Transcript Social Connections  Relationships are at the heart of human experience  Family  Community  Classmates, teammates, colleagues  Acquaintances, friends, sexual partners 

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Social Connections
 Relationships are at the heart of human experience
 Family
 Community
 Classmates, teammates, colleagues
 Acquaintances, friends, sexual partners
 Relationships are fraught with difficulties
 Divorce
 Single-parent and blended families
 Living alone
 “Hooking up”
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 Relationships begin with who you are as an
individual and what you bring to the relationship
 Examples of important attributes are:
 A reasonably high self-esteem
 A capacity for empathy
 The ability both to be alone and to be with others
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 Friendship is a reciprocal relationship based on
mutual liking and caring, respect and trust, interest
and companionship
 Considered longer-lasting and more stable compared
to romantic relationships
 Offers a psychological and emotional buffer against
stress, anxiety, and depression
 Networks that provide social support also increase
one’s sense of self-worth
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 Independence and maturity
 Self-esteem and mutual respect
 Good communication
 Open expression of sexual affection and respect
 Enjoy spending time together in leisure activities
 Acknowledge strengths and failings
 Assertive and flexible in wants and needs
 Handle conflict constructively
 Friends as well as lovers; unselfish caring
 Good family and friend relationships
 Shared spiritual values
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© 2009 McGraw-Hill Higher Education. All rights reserved.
 People seem to use a systematic screening process
when deciding if someone could be a potential
partner
 Factors that promote attraction are:
 Proximity or familiarity
 Physical attractiveness
 Similar characteristics, including values and attitudes
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 Indirectness is not an effective strategy
 People who are straightforward and respectful in
developing a relationship are more likely to get a
positive response
 Partners are often found through social connections
 The Internet is playing a larger role
 Geography a less significant factor
 Online social networking
 Importance of caution: How much do you really know
about the person?
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 Take things slowly; reveal information about yourself gradually.
 Do not feel the need to become physically involved right away;
become friends first.
 Get to know the person’s
friends and family
members if you can.
 Keep in mind that traits
you dislike in the
beginning will probably
bother you more as time
goes by.
 Be honest about who
you are.
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© Stockbyte/Picture Quest
Sternberg’s triangular theory of love.
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 Nonverbal communication includes facial
expressions, eye contact, gestures, body position
and movement, and spatial behavior
 Nonverbal and verbal communication cues make up
the metamessage, or the unspoken message you
send or get when communicating
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Communication
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 When you speak, know your feelings, motives, and
intentions
 Use “I” statements
 “I feel…when you…” vs. “You make me feel…”
 As a listener, give the other person time and space
 Good communication skills help make conflict
constructive
 Assertiveness: speaking up for yourself without
violating someone else’s rights
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 Cohesion: the dynamic balance between
separateness and togetherness in both
couple and family relationships
 Relationships are strongest when there is
a balance between intimacy and
autonomy
 Flexibility: the dynamic balance between
stability and change
 Communication is the tool that partners
and families use to adjust levels of
cohesion or flexibility when change is
needed
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 Community: group of people connected in a way that
transcends casual attachment
 Typically, shared common goals and sense of
belonging
 Being active in a community is likely to have a
positive impact on health
 Positive relationships within a community are
essential to personal health and growth
 Improve self-esteem
 Improve social capital: sharing and exchanging of
resources
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 Fulfilling community participation requires an
understanding of your values, what gives
your life meaning, and what you want to
accomplish
 Value system: set of guidelines for how you
want to live your life
 Values underlie moral principles and behavior
 Meaning in life comes from using one’s
strengths to serve a larger end
 When you identify and pursue personal
goals, you take responsibility for yourself and
your life
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 Religious and spiritual communities
 Spirituality: experience of connection to self,
others, and larger community, providing sense
of purpose and meaning
 Spiritually connected people stay healthier
and live longer
 Spiritual connectedness is associated with
high levels of health-related quality of life
 Social activism and the global community
 Social causes can unite people from diverse
backgrounds for a common good
 Peace Corps; Habitat for Humanity;
Greenpeace; Earth Charter Initiative; others?
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 Volunteering
 People who give time, money, support to others are likely to
be more satisfied with their lives
 One-on-one contact and direct involvement are key to
positive effects
 Service learning
 Meant to teach how to take the risk of getting involved in
the lives of others
 The arts
 Embracing diverse cultures past and present; expressing
inner thoughts and feelings
 Internet communities
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