Transcript Myth of Adolescence

The Myth of Adolescence
Raising Responsible Children in an
Irresponsible Society
by
Dr. David Alan Black
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
1
Interactive Table of Contents
Introduction
 Part One: Understanding Human Growth
 Lesson 1: God’s Pattern for Human
Growth
 Lesson 2: Exploding the Myth of
Adolescence
 Lesson 3: The Stages of Life According to
the Apostle Paul

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Interactive Table of Contents

Part Two: Parenting Principles from the Life
of Jesus
 Lesson 4: The Home Training of Jesus
 Lesson 5: Jesus and the Age Twelve
Transition
 Lesson 6: Jesus and the Age Thirty
Transition
 Lesson 7: Celebrating Your Child’s
Passage into Adulthood
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Interactive Table of Contents
Part Three: On to Maturity
 Lesson 8: Expecting Your Teenager to Act
Responsibly
 Lesson 9: Teaching Your Teen about Sex
and Courtship
 Lesson 10: Toward a Christ-Driven Youth
Ministry
 Conclusion

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Introduction

An incident from the childhood of Jesus
(Luke 2:41-52)
 Meanwhile, Jesus kept on growing in
wisdom and maturity,and in favor with
God and people. — ISV
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Introduction
Part One: Understanding Human Growth
 Part Two: Parenting Principles from the
Life of Jesus
 Part Three: On to Maturity

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Part One
Understanding
Human
Growth
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 1: God’s Pattern for Human Growth
Jesus, Our Model and Hope

To speak of Jesus’ human development
does not minimize His divine nature.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 1: God’s Pattern for Human Growth
Jesus, Our Model and Hope

The full deity of Jesus Christ is spoken of
throughout the New Testament.
 John 1:1
 John 20:38
 Romans 9:5
 Titus 2:13
 Hebrews 1:8
 2 Peter 1:1
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 1: God’s Pattern for Human Growth
Jesus, Our Model and Hope

The apostle Paul suggests that Jesus, as
a servant, was willing to forgo the full use
of his divine powers.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 1: God’s Pattern for Human Growth
Jesus, Our Model and Hope
In God’s own form existed he,
And shared with God equality,
Deemed nothing needed grasping.
Instead, poured out in emptiness,
A servant’s form did he possess,
A mortal man becoming.
In human form he chose to be,
And lived in all humility,
Death on a cross obeying.
— Phil 2:6-9 ISV
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
11
Chapter 1: God’s Pattern for Human Growth
Jesus, Our Model and Hope

As Christian parents, we must
acknowledge the relevance of the earthly
life of Jesus to the task of child-rearing.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
12
Chapter 1: God’s Pattern for Human Growth
Jesus, Our Model and Hope
“It is much easier to keep the humanity out of the
incarnation. Clean the manure from around the
manger. Wipe the sweat out of his eyes. Pretend he
never snored or blew his nose or hit his thumb with a
hammer. He’s easier to stomach that way. There is
something about keeping him divine that keeps him
distant, packaged, predictable. But don’t do it. For
heaven’s sake, don’t do it. Let him be as human as he
intended to be. Let him into the mire and muck of our
world. For only if we let him in can he pull us out.”
— Max Lucado in God Came Near
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 1: God’s Pattern for Human Growth
Jesus, Our Model and Hope
 As Christian parents, we must
acknowledge the relevance of the earthly
life of Jesus to the task of child-rearing.

Jesus learned obedience through
suffering (Hebrews 5:8).
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 1: God’s Pattern for Human Growth
Jesus, Our Model and Hope
“Christian faith pivots on a person—Jesus of
Nazareth. As the Son of God, he claimed to be our
Lord; as the Son of Man, he claimed to be our Model;
and as fully God and fully man, he claimed to be our
Redeemer. In response, we cannot forget that Jesus’
claim to be the Son of Man holds equal authority in the
Christian portfolio. If Jesus was a real and complete
man who participated fully in the human experience,
then he must be our model and our hope. Anything
else and the case for Christianity is dismissed.”
— David McKenna in The Jesus Model
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 1: God’s Pattern for Human Growth
Jesus, Our Model and Hope
Jesus went through normal cycles of
human development.
 The way Jesus was raised gives today’s
parents a sound and sensible model.
 Parental example and instruction was at
the heart of Biblical educational
endeavors.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 1: God’s Pattern for Human Growth
Jesus, Our Model and Hope
The modern idea of adolescence as a
“time out” in development is unbiblical
and destructive.
 The knowledge of God is more important
than knowledge of “self”.
 Educating children involves giving them
“roots” as well as “wings”.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 1: God’s Pattern for Human Growth
Understanding the Human Life Cycle

“Life cycle” defined:
 Development from birth to adulthood.
 A process or journey from a starting
point (birth) to a termination point
(death).
 Within the cycle are seasons or stages,
each with its unique characteristics.
 Each season is different.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 1: God’s Pattern for Human Growth
Understanding the Human Life Cycle
Childhood/Pre-Adulthood (birth-12)
 Luke 2:41-52
 Emerging Adulthood (12-30)
 Luke 3:23
 Senior Adulthood (30-death)

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 1: God’s Pattern for Human Growth
Roots and Wings
How do we help our children reach these
objectives?
 Give them roots
 Give them wings
 Roots: grounded in God’s ways
 Wings: independent & responsible

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 1: God’s Pattern for Human Growth
Roots and Wings

God’s “modus operandi”
 He loves us enough to allow us to
make our own decisions.
 He loves us without being
overprotective.
 He provides us with the resources we
need to function successfully.
 He trains us for good works.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 1: God’s Pattern for Human Growth
Roots and Wings

2 Timothy 3:16-17
 All Scripture is inspired by God and is
useful for teaching, for reproof, for
correction, and for training in
righteousness, so that the man of God
may be complete and thoroughly
equipped for every good work. — ISV
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 1: God’s Pattern for Human Growth
Roots and Wings
The enigma of Proverbs 22:6
 Train up a child according to his way,
and when he is old he will not depart
from it.
 Whose way?
 According to the ways of God?
 According to the child’s abilities?
 Both are correct!

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 2: Exploding the Myth of Adolescence
The Invention of Adolescence
 Some definitions
 “Adolescent” and “adult” are closely
related terms.
 In Latin, “adolescent” meant “growing
one” and referred to the spurt of
growth between 12 and 20.
 In Latin, “adult” meant “grown one”
— i.e., one who could now bear
children.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 2: Exploding the Myth of Adolescence
The Invention of Adolescence

Some problems
 Modern society defines an adult as one
who has reached a certain age and not
one who is sexually mature.
 The separation of the two meanings
gives us the concept of “adolescence”.
 It is a concept of relatively recent
development.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 2: Exploding the Myth of Adolescence
The Invention of Adolescence
The idea of adolescence as an intermediary
period of life starting at puberty… is the
product of modern times…. [It] developed in
the latter half of the nineteenth century and the
early twentieth century… to prolong the years
of childhood.
— David Bakan in Adolescence in America
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 2: Exploding the Myth of Adolescence
The Invention of Adolescence
Cumpulsory education laws removed the
decision about whether a child should be
educated away from parents.
 Child labor laws made it illegal to employ
persons below certain ages.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 2: Exploding the Myth of Adolescence
The Invention of Adolescence
Cumpulsory education laws removed the
decision about whether a child should be
educated away from parents.
 Child labor laws made it illegal to employ
persons below certain ages.
 A juvenile justice system was created to
segregate young lawbreakers.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 2: Exploding the Myth of Adolescence
The Invention of Adolescence
An irresponsible teenager
 + a driver’s license and a vehicle
 + high speed driving
 + alcohol (illegal for teens)
 = 4 dead, 3 injured
 = 120 days alcohol rehab

