Transcript Dr. Boatman's presentation from 10/21 on "Intensity and Sensitivity of the Gifted Child"

Teresa Argo Boatman
For GRASP – Oct 21, 2013
Living with Intensity, Daniels and Piechowski
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Overexcitabilities
◦ An intense interaction with the world in five
different areas – Psychomotor, Intellectual, Sensual,
Imaginational, Emotional
◦ Impact intake of information from the world and
what is given back to differing situations
◦ Organic surplus of energy
◦ Augmented capacity for being active and
energetic, love of movement
◦ Heightened excitability of the neuromuscular
system, expressed as movement
◦ Restlessness and nervous habits (tics, nail biting)
◦ Compulsive talking and chattering
◦ Pressure for action
◦ Rapid speech
◦ Allow for movement during activities, dinner, family
time
◦ Movement can be really important for many kids
during homework time – exercise balls, pacing
◦ Development of space in house that works to
‘stretch out the kinks’
◦ Do not remove recess for any reason – work with
teacher
◦ Encourage exercise at home before coming to
school for the day
◦ Fidgets and chewing allowed
◦ What is your tolerance for movement in your house?
◦ Avid search for truth and knowledge
◦ Discovery, questioning, and always asking probing
questions
◦ Love of ideas and theoretical analysis, moral
thinking, intuitive integration of ideas
◦ Capacity for sustained intellectual effort
◦ Intense concentration and curiosity
◦ Highly introspective
◦ Some opportunity for extended work time on
independent projects each week – allow for diving
deep
◦ Warning system of transitions from activity to
activity – touch may need to be part of it
◦ Understanding of absentminded professor
syndrome
◦ System for communicating “deep questions” that
can be used so does not disrupt your needs for
sleep, new activity, etc.
◦ Heightened sensory pleasure and over
responsiveness: Seeing, Smelling, Tasting,
Touching, Hearing
◦ Enhanced aliveness of sensual experiences
◦ Expression of emotional tension through:
overeating, sensory seeking, wanting to be in
limelight
◦ Aesthetic pleasures
◦ Lighting addressed in room and spaces
◦ Sound issues identified and addressed as necessary
– allow child to use earplugs during work time or
dampen sounds for maximum work efficiency
◦ Provide teachers information about OE so they can
understand food and clothing issues, heightened
responsiveness
◦ Work on personal space and boundary issues as
necessary
◦ Look at reactivity to situations for the possible
sensory stimulus
◦ Find activities that can “be on stage”
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Frequent use of image and metaphor
Vividness of imagery and richness of association
Liking for the unusual
Facility for dreams, fantasies, and inventions
Mixing truth and fiction due to fantasy life
Spontaneous imagery and expression
Detailed visual recall
◦ Be prepared for anxiety response to those
situations which can be imagined to be scary
◦ Be sensitive to movies which depict evil
◦ Alternate indoor recess option if a movie is shown
in your school
◦ Feed Imagination through art, poetry, and
opportunity for fictional work through assignments
◦ Defining difference between real and imaginary
world
◦ Help them see the worst, best and most likely in
those imaginary/scary situations
◦ Intensity of emotional life, intense positive and
negative feelings
◦ Somatic expression of emotions (tense stomach,
blushing, pounding heart)
◦ Strong emotional ties and attachments
◦ Compassion and empathy for others feelings
◦ Heightened sense of responsibility
◦ Scrupulous self-examination and self-judgment
◦ Fears and anxieties / Feelings of guilt
◦ Prepare teacher for emotional responsiveness of
your child
◦ Environment which supports sensitivity rather than
makes it a negative (especially highly sensitive
boys)
◦ Opportunity for children to communicate emotional
intensity without your need to solve the problem
◦ Teach and use stress management techniques
◦ Teach ways to step out of emotionally charged
situations
◦ Allow for relaxation time during the day
◦ Distinguish between excellence and perfection
within your child’s work
◦ Reward work effort rather than outcome as much as
possible
◦ Teach choices of 100% and 90% goals and what
leads to 50% outcomes
◦ Help child understand the difference between what
they see in their head as a possible outcome and
what their body and time can actually do
◦ Teach them to be comfortable with starting
(writing, new projects, new sports) without a clear
path to follow
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What to do when Good Enough isn’t Good
Enough
Moving Past Perfect
◦ Work toward the gray in ideas, concepts, and rules
◦ Distinguish tattling from telling
◦ Discussion on absolute truth – where do we find
something that is absolutely true
◦ Identify needs of others – Do people need to know
when they have made a mistake and are wrong?
◦ How do we correct others gently and with respect
◦ Smartyrdom – The ability to let someone else win an
argument even when you know you're correct
◦ Acceptance of intensity of others within the their
friendship sphere
◦ Acceptance of one or two friends as adequate and
reasonable
◦ Identification of different friends for different
reasons
◦ Find at least one other kid who thinks your kid is
awesome
◦ Look toward interests and maybe classes in
strength area
◦ Gifted students may define fun in a wide variety of
ways – political debates not uncommon,
competitiveness can be difficult to control, idea
development is particularly fun
◦ Encourage students to take risks in areas of fun –
sometimes anxiety gets in the way of trying new
things
◦ Encourage trying other areas even if not highly
skilled
◦ Introverted perfectionists probably gravitate toward
individual sports
◦ Gifted children have not always been in situation
where their perception is that they are accepted or
connected or their particular skills are valued
◦ May feel the need to “sell” others on their skill sets
and what they know because they feel like an
imposter in the group
◦ Reassure acceptance of strengths and weaknesses
and that different types of skills and strengths are
the norm
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Parenting is not for wimps
Look at this whole process as a marathon, not
a sprint
Control your own intensity and anxiety as
much as possible
Allow for failure and sometimes set your child
up for those frustration experiences
Don’t let the “gifted” get in the way of the
“child”
Remember, there are many do overs in
parenting and life