Transcript Bigwigs Behaving Badly Understanding and Coping with Notable Misbehavior A Presentation for OAMSS Kendall L. Stewart, M.D. November 12, 2004

Bigwigs
Behaving
Badly
Understanding and Coping with
Notable Misbehavior
A Presentation for OAMSS
Kendall L. Stewart, M.D.
November 12, 2004
Why is this important?
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Bigwigs often behave badly.
Because of their status or power,
bigwigs regularly indulge in
destructive behavior with no
significant adverse consequence.
Temper tantrums are overlooked.
Intimidation is accepted, even
reinforced.
Verbal abuse is tolerated and tyrants
are lionized.
Even physical abuse and destruction
of property are more common than
we would like to admit.
But tolerating and thereby
encouraging such behavior exacts an
awful price.
Disruptive behavior wounds others
and leaves lasting organizational
scars.
• After listening to this
presentation, you will be able to
– Describe three ways in which
bigwigs regularly behave badly
in our organizations
– List three consequences of such
behavior
– Identify three strategies for
minimizing such destructive
behavior
– Explain why those strategies
should be pursued
– Detail how these approaches can
be practically deployed in your
organization
What are some of the consequences?
• Critical processes are disrupted.
• People are afraid to speak up, and
mistakes occur as a direct result.
• Good people become discouraged and
turn into bitter, negative
complainers.
• Impressionable young leaders begin
to adopt this destructive behavior as
a preferred coping strategy.
• People lose faith in their leaders.
• The best people move on to more
nourishing work environments.
What’s a thoughtful leader to do?
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Don’t overreact to background noise.
– People can be too sensitive.
Recognize warning signs and intervene early.*
Limit the damage.
– Move the issue offstage quickly.
Volunteer to be a lightning rod.
– Take the blame promptly.
Welcome harmless venting.
– Actually, venting is never entirely harmless.
Let the emotional dust settle.*
Change the rules of the game.
– Go public with provocateurs’ bad behavior.
Remember that perception is reality.
– Bigwigs do not want to be held accountable for managing perceptions.
Protect your flank.
– Line up (and provide) support beforehand.
Confront the perpetrator directly whenever possible.
– Provide necessary support, but insist that others take a stand.
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What’s a thoughtful leader to do?
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Focus on behavior, not motive.*
Understand but don’t excuse.
– Accept feelings but not bad behavior.
Consider the power differential.
– Powerful people must be held to a higher standard.
Don’t let victims remain victims.
– Insist that they take a stand.
Give bad actors a chance to do the right thing.
– Give them a chance to repair the damage themselves.
Pick the best option and then follow through.
– Take time to consider your options.
Don’t protect wrongdoers from the consequences of their sin.
– A well-healed scar is the best that an adulterer can hope for.
Reinforce improved behavior.
– People can and do change—but not that much.
When the life of the organization is a stake, shoot to kill.
– Don’t wound bears.
Take a look in the mirror.
– It’s always easier to see flaws in others.
Recognize warning signs and intervene
early.
• Why should you?
– Misbehaving bigwigs
almost always take pains
to hide their behavior
from peer and superiors.
– By the time it’s obvious,
irreparable damage may
have been done.
– A failure to confront
encourages additional
misbehavior.
– A good number of bigwigs
simply do not know how
to behave.
• How can you?
– Monitor the grapevine.
– Observe your
subordinate’s
subordinates when in her
presence.
– Most insecure leaders
can’t resist bragging
about their outbursts;
they want their behavior
to be legitimized.
– Seize that opportunity to
model appropriate
confrontation.
– Make your behavioral
expectations clear.
Let the emotional dust settle.
• Why should you?
– Emotional people are not
reasonable.
– Our defense mechanisms are
strongest when we are
aroused.
– Emotional arousal is
contagious.
– A calm leader helps to
prevent collateral emotional
damage.
– Most emotional leaders feel
they have every right to be
upset.
– They believe someone
“made” them upset, or they
believe they cannot help
themselves.
• How can you?
– Monitor your own emotional
arousal.
– Be quiet.
– Let some time pass.
– Focus on remaining a
curious observer instead of
being drawn in as a
participant.
– Accept the legitimacy of the
flawed leader’s frustration
while challenging the
behavior that was a
consequence.
– Ask clarifying questions
instead of disagreeing
directly.
Focus on behavior, not motive.
• Why should you?
– Feeling justified, they
want to talk about
“why” instead of “what.”
– Behavior can be
objectively described.
Motive cannot.
– Most aroused people are
not fully aware of how
they behave—or
perceived.
– Behavior can be
controlled; feelings are
much more difficult to
control.
• How can you?
– Insist on objective
documentation of
observed behavior.
– Document the brutal
truth about the offending
bigwig’s behavior.
– Refused to be sidetracked
during discussions about
behavior.
– Stop rewarding
misbehavior.
What have you learned?
• Bigwigs frequently behave badly, and it is a problem.
• If you are such a bigwig, stop it. If you don’t know how
to or can’t stop, get professional help now.
• If you are an organizational leader, you have an
obligation to stand up to the bullies in the work
environment.
• Now that you know some practical strategies for
dealing with difficult bigwigs, make up your mind to
take a more effective approach.
• If you persist in your determination to attach adverse
consequences to bad behavior, such behavior will
diminish over time, and the organizational
environment will improve.
Where can you learn more?
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Stewart, Kendall L., et. al. A Portable Mentor for
Organizational Leaders, SOMCPress, 2003 (This
book can be ordered from www.Amazon.com)
Stewart, Kendall L., “Physician Traps: Some
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July 24, 2002
Stewart, Kendall L. et. al, “On Being Successful
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SOMCPress, January 2001
Stewart, Kendall L., “Bigwigs Behaving Badly:
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SOMCPress, March 11, 2002 (For a limited time,
this White Paper can be downloaded from
http://www.somc.org/NRSOMCPress/WhitePapers
.htm.)
Stewart, Kendall L., “Relationships: Building and
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Practical Ways to Avoid Becoming a Miserable
Doctor” A SOMCPress White Paper, SOMCPress,
at SOMC: Some Practical Guidelines for New
Physicians” A SOMCPress White Paper,
Understanding and Coping with Notable
Misbehavior” A SOMCPress White Paper,
Sustaining the Interpersonal Foundations of
Organizational Success” A SOMCPress White
Paper, SOMCPress, March 11, 2002
How can we contact you?
Kendall L. Stewart, M.D.
Medical Director
Southern Ohio Medical Center
President & CEO
The SOMC Medical Care Foundation, Inc.
1805 27th Street
Portsmouth, Ohio 45662
740.356.8153
[email protected]
[email protected]
www.somc.org
www.KendallLStewartMD.com
What questions do you have?
www.somc.org
Southern Ohio Medical Center
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