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 2: Exploding the Myth of Adolescence
The Invention of Adolescence
“Adolescence” was firmly entrenched by
the early 1900’s.
 By the 1920s, the marriage age was
moving upward.
 Young people were “protected” from
environments that “forced” maturity on
them.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 2: Exploding the Myth of Adolescence
The Invention of Adolescence
Young people were not allowed to make
adult decisions at the age of puberty.
 Adolescence became a “psychological
moratorium” delaying adult decisions.
 Permissiveness and playfulness were
encouraged.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 2: Exploding the Myth of Adolescence
The Invention of Adolescence
Organizations were developed to turn
youth into children
 Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts
 Boys and Girls agricultural clubs
 Teens were now called “boys” and “girls”
instead of “young men” and “young
woman”.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 2: Exploding the Myth of Adolescence
The Invention of Adolescence
The social theory of adolescence is a
challenge to Christian morality.
 It undermines the Christian
understanding of human nature.
 It undermines the way in which
Christians analyze moral thought.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 2: Exploding the Myth of Adolescence
The Invention of Adolescence
The social theory of adolescence
underscores the modern disinclination to
treat a person as responsible for his or
her actions.
 If we expect teenagers to act like
children, they will do so.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 2: Exploding the Myth of Adolescence
The Invention of Adolescence
 The issue of premarital sex
 Under Hebrew culture, young people
were encouraged to marry at puberty.
 Under Roman law, women could marry
at the age of 12 and men could marry at
14.
 Under English law, it was the same.
 Under U.S. law 200 years ago,
it was the same.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 2: Exploding the Myth of Adolescence
The Invention of Adolescence

The issue of teen marriage
 Most teen marriages end in divorce.
 Many teenagers are not socially mature
enough for marriage.
 Adolescence requires teens to be
celibate, but not chaste.
 Ads and culture say sex is available for
any physically mature person.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 2: Exploding the Myth of Adolescence
The Invention of Adolescence

The issue of compulsory education
 Doing time vs. learning.
 Values and character are not based on
faith, but rather on humanism.
 The result:
 schools without learning.
 graduates without education.
 rebels drifting aimlessly through life.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 2: Exploding the Myth of Adolescence
The Invention of Adolescence

Summarizing
 Adolescence has altered the process of
growing up in America and the world.
 Teenagers will act like they are treated.
 Christian parenting demands rejection
of false social theories.
 Scripture is the surest foundation for
raising godly young men and women.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 2: Exploding the Myth of Adolescence
The Bible and Adolescence
The Bible treats teens as adults.
 Moses is never called an adolescent.
 Paul never calls himself an adolescent.
 John never refers to adolescence.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 2: Exploding the Myth of Adolescence
The Bible and Adolescence
 The Bible treats teens as adults.
 Moses is never called an adolescent.
 Paul never calls himself an adolescent.
 John never refers to adolescence.

The Bible never speaks of a transitional
period between childhood and adulthood
because there is none!
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 2: Exploding the Myth of Adolescence
The Bible and Adolescence

A common error
“Unfortunately, our culture forces teenagers’
development too rapidly…. With my own teens I
felt that slowing down their adolescence was a
positive thing and so I very consciously insulated
my teens from the fast pace of growth that
adolescent culture assumes. One way I did this
was by not letting them get their driver’s licenses
until they were out of high school.”
— Larry Richards in The Stages of Adolescence
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 2: Exploding the Myth of Adolescence
The Bible and Adolescence

A better solution
“The basic thing you can do to help your
adolescents now is to treat them as much like
adults as possible…. Even if other people
expect your teenagers to act irresponsibly, you
can expect them to be responsible.”
— Ronald Kotesky
in Understanding Adolescence
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 2: Exploding the Myth of Adolescence
The Bible and Adolescence
Objection: but they’re too young!
 Treating a teen like a child doesn’t work.
 If you can’t expect responsible behavior
as teens at home, then when?
 When they go to college?
 When they get married?
 When they get a job?

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 2: Exploding the Myth of Adolescence
The Bible and Adolescence
According to the Bible, the teen era is not
a “time out” between childhood and
adulthood.
 1 Timothy 4:12
 Even if our laws do not yet allow teens to
take full responsibility, we can require it
at home.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 2: Exploding the Myth of Adolescence
Dealing with a Secular Culture
The concept of teen responsibility is
widely unpopular, even in churches.
 Many Christian parents today grew up in
the permissive 1960s.
 Many Christian parents naively assume
schools will teach responsibility.
 But we can make a difference!

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 2: Exploding the Myth of Adolescence
Dealing with a Secular Culture

Share your insight with your children.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 2: Exploding the Myth of Adolescence
Dealing with a Secular Culture
Share your insight with your children.
 Avoid establishing overly rigid
boundaries in your homes.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 2: Exploding the Myth of Adolescence
Dealing with a Secular Culture
Share your insight with your children.
 Avoid establishing overly rigid
boundaries in your homes.
 Be realistic when discussing culture with
your children.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 2: Exploding the Myth of Adolescence
Dealing with a Secular Culture
 Share your insight with your children.
 Avoid establishing overly rigid
boundaries in your homes.
 Be realistic when discussing culture with
your children.

Society’s concept of adolescence can
introduce tension into parenting.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 2: Exploding the Myth of Adolescence
Dealing with a Secular Culture

Three areas of tension include:
 Extended period of preparation from
childhood to adult vocation.
 Teenagers remain dependent on their
parents.
 Youth culture encourages ungodly
expressions of hopes and fears.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 2: Exploding the Myth of Adolescence
Dealing with a Secular Culture
Parents are the focal point between teens
and our culture.
 Parents must support their teens until the
“adult” world is ready for them.
 Treat teens like adults.
 Be optimistic and rely on God’s strength.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
51
Chapter 3: The Stages of Life
Introduction
I am writing to you, little children,
because your sins have been forgiven
on account of his name.
I am writing to you, fathers,
because you have known the one who
has existed from the beginning.
I am writing to you, young people,
because you have over come the evil one.
— 1 John 2:12-13 (ISV)
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 3: The Stages of Life
Introduction
I have written to you, little children,
because you have known the Father.
I have written to you, fathers,
because you have known the one who
has existed from the beginning.
I have written to you, young people,
because you are strong
and because God’s word remains in you
and you have overcome the evil one.
— 1 John 2:14 (ISV)
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 3: The Stages of Life
Introduction

The grouping relates to three types of
spiritual maturity.
 Maturity is not based on years of the
calendar.
 Maturity included remembering:
 they have been forgiven and they
know God.
 the benefits in Christ against sin.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 3: The Stages of Life
Introduction

The grouping relates to three types of
Christians.
 Little children
 those who are babies in Christ
 Young people
 those who have grown in grace
 Fathers
 those who are spiritually mature
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 3: The Stages of Life
Introduction
We are told not to remain spiritual
infants, but to advance in spiritual
growth.
 Likewise, the three levels of spiritual
maturity apply to physical growth and our
own family.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 3: The Stages of Life
The Words to Little Children
 Some definitions:
 Teknia
 “Born ones” or “offspring”
 Emphasis on immaturity
 Paidia
 Children under instruction
 The tense of “forgiven”
 Completed action; based on “name”
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 3: The Stages of Life
The Words to Little Children

We have obligations to our children.
 They need to be protected.
 They need to know God.
 They need to know about God.
 They need to be instructed and
disciplined.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 3: The Stages of Life
The Words to the Young People
They are growing up but are not yet
spiritually mature.
 They have three enemies: the world, the
flesh, and the devil.
 They are under direct spiritual attack.
 They are in particular danger.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 3: The Stages of Life
The Words to the Young People

They have overcome the evil one.
 They have an assurance of victory.
 They are strong in spite of the evil one.
 They have the Word of God in them.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 3: The Stages of Life
The Words to the Young People
They have overcome the evil one.
 They have an assurance of victory.
 They are strong in spite of the evil one.
 They have the Word of God in them.
 They are in a dangerous place.
 They must spend time in God’s Word.
 Their purpose comes from God’s Word.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 3: The Stages of Life
The Words to the Fathers
Senior believers have known the one who
has existed from the beginning.
 Spiritual fathers produce spiritual
children, just as natural fathers produce
natural children.
 Spiritual fatherhood is a humbling
experience.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 3: The Stages of Life
The Words to the Fathers
The progression of Paul’s spiritual
growth led to humility.
 The least of the apostles (1 Cor 15:9)
 The very least of the saints (Eph 3:8)
 The chief of sinners (1 Tim 1:15)
 There is a difference between knowing
about God and knowing God.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 3: The Stages of Life
The Words to the Fathers

What is Christian fatherhood?
 Put God first in every area of your life.
 Say “no” to anything that comes
between you and God.
 Saying “no” often means saying “yes”
to something higher.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 3: The Stages of Life
Guideposts on the Road to Maturity

