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The Smarts That Matter Most! Building Your EQ to Develop Positive Relationships Cedar Valley APICS January 10, 2012 August 5 – October 10, 2010 Presentation Objectives Identify the four elements of emotional intelligence (EQ) Assess personal strengths and weaknesses relative to demonstrating EQ Discuss practical techniques to build EQ EQ Skills What I See (Recognition) Personal Competence Self-Awareness (Self) Social Competence (Others) What I Do (Regulation) Self-Management Social Awareness Relationship Management Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Emotional Intelligence is your ability to recognize and understand emotions and your skill at using this awareness to manage yourself and your relationship with others. A Case Study Maya Angelou People will forget what you did. People will forget what you said. They will never forget how you made them feel. Top 5 Amygdala Triggers in the Workplace 1. Condescension and lack of respect 2. Being treated unfairly 3. Being unappreciated 4. Feeling that you are not being listened to or heard 5. Being held to unrealistic deadlines Source: The Brain and Emotional Intelligence: New Insights by Daniel Goleman, 2011 EQ Trends: True or False EQ is a personality trait that cannot be developed. 70% of managers and team members do not handle stress well. Women tend to score lower in social awareness than men. 70% of leaders who scored high in EQ also ranked among the most skilled decision makers. With practice, people who are low in EQ can work to improve a specific skill within two months. IQ, EQ and Personality IQ EQ Personality What About You? Which EQ Skill is a Strength? Self-Awareness Self-Management - Understand your emotions as they -Handle stress well happen -Tolerate frustration without getting - Confident upset - Admit your shortcomings - Don’t speak or act when it won’t help - Recognize the impact your behavior has - Don’t do things you regret when you on others are upset - Clearly understand your values - Look for the best in a bad situation - Focus on what you can control Social Awareness Relationship Management - Open to feedback - Recognize other people’s feelings - Active listening - Focused and attentive - “Walk in another’s shoes” - Pick up on others’ moods - Pay attention to body language and vocal tone -Communicate clearly and effectively -Directly address people in difficult situations -Take time to get to know other people -Demonstrate accountability -Keep a positive attitude -Inclusive -Show appreciation Self-Awareness Self-Management Social Awareness Relationship Management Building EQ Educate and assess Get MOTE-ivated 6 months of focused practice One EQ skill at a time Don’t do it alone – ask for feedback Prepare for setbacks – “How Fascinating!” Building Your Individual EQ (Emotional Intelligence 2.0, Bradberry and Greaves) Self-Awareness: Identify “hot buttons” Lean into your discomfort Feel your emotions physically Slow down and be “in the moment” Visit your values Self- Management: Count to 10 – “pause button” Get enough sleep and exercise Positive self-talk Take a break - relax Focus on what you can control Meditation and mindfulness Social Awareness: Practice active listening Step into their shoes Eliminate distractions Test for accuracy – paraphrase See the whole picture Relationship Management: Be vulnerable and open Take feedback well When you care, show it Avoid giving mixed signals Be a “bucket filler” Get good at conflict Always remember….. “People high in emotional intelligence have been leaning into their discomfort, making mistakes, practicing, and getting better at their skills for years. It won’t take much time from your day to day work on the skills you’ve learned today, and improved emotional intelligence will carry over into everything you do.” Dr. Travis Bradberry and Dr. Jean Greaves Authors, The Emotional Intelligence Quickbook, 2005 Great Resources Building the Emotional Intelligence of Groups by Vanessa Druskat and Steven Wolff, Harvard Business Review, 2001. Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves, TalentSmart, 2009. Quick Emotional Intelligence Activities for Busy Managers by Adele Lynn, AMACOM, 2007. Putting Emotional Intelligence to work: Equip Yourself for Success by Jeff Feldman and Karl Mulle, ASTD Press, 2007. PeopleSmart: Developing Your Interpersonal Intelligence by Mel Silberman and Freda Hansburg, Berrett-Koehler, 2000.