Transcript Shaping Behavior with Young Children

Shaping Behavior with
Young Children
ECC Informational Night: 11/7/13
Presented By: Katie Colianne,
Jean Houston and Lisa Murphy
Question for Parents
What does your child do to get your
attention?
Parents…
• The most powerful tool you possess is
that your child utterly adores you!
• Your child NEEDS your attention more
than anything else- and he or she will
fight HARD to get it!
Guiding Behavior of Your Child
• Involves establishing mutual respect and
expecting cooperation.
• Through effective discipline:
– Children can learn to make positive choices
– Learn problem solving skills
– Learn values of respect and responsibility
Strategies for Guiding Behavior
Always focus on the behavior
Have a clear set of rules and routines
Be consistent
Structure the environment to support
appropriate behavior
• Allow children to make acceptable choices
• Concentrate on shaping positive behavior
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What is “Shaping?”
• Shaping:
– A great way to help kids learn new behaviors.
– It is a step-by-step process.
– Provides your child with cues and
reinforcements that direct him or her towards
a desirable behavior.
– Instead of expecting your child to master a
new behavior all at once, shaping your child’s
behavior means you are reinforcing each small
step toward the bigger goal.
Question for Parents…
• Your child is throwing toys at a wall.
You want your child to play
appropriately with his toys!
What would you do?
9 Techniques to Shape
Children’s Behavior
• Besides using natural consequences to teach
you can set up “parent made” consequences.
• Examples: A child kept slamming her door,
parent gave many warnings and explained
that if this behavior continues she will not
longer the privacy of a door. The parent finally
took the door off as the consequence when
the behavior did not stop.
3 steps to help support the
problem
1. Identify the Problem: What is your child
doing that you don’t like?
2. Catch Good Behavior: Watch him ‘like a
hawk’ to catch good behavior (the way you
want him to be acting)
3. Releasing the Power of your Attention:
Stop what you are doing, go over to the
child and give him your attention (e.g. play
with him, talk with him about what he is
doing)
Solution using the ‘3 steps’
1. Identify the Problem: Your child is
throwing toys.
2. Catching Good Behavior: Catch him
when he is playing quietly with toys,
keeping toys on the ground.
3. Releasing the Power of your Attention:
Stop what you are doing, go sit next to
him, play with the toys, show interest
in what the child is doing.
9 Techniques to Shape
Children’s Behavior
1. Praise
• If you want to see a behavior continue,
praise the behavior, not the child.
– For example: “I like the way you are cleaning
your room” instead of “good girl or good boy.”
– Change the delivery of your praise.
Examples: “I like the way you put the toys in
the bucket,” “What a great job you are doing
cleaning your room.” “Your room looks so neat!”
“That was a great choice to put the clothes in
the dirty hamper!”
9 Techniques to Shape
Children’s Behavior
2. Selective Ignoring
• If you do not like the behavior and it is
not dangerous or intolerable, ignore it!
• Examples: Your child is not ‘sitting’ at
the dinner table, but he or she is
‘standing’ but still eating and
participating in conversation. What
other behaviors can you ignore?
9 Techniques to Shape
Children’s Behavior
3. Help your child learn that choices have
consequences.
• These lessons come from real life and children
learn self discipline. Children must experience the
consequences of their actions in order to learn
from them. Talk through each situation and your
child will learn that he is happier and life runs more
smoothly when he makes wise decisions.
• Examples: Expect your preschooler to clean up his
messes, let your child explore, fail, bump and learn.
If your child leaves his bike in the driveway it may
get stolen and that’s the choice he chose.
9 Techniques to Shape
Children’s Behavior
4. Motivators and Rewards
Discussion Q: What motivates your child?
Behavior that is rewarding continues, behavior that is
unrewarding stops. You can use prizes, sticker charts,
ticket system. Involve your child in choosing the reward.
Prizes: simple, inexpensive, fun
Sticker Charts: child has to get so many
‘stickers’ in order to receive the reward
Tickets: child gets a reward after accumulating so
many tickets.
9 Techniques to Shape
Children’s Behavior
Examples of Rewards: “First child in bed picks
the story to read!” “You took care of your trains,
let’s go buy a new one!” “If you tasted your
peas, you can get a sticker on your chart!”
9 Techniques to Shape
Children’s Behavior
5. Reminders
• Children need reminders to keep their
behavior on track
• Reminders are less likely to provoke a
refusal then outright commands
• Reminders prompt the child to complete
the behavior
– You give the clue and the child fills in the
blanks
• Example: “Oh where does that plate belong?” (when
putting dishes in the sink)
9 Techniques to Shape
Children’s Behavior
6. Negotiating
• It does not compromise your authority, it strengthens it.
• Children are more likely to respect parents who are willing to listen to
them.
• It’s a win-win situation
Example:
Child: “Why do I have to eat Cheerios for breakfast?”
Parent: “Well, what do you want to eat?”
Child: “Gummy Bears”
Parent: “That is a not a healthy choice. Why don’t you choose between
Cheerios and Oatmeal with fruit?”
Child: “Ok… Oatmeal with strawberries.”
Parent: “Perfect choice.”
(Compromise Reached)
*FYI: If your child starts acting disrespectful end the
conversation/compromise.
9 Techniques to Shape
Children’s Behavior
7. Withdrawing Privileges
• Child must connect the withdrawal with
the behavior
– If your child rides his bike in the street,
he loses the bike.
– If your child misses her carpool or bus, she
walks to school.
9 Techniques to Shape
Children’s Behavior
8. No Nattering
• Persistent negative comments that nip
away at a child’s self-worth.
• Makes kids nervous and produces more
negative behavior.
• It’s better to pick out redeeming
qualities and concentrate on the positive
– Examples: “I liked the way you moved over
for your sister on the couch.”
9 Techniques to Shape
Children’s Behavior
9. Holding a Family Meeting
• Good times to set house rules
• Meetings foster family communication
• You are relaxed and the children are
receptive
• Ask for children’s input
– Examples: Get suggestions from the
children about how to keep their rooms
clean.
Words of Wisdom
You can turn a great behavior shaping
moment into a negative interaction by
implying that your child is doing something
that YOU want him or her to do.
• Avoid statements like, “See I told you
so!” and “If you be nice to people like
that all the time they will be nice to
you!”
Summary
Effective parenting that we discussed
include:
• Developing and clarifying clear
expectations
• Staying calm when your child gets upset
• Follow through with positive and negative
consequences
• Be consistent
• Being a positive role model
• Praising your child for his/her behavior
Conclusion
Parenting is the most important job that
you will ever have. It requires dedication,
attention, love. It is very time consuming
but in the end, it is the most rewarding
job!
Bibliography
"Behavior Therapy: The Specifics of Parent Training." HealthyChildren.org. N.p., n.d.
Web. 30 Oct. 2013.
Cahill, Angela. "Shaping Behavior." The Doctor Mommy. N.p., n.d. Web. 30 Oct. 2013.
Lopez, William. "Successful Parenting Skills That Shape Children's Behaviors." AllPsych
(2004): n. pag. Web. 30 Oct. 2013.
<http://http://allpsych.com/journal/parentingskills.html>.
Morin, Amy. "Shaping Behavior One Step at a Time." About.com Discipline. N.p., n.d.
Web. 30 Oct. 2013.
Peggy, Harrelson O. "Skip Menu." Guiding the Behavior of Young Children. Virginia
Tech University, n.d. Web. 30 Oct. 2013.
Sears, William. "10 Techniques to Shape Children’s Behavior." Ask Dr Sears The Trusted
Resource for Parents. N.p., 20 May 2011. Web. 30 Oct. 2013.