Habit 1- Be Proactive
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Transcript Habit 1- Be Proactive
By Mrs. Johnson and Mrs. Adamoski
Covey, Sean. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens. New York: Fireside, 1998.
“I am the force, I am the captain of my life.
I can choose my attitude. I’m
responsible for my own happiness and
unhappiness. I am in the driver’s seat of
my destiny, not just a passenger.”
Proactive- those who take responsibility
for their lives
Reactive- those who blame others for
their problems
Every day you will have about
100 chances to be proactive or
reactive…THE CHOICE IS YOURS!
Reactive Statements
Proactive Statements
LISTEN TO YOUR LANGUAGE
I’ll try
That’s just the way I am
There’s nothing I can do
I can’t do it
You ruined my day
I can do it
I can do better than that
Let’s look at all the options
I can do it, there has to be a way
I’m not going to let your bad mood ruin
my day
Reactive People
make choices based
on impulse.
They are like a can
of pop. If life shakes
them up a bit, they
explode.
People who suffer from this “virus”
say things like:
“I would be starting in today’s
game, but the coaches have
something against me.”
“I would have gotten an A on
my test if my best friend didn’t
make me stay out late last
night.”
“I would be happier if my
parents would just get off my
back.”
THEY NEVER TAKE RESPONSIBILITY
FOR THEIR ACTIONS, PROBLEMS,
AND HAPPINESS.
Are easily offended
Blame others
Get angry and say
things they later
regret
Whine and complain
Wait for things to
happen to them
Change only when
they have to
I
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost — I am hopeless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
II
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again
I can't believe I'm in the same place
But it isn't my fault
It still takes a long time to get out.
III
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I see it is there.
I still fall in — it's a habit
My eyes are open
I know where I am
It is MY fault.
I get out immediately.
IV
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I walk around it.
V
I walk down a DIFFERENT street
Don’t become easily
offended
Take responsibility for
your choices
Think before you act
Bounce back when
something bad
happens
Always find a way to
make it happen
Realize you can’t
control everything
that HAPPENS to you
HOW WE
RESPOND to
what happens
to us
We will feel like VICTIMS if we worry
about the things we cannot change
Story:
“I got on my motorcycle to ride to
work one day. At an
intersection, a laundry truck
and I collided. The bike went
down, crushed my elbow and
fractured my pelvis, and the
gas can popped open on my
bike. As the gas poured out,
the heat of the engine ignited
it, and I got burned over 65% of
my body. After numerous
surgeries and treatments I
suffered another tragedy. A
few years later, I was in a plane
crash that paralyzed the lower
half of my body.”
He tells people who are
also suffering from
extreme conditions…
“Before this happened
to me, there were
10,000 things I could
do. Now there are
9,000. Rather than
dwell on the 1,000
things I lost, I look
forward to the 9,000
things left.”
Unfortunately, kids who
come from
dysfunctional families,
are at a higher risk of
repeating the same
bad choices or habits.
Hilda came from a family that
didn’t make much money. Her
mom worked in a factory and her
dad made just above minimum
wage. They were always busy,
and didn’t have much time to
help Hilda with school. Hilda was
determined to finish high school,
go to college, and get a good
job, even though nobody in her
family had made it through
college. Although she got
married and had a baby right
after high school, she continued
to go to school and met her goal
of graduating college. Now,
because of her education, she is
able to value school and support
her kids through their education.
She was the POSITIVE CHANGE in her
family!
You overhear your best friend badmouthing you in front of a group. She
doesn’t know you overheard her. In
fact, just five minutes ago she was telling
you a secret. You feel hurt and
betrayed.
How would you handle this if
you are being reactive/proactive?
Reactive Choices
Proactive Choices
Tell her off
Become depressed because you are so
hurt by her
Give her the silent treatment for 2 months
Spread vicious rumors about her, after all,
she did it to you!
Forgive her
Take some time to cool off, then confront
her, and talk it out
Ignore it and give her a second chance.
Realize we all have weaknesses, and
you’ve probably talked about her at
some point too.
You start a new school and one of the
students starts bullying you. For some reason
this person has decided he doesn’t like you.
He says rude and insulting things to you
everyday, and he’s in a lot of your classes.
He constantly talks behind your back and is
getting other kids to dislike you too.
How would you handle this if you were being
reactive/ proactive?
Punch him
Yell at him
Talk bad about him to other kids
Cry
Walk with your head down as you pass
him in the halls
Reactive
Proactive
Ignore him
Keep your head held high
Make friends with other people in the school
Report him to a teacher
Smile at him and say “hello”
“If you don’t react to his bullying attempts, it
will get old and he will move on.”
When someone is rude to
you, where do you get
the power to resist
being rude back?
JUST PUSH PAUSE!
If you learn to pause, get
control, and think
about how you will
respond, you’ll make
smarter decisions.
Self Awareness- I can
stand apart from myself
and observe my
thoughts and actions
Conscience- I can listen
to my inner voice to
know right from wrong
Imagination- I can
envision new possibilities
Willpower- I have the
power to choose
The more you use these
tools, the stronger they
become, and the easier
it is to be proactive.
You didn’t study for
your Spanish midterm,
and one of your
friends snagged a
copy of the test. You
reach for the stolen
copy of the test, but
you stop…
Use your
POWER PACK TOOLS
Imagine- what could
happen if you do this?
Conscience- what
does my inner voice
tell me I should do?
Willpower- what will I
choose?
It’s so much easier to be reactive and
lose your cool. Acting this way doesn’t
take any control. And it’s easier to
whine and complain than take on the
responsibilities. Without question, being
PROACTIVE is the higher road, that takes
more effort.
courageous, persistent, and smart
easy to work with
cooperative
not stressing about the things they
cannot change
in control of their lives
positive thinkers
HAPPY!
Do something today that you
have always wanted to do,
but never dared. Raise your
hand in class, say hi to
somebody you’d like to be
friends with, try out for a sports
team…
Write yourself a post-it note. “I
will not let _________ (person’s
name) determine how I feel
today” Hang it in your locker
as a reminder.
If you get in a fight with a
friend or parent, be the first to
apologize and open lines of
communication.
Push the pause button before
you react to somebody
bumping you in the hall,
calling you a name, or cutting
you in line.
Use your tool of self-awareness
right now. What is your most
unhealthy habit?
_____________________________
What are you going to do
about it?
_____________________________
Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man’s
doing but my own. I AM THE FORCE! I can
clear any obstacle before me, or I can be
lost in the maze. My choice, my
responsibility, win or lose, only I hold the key
to my future.”
-Elaine Maxwell
Are you in the driver’s seat of your life, or are
you merely the passenger?
The choice is yours!