Transcript Ch. 7 – Gender and Intimate Relationships

Ch. 7 – Gender and Intimate
Relationships
Robert Wonser
Gender and Family
• The word family is very telling.
• Family derives from the Latin word famulus,
which means “household servant or slave.”
• Historically, a man’s family—his wife, children and
slaves—along with his material possessions,
were defined by law as his property.
• Wife and children’s legal duty to serve him in
exchange for his economic support of them.
• As we’ll see, the defining characteristics of a
family are not marriage licenses but rather
emotional and financial ties.
Sociology Constructs the Family
• Parsons was a structural-functionalist
• Isolated nuclear family composed of a
husband, wife, and their dependent children
• Isolated because:
– Family members live apart from other relatives
– Each family unit is financially independent of other
relatives
– The family no longer performs many of its traditional
functions—education, care of the sick, production of
food and clothing—since these have been taken over
by public institutions.
Parsonsion Family
• Contemporary family has two vital functions:
• “first, the primary socialization of children so that they can truly become
members of the society in which they have been born; second, the
stabilization of the adult personalities of the population of the society.”
• Accomplished by two roles:
• Instrumental family role includes leadership and decision-making
responsibilities.
– Filled by the family’s economic provider (usually father)
• Expressive family role usually the mother, she does the housework,
cares for the children, and sees to it that the emotional needs of family
members are met.
• How did this come to be? Rooted in biology, remember?  role
differentiation was functional, it was institutionalized over time.
• Why study this (rooted in the 1950s after all…)? Sociological writings
on the family that followed bears its imprint and because we still hear
these sentiments echoed in “family values” rhetoric today.
Evaluating the Functionalist
Perspective of the Family
• Easy to do…
• Is the nuclear family truly isolated from other kin?
• What about role differentiation?
– It erroneously separates public life—what functionalists see as
the masculine world of work, government etc—from the private,
feminine world of the family. This idea, the public/private
split—is simply false. In everyday lives, families do not
experience these spheres as separate; they are experienced
interdependently.
• According to functionalists: rigid role differentiation
portrays instrumental and expressive activities as being
mutually exclusive, and assumes their assignment on
the basis of sex is natural. 
– Gender and family arrangements are not biologically given, but
rather culturally prescribed and socially learned.
Contemporary Families: Diversity
and Change
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2000 census: # of married couple households with children has reached an all-time
low: 23.5%. 1960? 45%
Two-earner families – in which both partners are in the paid labor force now make
up the majority of married couple households with children; 31% in 1976 to 51% by
1998.
Single-parent families – families with children but only one adult who has financial
responsibility for the household.
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Has grown significantly faster than the # of married households.
Female headed: grown 5x faster than married couples with children since 1960
Also growing: # of non married heterosexual couples living together (nearly doubled
between 1990-2000). 1/3 have children.
Domestic partnerships – unmarried couples who live together.
May also include “nonfamily households” 
chosen families which are composed of people unrelated by ancestry, marriage or
adoption, but who are nonetheless considered members of the family.
Blended families form when a couple with children divorces and one or both partners
remarry someone who also has children, or the new couples have children of their
own, or both.
Census bureau expects the # of blended families to surpass the # of traditional
nuclear families before 2010.
Sexuality, Sexual Orientation, and
Reproductive Freedom
• Middle and high school students: decreasing rates of vaginal
intercourse, but growing numbers of oral sex.
• By 1998: age at first intercourse for boys and girls: 15
• Girls compared to boys: more guilt and less pleasure after first
intercourse. Young women – less likely to find sexual intercourse
satisfying and to express disappointment.
• 51% of men: primary motivations for first intercourse were statusseeking, curiosity, and feeling ready (24% of young women agreed).
• 48% of young women: primary motivations were affection for their
partner and attaining approval (25% of young men agreed).
• The sexual double standard refers to the tradition in our society,
and many others, of permitting young men to engage in sexual
activity—or at least ignoring, overlooking, or forgiving their sexual
escapades—while simultaneously condemning or punishing the
same behavior in girls. Is it a thing of the past?
• Pimps vs sluts.
Sexualities
• Bias in research. Explain homosexuality because it is the
deviant (against the norm) sexuality. How odd to have
said, ‘how does one become heterosexual?’