Provide your children with a secure
world to know God’s love.
 Love your spouse.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 3: The Stages of Life
Guideposts on the Road to Maturity

Provide your children with a secure
world to know God’s love.
 Love your spouse.
 Quantity time, not quality time.
 Treat young children as children.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
66
Chapter 3: The Stages of Life
Guideposts on the Road to Maturity

Provide your children with a secure
world to know God’s love.
 Love your spouse.
 Quantity time, not quality time.
 Treat young children as children.
 Beware of achievement pressure.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
67
Chapter 3: The Stages of Life
Guideposts on the Road to Maturity
 Provide your children with a secure
world to know God’s love.
 Love your spouse.
 Quantity time, not quality time.
 Treat young children as children.
 Beware of achievement pressure.
 Help
them to “know the Father.”
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 3: The Stages of Life
Guideposts on the Road to Maturity
 Provide your children with a secure
world to know God’s love.
 Love your spouse.
 Quantity time, not quality time.
 Treat young children as children.
 Beware of achievement pressure.
 Help them to “know the Father.”
 Give
them God’s word.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 3: The Stages of Life
Guideposts on the Road to Maturity

Nurture teens in faith, identity, and
ability to live responsibly.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 3: The Stages of Life
Guideposts on the Road to Maturity
 Nurture teens in faith, identity, and
ability to live responsibly.
 Tell
them that you believe in
them.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 3: The Stages of Life
Guideposts on the Road to Maturity
 Nurture teens in faith, identity, and
ability to live responsibly.
 Tell them that you believe in
them.
 Provide
biblical boundaries.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 3: The Stages of Life
Guideposts on the Road to Maturity
 Nurture teens in faith, identity, and
ability to live responsibly.
 Tell them that you believe in
them.
 Provide biblical boundaries.
 Provide
your teens with
significant adult relationships.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 3: The Stages of Life
Guideposts on the Road to Maturity
Nurture teens in faith, identity, and
ability to live responsibly.
 Tell them that you believe in
them.
 Provide biblical boundaries.
 Provide your teens with
significant adult relationships.
 Develop freedom to explore ideas
without ridicule.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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
Chapter 3: The Stages of Life
Guideposts on the Road to Maturity

Show true fatherhood by enjoying
intimacy with God.
 Be aware of your influence.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 3: The Stages of Life
Guideposts on the Road to Maturity
 Show true fatherhood by enjoying
intimacy with God.
 Be aware of your influence.
 Practice
now the values you want
to see in your children in the
future.
 Pray with and for your children.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 3: The Stages of Life
Guideposts on the Road to Maturity
 Look to Jesus as our best model
for development.
 As He taught, He revealed more
as the disciples grew.
 He delegated responsibility as
the disciples became able and
willing.
 He left His followers to carry out
His mission.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Part Two
Parenting Principles
from the
Life of Jesus
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 4: The Home Training of Jesus
Introduction

The world’s portrait of Jesus
 Barbara Thiering: Jesus the Man
 Married, 3 children, divorced
 A. N. Wilson: Jesus
 Rejects Christianity
 John Spong: Born of a Woman
 Virgin birth oppresses women
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 4: The Home Training of Jesus
Nurturing Your Children at Home

Jewish education was in the home.
 Home education began at age three or
before.
 Parents taught prayers and songs by
rote and repetition.
 Priority stemmed from the value of
children in Jewish society.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 4: The Home Training of Jesus
Nurturing Your Children at Home

Parental responsibility for education was
clearly defined.
 The father’s role:
The father taught faith and history.
The father taught the son a trade.
The father found the son a wife.
The father taught children to swim.
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Chapter 4: The Home Training of Jesus
Nurturing Your Children at Home

Parental responsibility for education was
clearly defined.
 The mother’s role:
The mother assisted teaching sons.
The mother taught girls to be
homemakers.
The girls helped guard the vineyard
and family flock.
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Chapter 4: The Home Training of Jesus
Nurturing Your Children at Home
 At home, children became aware of their
religious heritage.
 They learned the history of their tribe,
clan and family at home.
 Prayers and religious rituals were
indelibly impressed on their minds at
home.
 Children were encouraged to ask
questions (Exodus 12:26).
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 4: The Home Training of Jesus
Nurturing Your Children at Home
 Contents of a Jewish home education:
 Instruction in the Law was through oral
repetition and the written text.
 Instruction included proverbs &
parables.
 Knowledge was shared in open
“question and answer” sessions.
 Instruction in music and musical
instruments was also provided.
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Chapter 4: The Home Training of Jesus
Nurturing Your Children at Home

Luke summarizes Jesus’ early life:
After doing everything required of the Law of
the Lord, Joseph and Mary returned to their
hometown of Nazareth in Galilee. The child
continued to grow and to become strong. He
was filled with wisdom, and God’s favor was
with him.
— Luke 2:39-40 (ISV)
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Chapter 4: The Home Training of Jesus
Nurturing Your Children at Home

What can we learn from Luke’s account
of Jesus’ early life?
 Jesus was given every opportunity to
“grow and become strong.”
 Jesus’ growth was a very normal
process.
 Jesus spiritual life developed.
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Chapter 4: The Home Training of Jesus
Nurturing Your Children at Home

Childhood training is important to the
“wisdom” of Scripture.
 Children can rest on the “absolutes” of
Scripture.
 Personal Bible study helps children
apply biblical insights to their lives.
 Teach a clear structure of Scripture.
 Children need to memorize Scripture.
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Chapter 4: The Home Training of Jesus
Nurturing Your Children at Home

Childhood training is important to the
“wisdom” of Scripture.
 Children can rest on the “absolutes” of
Scripture.
 Personal Bible study helps children
apply biblical insights to their lives.
 Teach a clear structure of Scripture.
 Children need to memorize Scripture.
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Chapter 4: The Home Training of Jesus
Nurturing Your Children at Home

It is the parents’ job to convey biblical
knowledge.
 Jesus’ parents did; Timothy’s parents
did (2 Tim 3:14).
 Content of religious education must be
geared to a child’s understanding.
 Religious education prepares a child
for other types of education.
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Chapter 4: The Home Training of Jesus
Nurturing Your Children at Home
 Instruction included worship.
 Worship is any attitude or action which
brings awareness of God’s presence.
 Children need public and private
worship.
 Wonder and awe are particularly
present in childhood.
 Worship can happen at church, at
home or even at play.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 4: The Home Training of Jesus
Dads are Teachers, Too

A special word to fathers:
 The Bible places fathers under the
obligation of religious instruction.
 In Jesus’ day, there were no elementary
schools to teach religious instruction.
 In Jesus’ day, religious education was
supplemented by the synagogue.
 Jesus’ primary teacher was Joseph.
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Chapter 4: The Home Training of Jesus
Dads are Teachers, Too

A father’s job is to PREPARE
PREPARE the child:
 Production
 Religion
 Education
 Protection
 Affection
 Recreation
 Edification
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Chapter 4: The Home Training of Jesus
Dads are Teachers, Too
Hear, O Israel! The Lord our God is one Lord! And
you shall love the Lord your God with all your
heart and with all your soul and with all your
might. And these words that I am commanding
you this day shall be on your heart. You shall
teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk
of them when you sit in your house, when you
walk by the way, when you lie down, and when
you rise up.
— Deuteronomy 6:4-7
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Chapter 4: The Home Training of Jesus
Dads are Teachers, Too

A real man is a godly man.
 Without blame
 Respectable
 Calm-tempered
 Self-controlled
 Wise
 Just
 Devout
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Chapter 4: The Home Training of Jesus
Dads are Teachers, Too

A real man is a godly man.
 Not contentious
 Hospitable
 Not selfish
 Not a lover of money
 Faithful
 Capable to teach
 Good manager
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Chapter 4: The Home Training of Jesus
Dads are Teachers, Too
 A real man is a godly man.
 Not a misuser of alcohol
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Chapter 4: The Home Training of Jesus
Dads are Teachers, Too
A real man is a godly man.
 Fathers, your child’s most important
teacher is you!

