Transcript EAP6: Writing: Paragraphs and Text Organisation

EAP6 - Writing:
Paragraphs and Text
Organisation
Answer the following questions in writing:
1. Did you have a good weekend?
2. What was good / bad about it? Explain!
3. What was the best / worst thing about the weekend?
4. What was so good / bad about this best / worst thing?
Now create a paragraph from your sentences...
The paragraph you’ve created should have a clear topic
sentence, and development of any points you made.
Show it to another student and see if they agree that it’s a
good paragraph.
Now look at the five paragraphs on page 12 of your
materials booklet. Decide if each one is a good or bad
paragraph and why.
A
We all need food to live; it is an essential part of our daily lives. In times of
stress, however, our ‘normal’ eating patterns change.
A
We all need food to live; it is an essential part of our daily lives. In times of
stress, however, our ‘normal’ eating patterns change.
BAD!
-Too short with no development.
-There is a topic sentence (2nd sentence) but it needs to be expanded with
examples of how eating patterns change.
B
Greek democracy did not involve elections as officials were chosen by lot. In
ancient Greece, where the word originated, it was usually understood to
mean ‘mob rule’. Since then there has been a gradual spread of the right to
vote through all sections of society. Democracy is a concept with a long
history but in the past it was more often a term of abuse than praise. It was
only in the 19th century that democracy became an ideal for countries to
aspire to.
B
Greek democracy did not involve elections as officials were chosen by lot. In
ancient Greece, where the word originated, it was usually understood to
mean ‘mob rule’. Since then there has been a gradual spread of the right to
vote through all sections of society. Democracy is a concept with a long
history but in the past it was more often a term of abuse than praise. It was
only in the 19th century that democracy became an ideal for countries to
aspire to.
BAD!
- The sentences are muddled. The topic is lost in the middle (4th sentence).
There is no thread of ideas through the paragraph.
C
Taking place when individuals show an awareness of other people’s
presence, for example wherever there are large numbers of people together,
as on a busy street, in a theatre crowd or at a party. In these situations, even
if people do not directly talk to each other, they engage in non-verbal
communication through their posture and facial gestures.
C
Taking place when individuals show an awareness of other people’s
presence, for example wherever there are large numbers of people together,
as on a busy street, in a theatre crowd or at a party. In these situations, even
if people do not directly talk to each other, they engage in non-verbal
communication through their posture and facial gestures.
BAD!
- Topic sentence is missing – without it, it is difficult to know what the
paragraph is about.
D
Cycling, like any regular exercise, makes you fit. For every half hour’s
pedalling, a 67kg. person burns up 300 calories. Through cycling, you will
slowly but surely slim down, whether you diet or not. The heart, lungs, back
and leg muscles are strengthened, all while sitting down. Because the
bodyweight is supported, cycling is effective exercise.
D
Cycling, like any regular exercise, makes you fit. For every half hour’s
pedalling, a 67kg. person burns up 300 calories. Through cycling, you will
slowly but surely slim down, whether you diet or not. The heart, lungs, back
and leg muscles are strengthened, all while sitting down. Because the
bodyweight is supported, cycling is effective exercise.
GOOD
- The topic sentence comes first and is then explained by subsequent
sentences.
E
The market can be defined as any situation in which the buyer and seller of a
product communicate with each other for the purpose of exchange. The
collective actions of the buyers in the market determine the market demand
for a particular product while the collective actions of the sellers determine the
market supply. It is the interaction of these two forces, known as market
forces, which determines the market price for the product. There are different
kinds of market. It may be local, such as a fish and chip shop, regional as
with a newspaper such as the East Anglian Daily Times, national such as the
housing market operating through estate agents across the country, or
international as is the market for oil.
E
The market can be defined as any situation in which the buyer and seller of a
product communicate with each other for the purpose of exchange. The
collective actions of the buyers in the market determine the market demand
for a particular product while the collective actions of the sellers determine the
market supply. It is the interaction of these two forces, known as market
forces, which determines the market price for the product. There are different
kinds of market. It may be local, such as a fish and chip shop, regional as
with a newspaper such as the East Anglian Daily Times, national such as the
housing market operating through estate agents across the country, or
international as is the market for oil.
BAD
- There are two main ideas compressed into 1 paragraph. This should be
divided into 2 paragraphs.
So what are the ingredients of a good paragraph?
So what are the ingredients of a good paragraph?
-One main idea, expressed in a topic sentence, often found at the
beginning of the paragraph.
-Supporting ideas flow logically from the topic sentence.