• Dichotomous sexuality? Nope.
• Bisexuality – being sexually and affectionately attracted
to both women and men. Often overlooked by
researchers.
• Recent research shows that bisexuality is a sexual
orientation distinct from either heterosexuality or
homosexuality (i.e. monosexuality).
• Studies indicate that bisexuality may be more common
than exclusively same-sex behavior (Rothblum, 2000;
Rust, 2000).
Sexualities and Marriage
• Impossible to know how many homosexuals and bisexuals live in the
U.S.
• Some have engaged in various behaviors, change their behavior
over the course of their lives, and the social stigma.
• Most likely to be prejudiced against homosexuals:
• Older Americans, less-educated and those who live in rural areas.
• Same-sex marriage is legal in six states: Massachusetts,
Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, Maine (?), and beginning on 1/1/2010
New Hampshire. Here is California, they were legal from June 16 –
Nov. 4, 2008
• At the time the book was printed (2005ish): Vermont had civil unions!
• 1996 Defense of Marriage Act allows states to refuse to recognize
same-sex marriages from elsewhere.
Teen Pregnancy and Childbearing
• Rate of teenage pregnancy has declined since 1961 from 89.1/1000
girls aged 15-19 to 51.1/1000.
• U.S. is among the highest among Western democracies though.
• African American: 85.4/1000, 93.6/1000 for Hispanic girls, and
45.5/1000 for Whites.
• Decline in teen pregnancies: teens are having less sexual intercourse
than in the past. And when they do they are more likely to use
contraception.
• Comprehensive sex education in schools also contributes.
• Abstinence only programs do little to delay sex for teens.
• Higher rates for African Americans and Hispanics – linked with the
higher rates of poverty and lower levels of academic success among
these populations.
• Least likely to get pregnant?
• 1) live in financially stable or affluent families; 2) academically
successful, 3) have high aspirations with opportunities available to fulfill
those aspirations.
Reproductive Freedom
• Reproductive freedom refers to an individual’s ability to
freely choose whether or not to have a child.
• Contraception and abortion have been practiced for
thousands of years.
• illegal in the U.S. in 1850. Why?
• Takeover of professionally trained physicians from
midwives. Or,
• Racist legislators to get White women to reproduce so
they wouldn’t be outnumbered by foreigner immigrants
and African Americans.
• Contraceptive use the in the U.S. was illegal until about
thirty years ago!
• 1973 Roe v. Wade – right to an abortion
Abortion
• Restrictions on abortion, increased use of
contraception, slight decrease in women of
childbearing age have contributed to a decline in the
number of abortions performed in the U.S.
• another reason for the decline in abortion providers:
growing unwillingness of physicians to subject
themselves to the threats and harassment of antiabortion activists.
• Public opinion polls: most Americans personally dislike
abortion and feel it should be discouraged.
• Majority also feels, regardless of one’s personal views,
the decision to have an abortion should be left up to
the pregnant woman and her doctor.
Varieties of Intimate
Relationships
• Heterosexual marriages:
• We tend to hold romantic visions of marriage. In reality, it is
contractual agreement. Historically a marriage contract specified
the exchange relationship. Men were to economically provide for
the woman and the women were to provide housework and sex.
• The law granted men all the decision making power.
• Even today, marriage relations are fundamentally power relations—
usually the power of husbands over wives.
• 1960 study showed husbands to be more powerful than wives
because they made the most family decisions even though they
usually talked matters over with their wives.
• The greater the wife’s resources, the greater her power in the
relationship.
• Studies have been replicated show similar thing: who makes more
money tends to have more power.
• Prevailing logic: if it is the man’s role to be the family provider, then
he should have the final say in most matters.
Heterosexual Marriages
• Significant intervening variable in determining
couple’s relative power in a marriage is the
meaning couples give to women’s paid work and
unpaid household labor.
• More to marital power than simply decision
making:
– Not all decisions carry equal weight.
– Power to delegate responsibility
– some social practices are ingrained and taken-forgranted that they are automatic (e.g. wives are more
likely to worry bout offending or upsetting their
spouse, accommodate their spouse’s needs, and to
adjust their schedule to their spouse’s.)
Gender and Housework
• Wives spend more time on housework chores than men do.
