Transcript Conflict in Extension

Management Techniques
4-H 101: Return to the Basics
CES Staff Development Series
Tuesday, March 14, 2006, 9:30-11:30 a.m.
IP Video Presentation
by Steve McKinley
[email protected]; 765-494-8435
4-H 101 Series
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Effectively Utilizing Volunteers (10/4)
Starting and Maintaining 4-H Clubs (11/15)
Expanding 4-H Opportunities (12/13)
Characteristics of Positive Youth Development & Life Skill
Development (1/10)
4-H Purpose, History, and Structure (2/14)
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Conflict Management Techniques (3/14)
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Program Information…
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Disconnected? Contact the AgIT Help
Desk at 765-494-8333
Provide feedback to: Steve at 765-4948435, or [email protected]
Objectives:
1.
2.
3.
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6.
Describe characteristics of conflict.
Identify typical responses when needs are
violated.
Distinguish among three stages of conflict.
Define the five conflict handling modes
discussed in the Thomas-Kilman Instrument.
Review various conflict management
resources.
Demonstrate methods to effectively resolve
conflict situations.
What do you know about conflict?
Write “True” or “False” next to each statement below…
1.
2.
3.
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5.
6.
Conflict left alone will take care of itself.
Confronting an issue or a person is always unpleasant.
Conflict within an organization is a sign of poor
leadership.
It takes two people communicating effectively to
change the direction of a conflict.
Conflict can be constructive.
How we respond to others and situations is based on
the attitude we take.
What do you know about conflict?
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Anger is always negative and destructive.
Communication is 50% verbal and 50% nonverbal.
Conflict is resolved once the goal switches from solving
concrete problems to proving you are right and
another person is wrong.
Communication and emotion are two key elements of
any conflict.
Conflict is best dealt with in the early stages when the
fewest number of people are involved.
In times of conflict it is important to speak loudly and
with authority in order to make a point.
Objective 1
Describe characteristics of conflict.
Conflict…
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Occurs when cares/concerns appear to be
incompatible
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Internal Conflict:
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a disturbance that rages within a single
individual
Interpersonal Conflict:
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a disturbance that exists between 2 or more
individuals/groups
Conflict is….
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Something we face everyday.
A fact of life.
An opportunity to create an
understanding.
Often a result of miscommunication.
Not limited to fighting.
Not always negative!
Critical Elements of Conflict
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Communication
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Verbal communication
 7%
Non-verbal communication
 93%
Emotional Aspect
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Is this pushing a “hot button”?
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What is your level of commitment to this person?
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What else is happening in your life?
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On a scale of 1-10, how important is this?
Emotional Don’ts:
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Don’t
Don’t
Don’t
Don’t
Don’t
get in a power struggle.
detach from conflict.
let conflict establish your agenda.
over-dramatize the situation.
“awfulize”!!
Objective 2
Identify typical responses when
needs are violated.
Four Basic
Psychological Needs:
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To be valued and treated as an individual
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To be in control
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To have strong self-esteem
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To be consistent
When needs are violated,
individuals respond.
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Retaliate
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Momentary
Always a mistake
Intimidate
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Short tempers
Strong opinions
Hard on the long term relationship
When needs are violated,
individuals respond.
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Isolate
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Appear to accept the situation
They may actually be suppressing it
This is how small problems grow into huge
misunderstandings
Cooperate
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Confront the issue immediately
Address the problem by putting it on the table
Greatest long term benefit
Is this your wish for all of the
difficult people in your life?
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If so, you might not
be in a cooperative
spirit! 
Objective 3
Distinguish among three stages of
conflict.
3 Stages of Conflict
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Stage One: Everyday Difficulties
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Low intensity
Day-to-day irritations
Discomfort & anger are quickly passed off
“No big deal” attitude
Strategies:
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Avoidance
Obliging
Jointly examine both sides
Evaluate the proportion of the reaction to the situation
3 Stages of Conflict
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Stage Two: Significant Difficulties
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Win-lose attitude
More personal investment
Self interest & saving face is important
Victories/mistakes are remembered
Alliances & cliques are formed
Strategies:
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Create a safe environment - informal setting, neutral turf,
agenda, control, set tone, be vulnerable
Hard on facts and soft on people
Do initial work as a team
Look for middle ground
Allow enough time
Seat people next to each other
3 Stages of Conflict
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Stage Three: Overt Battles
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Shift from wanting to win to wanting to hurt
Being right and punishing the wrong is a consuming
motivation
Positions are polarized
Logic and reason are ineffective
Strategies:
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Negotiation - discussion & compromise
Mediation - third party serves as a go-between in
order to reconcile
Arbitration - determination of a case in controversy by
a person selected by the parties
Objective 4
Define the five conflict handling
modes discussed in the ThomasKilman Instrument.
