Transcript Burns Book Group Introduction Lawyers Assistance Program Facilitated by Robert Bircher Burns Group • This group is for Lawyers that want to improve their mood • We meet.

Burns Book Group
Introduction
Lawyers Assistance
Program
Facilitated by Robert
Bircher
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Burns Group
• This group is for Lawyers that
want to improve their mood
• We meet 3 times a month and use
“The Feeling Good Handbook” as
our guide
• It is based on Cognitive
Behavioral Therapy (CBT) which
is one of the most effective talking
forms of therapy
• Basically it is about changing the
way you think which will change
the way you feel
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Burns Group
• The group involves some
homework, about 1hour a week
• A good thing to compare it to is
physical fitness, which takes time
and effort but really pays off
• We are changing the way we
think or process information, we
are trying to edit out distorted
thinking
• You will be surprised at how
much of what you think is actually
quite inaccurate
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Burns Group
• We are talking about the kind of
thinking that causes suffering :
• “I made a mistake in a document,
I am so dumb, I can’t believe I did
that” or “ I owe so much money
that I will never get out of debt, I
might end up as a bag lady” or
“My girlfriend now just wants to
be “friends”, I will never have a
good relationship, I am such a
loser”
• This type of thinking causes pain
and tends to be negative,
repetitive and useless
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Burns Group
• Most people are unaware that
their thinking is conditioned and
habitual just like many other
behaviors
• People also believe that
something outside of themselves
must change before they can be
happy i.e. my job, my partner, my
finances etc.
• CBT is based on the premise that
“nothing is either good or bad but
thinking makes it so”
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Burns Group
• The task then is to change or at
least have a measure of control of
our thinking process rather than
have it on auto pilot
• This is the essence of what we do
in the Burns group
• This requires a change in our
conditioned thinking processes
which is not easy since almost
everyone cherishes their own
thinking
• What most people call the “truth”
is really just a firmly held opinion
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Burns Group
• What you will find is that many of
your most cherished opinions are
highly distorted and are
inconsistent with an accurate
analysis
• We will learn to separate
identification with “what is” from
your “story of what is”
• Most people suffer because they
try and deal with their “story of
what is” rather than just dealing
with what is
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Burns Group
• “I don’t have a job” is what is. “I
am a loser, my marks or work
history is terrible, I am going to
have to take a crappy job etc.” are
stories we may tell ourselves.
• These stories result in feelings of
sadness,fear,depression or
worthlessness which are not
useful, they are mind
manufactured problems not real
ones
• Most suffering and depression
comes from our reaction to our
own stories-not reality itself8
Burns Group
• In this group we look at how our own
interpretations of reality cause problems
• Because we are changing habits of
thinking it requires effort; just like
changing any other habit
• What works is to read the book-do the
exercises-come to the group-put into
effect in your life what you have learned
• The group is a more powerful tool than
working alone since you have the benefit
of many experiences
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Burns Group
• We will measure our moods
regularly in an objective manner
• We will take your life events and
look at various ways of
interpreting them
• A fable: I was hiking around
Kelowna when I realized that I
was about to step on a huge
rattlesnake, I thought that “there is
no one around for miles and this
will be a slow painful death”, my
heart was pounding with fear
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Burns Group
• I then looked down and my eyes
began to focus and I then realized
it was just a rope! I began to laugh
and felt great joy because I knew I
was safe and would never be
frightened of it again. I felt
gratitude and ease. The rest of
the world could come across this
snake and scream, run away, have
heart attacks, scare themselves to
death-and I could be calm and
fearless because I knew the snake
is just a rope
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Burns Group
• The payoff for your effort will be the
realization that almost all of what bothers
you is “only a rope” not the snake your
mind says it is
• Most of your “problems” are False
Evidence Appearing Real
• When people get this at a deep level their
depression and anxiety go down
dramatically-(I do not mean an intellectual
level of understanding which is only
superficial and won’t make much
difference in your life)
• To make this shift takes many months and
some Lawyers repeat this group more than
once-many will notice a difference within
a few weeks
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Self Disclosure
• Group process involves talking to
others about yourself-some people
who have done groups(12 step,
Haven, Landmark, Excellence
Series etc.) will have no problem
with this. They have let go of the
“the ideal story of me”
• People who have not done groups
will be thinking “do I have to spill
my guts?” or will be fearful that
they will be forced to reveal
embarrassing things about
themselves
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Self Disclosure
• Boundaries-you will never be
asked to disclose anything you
don’t want to –you don’t have to
do any exercise-there is never any
pressure
• Most people want to feel safe
around others before they talk
about deeply personal issues-we
want you to set your own
boundaries about how little or
how much you reveal
• Generally most people, over time
will gradually feel safe and be
more willing to trust others 14
Intimacy and Group
Process
• You don’t have to reveal anything but be
aware that acknowledgement and
revelation of self is intimacy
• People feel closer to others when there is
genuine intimacy-hiding out is ok but will
create distance
• Revelation of yourself usually creates
closeness-it does not mean people will run
out of the room screaming “who is this
lunatic?”
• Almost always great friendships are made
in this group- generally the more you are
willing to reveal the closer people will
feel to you-this is also true in life!
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Group Ground Rules and
Boundaries
• Ground rules vary from group to
group but some are required
• 1.Confidentiality-What is said
here stays here, this extends to
who is here, people cannot be
mentioned or identified (a bald
guy who works at the LAP) in any
way. The nature of these groups
requires this.
• 2.Attendance-What works is to
show up as much as you can,
make your happiness priority one
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Ground Rules and
Boundaries
• 3.Do your homework-You can’t
contribute if you haven’t done the
work-reading and doing the
exercises really works-you can’t
do this type of work in your head
• This is part one of a series, we
will have about 10 sessions on the
general idea of CBT then examine
specific issues like
procrastination, relationships and
self esteem-this will take about a
year-it is like a mental health
fitness program-it takes time and
effort and gets great results
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