• Although women have reduced and men have increased time spent
on housework, women still do at least twice what men do.
• “second shift”
• Why is the sentence, “I don’t work; I’m a housewife.” so telling?
• Our society tends to value people based on how much they make…
• Homemakers spend as much time today as did homemakers in the
1790s on household chores. Why? Didn’t modern conveniences
make it easier to do housework?  as our standards of living have
risen, so have the amount of stuff we have and what we have to
keep clean. Averages houses are significantly larger.
• Wives chores: tend to be daily and repetitive. Men’s: less often and
non-repetitive.
• Men have more leisure time to do chores. Women work the “second
shift.”
Caregiving
• Even egalitarian couples’ equal division of labor breaks down when
they have kids.
• The addition of a child to a household increases stress and lowers
marital satisfaction.
• Men: less involved with primary child care (e.g. bathing, clothing,
feeding) when children are infants.
• More involved when children are around 18 months; walking and
talking.
• Greatest involvement: middle childhood (5-15 yrs)
• Fathers spend more time with sons, both in the household and on
outings than they do with daughters.
• Women also do more mental work: worrying, seeking advice and
information involved in child-rearing.
• Men expected to invest time and energy in jobs, women in their
families.
• ↑ - women develop close bonds their children and are kinkeepers
• ↓ - women lack autonomy
Single-Parent Families
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On the rise: 13% in 1970 to 28% in 1999.
Most common way men and women become single parents: divorce.
50% of couples divorce within 7.2 years.
Used to be: men got custody because they were the breadwinners and the
kids were his property. Turn of 20th century: tender years presumption –
that young children need to be with their mother  produced dramatic shift
in custody decisions.
Joint legal custody – parents have equal decision making authority in
rearing their children.
Joint physical custody – children reside on specified days and both parents
have equal responsibility for the children’s care and financial support.
Research indicates these only work when parents maintain high level of
cooperation with one another and avoid involving children in further
conflicts.
Men: receive more support from friends, relatives and neighbors than do
single mothers.
Economically suffer: women more than men after a divorce
Emotionally and psychologically? Men suffer more than women.
Single Mothers and Poverty
• Reasons why women experience greater economic disadvantage
after a divorce:
– Generally receive lower wages than men.
– Changes in welfare from income support program to self-sufficiency
program.
– Limited child support payments (52% of divorced fathers pay child
support)
• Result: feminization of poverty – increasing percentage of the total
poverty population composed of women and their children.
• New poor – people, many of whom are women, who were not born
into poverty but who have been forced into it by recent events in
their life.
• Event driven poverty – poverty experienced by divorced women
• What about women of color and divorce?
• reshuffled poverty? Poor families dissolve and the women and
children form new, but still poor families.
Delay and postponing Marriage
• Singles delay and postpone marriage for several
reasons including:
– More positive social attitudes towards being single
– Greater reluctance to marry given high divorce rates
and growing awareness of domestic violence
– More widespread use of contraceptives (which means
fewer marriages because of unwanted pregnancies).
• Today: both women and men who are employed
and financially secure are seen as more
attractive marriage partners because f the
resources they can bring to the household.
Singles and Domestic Partnerships
• Heterosexual singles and domestic
partners
• Most single heterosexuals: temporary
status. Vast majority marry but are
delaying it longer than in the past.
• 1970: median age at first marriage for
men: 22, women: 20. 2000: men: 27,
women: 25.
Domestic Partnerships
• 1999: 4.5 million unmarried heterosexual
couples living together in the U.S.
• Up more than 3 million since 1980
• More than 4 million in 1970.
• Actual number: just over 9% of all couples
• 18.4 % of domestic partners are under 25.
• Most (56.9%) are between 25-44.
Domestic Partnership Trends
• 1) most domestic partnerships are relatively short,
with half ending in year or less.
– Most either break up or marry; very few
cohabitate permanently.
• 2) most heterosexual domestic partners (66.5%) are
childless or do not have children under the age of
15.
– When they want to have kids they usually marry
first
– A pregnancy does increase the likelihood of a
marriage.
• Increase in Domestic Partnerships due to:
• Economic constraints.
• Growing social acceptance of cohabitation
and modified goals of young adults.
• Choose domestic partnership over
marriage? Those whose parents were
divorced.
