Transcript Walking a Mile in Your Children's Shoes

Walking a Mile in Your
Children's Shoes
by
Joe Miller
Facilitator for Nurturing Parenting
Fairfax County Department of Family Services
Walking a Mile in Your
Children's Shoes
What Does That Mean?
 It Means that to get close to your
children you have to understand what
they are thinking.
 We call that Empathy.

Empathy in Nurturing Parenting
Has Three Components

Empathy has to do with the way parents
discipline their children. The way children are
treated shapes the way children will respond
to others in distress.
 The second part of empathy has to do with
the way parents respond to the emotions of a
child. Empathic responses honor the feelings
and let the child know their feelings are
accepted.
Empathy in Nurturing Parenting
Has Three Components(Cont.)

A third part of empathy is the ability of the
parent to be aware of children’s needs.
 A parent uses empathy to help children get
their needs met by understanding their
needs.
 Empathy helps parent understand what the
child feels and by doing so the parent can
help the child met their needs.
Needs Have Six Categories
Physical Needs. The need for food,
sleep, exercise, sex, air and water.
 Emotional Needs. The need for love,
PRAISE, security, trust and other basic
emotions.
 Social Needs. The need for friendship
and companionship.

Needs Have Six Categories
(Cont.)
Intellectual Needs. The need for
stimulation of new ideas or thoughts.
 Spiritual Needs. The need for
belonging and membership. The need
to believe in the power of goodness.
Membership in a family is a spiritual
experience.
 Creative Needs. The need to express
one’s inner self. Creative needs are
expressed in areas like a person’s
appearance, dress, dance, poetry and
cooking.

What Is It All About?
All children’s behavior is purposeful; that is, to
get some need meet.
 To get good behavior from a child, you should
meet their needs since they are much happier
when their needs are met.
 Praise is used to satisfy some of the needs
of the child and is also an excellent way to
build self esteem.

Being Raised By Praise

Praise is the single most powerful tool
parents can use to increase their child’s selfworth.
 There are two types of praise.
 Praise for Being means noticing and
appreciating a person.
 Praise for Doing means noticing and
appreciating a person’s efforts or
performance.
Being Raised By Praise (Cont.)
Never combine the goodness of a
person’s being with their efforts. Keep
the two separate.
 Example: No - I love you for working
hard.
Yes- I love you for being you.

Being Raised By Praise (Cont.)
Pay attention to the behavior you want,
and praise your child when they behave
that way.
 Accepting Praise from others is an
important part in recognizing your own
self-worth.
 Touch is a great way to show pleasure
by using it with praise for doing or
being.

When the Chips Are Down!
Strategies for Improving
Children’s Behavior.
by Richard Lavoie
Show Movie: When the Chips
Are Down.
The video is intended for Special
Educations Teachers and Learning
Disabilities and Discipline,
 But is also applicable to most parents
and their children in building self-worth
and improving the relationship with your
child.
 Let the movie begin!!!!

Thank you for Coming and
Learning More About
Nurturing Your Child
The End