What’s Your Conflict Management
Style?
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How do you react during a conflict...and how
do others react to you?
Thomas-Kilman Instrument (TKI) -Provides
information about an individual’s style of
handling conflict, compared to five distinct
modes.
ASSERTIVENESS (Trying to satisfy your own
concerns) vs. COOPERATIVENESS (Trying to
satisfy the other’s concerns)
Assertive
Graph of Conflict Handling Modes
Competing
Collaborating
Unassertive
Compromising
Avoiding
Uncooperative
Accommodating
Cooperative
TKI Conflict Handling Modes
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Competing: High assertiveness and low
cooperativeness —the goal is to “win”
 Occurs when you take a position that meets
your concerns but not the other person’s. A
win-lose mode.
TKI Conflict Handling Modes
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Accommodating: Low assertiveness and high
cooperativeness — the goal is to “yield”
 Occurs when you accept a position that meets
the other person’s concerns over yours. A winlose mode.
TKI Conflict Handling Modes
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Avoiding: Low assertiveness and low
cooperativeness — the goal is to “delay”
 Occurs when you try not to engage in a conflict
issue. It is a lose-lose mode.
TKI Conflict Handling Modes
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Compromising: Moderate assertiveness and
moderate cooperativeness — the goal is to
“find a middle ground"
 Settle for a position that partially satisfies
your concerns and those of the other
person. A win-lose mode.
TKI Conflict Handling Modes
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Collaborating: High assertiveness and high
cooperativeness — the goal is to “find a winwin solution”
 Occurs when you find a position that fully
satisfies your own and the other person’s
concerns. A win-win mode.
Uses of Each TKI Mode
Scenario: A parent has submitted a
somewhat controversial proposal to the 4H Council which has led to conflict
between the parent and the 4-H Youth
Development Extension Educator.
We’ll first look at a poor use and then a
more effective use of each mode.
Competing
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Poor use:
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Educator… “Look, I don’t care what you think or how unfair you
think this is! Rules are rules, and I’ve been hired to enforce
them with no exceptions! I’m right in this situation, and the
case is closed!”
Effective use:
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Educator… “I understand that this is an important issue for you.
However, as your proposal is currently stated, it does not fit in
the guidelines set by the 4-H Council. As Educator, it is my job
to enforce the rules that have been set no matter how unpopular
they may be. The Council has set the rules so that the 4-H
program is within federal and state guidelines. I am not asking
you to agree with my position, but I do hope that you will
respect it.”
Avoiding
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Poor use:
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Educator (has received a call from the secretary)… “No, I don’t
want to talk to him now. Tell him I’m not in. No…tell him I’m in
a meeting and can’t be disturbed. I don’t care what you tell
him…just get rid of him!”
Effective use:
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Educator… “Look, this is obviously an emotional issue for you. I
know that you have a lot invested in it. Why don’t we take
some time away from the issue right now and plan to talk again
tomorrow? How does 10 a.m. sound? In the mean time, I will
do some research on your issue to see if I can find additional
options for us to consider regarding your situation.”
Accommodating
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Poor use:
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Educator… “Hey…I understand this is important to you. So, even
though your proposal doesn’t fit within the 4-H Council’s
guidelines, I’ll overlook it this time and recommend it for
approval. You’re an important citizen in this county, and I don’t
want to damage our relationship in the future.”
Effective use:
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Educator… “I don’t want to seem unresponsive to your concerns
on this important issue. However, I don’t have authority to
overturn the Council’s decision. So, what I suggest is that I put
your issue on the agenda of the next 4-H Council meeting and
invite you to attend, to see if the Council has some additional
options for you to consider.”
Compromising
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Poor use:
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Educator… “You’ve heard the expression, ‘You scratch my back,
and I’ll scratch yours’? I bet we can come to some agreement
here. You’ve got season tickets to the basketball games this
year, right? How ‘bout you letting me have tickets for a couple
of games, and I’ll see if I can’t get this proposal to slip right
through the 4-H Council? They have so many issues to deal
with, they won’t even know!”
