Penny at school).

Being set up.

Benefits of the target’s response (virtuous victim or to avoid an activity or exam).

• An apparently friendly act (Luke Jackson being pushed backwards).

Friendly or Not Friendly?

Nita Jackson

• • They would approach me – the short, timid fat girl – at break time, saying how guilty they felt for taunting me and asking me to accept a seemingly unopened packet of crisps, can of fizzy drink or bag of chips as a token of apology. They would stand around while I reached into the bag of crisps (which I suddenly noticed were already open but thought nothing more of it) or chips, shoved a huge handful into my mouth and chomped…and chomped until I suddenly noticed a tingling sensation inside my mouth. The tingling sensation grew and before I knew it my whole mouth was burning – the kids had sprinkled the crisps or chips with hellishly spicy curry powder.

But it was the cans of drink that were the worst. The bullies would put ants, worms, maggots or even wasps in the drinks. Fortunately, I never got stung by the wasps, but I did swallow a few ants, maggots and worms.

AS Responses to Bullying

• • • • • Three Strikes.

Lack of ability to defend oneself when being accused.

Ignore until the person can cope no longer.

The Bully did not read the signals.

Taking the law into their own hands.

Where Does Bullying Occur?

• • • • • • Hallways.

School transport.

During sports.

Locations where the incident is less likely to be detected.

Close to home by children of neighbors, family friends and relatives.

Usually occurs with a peer audience or bystanders.

Why Are Children With AS More Likely to Be a Target?

• Passive Targets: Physically weaker, signs of anxiety, low self-esteem, insecure, shy, solitary pursuits, not successful at sports, no extensive network of friends. Relinquish money, food, possessions, less likely to retaliate with anger or be supported by peers.

Why Are Children With AS More Likely to Be a Target?

• Proactive Targets: Poor social skills, perceived as intrusive, irritating by peers and adults. Socially clumsy, inappropriate behaviour (wrestling) attention seeking or dominating, not recognizing when to stop. Response of ‘he deserved it’ ‘it was the only way to stop him’

Why Are Children With AS More Likely to Be a Target?

• • • • Seeking and needing solitude.

Eccentric.

Low status and ‘poor’ in the currency of friendship.

Not ‘cool’.

Why Are Children With AS More Likely to Be a Target?

• • • Few friends prepared to come to their defense.

Yet more likely to intervene in defense of others).

Not good at characterization skills (‘radar’ identification and avoidance.

• The fact is, at the end of the day, if your speech is odd and posture awkward and you’re not even aware of that, only that you know you don’t have the “gift of the gab” then the chances are your face is not going to fit. It’s like the child with glasses or who is fat, but ten times worse.

Research Survey (Little 2002)

• • • • • • Completed for over 400 children with AS.

Rate of bullying four times higher than for peers.

Occurs in 90% of children with AS.

Greater incidence of shunning.

One in 10 adolescents a victim of a peer gang attack.

Non-sexual genital assault.

Research on Bullying in Typical Children

• • • • • 5% engage in bullying.

10% of children are targets.

Bullying actions are covert.

15% observed in the classroom by a teacher, only 5% in the playground.

Motivation of bullies is complex but includes enjoying power and control, to feel better and create self-esteem and to be ‘cool’.

Research on Bullying in Typical Children

• • • • Lack empathy for the target, tend to defy authority.

Can be children who have academic success.

Poor social skills but create an entourage of fearful associates as a substitute for real friends.

To be a comedian and make an audience laugh (a ‘fall guy’).

The Signs of Being Bullied

• • Does the child with AS know that they are a target?

Less likely to tell someone.

The Signs of Being Bullied

• • Physical evidence: lost or damaged possessions, torn clothing.

Medical evidence: bruising and injuries, stomach aches and sleep.

The Signs of Being Bullied

• Psychological evidence: increased anxiety, school avoidance, depression, responding violently to teasing or bullying.

The Signs of Being Bullied

• • • A sense of paranoia.

A change in the special interest to weapons and violent films and drawing of retribution and retaliation.

Mimicking bullying at home with siblings.

The Effects of Being Bullied

• • • • • • Low self-esteem.

Anxiety and depression.

Low academic achievement.

Increased social isolation.

Suspension School refusal

Sanctuary

• “Safety exists for me only when I am by myself”

A Sanctuary

• • ‘For some people, lavatories are a special refuge, the only place in a school where privacy and solitude are possible (as long as you learn to cry silently) But they can also be sources of fear and stress, for both sensory reasons – shiny white ceramics, loud echoes, smells – and social reasons. In many school, lavatories are places where bullies can easily corner someone away from a teacher’s eyes” Clare Sainsbury Martian in the Playground

The Effects of Being Bullied

• • • A war zone and PTSD.