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 4: The Home Training of Jesus
A Father’s Pledge
I will positively influence the quality of
my family life.
 I will love my wife as Christ loved the
church and gave himself for her.
 I will not provoke my children to anger
but will bring them up in the nurture and
admonition of the Lord.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 4: The Home Training of Jesus
A Father’s Pledge
I will receive the Word into my heart daily
and will teach it diligently to my children.
 I will tenaciously retain the right to
determine what will influence my
children.
 I will learn to distinguish between healthy
and unhealthy influences.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 4: The Home Training of Jesus
A Father’s Pledge
I will set the pace spiritually as well as
emotionally.
 I will not only cope with the present but
also work toward the future.
 I will set long-range goals for my
children.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 4: The Home Training of Jesus
A Father’s Pledge
I will always ask “Does this contribute
toward or detract from the characteristics
I am trying to build into my children?”
 I will consistently communicate
acceptance and approval to my children.
 I will raise my children with the basic
premise that certain things are right and
other things are wrong.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 4: The Home Training of Jesus
A Father’s Pledge
I will build rewards and security within
the limits I set, and give discipline when
the limits are exceeded.
 I will consistently enforce respect for and
obedience to authority.
 I will never become too busy “serving the
Lord” to build love and godliness into the
lives of my children.”

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 5: Jesus and the Age 12 Transition
Expecting Teenagers to Behave Like Adults
The early church had little interest in the
life of Jesus before His emergence as a
teacher.
 The event is recorded for a reason:
 For our edification.
 To help us with our own children.
 To show God’s understanding of His
own creation.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 5: Jesus and the Age 12 Transition
Expecting Teenagers to Behave Like Adults

What is the significance of Luke 2:39-52?
 At age 12, Jesus would be making the
transition into adult responsibility.
 Jesus was soon to be a teenager; he
would never be an adolescent.
 There was a separation ceremony: the
bar mitzvah.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 5: Jesus and the Age 12 Transition
The Bar Mitzvah and Psychology

The bar mitzvah is more than a religious
observance.
 The onset of moral readiness:
 The capacity for moral judgments
 The “age of accountability”
 Assign blame or praise for actions
 Feel proud or guilty of actions vs.
involuntary actions or accidents
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Chapter 5: Jesus and the Age 12 Transition
The Bar Mitzvah and Psychology
Therefore, each one of us will have to give
an account to God. — Romans 14:12
 The word for account is “logos.”
 The same term is used in John 1:1 to
describe Jesus as God’s Word.
 The term implies people are capable of
responding to God or rejecting him.
 “Accountability” includes the Gospel.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 5: Jesus and the Age 12 Transition
The Bar Mitzvah and Psychology

The bar mitzvah is acknowledged by
developmental psychologists.
 Heteronomous morality
 Respect for authority
 External laws are sacred
 Autonomous morality
 Mutual respect and equality
 Rules in context of adult relationships
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Chapter 5: Jesus and the Age 12 Transition
Erickson’s Eight Phases in a Life Cycle
 Trust vs. mistrust (babies)
 Autonomy vs. doubt (infants)
 Initiation vs. guilt (young children)
 Industry vs. inferiority (older children)
 Identity vs. role confusion (teens)
 Intimacy vs. isolation (young adults)
 Generativity vs. stagnation (middle adults)
 Ego integrity vs. despair (seniors)
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Chapter 5: Jesus and the Age 12 Transition
Fowler’s Six Stages of Human Faith
Intuitive/Projective (to age 6)
 Mythical/Literal (age 6-12)
 Synthetic/Conventional (age 12+)
 Individuative/Reflective (early adult)
 Conjunctive Faith (mid-life and beyond)
 Universalizing (mid-life and beyond)

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 5: Jesus and the Age 12 Transition
The Bar Mitzvah and Psychology
Teens are adults in the area of faith
development.
 Teens are adults in the area of cognition.
 Paul acknowledged the differences.
 Educators know this:
 Courses requiring abstract thinking
are offered after puberty.
 Adult IQ tests differ from child tests.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 5: Jesus and the Age 12 Transition
The Bar Mitzvah and Psychology
The bar mitzvah is a key transition when
young people learn to take responsibility.
 A definition of maturity:
Who I am may be best understood as a
function of what I am willing to take
responsibility for.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 5: Jesus and the Age 12 Transition
The Bar Mitzvah and Psychology
Maturity involves:
 Individuation
 Becoming a whole person
 Becoming an individual
 The product of development

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Chapter 5: Jesus and the Age 12 Transition
The Bar Mitzvah and Psychology
Maturity involves:
 Autonomy:
 Self-regulation
 Expressed through:
 Independent survival (one’s own work)
 Independent thinking (one’s own eyes)
 Independent judgment (one’s values)

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Chapter 5: Jesus and the Age 12 Transition
The Bar Mitzvah and Psychology

Autonomy begins with the recognition that
I am ultimately responsible for my own
existence.
 No one else is here to take care of me or
fill my needs.
 Self-responsibility entails my willingness
to be accountable for my choices,
decisions, and behavior.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 5: Jesus and the Age 12 Transition
The Bar Mitzvah and Psychology

The bar mitzvah is a time for teens to:
 Become responsible for their relationship with God and with other people.
 Develop individuation and autonomy.
 Prepare for decision making.
 Receive more freedom & responsibility.
 Have self-confidence built up by
parents.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 5: Jesus and the Age 12 Transition
Teenagers Are Terrific
Parents willing to demand responsibility
need not dread the teen years.
 Teens can give themselves to a worthy
project that can affect the whole family.
 Talents will blossom that will amaze you.
 Social life will expand family horizons.
 Teens’ abilities to withstand temptation will
amaze their parents.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
Jesus himself was about thirty years old
when he began his ministry.
— Luke 3:23 (ISV)
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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
Jesus and the Age 30 Transition

What is the Age Thirty Transition?
The Age Thirty Transition frequently begins with a… feeling
that some change is needed if the future is to be
worthwhile. Initially the main questions deal with the life
one has created: What parts must I give up or appre-ciably
change? What is missing from it? Toward the end of the
Age Thirty Transition the man’s orientation is more toward
the future—finding a new life direction and making new
choices or strengthening his commitment to choices
already made.
— D. Levinson in The Seasons of a Man’s Life
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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
Jesus and the Age 30 Transition

What is the Age Thirty Transition?
 The end product of the novice adult
phase.
 A man is a full-fledged adult,
committing himself to a new life
structure to reach his goals.
 The major task is discovering “who I
am in a unique sense.”
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
Jesus and the Age 30 Transition

What brings about the transition?
 A dawning awareness of one’s
mortality.
 Life is short.
 If one hopes to accomplish anything,
a start will have to be made soon.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
 Everyone confronts the transition.
What you set out to do, you didn’t. You set out to avoid the
trap of suburbia; now you’re making mortgage payments.
You swore you’d never be a corporate puppet, but now
your closet is full of gray flannels. You determined to leave
a legacy, but all you’ve left so far is a trail of diapers and
check stubs…. The plumber wishes he’d gone to medical
school and the doctor wishes he were a plumber. The
woman who works regrets the time she didn’t spend with
her kids and the stay-at-home mom wishes she had a
career.
— Max Lucado in He Still Moves Stones
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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
 Everyone confronts the transition.
The years of our life are threescore and ten,
or even by reason of strength fourscore;
yet their span is but toil and trouble;
they are soon gone and we fly away.
So teach us to number our days
that we may get a heart of wisdom.
— Psalm 90:10, 12
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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
In the Talmud, the stages of life from 5 to
100 are outlined; age 30 is the time in life
when “full strength is attained.”
 At Qumran, a man was not considered
eligible for leadership until he was 30.
 In Israel, the age of fitness to serve in the
temple was age 30.
 Joseph was 30 when set over Egypt.

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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
David was thirty when he became king of
Israel (2 Samuel 5:4).
 Ezekiel received his greatest prophecy in
his 30th year (Ezekiel 1:1).
 Worldly acknowledgment:
 Confucius said he planted his feet
“firmly upon the ground” at age 30.

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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
Jesus and the Age 30 Transition

What was Jesus like at 30?
 He was his parents’ first born son.
 It was a place of responsibility.
 It involved the care of younger
siblings.
 Chief heir to father’s wealth.
 You were to take your father’s place
when he died.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
Jesus and the Age 30 Transition

What was Jesus like at 30?
 He was his parents’ first born son.
 His family included four younger
brothers and at least two sisters.

