Transcript Diapositiva 1

“Increasing resilience among workers who
deal with difficult conversations”
Andrea Lardani, Ms
Eduardo Lambardi, Ms
[email protected]
Goals of this presentation
• Identify reasons for enhancing employees´
resilience as EA professionals.
• Describe a resilience training program for workers
who deal with difficult conversations.
• Share results obtained at a worker´s
compensation insurance company in Argentina.
Why resilience?
Reasons for talking about resilience as EA professionals:
• Evolution of the EAPs.
• From prevention and treatment of mental disorders to
promotion of strengths and resources.
• How to help people live happier lives / improve their quality of
life / reinforce wellness.
Describing resilience
• Evidence shows that not every person living adverse
conditions suffer from illnesses. Some persons
overcome adversity and are even strengthened by it.
(Emmy Werner and Ruth Smith´s study in Hawaii, 1992)
• Research started to study this phenomena today called
RESILIENCE.
Describing resilience
Some definitions:
• “The physical property of a material that can return to its
original shape after deformation that does not exceed its
elastic limit” (Merriam-Webster dictionary)
• “The ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune
or change”
• “Human being´s capacity to cope with life adversities,
overcome them and transform positively because of
them” (Munist et al, 1998)
Describing resilience
What does resilience look like? Resilient people:
• View problems and challenges as opportunities
• Learn from their mistakes and failures
• Seek out new and challenging experiences
• Have a sense of humor and realistic optimism under
stress
• Don´t feel shame nor depression in the face of failure
• Seek for social support
Describing resilience
Advantages of being resilient:
• Resilience reduces the intensity of stress
• Produces a decrease in negative emotional signs such
as anxiety, depression or anger
• Increases curiosity and emotional health
(Chok Hiel and coleages, 2000)
So resilience is effective not only to cope with adversities but
also to promote mental and emotional health.
Describing resilience
Importance of being resilient at work:
• Pressures to do more with less
• The need to play multiple roles and satisfy multiple customers in
our jobs
• Work / life balance out of balance
• Changing job descriptions
• Increasing pressure to achieve higher levels of performance
• Merges and acquisitions – blending of organizational cultures
• Changing job descriptions
• Uncertainty about the future
Describing resilience
Resilience can be learnt and developed
For APA (American Psychological Association):
• Resilience is NOT an inborn personality trait.
• Resilience includes behaviors, thoughts and actions that
may be learnt and developed by any person.
The Penn Resiliency Program, based on M. Seligman’s research:
• Demonstrated that resilience techniques can be taught, and
that the resilient thinking style learnt can be long lasting and
improved.
Describing resilience
So which qualities should be developed?
Nan Henderson – Martin Seligman – APA
•
Conditions to be resilient:
-
Caring
- Clear and consistent boundaries
-
High expectations for success
- Life skills
-
Social activities and support
•
Individual skills to be resilient in life:
-
Self-motivation
Sociability – Social problem solving
Communication skills
Cognitive skills
-
- Flexibility – Humor - Creativity
- Confidence
- Competence
- Positive view of personal future
Summarising
 Need to emphasize psychological wellness and personal
growth.
 Resilience is the capacity to cope with life adversities,
overcome them and transform positively because of them.
 Importance of being resilient in today’s working environments
(Resilience reduces stress, absenteeism, increases
productivity)
 Resilience can be developed by training certain skills.
Why a program for workers who
deal with difficult conversations?
•
Certain positions: call centers, customers services, case managers,
sales, etc. are more exposed to difficult conversations and their
consequences.
•
These workers are constantly confronted with adverse situations
(aggressions, rejections, excessive demands, complaints, unwanted
results, etc.)
•
We have identified that most workers have many technical skills but lack
of other fundamental skills that build resilience.
•
Our program focuses on these other skills.
Which resilience skills should employees exposed to difficult conversations
develop?
Workers who deal with difficult
conversations
They should train the following skills to increase resilience:
COMMUNICATION
SKILLS
3 focus areas of
our program
HEALTHY
HABITS
COGNITIVE
SKILLS
A Resilience Training Program for workers
who deal with difficult conversations
Title: “Dealing with Difficult Conversations at Work”
Goal: To increase participants’ skills to manage difficult
conversations and the distress they produce.
