Transcript Making Decisions-A Short Course • A WORKSHOP FOR LAWYERS ABOUT CAREER DECISION MAKING.

Making Decisions-A
Short Course
• A WORKSHOP FOR LAWYERS ABOUT
CAREER DECISION MAKING
Why Lawyers Get StuckCareer Indecisiveness
• Not all lawyers have made an unequivocal
decision to be or remain lawyers-some
level of doubt is common
• Some lawyers drifted into law almost by
default or accident-”I found myself with a
B.A. and wasn’t sure what to do-so I went
into law-at least I could make a living out
of it”
• Some were unduly influenced by parents
“Be a lawyer- it is easy money and you
can get things done in the world”-what is
often unconscious is “If you end up as a
lawyer it will vindicate the crappy
parenting I feel guilty about”
Why lawyers Get Stuck
• Some lawyers went into law with no
realistic idea of what it is like-they had
never set foot in a law office and their
only knowledge of law comes from TV or
the movies
• Even those who did have somewhat of an
idea of the reality of it are taken aback
when they actually have to do it-law
school really gives no idea of what real
practice is like-or even how to do much
law besides research
• Few lawyers do much serious career
planning (even though they did
meticulous academic planning) in terms of
matching aptitude and skills and
temperament to what is needed in law
Why Lawyers Get stuck
• A substantial percentage of Lawyers
actually don’t do much career planning
until they have been practicing for a few
years-by then they can be unhappy or
dissatisfied
• Most Lawyers take the first articling job
they are offered and will stay on, if asked,
even if the situation is clearly unsuitable
for them-imagine if you picked your
spouse this way-you would be married to
the first person who asked you out!!
• There are several big decisions lawyers
need to make-what culture will I do best
in and what area of law is best suited for
me?
What Beliefs Cause
Indecisiveness?
• “Waiting for something to come
up”-this is a passive approachnothing will come up-you must be
proactive
• “Looking for the perfect option”perfectionism is a neurosis not a
desirable belief-it will result in
endless procrastination
• “Fear of change-this will look bad
on my resume” change is normal
and necessary in a legal career
especially in the first few years
What Beliefs Cause
Indecisiveness?
• “Living in potential”-having a number of options
but not following up on any of them
• “Hoping it will get better over time”-frustration,
disappointment and anger is the universe telling you
a change is needed-getting used to suffering is not
helpful
• “Hoping for a blinding flash of inspiration”-this
happens in movies not real life-you will find out buy
doing some inner work and taking action
• “Over thinking the Situation”-many lawyers think
that if they think about it enough an answer will
appear -you need to act your way into a new way
of thinking not think your way into a new way of
acting
• The best way to learn about a new career or
practicing a different type of law is to talk to people
already doing it
“Too bad to stay but too
good to leave”
• If you are in this situation a real
decision has to be made-not a
pseudo decision
• Many people have a hard time
making decisions
• Obsessing and ruminating are 1symptoms of poor decision
making ability 2-trying to think
your way out of the situation 3ways of avoiding fear and risk 4looking for the perfect decision 5hoping to avoid consequences of
your decision
Lore Approach
“Pathfinder”
• In this approach you examine what factors influence
your decisions now
• Most decisions are based on habit and being on
automatic pilot-i.e. what route you take to work in
the morning
• Exercise; bring to mind 3 recent decisions and
determine which of the following factors you used
• Logic and Analysis -this is based on thought aloneadd up the pros and cons, assign a value to them and
poof you’re done-problem is you aren't actually
making the decision your rules are
• Feelings and passions -this is the other side: relying
solely on feelings-the problem is feelings are like
weather –they come and go
Lore Approach
• Romantic yearnings -this is
falling in love with a story you
have about another person or a
career, rather than reality
• Resonance -this is gut instinct or
intuition-this, without considering
other factors, can result in poor
decisions
• External sources -this relying on
others to make important
decisions-mom may be happy you
are a lawyer but she never sees the
downside
Lore Approach
• Reaction and Rebellion -doing the
opposite of whatever you don’t like about
what you are doing now-this also includes
compliance- which is just the flip side of
rebellion. Both are handing over your
power to others
• Random -going with the flow involves an
abdication of decision making-fine for a
weekend but causes problems if it is about
your career (lawyers do this surprisingly
often-taking the first articling job they are
offered or staying on somewhere just to
avoid a job search)
Lore Approach
• Shoulds-this about being a slave to bias
and judgments “I must work at a big tier
one law firm or I am a failure”
• Practicing Free Choice: “To select freely
without being ruled by conditioned
thinking” or “to select freely, after
thoughtful deliberation”
• Step 1 -Notice how you make decisions
now-what factors influence you the
most?-How well does this work?-Did you
make the decision or the method it self?
Lore Approach
• Step 2 –Learn all you can about
the matter in question-use the
previously discussed methods to
your advantage-as allies to your
decision making process
• A) Logic and Analysis -fully
inform yourself using all
appropriate research
• B) Feelings, Inclinations,
Preferences: Use these to add to
the information mix
Lore Approach
• C) Romantic yearnings: Pay
attention to passions, they are
often important clues. Don't be a
slave to them –just because you
love dogs doesn’t mean you
should be a veterinarian
• D) Resonance: Pay attention to
“vibes” this is important in
picking law firm culture-even
sitting in a waiting room of some
law firms you pick up its energy
• E) External sources:
Informational interviews or expert
opinions-talk to the LAP!!
Lore Approach
• F) Reaction, Rebellion,
Compliance -can be useful toolspeople are often very clear about
what they don’t want-is your
compliance need keeping you
stuck?