This is the builder, the son of Mary, and the
brother of James, Joseph, Judas, and
Simon, isn’t it? His sisters are here with
us, aren’t they?
— Mark 6:3 (ISV)
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
Jesus and the Age 30 Transition

What was Jesus like at 30?
 He was his parents’ first born son.
 His family included four younger
brothers and at least two sisters.
 He followed Joseph’s occupation.
 He probably had responsibilities in the
family business.
 He was the head of the family at 30.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
Jesus and the Age 30 Transition

The result of Jesus’ age 30 transition:
 His brothers did not believe (John 7:5).
 His family thought he was crazy (Mark
3:19-21).
 Jesus distanced himself from them.

“Who are my mother and my brothers?”
Then looking at the people sitting around
him, he said, “Here are my mother and my
brothers...” — Mark 3:33-35
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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
Jesus and the Age 30 Transition

At 30, there was a radical shift in Jesus’
loyalty:
 From his human family to God’s family.
 From earthly priorities to heavenly
priorities.
 From the physical to the spiritual.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
Jesus and the Age 30 Transition

Baptism was the start of Jesus’ transition.
 It was a decisive break with his past.
 It was the start of a new ministry.
 Jesus was willing to follow God.
 God personally affirmed the choice.
 Jesus wrestled with Satan as to how to
fulfill his role as the Son of God.
 Jesus submitted himself to God’s will.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
Jesus’ transition is our model.
 There is nothing greater we can do than to
give our teens absolute freedom to be all
that God wants them to be.
 Their main priority: to find God’s will.
 Their main activity: to do God’s will.
 When doing God’s will, teens will discover
just how joyful life is.

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Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
God’s work for us is “pleasant.”
 “For my yoke is pleasant and my burden
is light.” — Matthew 11:30 (ISV)
 The term “pleasant” denotes a yoke
which was custom-fitted for the wearer.
 As parents, we must help our teens find
the “pleasant, perfect, and pleasing” will
of God. (Romans 12:2)

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
“Abba, Dear Father”
God the Father should be central in the
lives of emerging adults.
 The Gospel begins not with the cross, but
with the Father who showed his love by
the gift of His Son. (John 3:16)
 The Gospel achieves its purpose when the
Son hands the kingdom over to the Father.
(1 Corinthians 15:24)

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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
“Abba, Dear Father”

Two cries of the believer:
 Jesus is Lord!
So I want you to know that no one who is
speaking by God’s Spirit can say… “Jesus is
Lord,” except by the Holy Spirit. —1 Cor 13:3
 Abba,
Father!
Because you are his children, God has sent
the Spirit of his Son into our hearts to cry out
“Abba! Father!” —Galatians 4:6
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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
“Abba, Dear Father”
“Jesus is Lord!” —
 Is an utterance of faith.
 Involves proper knowledge.
 Is addressed to people.
 “Abba, Father!” —
 Is a cry of praise.
 Involves proper worship.
 Is addressed to God in our prayer lives.

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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
“Abba, Dear Father”
Apart from the Holy Spirit, we cannot
confess Jesus is Lord.
 We are to move on to adoration, worship
and proper experience.
 Jesus came to give us a relationship with
God the Father.

Through him both of us (i.e., Jews and Gentiles)
have access to the Father in one Spirit.
— Ephesians 2:18
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
“Abba, Dear Father”
1st century Jewish fatherhood was very
different from our 21st century fatherhood.
 It involved lifelong dependence.
 It required unquestioned obedience.
 The father was the sovereign protector
of his family.
 Today, the sign of maturity is the son’s
departure from the father’s house.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
“Abba, Dear Father”
The father in the Bible is not the indulgent
“daddy” of our culture.
 The father in the Bible has authoritative
rights to his children.
 Jesus accepted this concept of
fatherhood.
 Jesus affirmed this concept of fatherhood
in His teaching.

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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
“Abba, Dear Father”

“Abba” pictures the uniqueness of the
relationship Jesus enjoyed with his Father.
 The word is not Hebrew, the language of
the Temple and the synagogue.
 The word is Aramaic, the language of
the home.
 The term enjoyed a sense of reverence.
 Not “daddy” but “Dear Father”.
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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
“Abba, Dear Father”
Abba is the intimate word of a family circle
in which obedient reverence is at the heart
of the relationship.
 The cry of “Abba” implies a willingness to
obey the Father’s will at any cost.
 To cry “Abba” means to follow Jesus.
 To cry “Abba” means obedience or it
means nothing at all.

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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
“Abba, Dear Father”
 An illustration of obedience.
During the battle of Sharpsburg, General Robert E. Lee had
a chance encounter with his son Rob, a Confederate
artillery man. Rob, covered with sweat and dirt, was not
immediately recognized by his father. Lee had been telling
Rob’s captain to take whatever men he had left back into
the desperate fight that was raging a few hundred yards
away. Meanwhile, Rob had gone up to speak with his
father. When Lee saw who he was, he expressed his relief
that his son was unhurt. Rob then asked, “General, are you
going to send us in again?” “Yes, my son,” Lee replied.
“You all must do everything you can to help drive these
people back.” Rob then returned to the battle.
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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
“Abba, Dear Father”
Obedience stems from personal
relationship to the father, not from a code
of impersonal regulations.
 Obedience is not an attempt to conform
myself to some abstract ethical platitude.
 Obedience is a response to love.
 Obedience is enabled as well as required.
 It arises out of an on-going relationship.

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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
“Abba, Dear Father”
 We need to stop thinking of a Father who
says “Come and I will give you whatever
you want.”
 We need to face up to the real Father who
says “Come and I will send you wherever I
choose.”
 We need to be ready to become a corn of
wheat that dies in the belief that this is the
way to bring forth fruit.
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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
“Abba, Dear Father”
We need to rediscover the essence of
prayer: getting so deeply into God’s heart
that we pray his will back to him.
 To see the place of the Father in our lives
is to free us from our obsession with our
own needs to a commitment to do
whatever the Father wants.
 This is how our children need to see God.

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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
“Abba, Dear Father”
How do we do this?
 We accept Jesus as Lord.
 We accept God as Father.
 Accepting God as Father:
 He provides for our needs. (Matt. 6:25)
 He protects us from harm. (Psalm 139:5)
 He has adopted us. (Ephesians 1:5)
 We have a new name. (1 John 1:5)

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
“Abba, Dear Father”
Having the approval of your earthly father
is desirable but not always possible.
 Having the approval of your heavenly
Father is always desirable and always
possible.
 Jesus did not let the sentiments of his
family overshadow his call from God.
(Mark 3:35)

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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
“Abba, Dear Father”
 Three helpful hints:
 Let your children know that the Father
seeks obedient sons and daughters.
 “Lord, show us the Father and that will
satisfy us!” (John 14:8)
 The challenge to leave your family for
something greater was issued by One
who kissed his own mother goodbye in
the doorway.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
Favor with People
Jesus was not only rightly related to his
heavenly Father, he was properly related
to people.
 Jesus not only enjoyed the favor of God,
he expressed a winsomeness that made
him a delight to be around.
 Jesus grew up “in favor with... people.”
(Luke 2:52)

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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
Favor with People
 Jesus was a spiritual person.
 Spirituality is a personal response to
and growth in God.
 This response takes place in the context
of corporate prayer, worship, and
service to others.
 We are called to live out and proclaim
the saving power of Christ through
meaningful ministry.
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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
Favor with People
 Jesus was a real person.
 In some quarters, he encountered
hatred (such as the Pharisees).
 But the common people heard him
gladly. (Mark 12:37)
 Jesus was rarely somber or sad.
 He was a man of joy.
 Only by exaggerating his zest for life
could his enemies slander him.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
Favor with People
Don’t make the mistake of the Pharisees:
 A vast gulf between religion and life.
 Disdain for warm human contacts.
 Our faith is not a tedious chore:
 It is a light yoke custom-fitted for us.
 Jesus gave himself to those he loved;
so should we.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
Favor with People
 W. R. Bowie on faith and practice:
It has been rightly said that not much
credit can be given to any man’s religion
whose very dog and cat are not the
better for it. How much more, then,
ought human beings, and especially all
the near and dear circle of a home, to be
the better for it.
— W. R. Bowie in Interpreter’s Bible
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
Favor with People
The most dangerous myth about parenting
is that children have to be around other
young people to become socialized.
 Socialization has nothing to do with a
given age-grade group.
 Children need good adult models:
 who exemplify the desired values.
 who help them develop those values.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
Favor with People
Children do not need the socialization
prevalent in today’s schools:
 They do not need ridicule.
 They do not need the violence.
 They do not need the “me-first” attitude.
 Young people may focus their relational
energy on their peers; adult relationships
make the most permanent mark, however.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
Favor with People
In a warm home environment, true
socialization will be 100 times more
effective than in a classroom.
 Young people need significant interaction
with supportive adults to become secure
adults.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 6: Jesus and the Age 30 Transition
Favor with People
An environment with too few adults
creates children and teens who are:
 More active but less cooperative.
 More distracted.
 More ego-centric.
 More child-oriented than adult-oriented.
 If raising teens “in favor” with people is
important, keep the home fires lit.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
156
Chapter 7: Celebrating Your Child’s Passage into Adulthood
Developing Your Own Rite of Passage

