CHAPTER 10: INTIMACY - St. Edwards University Sites
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Transcript CHAPTER 10: INTIMACY - St. Edwards University Sites
Intimacy
Chapter 10
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What do we mean by intimacy?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgxxA
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Intimacy as an Adolescent Issue
Not until adolescence do truly intimate relationships
first emerge
Characteristics of true intimacy
openness, honesty, self-disclosure, and trust
Intimacy becomes an important concern due to
changes of
puberty
cognitive changes
social changes
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Theoretical Perspectives
Sullivan’s Developmental progression of needs:
need for contact and for tenderness
need for adult participation
need for peers and peer acceptance
Preadolescence
Need for intimacy
Adolescence
Need for sexual contact and intimacy with opposite-sex peer
Need for integration into adult society
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Theoretical Perspectives
Erikson’s View of Intimacy
Crisis: Intimacy vs. Isolation
In a truly intimate relationship, two
individuals’ identities fuse
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Development of Intimacy in Adolescence
Changes in the Nature of Friendship
As we get older, friendship type
changes
Companionship appears before
adolescence
Intimacy emerges later
Early adolescence
Self-disclosure and trust
emerge as dimensions of
friendship
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Development of Intimacy in Adolescence
Changes in the Nature of Friendship
Conflicts that adolescents have with friends
Older adolescents typically have conflicts over private
matters
Younger adolescents typically have conflicts over public
disrespect
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Development of Intimacy in Adolescence
Changes in the Display of Intimacy
(1) Adolescents become more knowledgeable about their
friends
(2) Adolescents become more responsive to close friends
and less controlling
(3) Friends become more interpersonally sensitive and show
more empathy
(4) Friends resolve conflicts more frequently by negotiation
or disengagement, not coercion
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Development of Intimacy in Adolescence
Sex Differences in Intimacy
Girls’ relationships are
more intimate than
boys’ across many
different indicators
Girls disclose more to
their friends
Girls are more sensitive
and empathic to friends
Girls are more concerned
about trust and loyalty
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Development of Intimacy in Adolescence
Changes in the “Targets” of
Intimacy
Sullivan hypothesized that
intimacy with peers replaces
intimacy with parents
Intimacy with peers of the
opposite sex replaces intimacy
with same-sex friends
Actually new targets of
intimacy are added to old ones
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Development of Intimacy in Adolescence
Changes in the “Targets” of Intimacy
Different types of intimate relationships with parents and
peers
Parent-adolescent relationships
Imbalance of power, teens receive advice
Adolescent peer relationships
Mutual, balanced, equal exchanges
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Development of Intimacy in Adolescence
Friendships with the Other Sex
Little is known about the nature or
significance or nonromantic
relationships with opposite-sex
peers
Boys may profit more from these
relationships than do girls
Dating and Romantic Relationships
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Class Activity
Recall your first date…
How old were you?
How did you approach the
boy/girl you liked?
Where did you go?
Alone or in a group?
How did it go?
Letting your child date…
At what age would you allow?
Any rules or limitations?
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Dating and Romantic Relationships
High school dating no longer has the function of mate
selection
Romantic relationships are very common, in the past 18
months
25% of 12-years-olds reported having one
50% of 15-year-olds reported having one
70% of 18-year-olds reported having one
But! Good news…
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Dating and Romantic Relationships
The Development of Dating Relationships
Dating serves many purposes, besides developing intimacy
Establishing emotional and behavioral autonomy from
parents
Furthering development of gender identity
Learning about oneself as a romantic partner
Establishing/maintaining status and popularity in peer
group
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Dating and Romantic Relationships
The Development of Dating Relationships
Four Phases of Adolescent
Romance
Infatuation
Status
Intimate
Bonding
May not apply to sexualminority youth, those who are
not exclusively heterosexual
"If you're a bird I'm a bird"
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Dating and Romantic Relationships
Impact of Dating on Adolescent Development
Early and intensive dating before age 15
Adolescent girls who do not date at all
Stunting effect on psychosocial development
Retarded social development, excessive dependency on
parents, feelings of insecurity
Moderate degree of dating
Potentially most valuable pattern
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Intimacy and Adolescent
Psychosocial Development
Individuals with satisfying close friendships
do better than those without them, in adolescence and
in adulthood
Psychologically healthy adolescents are better able
to make and maintain close relationships with others
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Intimacy and Adolescent
Psychosocial Development
Negative effects can occur as well
Frequent conversations about personal problems
can lead to too much introspection
and self-consciousness
“Corumination” between friends
can make each of the friends
depressed