Transcript Overcoming Career Indecisiveness

Overcoming Career
Indecisiveness
• A WORKSHOP FOR LAWYERS ABOUT
CAREER DECISION MAKING
What causes
Indecisiveness?
• “Waiting for something to come
up”-this is a passive approachnothing will come up-you must be
proactive
• “Looking for the perfect option”perfectionism is a neurosis not a
desirable belief-it will result in
endless procrastination
• “Fear of change-this will look bad
on my resume” change is normal
and necessary in a legal career
especially in the first few years
What causes
Indecisiveness?
• “Living in potential”-having a number of options
but not following up on any of them
• “Hoping it will get better over time”-frustration,
disappointment and anger is the universe telling you
a change is needed-getting used to suffering is not
helpful
• “Hoping for a blinding flash of inspiration”-this
happens in movies not real life-you will find out buy
doing some inner work and taking action
• “Over thinking the Situation”-many lawyers think
that if they think about it enough an answer will
appear-you need to act your way into a new way of
thinking not think your way into a new way of
acting
• The best way to learn about a new career or
practicing a different type of law is to talk to people
already doing it
“Too bad to stay but too
good to leave”
• If you are in this situation a real
decision has to be made-not a
pseudo decision
• Many people have a hard time
making decisions
• Obsessing and ruminating are
1.symptoms of poor decision
making ability 2.trying to think
your way out of the situation 3.
ways of avoiding fear and risk 4.
looking for the perfect decision5
hoping to avoid consequences of
your decision
Real Decisions
• Translate thought into decisive
action
• Break through inhibition and
paralysis
• Success is directly proportional to
the willingness to make decisions
• Chronic procrastination is a result
of abdication of decision-making
Abdication
• Will severely limit
accomplishment in any area of our
lives
• i.e.-indecision about career
change-fear of change vs. value of
change
• Results in a deadening of self
• Parts of ourselves are unavailable
to be felt, reached, or used
Real Decisions
• A free,unconditional,total and
personal commitment to a choice
or option
• Involve logic and feelings
• A full commitment to one road
only
• Enhance self esteem
• Increase self confidence
Pseudodecisions
• Appear to be a decision but are
not
• Paralysis, undermining
commitment and avoiding con
flicting feelings are all forms of
indecision
• Procrastination is often really a
form of indecisiveness
• Ambivalence-”waiting for
something to turn up” or" no
choice is quite right”
Pseudecisions-2
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Impulse Moves
Letting someone else decide
Rebellious Decisions
One foot in - One foot out
Ruminating about the past
Decision Exercise
• Write 3 decisions you have
recently made that feel like “real”
decisions to you
• Write 3 decisions you need to
make, but are having trouble with.
• What do you believe is getting in
the way of making these
decisions?
• Think- Pair -Share
Decision Blockers
1. Losing touch with feelings
2. Resignation-avoiding anxiety
3. Confused or absence of,
priorities
4. Poor self esteem
5. Hopelessness/Depression
6. Unrealistic self image
7. Self Erasing/obsessive need to
be liked
8. Perfectionism-common with
Lawyers
Decision Blockers-2
1. Wanting it all-Malignant belief
that if you make no choice you
will have a chance to have it all
2. Illustration-A 4 year old in a
Toy Store-You can have 1 toy!
3. All decisions involve some form
of payment-i.e.... discarded
choices
Decision Blockers-3
1. Something better will come
along
2. Fear of self hate due to a bad
choice-need to be right
3. Coulda,Woulda,Shouldaberating the self
4. Option Blindness
5. Time pressure distortion
6. Impaired judgment
The Big Fact
• In very few instances is one decision
actually better than another
• The substance of the decision is less
important than the process
• A choice works by reason of the amount
of investment and energy put into it by
decision maker
• The decision maker makes or breaks the
decision according to the strength or
weakness of the commitment and loyalty
to the choice
• Decision failure is really a lack of
dedicated commitment to the choice
Priorities
• The position of life’s issues on our
personal scale of importance
• Tell us about our values
• Being out of touch with our
priorities results in chaotic
decisions
• Some priorities are not fully
conscious
• Honesty with self is critical here
• Priority exercise
Eight Stages of Decision
Making
1.Listing and observing all the
possibilities, options or choices
-not a time for judgment
-perfectionism is dangerous here
2.Sustaining a free flow of feelings
and thoughts about each of the
possible choices
3.Observing thoughts and feelings
about each of the options and
applying those feelings
Eight Stages of Decision
Making-2
4.Relating choices to established
priorities
-i.e. buying a carmoney,ownership,prestige,aestheti
cs,comfort,integrety,peace of
mind etc.
5.Designating one choice;
Discarding those not chosen
-will “feel right”
-tough part is letting go of other
choices
Eight Stages of Decision
Making-3
6.Registering the decision
-dangerous stage for obsessive ruminator
7.Investing the decision with committed
feelings,thoughts,time and energy.
-Must absoposativamalutely let go of
nonchosen options
8.Translating the decision into optimistic
action
-must invest loyalty and optimism about
the decision
Decision Success
• Know your priorities
• Establishing realistic goals and
expectations
• Knowing there is always a price
to pay
• Recognizing major personal assets
• Knowing and exploring your
proclivities
• Getting over fear of rejection and
failure
Decision Success-2
• Leaving- is non involving/Going
to- is involving the self
• Conditions are always imperfect
• Moods make a difference
• Accepting some ambivalence
• Accepting some insecurity and
anxiety
• Interest comes after involvement
• Integrated concentration
Decision Success-3
• Profiting from other peoples
experience and help
• Delegating responsibility
• Effective use of time
• Insight,motivation,discipline
• Postponement of gratification
• Value of struggle