Transcript Roommates Let the fun begin – or not.

Habit 5
Seek First to Understand,
Then to be Understood
**** Don’t forget, this curriculum is based on the 7 Habits of Highly
Effective Teens.
Self Evaluation
Rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 5 - how you think the
following people would rate you as a listener:
Poor
Average
Great
Your best friend
1
2
3
4
5
Your parents/guardian
1
2
3
4
5
A team partner
1
2
3
4
5
A friend at school
1
2
3
4
5
A family member
1
2
3
4
5
Listening
 How did you do?
 What makes it easy to listen to another person?
 How do you feel when someone isn’t listening to
you?
 How do you feel when someone IS listening to you?
Please Listen
 Share this poem from the
7 Habits book.
 Think about it. Have you
ever felt this way?
 Do you think friends or
family have felt this way?
 Let’s learn how to be a
GREAT listener.
Five Poor Listening Styles
 Spacing Out – your mind is wandering to another place
 Pretend – you don’t pay much attention but throw in the
occasional “yah” or “uh-huh”
 Selective – you only hear worlds that click in your own
interest
 Word – you only listen to words, not tone, feeling or
body language
 Self-centered – you see everything from only your point
of view
Let’s See a Few In Action
 Select two poor listening styles from the previous
slide.
 Have four volunteers pair up.
 Each pair will illustrate one of the selected poor
listening style.
 Have Fun!
Genuine Listening
 You really have to listen to get inside another
person’s mind and heart.
 It’s standing in another person’s shoes.
 It’s repeating back what others are saying.
 Remember – it’s not just the words:
 7% is the words
 40% is the tone/feeling
 53% is body language
Please……Hear What I’m
Not Saying
 No matter how hard people may appear on the
surface, most everyone is tender inside and has a
desperate need to be understood.
 This is a great way to visualize this…….
 Read aloud a page in 7 Habits (on next slide)
The Keys to Being a Good
Listener
 Genuine Listening – listening with your eyes, ears
and heart
 Empathy – understanding and identifying with the
feelings and emotions of another
 Kind – treating other people, animals and things
well
 Mirroring – repeating back in your own words what
the other person is saying and feeling
What else do you think is
important?
 Brainstorm a list of other things that make good
listeners.
 Add the four things from the previous slide.
 You will need them for the next activity.
 Next to this list – create a list of 6 topics you could
discuss with just about anyone.
Now…… It’s your turn.
 Get in groups of 3 (your advisor can decide how
that is done).
 Each person will have a role:
 1 – talker
 2 – listener
 3 – observer
 You will rotate every two minutes.
The Steps
 Does each person have a role?
 Do you have a topic?
 Ready…….break (talk for 2 minutes)
 Stop
 The observer reports how the two people did in their
role.
 Now we switch.
 Continue this until each person has been in each of the
three roles.
Let’s try this for real.
 See how long you can keep eye contact with
someone while they are talking to you.
 Sometime this week, ask your parent, “How’s it
going?” Open your heart and practice genuine
listening. You’ll be surprised by what you learn.
 The next time you find yourself wanting to bury
your feelings deep inside you, don’t do it. Instead,
express them in a responsible way.