• G) Random: Serendipity can be
useful-sometimes “accidents” are
not accidents at all
• H)Shoulds and Yeahbuts -are
very useful in estimating what
could go wrong-Murphy's Law is
useful at times
Make a Choice
• Step 3- Make a choice-after
taking the above into
consideration-not relying on any
factor in particular
• It is as simple as that-you have
done all you can and must now
decide-delaying the decision
further (deciding not to decide)
will not result in a better decision
Troubleshooting
• Difficulty in Deciding
• 1)You haven’t gathered all the
information you need-maybe you need to
do more informational interviews
• 2)You are deciding not to decide-not
always a bad thing-sometimes you do
need to delay making a decision
• 3)you are trying to keep all options openthis usually results in chronic
procrastination-you must give up the path
not chosen-you have limited time, money
and energy-you cannot and will not be
able to do every thing you want-I call this
“living in potential”
Troubleshooting
• How do I know if I am making
the right decision?-the first thing
to realize is there is no right
decision-just the best decision you
could have made under the
circumstances. In job changes
every move is simply an
experiment based on the best
information available at the time
• What if it turns out to be the
wrong decision?-sometimes this
will happen and you learn the
lesson, skip the self beating-then
move on
Rubin Approach
“Overcoming Indecisiveness”
Real Decisions
• Translate thought into decisive
action
• Break through inhibition and
paralysis
• Success is directly proportional
to the willingness to make
decisions
• Chronic procrastination is a result
of abdication of decision-making
Abdication
• Will severely limit
accomplishment in any area of our
lives
• i.e.-indecision about career
change-fear of change vs. value of
change
• Results in a deadening of self
• Parts of ourselves are unavailable
to be felt, reached, or used
Real Decisions
• A free,unconditional,total and
personal commitment to a choice
or option
• Involve logic and feelings
• A full commitment to one road
only
• Enhance self esteem
• Increase self confidence
Pseudodecisions
• Appear to be a decision but are
not
• Paralysis, undermining
commitment and avoiding con
flicting feelings are all forms of
indecision
• Procrastination is often really a
form of indecisiveness
• Ambivalence-”waiting for
something to turn up” or" no
choice is quite right”
Pseudecisions-2
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Impulse Moves
Letting someone else decide
Rebellious Decisions
One foot in - One foot out
Ruminating about the past
Decision Exercise
• Write 3 decisions you have
recently made that feel like “real”
decisions to you
• Write 3 decisions you need to
make, but are having trouble with.
• What do you believe is getting in
the way of making these
decisions?
• Think- Pair -Share
Decision Blockers
1. Losing touch with feelings
2. Resignation-avoiding anxiety
3. Confused or absence of,
priorities
4. Poor self esteem
5. Hopelessness/Depression
6. Unrealistic self image
7. Self Erasing/obsessive need to
be liked
8. Perfectionism-common with
Lawyers
Decision Blockers-2
1. Wanting it all-Malignant belief
that if you make no choice you
will have a chance to have it all
2. Illustration-A 4 year old in a
Toy Store-You can have 1 toy!
3. All decisions involve some form
of payment-i.e.... discarded
choices
Decision Blockers-3
1. Something better will come
along
2. Fear of self hate due to a bad
choice-need to be right
3. Coulda,Woulda,Shouldaberating the self
4. Option Blindness
5. Time pressure distortion
6. Impaired judgment
The Big Fact
• In very few instances is one decision
actually better than another
• The substance of the decision is less
important than the process
• A choice works by reason of the amount
of investment and energy put into it by
decision maker
• The decision maker makes or breaks the
decision according to the strength or
weakness of the commitment and loyalty
to the choice
• Decision failure is really a lack of
dedicated commitment to the choice
Priorities
• The position of life’s issues on our
personal scale of importance
• Tell us about our values
• Being out of touch with our
priorities results in chaotic
decisions
• Some priorities are not fully
conscious
• Honesty with self is critical here
• Priority exercise
Eight Stages of Decision
Making
1.Listing and observing all the
possibilities, options or choices
-not a time for judgment
-perfectionism is dangerous here
2.Sustaining a free flow of feelings
and thoughts about each of the
possible choices
3.Observing thoughts and feelings
about each of the options and
applying those feelings
Eight Stages of Decision
Making-2
4.Relating choices to established
priorities
-i.e. buying a carmoney,ownership,prestige,aestheti
cs,comfort,integrety,peace of
mind etc.
5.Designating one choice;
Discarding those not chosen
-will “feel right”
-tough part is letting go of other
choices
Eight Stages of Decision
Making-3
6.Registering the decision
-dangerous stage for obsessive ruminator
7.Investing the decision with committed
feelings,thoughts,time and energy.
-Must absoposativamalutely let go of
nonchosen options
8.Translating the decision into optimistic
action
-must invest loyalty and optimism about
the decision
Decision Success
• Know your priorities
• Establishing realistic goals and
expectations
• Knowing there is always a price
to pay
• Recognizing major personal assets
• Knowing and exploring your
proclivities
• Getting over fear of rejection and
failure
Decision Success-2
• Leaving- is non involving/Going
to- is involving the self
• Conditions are always imperfect
• Moods make a difference
• Accepting some ambivalence
• Accepting some insecurity and
anxiety
• Interest comes after involvement
• Integrated concentration
Decision Success-3
• Profiting from other peoples
experience and help
• Delegating responsibility
• Effective use of time
• Insight,motivation,discipline
• Postponement of gratification
• Value of struggle