Transcript Slide 1

MULLET
C OP
CLICK
2004 saw a rise in the number of
mullets being sported by
individuals purporting to have
fashion sense.
Cities whose denizens chose to
mullet-up, noticed a dramatic
fall in tourism and related income.
It was time to call in...
If your mullet fits into any of the following
categories... YOU WILL BE BUSTED
The Seventeen
The choice mullet for
redneck piss-heads.
Banned in most European
countries, it is still
prevalent in Southern
U.S. states.
Wear it here and YOU WILL
BE BUSTED
The Deliverance
The Deliverance is a close relative of The Seventeen, and
generally worn by denizens of Alabama and Kentucky in
the U.S.A. It has however been spotted in Melton.
The Gilly. Worn exclusively by people with
massive lugs, The Gilly remains the stalwart
haircut of fuckwits like this everywhere.
The Lioness is a mane
of hair worn by females
attempting to emulate
their male counterparts.
Often accompanied by a
male wearing The Lion,
the female adorns herself
in bright colours and
uses oral incense burners
to attract Lions back to
her caravan.
Prevalent in Moe and
Melton, wear The Lioness
and YOU WILL BE BUSTED–
The Lioness
The Wet Lion
Here are the 2 known varieties of The Lion. The Wet Lion is
achieved through excessive use of Product. Our man on the
right has chosen to enhance his Lion with the use of colour
highlights and earrings.
The Methamphetamine is a
personal favourite, as there
is a genuine chance the wearer
is going to kill himself in the
near future with illicit drug
use.
The Methamphetamine
or The Meth
Mullet cops are trained to deal
with wearers of The Meth. Anyone seeing a Meth wearer should
not approach them but simply
call 000 and ask for POLICE.
I would agree that the
subject here appears to
be wearing The Meth,
but in fact he is wearing
the classic Cyrus. A hair
style made famous by that
legend of country music
and champion of bootscooting, Billy Ray Cyrus.
Despite it’s famous father,
The Cyrus is definitely a
fashion nightmare...
Wear it and YOU WILL BE
BUSTED.
The Cyrus
The Scrote
The Scrote is worn by criminals world wide and has
reached epidemic proportions in Moe and Robinvale.
A special Mullet Cop task force has been created to
specifically target and prosecute barbers trafficking
in Scrotes.
The Chief almost made it
into the regulatedmullet category, however
after it’s appearance at
a number of homicides,
the decision to outlaw
The Chief was made.
The subject to your left
is in fact deceased and is
lying in a pool of blood.
The Chief
He was murdered by
another Chief wearer,
following a dispute over
a glory hole at a local
perverts hangout in
Sunbury Victoria.
His
Hers
The Kyneton
...nuff said
The Mouth
Another favourite. The Mouth is generally worn by
males with low life expectancy. The Mouth is found
in hotels and hospital emergency depts world-wide.
Unfortunately the only subject we could find for this
slide show was unconscious.
Hailing from Scandinavia,
The Norseman combines a
traditional Viking hairstyle with the modern
mullet.
However, the two were never
intended to meet and the
wearer faces severe
punishment if apprehended.
The combination of The
Norseman, pink skin and
denim shorts suggest this
male is in fact from
Scandinavia, where The
Norseman is tolerated only
because of it’s historical
roots. Wear it here and YOU
WILL BE BUSTED.
The Norseman
The Goran
The Zoran
The Ivan
The Drago
The Serb
Known in Australia as either The Goran, Zoran, Ivan, Drago
or Serb, depending on what state you’re in, this mullet
is popular with our Slavic immigrants. It’s origins are unknown, as traditional Slavic haircuts suggest shorter hairstyles are the
preferred option.
A sad little number, worn by aging celebs as their
eyes become more slanted and their skin gets shinier
thanks to the surgeon’s knife.
The WTF or What-The-Fuck is a borderline call by
the Mullet cop, to arrest or not to arrest?
The Sportsman is
truly a Mullet cop’s
trophy bust, purely
because they are so
rare in the wild.
Hardly seen outside
his home, The
Sportsman prefers
the shaded lounge or
study where he toils
on his computer or
watches TV for weeks
on end.
The Sportsman
The Mangles
The Mangles, paired up with a pair of Speedos and cruising Hungry Jacks like he owns the place, this bloke is just asking
to be busted.
Alby Mangles tested this mullet back in the 70s when he was a B-Grade celeb. Alby who? That’s right - stay away
from The Mangles.
Increasingly popular
with the older generation,
The Dirty Thirty is sometimes referred to as the
Claytons Mullet due to
it’s similar length to a
regular haircut.
Only the close cropped
sides and below collar
length ringlets give the
discerning observer
confirmation that this is
actually a bona fide
mullet.
The
Dirty
Thirty
If you’re caught wearing
this, you better have a
good lawyer.
The Desperado
The desperado. Worn by men desperate to find
a partner before those last few follicles leave
the tops of their heads.
Similar in appearance to The WTF, this bloke is
not in a financial position to get a hairtransplant. Lets hope she can bake cakes with
files in them if he gets busted wearing that.
Sadly, The Bull has
been added to the
list of mullets making
a comeback in the
lesbian scene.
The Bull
Once touted as the
unofficial head-dress
of lesbians world wide,
it had virtually
disappeared at the
beginning of the 90s,
replaced by The Samson.
The Samson. Origins
unknown, however it
has been reported the
Top-Dog from the
Fairlea Women’s
Prison circa 1987 wore
a similar style.
Another theory is that
it is derived from a
wild party where the
women were encouraged
to wear a Mirkin on
their heads.
The Samson
Mirkin = artificial pubic
hair used by porn stars,
similar to a toupee.
Supposedly for hard-asses, The Hammer is
worn with a goatee and a surly look, Mullet
cops are the only thing these guys fear.
The Duke
The Duke is the older man’s mullet. The wearer is often
in his late 40s or 50s and can be found swanning around
shopping centres like Lord Muck from Shit Island. In the
eyes of the law, age makes no difference under the Mullet
Act 2004. YOU WILL BE BUSTED REGARDLESS OF AGE.
This poor sap is wearing The
Drifter. The dirtiest and most
unhygienic of all mullets.
Possibly a police photo, the
wearer clearly looks unhappy
with his choice of mullet.
The Drifter is really the
only option for lower socioeconomic groups and requires
little or no maintenance
once the levels of natural
hair oils builds up.
One of the most common forms
of mullet brought before the
courts.
The Drifter