In Jewish society, the proper growth of a
child required a community-ordained
celebration.
 This rite of passage was not left to
chance.
 It was carefully planned.
 Its significance in the life of a Jewish
child cannot be over-emphasized.
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Chapter 7: Celebrating Your Child’s Passage into Adulthood
Developing Your Own Rite of Passage
 How is it that in American churches that a
child is called into adulthood?
 Most churches have nothing even
remotely similar to a bar mitzvah.
 What is important is that at some point
the young people are recognized as
adults with adult responsibility.
 They need to know they are no longer
children but responsible individuals.
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Chapter 7: Celebrating Your Child’s Passage into Adulthood
Developing Your Own Rite of Passage
 Some Christian leaders have sought to
create rituals based on pagan rites.
 In Nigeria, the village elders and the
boy’s father appear outside the hut
where the boy lives.
 The boy is led out of the village and
instructed for two weeks.
 Upon return he is given what he needs
as an adult.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 7: Celebrating Your Child’s Passage into Adulthood
Developing Your Own Rite of Passage
 Dalbey suggests a “Christian” rite of
passage.
 The church elders and the father meet at
the boy’s house.
 The pastor beckons to the mother to
allow the son to come out and join the
men.
 The boy voluntarily goes and is taken to
a church campground for instruction.
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Chapter 7: Celebrating Your Child’s Passage into Adulthood
Developing Your Own Rite of Passage
These rites are important for giving young
people their identities.
 When these rites begin, boys and girls
know they will emerge as adults.
 American society has nothing like these
rites to offer as validation of one’s
manhood or womanhood.

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Chapter 7: Celebrating Your Child’s Passage into Adulthood
Developing Your Own Rite of Passage
American society can only offer a “driver’s license
at sixteen; and freedom at eighteen to join the
Army, attend pornographic movies, and to buy
cigarettes and beer. The message is clear:
becoming a man [in America] means operating a
powerful machine, killing other men, masturbating,
destroying your lungs, and getting drunk.”
— Gordon Dalbey
in Healing the Masculine Soul
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Chapter 7: Celebrating Your Child’s Passage into Adulthood
Developing Your Own Rite of Passage
The struggle for “identity” is almost
unique to Western society.
 The result is catastrophic confusion. Are
they adults when:






They can get a driver’s permit (15)?
They can get a driver’s license (16)?
They graduate from high school (17)?
They can vote (18)?
They can buy alcohol (21)?
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Chapter 7: Celebrating Your Child’s Passage into Adulthood
Developing Your Own Rite of Passage

Teens become desperate for some way to
prove themselves. So they choose:
 Use of alcohol, tobacco, or drugs.
 Sexual intercourse.
 Breaking laws.
 Gangs and peer groups.
 Even
a “good” group leaves the teen with
an identity crisis if it breaks up.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 7: Celebrating Your Child’s Passage into Adulthood
Developing Your Own Rite of Passage
Hold a special worship service at church
or in your home just for your child on or
near his or her 12th birthday.
 Review the child’s family history.
 Have the father say a word of acceptance
or expectation.
 Close with an act of worship.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 7: Celebrating Your Child’s Passage into Adulthood
Developing Your Own Rite of Passage
Just because “society” doesn’t have a
celebration doesn’t mean that parents are
helpless.
 Develop your own “rite of adulthood.”
 Make clear what you expect.
 Maturity is accepting responsibility.
 You expect them to act responsibly even if
no one else does.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Part Three:
On to Maturity
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 8: Expecting Your Teenager to Act Responsibly
What Do You Want Your Children to Become?
When I became a man, I gave up my
childish ways. — 1 Corinthians 13:11 (ISV)
 The time you spend and the way you
spend it determines the heritage you
provide your children.
 What do I most want my child to be?
 The answer depends on our desires.
 Be supportive, not determinative.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 8: Expecting Your Teenager to Act Responsibly
What Do You Want Your Children to Become?

Some excellent goals:
To affirm the claims of Christ in his life.
 To discern true values of life and live by
them.
 To practice the presence of Christ daily.
 To take joy in how God has created him.
 To experience the love of others.
 To be an exemplary role model so others
will want to know God.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 8: Expecting Your Teenager to Act Responsibly
What Do You Want Your Children to Become?

God sees us as we are becoming, not as
we are at some intermediate stage.
Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you,
and before you were born, I consecrated you
and appointed you to be a prophet to the
nations. — Jeremiah 1:5 (ISV)

What you want your children to become,
by God’s grace they can become!
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 8: Expecting Your Teenager to Act Responsibly
Major Areas of Adult Responsibility

Teach them how to maintain a home and
yard.
Lawn mowers, painting, cooking, cleaning,
basic chores.
 Maintain a car: check oil, wash car, etc.
 Make a list of jobs that need to be done
and see that everyone does them.
 Don’t delineate between “masculine” and
“feminine” chores.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 8: Expecting Your Teenager to Act Responsibly
Major Areas of Adult Responsibility

Teach the value of discipline and hard
work and to be responsible with finances.
Let them start their own business.
 Let them pay their auto costs, including
added insurance, gasoline and oil.
 Teach them to meet deadlines.
 Teach your own skills to your children.
 Be a tight-fisted banker until pay day.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 8: Expecting Your Teenager to Act Responsibly
Major Areas of Adult Responsibility

Let your teen make adult decisions — both
minor and life changing decisions.
What and how much to eat.
 When to go to bed.
 Let teens provide input into family
vacations.
 Help them begin to make moral decisions:
friends, leisure time, driving.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 8: Expecting Your Teenager to Act Responsibly
Major Areas of Adult Responsibility
 Help your teens to develop a positive
sexual identity.





Encourage them to take control of this area of
their life; parents must share all they know
about managing it in constructive ways.
Speak frankly and use correct terms.
Help them to think things through.
Help them to regard their body as a temple.
Let them know you have confidence in their
courage to withstand pressure.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 8: Expecting Your Teenager to Act Responsibly
Major Areas of Adult Responsibility

Let your teen have a role in the church.





Jesus, like other men, began to participate as
an adult in Judaism at age twelve.
Teens can sing in the adult choir.
Teens can and should serve as ushers.
Teens can teach in Sunday School.
Teens can join visitation ministries.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 8: Expecting Your Teenager to Act Responsibly
Major Areas of Adult Responsibility
 Let your teen have a role in the church.







Jesus, like other men, began to participate as
an adult in Judaism at age twelve.
Teens can sing in the adult choir.
Teens can and should serve as ushers.
Teens can teach in Sunday School.
Teens can join visitation ministries.
Set up an apprentice ministry program.
Give teens a role in family devotions at home.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
176
Chapter 8: Expecting Your Teenager to Act Responsibly
Major Areas of Adult Responsibility

Help them to develop the habit of mature,
gracious speech.
Reaffirm the importance of polite
expressions.
 Teach by example.
 Let your love be visible and audible.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 8: Expecting Your Teenager to Act Responsibly
Major Areas of Adult Responsibility

Hold them accountable.



Set limits consistent with godly values.
Enforce the limits!
Each family has to define its own values.
 Sports or hobbies vs. music or academics
 Curfews.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 8: Expecting Your Teenager to Act Responsibly
Major Areas of Adult Responsibility
 Hold them accountable.



