Transcript Positive Student Discipline Fosters Character - ITEC-WM

Managing Difficult
Educational Situations
David W. Feenstra
Hudsonville High School
You will never know where your
influence starts or stops.
You are the Director of first
Impressions.
Educational Environment
Insanity is Doing the Same Thing
Over and Over Again and
Expecting a Different Outcome.
Don’t Stick It To Yourself
In every situation, ask who is
most comfortable and who is
least comfortable.
What are your HOT buttons?
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Always remember that Anger is a Choice.
You are the Educator.
You are the Professional.
They learn by your actions and words.
Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Schools need to be positive
niches- adventageous
environments that minimize
weaknesses and maximize
strengths and thereby help
students flourish.
Armstrong 2012
A Challenging student provides one of the best means for
reaching mastery in our fields- but only when teachers
themselves get support and safety, an when they are dealing
with situations in isolation. Bensen 2014
You May Not Always be Able to
Control What Life Puts in Your
Path, But You Can Always
Control Who You Are.
Precipitating Factors
Events that occur in our life that effect how
we interact and respond in social settings.
Acting out is usually a symptom of a bigger
problem.
People will forget what you say,
but they will never forget how you
made them feel.
Identify the Stages of Crisis
Development
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Anxiety- notice changes
Defensive - release and refusal
Acting Out - Loss of rational thought
Tension Reduction
Therapeutic Rapport
Verbal Escalation Continuum
Release
Disrespectful
Refusal
Intimidating
Threatening
The Four D’s of Conflict
Intervention
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Develop Positive Relationships.
Design an Environment for Success
De-escalating and Defusing
Debriefing for Rapport
Lose a Battle and Win the War
The trouble with most of us is that we
would rather be ruined by praise than
saved by criticism.
I am Sorry that IT happened.
You acknowledge the perceived
problem and ask the person for
possible solutions.
Be Professional
• Treat everyone with respect every day, all
the time.
• Earn the right to be listened to by listening
first.
• Be Non-judgmental.
• Never place a negative value on the difficult
person.
Know and Adhere to your
Policies and Procedures.
• Crisis Plan is written and practiced.
• Know when and how to engage in a
conflict.
• Develop and Maintain Systematic
Classroom Procedures.
Develop Positive Relationships
with All People
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Notice them.
Express a genuine interest in them.
Research their background.
Dignify them as Individuals.
Model the desired behaviors.
Identify the people that are likely
to cause you the most frustration.
Make authentic positive contacts
home on your three most challenging
students.
Empathic Listening
• Rule of three
• Listen carefully to what the person is really
saying (focus on feelings, not just facts).
• Allow silence for reflection
• Use restatement to clarify messages
See Anger and Frustration in
others as GOLDEN
OPPORTUNITIES to teach and
model NEW ATTITUDES!
MAKE THE POLICY OR THE
CONSEQUENCE THE “BAD
GUY.”
Share a practical example of this
strategy with someone else.
Teaching with Love and Logic
• Show sadness instead of anger.
• Always give the positive choice first and the
negative choice second.
• Delayed Consequences - We are going to
have to do something about it, but try not to
worry about it.
People will not care about how
much you know until they know
how much you care for them.
Be more concerned about making
people feel good about
themselves than making them feel
good about you.
Design an Environment for
Success
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Clean Slate
Team Approach - All Staff
Open Door Policy
Accentuate the Positive
Pride-O-Grams
Minimize the Negative
A Good Discipline Plan Allows
Students To:
• learn to predict consequences of their
behavior ahead of time.
• learn to accept responsibility for the
outcomes of their choices.
• learn from their mistakes.
• Attempt to control their OWN behavior
instead of that of others.
De-escalating and Defusing
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Active Listening
Use Humor
Be Non-judgmental
Read Between the Lines
Separate Who you are from Who the other person
is during a confrontation.
• focus on feelings.
Debrief for Rapport
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Isolate
Emotional State vs. Thinking State
Share the Control
Reality Therapy
Internal vs. External Locus of Control
Therapeutic Rapport
• Identify threshold stimuli- Cues
• Confront threatening and intimidating
statements.
• How do we avoid this conflict in the future?
• What can I do to help you in the future?
• Rational Detachment
People will Change only if we
honor who they are now and help
them discover how they might
become MORE content than who
they are now by making some
CHANGES.
Choices give people the
Opportunity to Make Decisions
and Experience Consequences
which will Help them feel
Empowered and Responsible.
One thing I know: The only ones
among you who will be truly
happy are those who will have
sought and found how to serve.
Albert Schweitzer
Comments, Questions, Hostilities
Identify one thing that you are going
to implement to help you to
effectively manage difficult people.
Dr. Todd Whitacker
[email protected]
www.eyeoneducation.com
LOVE AND LOGIC INSTITUTE
2207 JACKSON STEET
GOLDEN, COLORADO
80401-2300
Jeffrey Bensen
Hanging In
Strategies for Teaching the Students
Who Challenge Us Most.