Stages:
1)
Assessment
2) Intervention
3) Close up
Assessment Stage
•
Goal: Obtain information to adapt program to client company
•
Meeting with managers and supervisors
•
Find out about their expectations
•
Obtain descriptions about participants’ positions, their tasks and the
typical difficult conversations they are exposed with.
•
How have they tried to help employees to deal with difficult
conversations?
•
Learn about the company’s culture
Intervention Stage
Framework:
•
Three group meetings. 1st: 3hours, 30 min.
2nd and 3rd: 2 hours.
•
Between 8 and 20 participants recommended
•
In company or at a place outside of the company
•
Combination of theory and exercises
Intervention Stage
Description of each of the meetings
First meeting
“Improving our communication skills”
•
-
15 minutes talk to show:
Most problems are related to communication
Communication problems increase stress and reduce
effectiveness
Communication and its consequences are manageable
Improving communication skills may help
•
Theory exposition
-
Based on ideas of D.Stone, B.Patton & S. Heen Members of the
Project of Negotiation of the University of Harvard (“Difficult
Conversations”. Viking publication, N.Y. USA)
Definition
What is a “difficult conversation”?
• Any conversation in which we have to talk about
something that is uncomfortable (the topic is the
problem)
• Any conversation in which we have difficulties in
the interaction (the relationship is the problem)
Principal contents
The structure of conversations
WHAT IS SAID
WHAT IS NOT SAID
• Thoughts
• Feelings
The 3 levels of conversations
1) Level of subjects – contents – issues (the different
stories)
2) Level of feelings (how do I manage the strong
feelings involved?)
3) Level of identities (what could all this say about me?)
The 3 levels of conversations
• Every difficult conversation involves getting mixed up in these
three levels.
• Learning how to cope with the three levels effectively, will help
us manage difficult conversations successfully.
• This might seem difficult, but it is easier than dealing with the
consequences of not taking into account these three levels of
conversations.
Exercise:
- In small groups, participants describe typical difficult conversations
they have at their work.
- They share ideas with the rest.
Common mistakes
Level of subjects – contents – issue
• The belief that there is only one truth and that I own it.
• Not taking into account the other person´s point of view.
• Assuming that we know the other person´s intentions.
We discuss about who is right
No, you
are not
I am
right!!!
But difficult conversations
should never be about
who is right or wrong.
They should be about facts
/ different points of views
/ ideas / versions...
Common mistakes
Level of feelings
Principal mistake: We try to avoid them
Consequences:
1- They filter (gently or in an explosive way)
2- They affect concentration
3- They increase (if they are negative)
4- They generate mistakes when interpreting the message
5- If the other person´s feelings are not taken into account,
they will be obstacles for the conversation
Common mistakes
Level of identities
We are worried about or attack one or more of the
core identities:
1- AM I COMPETENT?
2- AM I A GOOD PERSON?
3- AM I WORTH BEING APPRECIATED?
Some persons have more vulnerable
identities
YOU ARE
WRONG!!!
WRONG???
AM I
INCOMPETENT?
INCOMPETENT!!!
Managing the 3 levels of difficult conversations
1) Level of subjects – contents – issues
Suppose: “Each one of us will have different information
and perceptions about facts. Possibly there might be
important things I might not know”.
Goal: Listen and understand the other person’s story.
Tips: Ask open questions – Repeat what the other person
said – Avoid presenting conclusion as the truth – Use
terms that take into account the recipient’s point of
view.
Managing the 3 levels of difficult conversations
2) Level of feelings
Suppose: “Feelings are always there and they affect
conversations”
Goal: control feelings that might affect the conversation
Tips: Identify your own feelings and control them - Identify
other person’s feelings and recognize them.
Managing the 3 levels of difficult conversations
3) Level of identities
Suppose: “Aspects of my identity may be involved in this
conversation, affecting what I say and how I say things”.
Goal: Avoiding identity aspects to interfere in the
conversation.
Tips: Avoid using negative adjectives that might affect
others. Try not to take words personally.
What a person says, talks more about himself than about the others.
Exercise
1) In small groups participants receive written difficult conversations.
2) Find out mistakes in each level.
3) Suggest a different way of managing the conversation based on the
tips given.
4) Group discussion.
Close up
We give participants a written summary of the theory given.
Introduction to next meeting: “Optimistic Thinking at Work”.