Set limits consistent with godly values.
Enforce the limits!
Each family has to define its own values.
 Sports or hobbies vs. music or academics
 Curfews.
 Pushing

the limits has consequences.
God allows all people to choose; so must we.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 8: Expecting Your Teenager to Act Responsibly
Major Areas of Adult Responsibility
These seven areas are crucial to
successful living and should be taught in
the home.
 Parents who train teens in these areas lay
the groundwork for future happiness.
 God allows all people to choose; so must
we.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
180
Chapter 9: Teaching Your Teen about Sex and Courtship
Helping Your Teenager Make a Commitment to Purity

Nothing is more important than your home
or family.


The typical teenage boy knows more about
the mechanics of internal combustion than
the mechanics of successful relationships.
Age is not the deciding factor in marriage.


Many 18-year-olds are ready for marriage.
Many 38-year-olds are not.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 9: Teaching Your Teen about Sex and Courtship
Helping Your Teenager Make a Commitment to Purity
Sex is reserved for marriage partners
 It is our responsibility as parents to teach
our children about sex and courtship.





Many parents prefer to ignore the issue.
Ignoring the issue can ruin your child’s life.
Teens are already aware of the issues.
The issue is not the responsibility of schools.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 9: Teaching Your Teen about Sex and Courtship
Helping Your Teenager Make a Commitment to Purity

Premarital sex destroys your teen’s
spiritual life.


You cannot be sexually active and remain
close to God.
Sexually active teens spend more time with
their partners than with their other Christian
friends.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 9: Teaching Your Teen about Sex and Courtship
Helping Your Teenager Make a Commitment to Purity

Premarital sex has an adverse effect on
education.



Sexually active teens rarely do well in school.
The vast majority of pregnant teens drop out
of school.
Sex preoccupies the brain at the exclusion of
all other subjects.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 9: Teaching Your Teen about Sex and Courtship
Helping Your Teenager Make a Commitment to Purity

Premarital sex can destroy your teen
physically.




Promiscuity makes teens vulnerable to
sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).
There is no cure for AIDS; it is always fatal.
There is no cure for gonorrhea; only the
symptoms can be treated.
There is no cure for genital herpes; only the
symptoms can be treated.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 9: Teaching Your Teen about Sex and Courtship
Helping Your Teenager Make a Commitment to Purity

Premarital sex will destroy your teen’s
reputation.



Young people, especially boys, talks about
their escapades.
Teenage girls who surrender their virtue are
avoided by the morally upright.
Teenage girls who surrender their virtue
receive attention only from boys who want
their bodies.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 9: Teaching Your Teen about Sex and Courtship
Helping Your Teenager Make a Commitment to Purity

Premarital sex weakens your teen’s
character.


For teens who say “yes,” premarital sex:
 weakens resolve.
 unleashes uncontrollable passion.
 destroys self-esteem.
Teens who say “no”:
 tend to feel good about themselves.
 are prone to become people of character.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 9: Teaching Your Teen about Sex and Courtship
Helping Your Teenager Make a Commitment to Purity

Premarital sex circumvents God’s perfect
will for your teen.


Teens must be taught to honor and glorify
God with their body.
Nothing prevents a person from experiencing
the perfect will of God like sexual sin.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 9: Teaching Your Teen about Sex and Courtship
Helping Your Teenager Make a Commitment to Purity

Virtue is the will of God for your teen’s life.




Virtue provides an AIDS-free and STD-free
body to take into marriage.
Virtue makes the white wedding dress a
badge of honor and not a hollow mockery.
Virtue during the single years makes divorce
later on less likely.
Virtue will enable your teens to say to their
children that they were virgins when they
were married.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 9: Teaching Your Teen about Sex and Courtship
Helping Your Teenager Make a Commitment to Purity

The best thing we can do for our teens is
to love them.



Teens who are given large doses of love at
home are far less likely to trade their virtue in
the hopes of finding love somewhere else.
We should provide loving role models in our
marriage.
We must talk with our teens about sex; if we
don’t, someone else who does not share our
values will.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 9: Teaching Your Teen about Sex and Courtship
Helping Your Teenager Make a Commitment to Purity

Teach your teen the Law of Emotional
Progression.



First kiss to prolonged kissing to petting to
intercourse.
Once virtue in this area is lost, it can never be
regained.
Our teens need to know that pre-marital
intimacy is sin and that it can easily lead to a
sinful pattern of life.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 9: Teaching Your Teen about Sex and Courtship
Helping Your Teenager Make a Commitment to Purity

Warn your teen of the dangers of sexually
transmitted diseases.



3,000,000+ cases of STDs annually.
Most STDs occur in 15-29 age bracket.
More than 1/2 of all STDs cannot be cured.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 9: Teaching Your Teen about Sex and Courtship
Helping Your Teenager Make a Commitment to Purity

Challenge your teen to make a conscious
commitment to maintain his/her virtue
until marriage.





Make a formal commitment.
Use a ring as a token of their virtue.
Father challenges son; mother challenges
daughter.
Plan the event for the early teen years.
Make a “Challenge to be Chaste.”
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 9: Teaching Your Teen about Sex and Courtship
Guidelines for Courtship

Definition and Goals of Courtship



“to engage in social activities leading to
marriage”
We provide food, clothing, health care and
protection; we should also provide the tools
to maintain virtue.
Courting leads to marriage; dating does not.
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Chapter 9: Teaching Your Teen about Sex and Courtship
Guidelines for Courtship

A Christian should never court anyone but
another Christian.
Courting is intended to lead to marriage.
 Believers should only marry believers.
Stop becoming unevenly yoked with
unbelievers. What partnership can
righteousness have with lawlessness? What
fellowship can light have with darkness? What
harmony exists between Christ and Beliar, or
what do a believer and an unbeliever have in
common? — 1 Corinthians 6:14-15

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 9: Teaching Your Teen about Sex and Courtship
Guidelines for Courtship

Young people should choose to court only
those who have good reputations.


Know something about the person.
Only non-sexual courting is permitted.

Avoid activity that leads to sexual arousal.
Treat partners politely and with respect.
 Courting should not interfere with spiritual
life and growth.

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Chapter 9: Teaching Your Teen about Sex and Courtship
Guidelines for Courtship

Why the term “dating” is not used.




“Dating” in the usual sense is neither
necessary nor advisable.
Dating leads to premature emotional
commitment.
Those who date experience unhealthy and
frequent broken relationships.
Broken relationships make it more difficult to
be satisfied with your eventual married
partner.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 9: Teaching Your Teen about Sex and Courtship
Guidelines for Courtship

Why the term “courting” is used.



Courting is the biblical pattern.
Courtship focuses attention of the issue of
marriage.
Those who court rather than date are more
likely to be more serious and mature.
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Chapter 9: Teaching Your Teen about Sex and Courtship
Guidelines for Courtship

An objection to “courting” answered:



It is alleged that dating expands social
interaction between young men and women.
There is nothing inherently beneficial about
such relationships, especially when dating
leads so easily to promiscuity.
Young people in increasing numbers are
deciding not to date during their high school
years, preferring to court their future spouses
when they are emotionally/financially ready.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 9: Teaching Your Teen about Sex and Courtship
Guidelines for Courtship

One of the most important subject for
young people is how to remain sexually
pure in a mixed-up world.



