Transcript Parenting with Influence

The Ultimate Parent
Guidebook
When and How
• "And how from infancy you have known the
holy Scriptures, which are able to make you
wise for salvation through faith in Christ
Jesus.“-2 Timothy 3:15
• the need to begin early
• the importance of using Scripture, not only in
language, but in living
• it is never too late and keep it biblical
The Ultimate Parenting Guide
• The Bible gives us six directives concerning
our parenting.
• We are to love, encourage,
provide for, comfort, discipline,
and train our children
Love
• intentional, sincere and unconditional love
• in spite of faults and immaturity (theirs and
ours)
• no matter what they do or our situation
• do not confuse love with appeasement. Love
is not bought, bribed, or bargained.
Encourage
• to support and endorse their achievements toward positive
goals
• efforts should always be first recognized and acknowledged
by their parents, not teachers or coaches
• Criticizing destroys self-esteem and makes them hesitant
about attempting further goals.
• Criticism hinders the maturing process. It causes children
not to trust their decision making process.
• For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals
with his own children, encouraging, comforting, and urging
you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his
kingdom and glory. 1 Thessalonians 2:11
Provide For
• to meet the needs of our children
• Material needs- food, clothing, and shelter
• Spiritual needs- a home not spiritually neutral or a
spiritual pick and chose. There is one God and He is
to be the object of worship in our homes. This is a
necessity that we are to provide for our children.
• If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and
especially for his immediate family, he has denied
the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
1 Timothy 5:8
Comfort
• an emotional link that allows us to show compassion and
bring comfort when they experience disappointment or hurt.
• Their hurts are very real to children and demand our
attention.
• An emotional link with our children does not mean that we
shelter them from disappointments and hurts. These are a
natural and necessary part of maturing.
• we should be able to sympathize with our children's hurts
and be able to help them, gently, to deal with it.
• As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you;
and you will be comforted over Jerusalem. Isaiah 66:13
Discipline
• to correct for the purpose of education
• The purpose of discipline is not solely for
punishment, but to guide behavior toward biblical
expectations.
• In discipline, correction and instruction merge for
the purpose of guiding children toward a life of
obedience to God.
• Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not
be a willing party to his death. Proverbs 19:18
Train
• Training is more than just verbal instruction, it
is guiding children by our lifestyles.
• It is impossible to properly train children
biblically if we are not living out this lifestyle
ourselves.
• Train a child in the way he should go, and
when he is old he will not turn from it.
Proverbs 22:6
The Commands
• These commandments that I give you today are to be
upon your hearts. Impress them on your children.
Talk about them when you sit at home and when you
walk along the road, when you lie down and when
you get up.
Deuteronomy 6:6-7
• The word impress means to sharpen like a knife. A
knife is sharpened intentionally to increase its
effectiveness. So it is with a child. Parents are to
train their children intentionally to increase their
spiritual effectiveness in a lost world.
Seven Practical Steps
1. Know your children. Talk to them. Be open with them. Be
honest with them. Give them only what they are able to
handle spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Know their
friends, their likes and dislikes, their school, their
personalities and what makes them tick. Be sure you are
meeting their physical, emotional, and spiritual needs.
2. Accept your children. Compliment them, correct them, but
don't condemn them. Discipline them when necessary. Do
not force your children to be what you wish you were.
3. Make time for your children. Your children are more
important than your job, tv, computer, paper, magazines,
books, videos, sports, and vacations. If you don't make the
time, you will never spend the time with them. Spending
time with your children lets them know that they are
important to you.
4. Train your children. Be a positive role model. If there are
certain habits you do not want your children to form, then
don't possess them. Model prayer, spiritual disciplines,
repentance, sensitivity, values, and dependency on Christ to
your children. Be very transparent with your children. They
will learn how to deal with sin by watching how you deal with
it.
5. Make your home Christ centered. Pray with and for your
children. Have a family devotion time. Read the Bible
together. The faith of your children will rise only as high as
your faith. Your children will not be serious about their faith if
you are not.
6. Take your children to church. They need exposure to the
Christian community.
7. Lead your children to Christ. Do all with the intention of
helping them develop a personal relationship with Christ. Be
able to recognize when they are ready to receive Christ and
be equipped to lead them through the appropriate Scriptures
and commitment.