Transcript Presentation title - Wiltshire Healthy Schools

Dealing with Challenging
Parents
Judy Vanderpump
Family Learning Manager
• Internationally, dealing with difficult parents ranks
among the top three stressors for teachers
• You would probably rather book in for root canal
treatment!
Facts about parents who are difficult
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They do love their children
They don’t care about you
They won’t change on their own
Their perceptions are their reality
They CAN change how they work with you
You cannot ignore them and they will not go away
• ‘Parents, not schools’ key to
exam success
Telegraph – Friday 12th October 2012
The research…..
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Feinstein and Symons (1999) found that parental interest in their child’s education
was the single greatest predictor of achievement at age 16
Parental involvement in their child’s reading has been found to be the most
important determinant of language and emergent literacy (Bus, van Ijzendoorn &
Pellegrini, 1995)
Research also shows that the earlier parents become involved in their children’s
literacy practices, the more profound the results and the longer lasting the effects
(Mullis, Mullis, Cornille et al., 2004).
Educational deficits emerge early in children’s lives, even before entry into school
and widen throughout childhood. Even by the age of three there is a considerable
gap in cognitive test scores between children in the poorest fifth of the population
compared with those from better off backgrounds. This gap widens as children
enter and move through the schooling system, especially during primary school
years. (Goodman & Gregg, 2010)
more research……..
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Dearing, Kreider, Simpkins and Weiss (2006) for the Harvard Family Research project, found
that family involvement in school matters most for children whose mothers have less education.
More specifically, the authors found that increases in family involvement in the school predicted
increases in literacy achievement for low income families and that family involvement in school
matters most for children at greatest risk.
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Carter-Wall and Whitfield (2012) in a study for the Joseph Rowntree Foundation, in closing the
educational attainment gap found that interventions focused on parental involvement in
children’s education demonstrated evidence of impact on raising attainment. The study suggests
that in terms of future policy and practice the area with the most promise in terms of raising
attainment is parental involvement in their children’s education
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Field (2010) in his report ‘The Foundation Years: preventing poor children becoming poor
adults,’ noted that the home learning environment has a positive impact on attainment for poor
children with certain ethnic backgrounds. e.g., poor Chinese children (as measured by FSMs) do
better at GCSEs than any other group except Chinese pupils who are not poor…’
Preventing challenges
• Recognise parents as important participants – exhibit a positive
attitude towards parental involvement
• Increase communication with parents
• Contact parents as soon as you see academic problems or
negative behaviour patterns
• Be quick to praise the efforts of parents
Dealing successfully with telephone
conversations
• Be prepared – find out as much about the problem/concern
before the phone call.
• Gather any information, files and notes to hand. Show that you
know their child well.
• Make the phone call when you are relatively stress-free and
have time to listen to the parents. Do let them have their say
and to articulate their concerns.
• Take notes and make verbal comments to show you are
listening.
• Paraphrase and clarify.
Dealing successfully with telephone
conversations
• With perpetually needy or talkative parents, phone a
few minutes before taking a class.
• Let the parents know it was important for you to return
their call but that you only have a few minutes to talk.
• Encourages them to keep it ‘short and sweet’.
Face to face conversations
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Approach the parent with respect but also expect respect
Project confidence by sitting next to the parent
Remain calm, friendly and professional at all times
Don’t argue or interrupt; just listen first and persuade later
Keep an open mind
Emphasise all positives and academic gains first
Share student work that supports your concerns
Put yourself in the parent’s shoes – this is your ‘home territory!’
Be aware of your body language
Watch the parents’ body language – look for signs of confusion,
anxiety, fear
• End meeting on a positive note and thank the parents for coming
Know when to give in……..
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Know when to end a meeting – look for signs of escalation
Not every parent can be won over
Don’t take it personally
Some people are just abrasive, argumentative or difficult
Kill them with kindness – interact with difficult parents MORE
often! Let them know that they will get a smile and a pleasant
demeanour every time, regardless of how difficult they have
been.
To get in touch………
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Judy Vanderpump
[email protected]
Tel: 01225 898451
Professional Development Centre, Melksham