There is no fool-proof way for parents to
prevent teenage pregnancy.
A parent can do everything right and still face
a tragedy in this area.
The percentage of teen pregnancies is much
lower in families where parents have prepared
their teens for this area of life.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
200
Chapter 10: Toward a Christ-Driven Youth Ministry
Implications for Youth Ministry
“To me it seems clear that our society is
seriously malfunctioning in its role of
preparing children for adulthood. The
upheaval and disarray we are seeing in
childrearing patterns are unprecedented in
modern times.”
—Vance Packard,
Our Endangered Children
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
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Chapter 10: Toward a Christ-Driven Youth Ministry
Four Basic Commitments

First, you must evaluate the success of your
youth ministry, not in terms of how many bells
and whistles you can invent to get youth
involved in your programs, but rather in terms
of how many of your youth are involved in
serving the Lord with other adults in your
church.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
202
Chapter 10: Toward a Christ-Driven Youth Ministry
Four Basic Commitments
Second, you must constantly resist the
temptation to give in to those who would
espouse an “adolescent” approach to youth
ministry.
 Third, you must therefore integrate teens with
adults in every typical church setting.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
203
Chapter 10: Toward a Christ-Driven Youth Ministry
Ministry Opportunities for Young People





Attend “adult” Sunday
School
Read Scripture during
the worship service
Lead in Prayer
Usher and pass out
bulletins
Help with teaching a
Sunday School class





Serve as greeters at
church functions
Sit on committees in the
church
Work in Vacation Bible
School
Volunteer to serve meals
to shut-ins
Prepare “care” packages
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
204
Chapter 10: Toward a Christ-Driven Youth Ministry
Ministry Opportunities for Young People






Go on mission trips with
other adults
Adopt a “grandparent”
Visit nursing homes
Visit children’s hospitals
Set up a local food
pantry or used clothing
ministry
Plan and lead worship

Plan, recruit, and teach a
Bible study to young
people on The Myth of
Adolescence using the
book and the slide
presentation from the
CD-ROM.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
205
Chapter 10: Toward a Christ-Driven Youth Ministry
Four Basic Commitments

Finally, you must reject the myth that healthy
development among youth requires a strong
break with their parents.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
206
Chapter 10: Toward a Christ-Driven Youth Ministry
A Foundational Model, Not an Add-On
Your primary goal is to equip believers to
grow, not to play games.
 Don’t focus on newer and newer gimmicks.
 Focus on programs that equip parents to
nurture their young people in the faith.
 This is not a new model; it’s a return to God’s
design for the church.
 Christ’s call was to a relational ministry.
 Faith becomes real as it is lived by example.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
207
Conclusion
Three Reminders

Scriptures are the most reliable source of
data about human development.




Christians accept Scripture as reliable
regarding theology and doctrine.
Sometimes they question Scriptures in
regards to human development.
But the prospective of secular writers is very
limited.
The presuppositions, methods and goals of
development psychology must be questioned.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
208
Conclusion
Three Reminders

Effective parenting is possible regardless
of the social status, financial wealth, or
educational background of the family.



Quality parenting is about commitment to
child rearing, not wealth accumulation.
All developmental tasks are inter-related.
The sooner that parents uncover the nature
and pattern of a child’s development, the
easier it will be to predict the mode and range
of maturation along his/her life.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
209
Conclusion
Three Reminders

The pattern of development in our study
makes use of phases rather than exact age
norms.



Age serves only as a general guide.
Age should not be used as exacting criteria
for judging developmental progress.
“Abnormal” development may lie with
unrealistic expectations based on what is
thought to be “right” for his/her age.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
210
Conclusion
Final Thoughts
No guide can ever give all the right
answers to every question.
 Our goal is to motivate parents to take
their task seriously.

Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
211
Conclusion
I have taught you the way of wisdom;
I have led you in the paths of righteousness.
When you walk, your steps will not be hampered;
and when you run, you will not stumble.
— Proverbs 4:11-12
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
212
What Must I Do
to Be Saved?
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
213
You Have Broken God’s Law
 The Ten Commandments (Exodus 20)





Worship only God.
Don’t make an idol.
Don’t take God’s name
in vain.
Honor the Sabbath.
Honor your father and
mother.





Do not murder.
Do not commit
adultery.
Do not steal.
Do not lie.
Do not covet.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
214
You Have Broken God’s Law
 The Ten Commandments (Exodus 20)





Worship only God.
Don’t make an idol.
Don’t take God’s name
in vain.
Honor the Sabbath.
Honor your father and
mother.





Do not murder.
Do not commit
adultery.
Do not steal.
Do not lie.
Do not covet.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
215
You Have Broken God’s Law
 The Ten Commandments (Exodus 20)





Worship only God.
Don’t make an idol.
Don’t take God’s name
in vain.
Honor the Sabbath.
Honor your father and
mother.





Do not murder.
Do not commit
adultery.
Do not steal.
Do not lie.
Do not covet.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
216
You Have Broken God’s Law
 The Ten Commandments (Exodus 20)





Worship only God.
Don’t make an idol.
Don’t take God’s name
in vain.
Honor the Sabbath.
Honor your father and
mother.





Do not murder.
Do not commit
adultery.
Do not steal.
Do not lie.
Do not covet.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
217
You Have Broken God’s Law
 The Ten Commandments (Exodus 20)





Worship only God.
Don’t make an idol.
Don’t take God’s name
in vain.
Honor the Sabbath.
Honor your father and
mother.





Do not murder.
Do not commit
adultery.
Do not steal.
Do not lie.
Do not covet.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
218
You Have Broken God’s Law
 The Ten Commandments (Exodus 20)





Worship only God.
Don’t make an idol.
Don’t take God’s name
in vain.
Honor the Sabbath.
Honor your father and
mother.





Do not murder.
Do not commit
adultery.
Do not steal.
Do not lie.
Do not covet.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
219
You Have Broken God’s Law
 The Ten Commandments (Exodus 20)





Worship only God.
Don’t make an idol.
Don’t take God’s name
in vain.
Honor the Sabbath.
Honor your father and
mother.





Do not murder.
Do not commit
adultery.
Do not steal.
Do not lie.
Do not covet.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
220
You Have Broken God’s Law
 The Ten Commandments (Exodus 20)





Worship only God.
Don’t make an idol.
Don’t take God’s name
in vain.
Honor the Sabbath.
Honor your father and
mother.





Do not murder.
Do not commit
adultery.
Do not steal.
Do not lie.
Do not covet.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
221
You Were Born a Sinner

All people are born sinners. We are all
unrighteous people.
 Romans 3:10-12
 As it is written, “Not even one
person is righteous. No one
understands. No one searches for
God. All have turned away. Together
they have become worthless.”
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
222
Your Best Efforts Fail

All people sin. Our best efforts will never
measure up.
 Romans 3:23
 … since all have sinned and
continue to fall short of God’s glory.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
223
The Price of Sin is Death

The price of sin is death.
 Romans 5:12
 Therefore, just as sin entered the
world through one man, and death
through sin, so death spread to
everyone, because all have sinned.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
224
Jesus Paid Your Debt

Jesus paid your debt by dying in your
place.
 Romans 6:23
 For the wages of sin is death, but
the free gift of God is eternal life in
union with Christ Jesus our Lord.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
225
Christ Died for You

Christ died in your place, paying your
price, and suffering so that you would
not have to suffer eternally.
 Romans 5:8
 But God demonstrates his love for
us by the fact that Christ died for us
while we were still sinners.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
226
His Invitation Is to You… Now

His invitation is open to anyone… even
you.
 Romans 10:13
 For “everyone who calls on the
name of the Lord will be saved.”
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
227
Confess, Declare, Believe

You must confess your sin, declare His
Lordship, and believe in your heart that God
raised Christ from the dead.
 Romans 10:9-10
 … if you declare with your mouth that
Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart
that God raised him from the dead, you
will be saved. For a person believes with
his heart and is justified, and a person
declares with his mouth and is saved.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
228
Your Prayer for Salvation

“Lord, Jesus, I know that I am a sinner
and I need you. I know that you paid the
price for my sins by dying on the cross. I
ask that you forgive my sins; and I
receive you as my Savior and Lord. I
thank you for forgiving my sins and
giving me eternal life. Take control of
the throne of my life. Make me the kind
of person you want me to be. Amen.”
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
229
Some Truths to Remember

Remember these simple truths from God’s
Word:
 1 John 1:9
 If we make it our habit to confess our
sins, he is faithful and righteous to
forgive us those sins and cleanse us
from all unrighteousness.
 Romans 8:16
 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit
that we are God’s children.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
230
Some Truths to Remember
 Ephesians

2:8
 For by such grace you have been saved
through faith. This does not come from
you; it is the gift of God and not the result
of works, lest anyone boast.
Romans 8:18
 For I consider that the sufferings of this
present time are not worth comparing to
the glory that will be revealed to us.
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
231
Some Truths to Remember
1
John 5:13
 I have written these things to you who
believe in the name of the Son of God so
that you may know that you have eternal
life.
 2 Corinthians 5:17-18a
 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a
new creation. Old things have
disappeared, and—look!—all things have
become new! All of this comes from God,
who has reconciled us to himself through
Christ…
Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
232
About Davidson Press
Publisher of the International Standard
Version New Testament with CD-ROM.
 Publisher of many other titles.
 Visit our website at
http://davidsonpress.com.
 24/7 SSL encrypted ordering.


Copyright © 1999 David Alan Black. Distributed by Davidson Press, Inc.
233