Transcript Healthy Relationships - Franklin County Public Schools

DATING
How to develop health relationships.
Components of healthy relationships:
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Communication
Trust
Respect
Love
COMMUNICATION
Conflict Resolution Skills
How to Deal with Disagreements
1. Define the problem clearly from
both points of view.
2. State what you can agree on.
3. Brainstorm together over all of the
possible alternatives to the problem.
4. State what changes each of you is
personally willing to make to arrive at a
solution.
5. Summarize the best solution you have
considered.
TRUST
Trusting
Trust is an extremely
important aspect to a
healthy relationship!
Not
Trusting
Lets you hang out
with your friends
Calls you every
second of the day
and demands
information
Understands when
you have to change
plans
Won’t let you
change plans or
makes you feel
guilty
Lets you wear what
you want
Get’s jealous when
other people are
talking to you
RESPECT
On a practical level respect includes taking
someone's feelings, needs, thoughts, ideas,
wishes and preferences into consideration.
It means taking all of these seriously and
giving them worth and value. In fact, giving
someone respect seems similar to valuing
them and their thoughts, feelings, etc.
It also includes acknowledging them, listening
to them, being truthful with them, and
accepting their individuality and
idiosyncrasies.
What does love mean to you?
What is the difference between truly being in
love and infatuation?
Always remember sex does not = love!
What’s the difference between
real love & infatuation?
What is Dating Violence?
Dating violence is
defined as the physical,
sexual, psychological
or emotional violence
within a dating
relationship.
Examples of Abuse in Dating Relationships Include:
Emotional Abuse:
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Making a Partner Feel Insecure: name calling; put downs; criticisms; humiliating; attacking the
person's capabilities; saying "Nobody wants you.”
Mind Games: making to feel guilty; making to feel crazy; blaming the partner for things that go
wrong; having the partner wait by the phone.
Isolating the Dating Partner from friends & family: pressuring the partner to give up activities,
sports, work, and hobbies; keeping tabs on the dating partner when they go out by paging,
calling or dropping by.
Using Intimidation: Breaking objects; punching walls; threatening looks; threatening to hurt the
partner; threatening the partner's family, friends or pet; destroying treasured belongings.
Acting Extremely Jealous: not allowing the dating partner to talk to anyone of the opposite sex;
accusing the partner of flirting or having sexual intercourse with others
Physical Abuse:
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Shoving or pushing; squeezing a shoulder; restraining by holding a wrist or holding a hand
tightly; shaking, pulling hair; slapping, punching; kicking; choking; pushing out of a car.
Sexual Abuse:
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Any unwanted sexual contact, comments or gesturing within a relationship; manipulating a
partner into doing something sexual that makes them feel uncomfortable.
Jennifer Ann Crecente
A high school honors student
that was murdered by an exboyfriend on February 15,
2006.
Bunn high school student fatally shot
May 11, 2007 BUNN, N.C. A 17-year-old Bunn high
school junior's estranged boyfriend gunned her
down in her front yard Thursday afternoon when
she arrived at the home where she lived with her
aunt and the couple's 2-year-old son.
Christopher Harris, was waiting in a car when
Hernandez got off a school bus. She took off
running, running to the front porch, to the front
door, and he jumped out of his car,. He got out
with a shotgun and shot her in the back. She fell to
the ground. He ran up and shot her point-blank.
Hernandez died on the front steps of the home
investigators said the couple's 2-year-old son was
inside the house, along with her aunt. Hernandez's
school backpack lay by the four steps leading from
the lawn to the porch.Thomas tried to get inside.
He could not get in and then turned the shotgun
on himself.
Sophie Elliot
Stabbed to death by a former boyfriend on
January 9, 2008
Sophie died after being stabbed or cut 216
times
Her mother described the "on-again, off.again" relationship between her daughter
and her boyfriend.
Conversations she had with her daughter
in which Sophie told her of put-downs from
him, a series of arguments, an assault that
happened in his flat a week before her
death and how he had told her she had
ruined his chances of becoming a lecturer
at the university.
DON’T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU!
What can you do yourself?
• Go to a safe place - remove yourself from the
situation
• Get help - call police, friend, family
• Think seriously about your situation - you may
think you can handle it … but think twice to be
sure.
How to Help a Friend Who is Being Abused
• Listen to what your friend has to say. Don't be Judgmental! Don't
make them feel ashamed. They probably feel bad enough already.
• Tell your friend that you are available when they need to talk .
• Make it clear that you care, and that you are worried.
• Talk in private and don't gossip about what your friend has
confided.
• Let the person know why you are concerned.
• Be specific. Refer to certain incidents you have witnessed and not
to the relationship in general.
• Talk about what you saw and how it made you feel .
• Tell them the ways you believe the specific behavior is having an
impact on them - "When she put you down you seemed
embarrassed and then you made excuses for what she did." Or
"When he was yelling you seemed frightened.”
When to Talk to an Adult
• Who should you talk to? Sit down privately with your
friend and come up with the right person together. Write
down what you need from the adult, what you want them
to be like. Make sure the adult you choose has your best
interest at heart. It might be a parent, a teacher, a school
counselor, a coach, or a friend's parent.
• If you think your friend is in physical danger , but he or she
doesn't want to seek any help, go ahead and tell an adult
you trust. If you think the person's at serious risk, tell him
or her you are going to go to an adult, and then do it.
Personal Rights in a Relationship
THE RIGHT to refuse requests without having to feel guilty or selfish.
THE RIGHT to express my feelings, including anger, as long as I don't violate
the rights of others.
THE RIGHT to be competitive and to achieve.
THE RIGHT to have my needs be as important as the needs of other people.
THE RIGHT to decide which activities will fulfill my needs.
THE RIGHT to make mistakes and be responsible for them.
THE RIGHT to have my opinions given the same respect and consideration as
others'.
THE RIGHT to change my mind.
THE RIGHT to be independent.
THE RIGHT to be treated respectfully.
THE RIGHT to be cooperative and giving and not be taken advantage of.
THE RIGHT to be safe.
What You Need to Remember
Any kind of
abuse it NOT
your fault.
You don’t
deserve being
treated this way.
You should
always be safe.
NO means NO