Transcript Building Self-Esteem in Your Child

Building Self-Esteem
in Your Child
Vicki Hilliard, LSW
Debby Rockwood, LISW-S
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“Self-esteem is the real magic wand
that can form a child’s future. A child’s
self-esteem affects every area of her
existence, from the friends she chooses,
to how well she does academically in
school, to what kind of job she gets, to
even the person she chooses to marry.”
-Stephanie Martson
Definitions of self-esteem
 Feelings
 The
of being loveable and capable
idea that “sticking to it” brings success
 Collections
of feelings and beliefs we
have about ourselves: our “selfperceptions”
A child’s self-esteem changes as
he/she grows. This happens
because self-esteem is affected
by a child’s experiences and new
perceptions. It is helpful to be
aware of signs of healthy and
unhealthy self-esteem.
Signs of Healthy Self-Esteem
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Tries new things
Won’t give up just
because they don’t
learn something easily
right away
Enjoy interacting with
others, comfortable in
social situations
Says “I don’t understand
this,” rather than “I’m an
idiot”
Sense of optimism
prevails
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Is happy, enthusiastic
Adaptable to changes
Willing to try new things
Participates in variety of
activities
Resistant to peer
pressure
Signs of Unhealthy Self-Esteem
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Doesn’t want to try new
things
Give up easily, wait for
someone else to take over
Have all or nothing
attitude: “I can never do
anything right!”
Frequently speak
negatively about
themselves: “I’m stupid”
“I’m no good at math” “I’ll
never learn how to do this”
Sense of pessimism
predominates
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Afraid to make mistakes
Overly sensitive to criticism
Shy, timid, withdrawn
Jealous and possessive
Has trouble entering loving
relationships
Low frustration tolerance
Overly critical and
disappointed in themselves
Ways Parents Can Nurture Their
Child’s Self-Esteem
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Be a positive role model. Nurture your own selfesteem and your child will model what you say
and do.
Watch what you say: Praise for effort. Be truthful.
“Well, you didn’t make the team, but I’m really
proud of the effort you put into it.”
Be spontaneous and affectionate: Say “I’m so
proud of you” or “I think you’re terrific” with a hug.
Teach life skills and help them master them. Skills
such as how to be respectful to others, how to
make friends, how to help with dinner and other
chores, how to sew or work on a car.
More ways to help…
 Truly
listen to your child
 Define limits and rules clearly and enforce
them
 Let your child make decisions
 Have reasonable expectations
 Be available and give support
 Spend time together
 Catch your child doing good things
“Children need models
more than they need
critics.”
-Joseph Joubert
…More Ways Parents Can Nurture
Their Child’s Self-Esteem
 Involve
them in activities like sports,
Gymnastics,4-H where they learn how to
control their body or create things and
become good at it with practice
 Remember ALL children are born with
gifts. It is our job to help them discover
what those gifts are through exposing
them to new experiences and focusing
on their strengths rather than weaknesses.
Above all else…. LOVE YOUR
CHILD UNCONDITIONALLY. Show
your child you care about them.
Hug them. Tell them you love
them.