The worse case of pastor burnout I have ever seen!

“Our organist is breaking in a new keyboard. She apologizes for the bossa-nova beat and flourish of kettledrums during that last hymn.”

Tough text, huh?

Giving credit where credit is due!!!!

In his never ending effort to attract the youth and further their spiritual growth, the youth leader thinks through his combination “Prayer Vigil” and “Banana Madness” activity.

“I’ve decided to return to organized religion. I cleaned my desk.”

tran

“Remember, Beauregard, you’re the pastor’s dog; all the other dogs will be watching you!”

“I’d like to thank my wife who is helping with today’s sermon!”

“Pastor, I figured out a way to get people to respect your privacy.”

“I’d like to begin a ten-part series on stewardship.”

Transcontinental Congrephobia

: the feelings even when you’re 1800 miles from home that one of your members is eavesdropping in the next booth.”

The pastor’s collection of very thin books.

“It’s increased our attendance 300 per cent.”

“Next year let’s buy two carnations for the oldest mother.”

“I hear he’s so old he has an autographed copy of the Bible!”

Pastor-turned-ventriloquist debuts at the annual business meeting.

“I told you Pastor Roberts hates Monday appointments.”

“Talking about Jesus is not name dropping.”

“Honey, I am picking up on your stress!”

“Well, I’ll be. They’re right; here it is: PERFECT, adj., complete in all respect; without defect or omission; like a pastor, his wife, and their children.

True, “Bubblin’ Bob” was packing them in. But how to keep the hymnbooks dry?”

“I think they’re taking their ‘No Ties – No Service’ policy a little too far.”

Geraldo Rivera enters religious broadcasting.

“You’re in a rut, preacher. Every time I come here, you preach about the Resurrection.”