Transcript CHAPTER 10: INTIMACY - Welcome! | St. Edwards University

Intimacy
Chapter 10
1
What do we mean by
intimacy?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgx
xAwue7Fs
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Intimacy as an Adolescent
Issue

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Not until adolescence do truly intimate
relationships first emerge
Characteristics of true intimacy
openness, honesty, self-disclosure,
and trust
Intimacy becomes an important
concern due to changes of puberty,
cognitive changes, and social changes
3
Theoretical Perspectives
on Adolescent Intimacy
Sullivan’s Developmental progression of
needs:
– need for contact and for tenderness
– need for adult participation
– need for peers and peer acceptance
– Need for intimacy
– Need for sexual contact and intimacy with
opposite-sex peer
– Need for integration into adult society
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Development of Intimacy in
Adolescence
Changes in the Nature of
Friendship
 Companionship appears
before adolescence
 Intimacy emerges later
 Early adolescence
– Self-disclosure and trust
emerge as dimensions of
friendship
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Development of Intimacy in
Adolescence
Changes in the Nature of Friendship
 Conflicts that adolescents have with
friends
– Older adolescents typically have conflicts
over private matters
– Younger adolescents typically have
conflicts over public disrespect
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The Development of Intimacy
in Adolescence
Changes in the Display of Intimacy
(1) Adolescents become more knowledgeable about
their friends
(2) Adolescents become more responsive to close
friends and less controlling
(3) Friends become more interpersonally sensitive
and show more empathy
(4) Friends resolve conflicts more frequently by
negotiation or disengagement, not coercion
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The Development of
Intimacy
in Adolescence
Sex Differences in Intimacy
 Girls’ relationships are
more intimate than boys’
across many different
indicators
– Girls disclose more to their
friends
– Girls are more sensitive
and empathic to friends
– Girls are more concerned
about trust and loyalty
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The Development of Intimacy
in Adolescence
Changes in the “Targets” of Intimacy
 Different types of intimate relationships
with parents and peers
 Parent-adolescent relationships
– Imbalance of power, teens receive advice

Adolescent peer relationships
– Mutual, balanced, equal exchanges
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The Development of
Intimacy
in Adolescence
Friendships with the Other
Sex
 Little is known about the
nature or significance or
nonromantic relationships
with opposite-sex peers
 Boys may profit more
from these relationships
than do girls
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Dating and Romantic
Relationships
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Class Activity

Recall your first date…
– How old were you?
– How did you approach the boy/girl you liked?
– Where did you go?
– Alone or in a group?
– How did it go?

Letting your child date…
– At what age would you allow?
– Any rules or limitations?
Dating and Romantic
Relationships
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High school dating no longer has the
function of mate selection
Romantic relationships are very
common, in the past 18 months
– 25% of 12-years-olds reported having
one
– 50% of 15-year-olds reported having one
– 70% of 18-year-olds reported having one
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Dating and Romantic
Relationships
The Development of Dating Relationships
 Dating serves many purposes, besides
developing intimacy
– Establishing emotional and behavioral
autonomy from parents
– Furthering development of gender identity
– Learning about oneself as a romantic
partner
– Establishing/maintaining status and
popularity in peer group
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Dating and Romantic
Relationships
The Development of Dating Relationships
 Four Phases of Adolescent Romance
(1) Infatuation
(2) Status
(3) Intimate
(4) Bonding

May not apply to sexual-minority youth,
those who are not exclusively heterosexual
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Dating and Romantic
Relationships
Impact of Dating on Adolescent Development
 Early and intensive dating before age 15
– Stunting effect on psychosocial development
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Adolescent girls who do not date at all
– Retarded social development, excessive
dependency on parents, feelings of insecurity
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Moderate degree of dating
– Potentially most valuable pattern
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Intimacy and Adolescent
Psychosocial Development
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Negative effects can occur as well
– Frequent conversations about personal
problems
 can lead to too much introspection and
self-consciousness
– “Corumination” between friends
 can make each of the friends
depressed
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Intimacy and Adolescent
Psychosocial Development
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Individuals with satisfying close
friendships
– do better than those without them, in
adolescence and in adulthood
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Psychologically healthy adolescents
are better able
– to make and maintain close relationships
with others
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