Gay and Lesbian Singles and
Domestic Partnerships
• Little research has been done due to homophobia and
heteronormativity.
• Therefore no accurate counts either.
• There is no uniform “homosexual lifestyle.”
• Myth: gays and lesbians are sexually promiscuous. In reality,
studies show that like most heterosexual women and men, most
lesbians and gays establish enduring intimate relationships.
• Gays and lesbians report levels of relationship satisfaction that are
as high as heterosexuals.
• Research also shows that sexual orientation has no effect on
relationship quality.
• Also no distinct homosexual value orientation toward love
relationships, rather what is important is the person’s sex and
background.
• In gay, but more so lesbian relationships, equality between partners
is highly valued.
• Research does indicate that gay men are less supportive
of monogamy in their intimate relationships than are
either lesbian or heterosexual couples and gay men do
have on average more partners than straight men.
• More myths: gay men try to seduce young boys. Data
shows child molesters are 90% heterosexual men.
• Research consistently shows that children raised by gay
and lesbian parents are emotionally healthy and welladjusted.
• No different in terms of cognitive development and
psychological well-being.
• They are however: less gender-typed in their behavior.
• Although the vast majority identify as heterosexual,
children of gay and lesbian parents appear to be more
accepting of diversity and open to homosexuality.
• More relaxed and experimental than children who grow
up in other households, but are not at greater risk of
experiencing confusion about their own sexual
orientation.
• Bottom line: it is love that makes a family.
Violence in Families and Intimate
Relationships
• According to the U.S. Dept of Justice Bureau of Justice Statistics
about 450,000 incidents of family violence each year.
• About 57% of those involve married couples or ex-spouses.
• One national study: about half of women assaulted by an intimate
partner reported it to the police.
• Mutual abuse an exchange of physical blows and psychological or
verbal sparring between partners.
• Motivations for violence differ:
• Men: when they perceive themselves losing control of the relationship
or when they interpret their partners words or behaviors as challenges
to their authority.
• Women: self-defense, when they believe they are in imminent danger
of being attacked, or to fight back when being attacked.
• Male perpetrators are significantly more likely than female
perpetrators to inflict physical injury on their partners. Men are also
more likely to kill ⅓ of female homicide victims are killed by
husbands, ex-husbands, or boyfriends whereas as for men it is 3%.
Partner Abuse in Heterosexual
Relationships
• Why?
• Run the gamut: evolutionary, hormonal, neurological and mental
disorders.
• Drug and alcohol abuse
• Working-class and poor couples or among non-white couples are
particularly more susceptible (see below) even though it cuts across
class and racial lines.
• Low income and poverty seem to place women at a higher risk of
violent victimization as well as keep women trapped in these
relationships.
• Partner abuse takes place in the content of a violent society.
• What about the legal system for not treating domestic violence as a
serious problem?
Partner Abuse in Gay and Lesbian
Relationships
• Less is known.
• Probably about the same as in
heterosexual couples
• It does occur, and like heterosexual
couples, it is not a one-time situational
event.
• Once it occurs it is likely to reoccur and to
grow more severe over time.
Child Abuse
• Rather than strangers, children are more likely to be harmed by
someone they know, especially a family member.
• Like other crimes we’ve talked about: underreported.
• Nearly 1 million children each year are abused and neglected.
• 53%: victims of neglect, 23% physically abused, 12% sexually
abused.
• Girls are slightly more likely to be abused (52% of all abuses). But
varies by type:
• Boys: physically abused and neglected.
• Girls: emotionally abused and 3x more likely to be sexually abused.
Again, usually by someone the victim knows.
• Painful aftereffects into adulthood.
Elder Abuse
• Also difficult to get accurate numbers.
• Elder abuse refers to the physical, sexual,
psychological, or financial maltreatment,
neglect, or exploitation of a senior citizen
by an adult caretaker.
• Research shows the typical abuser is a
family member.
The Ideal and the Real Revisited
• The Family – the isolated nuclear family of
husband/breadwinner, wife/homemaker, and the
dependent children—is not an accurate
description of the majority of families in the U.S.
today.
• Creates another false idea: any other family type
is inherently deviant or abnormal.
• Also called into question: the family as a retreat
from the harsh public world.