Effective use:
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Educator… “The 4-H Council has set some pretty tight guidelines
for me to follow. However, they understand that there are times
that some allowances may need to be made. If you would agree
to a revision here in Part A of your proposal to be in line with the
Council’s guidelines, I believe that they would be willing to
consent to your request in Part B. Would you consider that
revision?”
Collaborating
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Poor use:
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Educator… “O.K., we have an obvious difference of opinion here.
I’m not willing to take the responsibility by myself, so let’s call
together a series of meetings with the 4-H Council, their subcommittees, my CED, some 4-H Leaders, parents, and members.
We’ll see if we can’t research this issue in depth, discuss it
extensively, and come up with a solution in which all parties are
in agreement. I’m guessing this process will only take about 6-8
months. That’s not too long of a wait for you, is it?”
Effective use:
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Educator… “Since this is such an important issue both to you and
the 4-H Council, I suggest that we sit down at a special meeting
of the Council to try to better understand each others’ concerns.
We don’t want this issue to be unresolved too long, because
there are a lot of resources involved here, but I do think it is
important to try to reach a mutual decision that we can all agree
upon. Let’s plan for a one-hour meeting with the Council next
week, O.K.?”
What is the Best Way to Handle
Conflict???
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No silver bullet or magic formula.
Key is knowing when to use each strategy,
and not to let the situation get out of
control
Remember…Negative Behavior never
confronted, never changes!!!!!
Objective 5
Review various conflict
management resources.
Conflict Management Resources
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“Conflict Management”
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i-LEaD, Betty A. Krejci, Purdue University
Cooperative Extension
“Conflict in Extension…It happens!”
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2002 NELD Class - Maryann Dickason, Natalie
Fowler, Kris Goff, Mike Manning, Steve
McKinley, Diane Roell-Paris
Conflict Management Resources
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Thomas, K.W. & Kilman, R.H. ThomasKilman Conflict Mode Instrument,
www.cpp.com
Thomas, K.W. Introduction to Conflict
Management, Improving Performance
Using the TKI, www.cpp.com
Conflict Management Resources
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A Model for Managing Controversial Issues
for County Fairs (and other sticky
situations), University of Minnesota
Extension,
http://www.fourh.umn.edu/resources/App
eals_Process.pdf
Objective 6
Demonstrate methods to
effectively resolve conflict
situations.
Conflict Management
Scenarios
Scenario #1
The President of the board to which you
are an advisor works hard at each
meeting to make everyone feel welcome.
But, when it comes to encouraging
committees to work and the members to
complete their assignments, nothing
positive seems to happen. As advisor
you have been asked by some of the
board members to resolve this situation.
Scenario #2
It is county fair week. The 4-H Fashion Revue
judging results have been announced earlier in
the evening. A parent is heading toward you,
the Extension Educator, and she doesn’t look
happy. As she approaches you, she proceeds
to tell you how her daughter was cheated out
of a chance to compete at the State Fair. Your
job is to resolve this situation.
Scenario #3
May 15th is the deadline to submit all 4-H
Livestock Enrollment forms in your county 4-H
program. As 4-H/Youth Extension Educator,
you have taken steps to inform your members
throughout the year of this important deadline.
On May 16th a 4-H parent comes to your office
with forms in hand ready to submit them. You
explain the deadline to this parent who
immediately becomes irate and demands you
accept these forms!
Scenario #4
A 4-H family has been away and did not get
the message (left on their answering machine)
that the 4-H Club Family Fun Night was
changed to Tuesday night. The family shows
up on Wednesday night (the original date
printed in the club calendar) at the advisor’s
home ready for the program. The family is
very unhappy and calls you, the Extension
Educator, the next day to share their concerns.
Scenario #5
During a 4-H Club meeting two young ladies,
who have always been good friends in the
past, become caught up in a discussion on
who would be this year’s 4-H Fair Queen.
Instead of supporting each other, each starts
to tell others how much they have given to the
program and why they should be Queen. The
conversation has gotten out of hand. As
advisor you need to help the officers regain
control.
Tips to Handling Conflicts
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Keep program policies with you
Listen and ask clarifying questions
Write notes and keep record of
conversations
Consider various options
Tips to Handling Conflicts
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Learn from the conflict
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What did you do well?
What would you like to improve the next
time?
What changes (if any) need to be made as a
result of this issue?
Real-life examples and tips???
Conflict Quiz Review
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False
False
False
False
True
True
7.
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11.
12.
False
False
False
True
True
False
Questions?
…for your participation
throughout the 4-H 101 Series!
An evaluation of the series will be
coming shortly via e-mail. Thank you in
advance for your feedback.