Transcript Some Points on American Culture Dr. M. Connor

Some Points on American
Culture
Dr. M. Connor
How is America seen?
 “America is a large, friendly dog in a very
small room. Every time it wags its tail, it
knocks over a chair.” Arnold Toynbee
 “America is a mistake, a giant
mistake!” Sigmund Freud
National characteristics
 Probably the most common trait Americans
share is a belief in the power of dreaming and
then doing.
 It’s no wonder that Martin Luther King, Jr’s ”I
Have a Dream” speech is still quoted and
cited, even in non-racial situations.
 Overall, this makes the US a country of
optimists.
Visualization
 Kids are told early on that
they need to have a dream,
a goal.
 If they work at it, they can
achieve it.
 Is this true? No, but it’s truer
in America than in many
other places.
 Take me, for example. I’m
the daughter of a high school
drop-out, a construction
worker who died when I was
12. I’m the first Connor to
graduate college. Now I’m a
PhD.
The big secret in life is that
there is no big secret. Whatever
your goal, you can get there if
you're willing to work.
- Oprah Winfrey
Hard work
 Many American idioms and proverbs reflect
the need to work hard.
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Strike while the iron is hot (move/act quickly)
Actions speak louder than words.
God helps those who help themselves.
If at first you don’t suceed, try, try again.
Make hay while the sun shines (work hard
when the opportunity is there)
Nothing suceeds like sucess.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Self-reliance
 Americans can achieve, but they do it themselves.
 This doesn’t mean alone, but they don’t rely on the
government to help them or family connections (both
do help in reality, but again, not as often as in many
other countries).
 If you want to look at the cultural basis of this, see the
American philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson’s essay
”Self Reliance” (1841) at
http://bellsouthpwp.net/k/e/kerjsmit/self_reliance/self_
rel.htm
Individualism
 Americans are taught that the individual is
important.
 BUT, your rights only extend to the tip of your
nose.
 In other words, you can’t infringe upon the
rights of others.
 And the group is never excluded in
calculations, because in groups, we build
strength.
American Friendliness
 Much is made of how friendly Americans are.
 This stems from the belief that ”all men are
created equal”.
 This is the theory.
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Of course, there is a difference between the
theory and the reality, but one difference I find
between America and other places is that
Americans readily admit there’s a problem
with things like racism and sexism and many
people try to find solutions.
Friendly ≠ Friend
 Some foreigners view Americans as
hypocritical because friendliness does not
translate to friendship.
 For Americans, friendliness is considered
common good manners, the oil that keeps
society from squeaking.
Need for ”social oil”
 In a country of 250
million plus, we’re
crowded!
 Just like Taiwan, we
need to have
conventions that keep
things ”civilized”.
Layers of friendship
 As in Taiwanese relationships, Americans
have layers of friendship.
 What follows are some examples.
Acquaintance
 Someone we know to chat with.
 Examples may be someone who works in the
same place but in a different department, or
the relative of a friend with whom we may
occasionally socialize.
 Neighbors can fall into this category.
Work Friend/School Friend
 Someone with whom we work or go to school,
and with whom we socialize through work or
class, but communication is not very intimate.
 These may be the people we eat lunch with
and sometimes we do things together after
work or class—sports teams are popular or
perhaps just going out for a Friday night
drink.
Close/Good Friend
 These are people with whom we are more
intimate.
 There are shared confidences.
 How people move from acquaintance or work
or school friend to close friend is almost like
alchemy. It moves in phases.
 Most Americans distrust instant intimacy,
though, and believe that relationships can not
be forced.
Best Friends
 Most Americans have a very small circle of
”best friends” who are considered ”family”
and enjoy all the privileges and all the
responsibilities of that position.
 There’s a joke among American women that
you can tell the level of intimacy you have
with someone based on the amount of
housecleaning you do before he or she
comes to visit!
More on friendliness
 ”Americans are friendly and casual with
strangers and new acquaintances; they
readily welcome and are willing to help
newcomers. This does not mean an
automatic commitment to friendship. In the
U.S., people enjoy doing things together and
exchanging ideas that may lead to
friendship.”

Ohio State University’s page for incoming
foreign students.
Appropriate questions
 One way to start conversation with strangers in
America is through questions.
 It’s perfectly okay to ask if someone is married or if
they have children (in social settings), but it is not
considered polite to ask why or why not.
 Good conversational gambits are travel, someone’s
work, books or film.
 Current events are okay, but some Americans are
raised that it’s bad manners to discuss politics or
religion as these topics can lead to disagreements.
Manners
 Compared to many countries, America has a
very informal style with few taboos.
 In America, there’s something called ”The
Golden Rule” (based on Christian precepts):
Do unto others as you would have others do
unto you.
 In other words, treat people as you’d like to
be treated. If you follow this, you usually
can’t go far wrong.
What’s in a name?
 Most Americans will invite you to call them by
their first name, especially your peers and
younger folks.
 BUT, most Americans appreciate the
opportunity of granting that familiarity. Until
told otherwise, it’s always good manners to
call someone by their honorific and surname:
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Dr. Connor
Ms. Jones
Mr. Smith
Children
 Children are always addressed by their first names.
 If you are not comfortable being called by your first
name by a child, it’s okay to say so.
 Many Americans are now falling into the practice of
allowing children to call adults by their first names,
but almost all Americans will respect your wishes in
the matter.
 Sometimes with their parents’ close friends, children
will use the honorifics ”aunt” and ”uncle” even though
there is no blood relationship.
Time is not relative!
 A very famous American adage is ”Time is
Money!”
 It’s not to be wasted. It’s to be saved and
used wisely.
 For the most part, Americans are prompt
people and don’t like to be kept waiting.
 In a business setting, this means not
”wasting” a lot of time on idle ”chit chat,”
something at odds with Taiwanese norms.
Problem alert
 When I lived and taught
in Taiwan, this was
often a problem.
 Studies have shown
that New Yorkers are
some of the most timeconscious people in
America!
Sources
 Aiken, Jennifer. “Interpersonal
Communication.” Communication differences
in the same culture group
 http://www.intractableconflict.org/m/interperso
nal_communication.jsp
From Aiken
 “Men and women, in particular, are thought to have
different styles. Linguist Deborah Tannen notes that,
for women, "talk creates intimacy... [b]ut men live in a
hierarchical world, where talk maintains
independence and status."[1] Her research has also
shown that, when speaking, women tend to face
each other and look each other in the eye, while men
prefer to sit at angles and look elsewhere in the
room. Women also express more agreement and
sympathy with one another's problems, while men
will dismiss each other's problems. Both sets of
responses are meant to reassure, but do not have
that effect when used with the opposite gender. For
example, women often become angry if a man
dismisses their problem.”
Sources
 New International Student Orientation:
Understanding Americans,Utah State
University

http://www.usu.edu/iss/undameri.html
 Gene Griessman, The Americans: Who Are
They, And How Did They Get This Way?

http://www.achievementdigest.com/articleamericans-achievement.html