Stupid, psycho and gay.

Replaying the events to try and determine why they were the target and why someone would do that.

The Effects of Being Bullied

• • • • Cannot forgive or forget until they have closure and understand why.

Paranoia Effects last more than ten years.

Affects subsequent relationships

• When I wasn’t a target I was a reject. I remember how desperately I used to wish to be part of other children’s games where the grass was always greener. I used to wish I could take a bag of marbles to school, join in with the game and come home with more, instead of always losing them all to pirates and con-artists. Marc Segar.

Nita Jackson

• Despite being a loser in every sense, I maintained a belief that somehow I’d get my revenge. I devised elaborate plots, detailing how I’d do this. I drew pictures, I wrote stories. In my fantasy life I was victorious, courageous, strong and popular. I intended to achieve this by the time I reached my teens.

Nita Jackson

• But the courage never arrived, and my planned revenge never happened. Thirteen came miserably, and went, with me still a loner and a pathetic weakling, easily suppressed by the bullies and subservient to their demands – mute and grovelling like some unworthy slave to his master’s feet. I felt like less of a person and more of a corpulent object to be abused. I had the personality of a slug on valium, never uttering a word to my peers except ‘sorry’. I actually didn’t feel worthy to be liked.

Unusual strategies

• A girl wanting to be a boy to avoid being bullied by girls

Bad Memory by John

• My bad memory involves an injustice one day at recess. It was bullying of the worst kind of physical assault. It was almost like Ricky plans it. First students were distracted by a basketball game. Then Ricky, a 5 th grader, picked me up from the bench by my collar, and shook me. After that he shoved me into a tree which caused me to fall to the ground.

• While I was on the ground he kicked me in the gut. Then he hit me in the face with a dodge ball. My nose started gushing blood BAD, and he ran away. I told the teacher what happened, and she made Rick stand on the wall. However, he only had to be there 5 minutes which didn’t seem near long enough. Then I went inside sadly to wash my hands.

Strategies To Decrease The Frequency and Type of Bullying

• A team approach: Target, school administration, teachers, professionals, parents, other children, child who engages in bullying.

School and Class Policies and Agreements.

• • An agreed code of conduct.

Broad definition of Bullying.

In-service Training on Bullying for Staff.

• • • • • Staff education-consensus and consistency.

One person’s entertainment is another person’s act of bullying.

Concept of justice and appropriate punishment.

Degree of responsibility.

Assessment of all the facts from different sources.

A Map of the Safe and Vulnerable Places

• • Some areas to receive more supervision.

More safe-havens created.

Include The Silent Majority

• • • Regular meeting to review the code and violations and discuss strategies.

Information on the consequences for the person who bullies (friends, employment, criminal convictions, relationships) and the victim.

To rescue both parties.

Include The Silent Majority

• • • Bystanders to be assertive and to intervene.

Consequences for not intervening, encouragement to intervene.

Buddy with a social conscience and social status.

Avoid Vulnerable Situations

•

One day things just got too much to bear. I had tried to hide in the changing rooms away from my tormentors —I wish I had written my book then as I would have realized that hiding away is the worst thing to do. These two lads (low-lifes) found me and began toying with me in much the same way as a cat plays with a mouse

•

Don’t go to a quiet corner somewhere at school breaks. Try to be somewhere safe such as the library. I know it sounds strange but when you think you are hiding you are most likely to be found and bullied. AS kids are not good at working out how other people think. The best thing to do is stay with your friend if you have one, or at least a place where there are lots of people around

Strategies

• • • • Security is in numbers.

“Hide’ in a group of children or near children and adults.

Supervised activities at breaks such as a chess club or going to the library.

Congregate with like minded peers in the playground (the science club).

The Child Must Have a Response

• • • • Ignoring will make the situation worse.

Stay calm.

Assertive, true and constructive response.

“I don’t deserve this, stop it.”

The Child Must Have a Response

• • • • • • “I don’t like that, stop it.” Avoid telling a lie or using humour.

Walk away to a safe area.

An adult must explain why the incidents occur and monitor the child’s response and progress.

Comic strip Conversations and Social Stories.

The Scales of Justice Activity

Scales of Justice

Strategies

• • • • • Discover alternative responses. Value of disclosure.

Grievance book (recordings in triplicate).

Boasting Book to record successes.

Bibliotherapy.

Strategies

• • • • Internet for literature and strategies.

Telephone help lines.

Learn the school rules and the cool rules Changing school may not be a successful strategy.

• “Mom, I can’t tell when people are teasing me or being nice, but someday someone will really want to be my friend and I want to be available”.