-Link words and reference words (pronouns etc) help the flow
-Three to six sentences is a good average length.
2. Model paragraph analysis
Answer these questions about the following paragraphs:
1Which is the ‘topic’ sentence?
2What are the functions of the other sentences? (e.g. re-stating the main
idea; explaining / expanding on the idea; giving supporting details /
examples; modifying the idea; supporting the modification; drawing a
conclusion)
3What links are used between sentences? (e.g. ‘reference’ words, link
words and phrases)
2. Model paragraph analysis
Firstly, read paragraph F on page 13 of your
materials booklet.
F
Man has been growing crops for ten thousand years. Until about 1960,
increased demand for food was met simply by using more land to grow
crops. As the population grew, farmers extended the area of land that
they cultivated. From 1960 to 1980, increased demand for food was met
mainly by increasing the productivity of the land. Farmers used
techniques such as irrigation and terracing to grow on previously
unproductive land. The availability of cheap nitrogen fertilizer also
helped to raise productivity. By twenty years ago we had become
complacent about our ability to feed the world’s population.
Man has been growing crops for ten thousand years. TOPIC
Until about 1960, increased demand for food was met simply by using
more land to grow crops. EXTENDS IDEA WITH REFERENCE TO TIME
PERIOD
As the population grew, farmers extended the area of land that they
cultivated. RE-STATEMENT OF PREVIOUS SENTENCE
From 1960 to 1980, increased demand for food was met mainly by
increasing the productivity of the land. FURTHER EXPANSION OF TIME
IDEA WITH LATER TIME PERIOD
Farmers used techniques such as irrigation and terracing to grow on
previously unproductive land. EXAMPLE TO SUPPORT PREVIOUS
SENTENCE
The availability of cheap nitrogen fertilizer also helped to raise
productivity. SECOND EXAMPLE
By twenty years ago we had become complacent about our ability to
feed the world’s population. CONCLUSION
G
If you look around you at the men and women whom you can call happy,
you will see that they have certain things in common. The most
important of these things is being involved in an activity which is not
only enjoyable in itself but also leads to something coming into
existence. Thus women who take an instinctive pleasure in their
children can get this kind of satisfaction from bringing up a family.
Artists and authors and men of science get happiness in this way if their
own work seems good to them. But there are many humbler forms of
the same kind of pleasure. Many men who spend their working life in
the city devote their weekends to voluntary toil in their gardens, and
when the spring comes they experience all the joys of having created
beauty. (from an article by Bertrand Russell)
If you look around you at the men and women whom you can call happy,
you will see that they have certain things in common. INTRODUCTORY
STATEMENT
The most important of these things is being involved in an activity
which is not only enjoyable in itself but also leads to something coming
into existence. TOPIC SENTENCE
Thus women who take an instinctive pleasure in their children can get
this kind of satisfaction from bringing up a family. EXAMPLE
Artists and authors and men of science get happiness in this way if their
own work seems good to them. FURTHER EXAMPLE
But there are many humbler forms of the same kind of pleasure.
MODIFYING MAIN IDEA
Many men who spend their working life in the city devote their
weekends to voluntary toil in their gardens, and when the spring comes
they experience all the joys of having created beauty. EXAMPLE TO
SUPPORT MODIFICATION
H
If we compare a piece of written English with a piece of spoken English,
regarding them simply as physical objects or events, it appears that
they are not at all similar. The piece of written English consists of small
black marks on a white surface while the piece of spoken English
consists of a series of varying noises. It would hardly be possible for
two things to be more different. However, when we remember that both
of them convey meaning, we realise that both are equally English. We
have, in fact, drawn a distinction between language and medium. We
have recognised that the piece of written English and the piece of
spoken English are the same language embodied in different mediums,
one consisting of shapes, the other of sounds.
If we compare a piece of written English with a piece of spoken English,
regarding them simply as physical objects or events, it appears that
they are not at all similar. FACTUAL “EXPERIMENTAL” STATEMENT
The piece of written English consists of small black marks on a white
surface while the piece of spoken English consists of a series of varying
noises. EXPLANATION
It would hardly be possible for two things to be more different.
EMPHATIC RE-STATEMENT OF FIRST SENTENCE
However, when we remember that both of them convey meaning, we
realise that both are equally English. MODIFICATION OF FIRST
SENTENCE
We have, in fact, drawn a distinction between language and medium.
TOPIC SENTENCE
We have recognised that the piece of written English and the piece of
spoken English are the same language embodied in different mediums,
one consisting of shapes, the other of sounds. EXPLANATION