Second meeting
“Optimistic Thinking at Work”
Introduction:
•
The way we think about situations affects behaviors and feelings.
•
Failure in conversations may cause pessimistic thoughts and
unhealthy behaviors.
•
Advantages of optimistic thinking in personal and work life.
•
Developing an optimistic thinking style improves resilience in the
face of setbacks (M. Seligman).
Brainstorming about the definition of optimism.
“The tendency to think about adversity as specific, temporary and
perceive it as a a challenge to improve”.
Book: “Learned Optimism” – “Authentic Happiness” Martin Seligman.
How to build optimistic thinking?
When facing adversity:
Pessimists
Optimists
- Lasts for ever
- Lasts a defined period of time
- Impacts whole life
- Impacts a specific area of life
- Is their own fault
- Caused by internal and external factor
Try to learn about mistakes
Exercise
 We ask participants to form groups.
 Each group receives a written page with a case
example.
 Participants read the case.
 They identify pessimistic thoughts of the three
dimensions.
 Transform pessimistic thoughts into optimistic
ones.
What to do?
When a difficult conversation takes place, results are not the desired
ones and you feel frustrated, try to:
1) Define as specifically as possible the length of time adversity will last.
It may help to ask yourself:
How many hours, days, months, years?
Have I or someone I know been in this situation before?
Which was its length?
What to do?
2) Try to define as specifically as possible in which areas of your life
the adverse event impacts.
It may help to ask yourself:
Does this event impact my whole life? Does it impact my
professional carreer? Which specific area does it affect (if any)?
What to do?
3) Try to define as specifically as possible which are the
external and internal causes of the event.
External: the other persons characteristics, type of subject,
lack of resources, company policies, etc.
Internal: not taking into account the other persons feelings,
point of view, some specific tip about how to manage
difficult conversations.
Close up and introduction to next meeting
Third Meeting
“Healthy habits to improve resilience”
Introduction:
•
Being exposed to difficult conversations frequently,
generates high levels of pressure and stress.
•
Healthy habits increase energy and resistance to cope
with pressures and help reduce tensions.
•
Healthy habits lead to physical and psychological
wellness (Kenneth M. Nowack).
Healthy habits
Habits that build resilience
•
•
•
•
•
Exercise
Healthy / balanced food
Sleep / rest
Daily routines that reduce tension
Positive after work activities / social support
Exercise
In small groups, participants describe their own routines for:
1)
2)
3)
Waking up in the morning and going to work
Lunch time
End of work day an return home
Discussion about how we can use these routines to
increase or reduce tensions
Close up
Close up stage
Closure meeting with managers and supervisors
• We give feedback about results of the program
•
Suggest organizational changes when pertinent
• Hand in an evaluation form that must be completed by
participants.
Results
Workers’ compensation insurance company
Participants: 50 case managers
Evaluation form:
1)
Was the meeting “Improving our Communication Skills” useful
to manage difficult conversations better at work?
2)
Were the optimistic thinking techniques useful to deal with the
consequences of difficult conversations that did not succeed?
3)
Have you experienced personal changes due to participating in
this training program? Which ones?
Results
1) Was the meeting “Improving our Communication Skills”
useful to manage difficult conversations at work better?
Little
Useful
5%
Useful
25%
Useless
0%
Very Useful
70%
Results
2) Were the optimistic thinking techniques useful to deal
with the consequences of difficult conversations
that did not succeed?
Useless
0%
Didn't practice
20%
Useful
20%
Little Useful
0%
Very Useful
60%
Results
3) Have you experienced personal changes due to participating in this
training program?
60 % Yes
-
25 % No - 15 % Not sure
Which ones?
- “I felt better when I realized I obtained better results”
- “I calm down faster”
- “I am trying to identify my feelings and this helps for personal conversations also”.
- “I realize that if I fail once that doesn’t mean the end of the world”
- “I am less negative than before”
- “I try to learn something from my mistakes”
- “I talk and laugh more with my co-workers”
-“I’m planning to see my friends more frequently after work”
-“I pay more attention to other aspects of my life that are OK”
THANK YOU VERY MUCH
Contact information:
Andrea Lardani: [email protected]
Eduardo Lambardi: [email protected]
Telephone: (+ 54 11) 4706 - 0390