Transcript Relationships – Marriage, Grandparenthood and Family Caregiving  Lecture 13 – PS277 Marriage and Partnerships in Late Life   Marital satisfaction over life course Predicting low satisfaction.

Relationships – Marriage,
Grandparenthood and Family
Caregiving
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Lecture 13 – PS277
Marriage and Partnerships in Late Life
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Marital satisfaction over life course
Predicting low satisfaction and
divorce – Gottman’s work
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Late life marriages
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Widowhood, remarriage and gender
Marital Satisfaction Over Life Course
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Role of kids (vs. childfree couples)
Individual differences
in parenthood
transiiton – Cowans
General pattern is less
steep if account for
these variations
Factors Predicting Marital
Dissatisfaction and Divorce
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Gottman’s research on couple
discussions and affect
Predicting 80-90% of divorces from
short observations of newlyweds’
discussions
Gender differences very important
in these patterns
Gender Differences in Couple
Discussions of Problems
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Who expresses more emotions in
these problem discussions?
Who gets the most upset
physiologically?
Who is the most likely to avoid or
try to escape discussions?
What Patterns Predict to Later Divorce
in Younger Couples?
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What patterns predict biggest
subsequent problems?
Negative start-up in wives
Stonewalling and stubbornness in
husbands
Reciprocation of negatives in wives
No de-escalation of arousal for men
with use of positives, humour
How Do Older Couples’ Marriages
Differ from Middle-Aged (Levinson et
al., 1993)?
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What predict based on life course curve for midlife
vs. older couples’ satisfaction?
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Increased pleasure for: children/grandchildren,
dreams, vacations, things done recently
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Decreased conflict for: children, money,
religion, recreation
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Middle-aged couples showed more differences
between spouses on pleasure in dreams,
accomplishments, plans for future, past good
times – older adults showed no differences on any
topic
Patterns of Emotional Expression in Older
Couples (Carstensen et al., 1995)
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Socioemotional selectivity theory – older adults
motivated to seek more positive emotional
experiences, minimize negative
Consistent with this, older adults in study of
problem discussions expressed more affection, less
disgust and whining, even controlling for problem
severity – these factors predict problems in younger
couples
For unhappy couples only, negative start-up
sequences were lower for older adults…they seemed
to be better at avoiding getting into hassles
Wives express more emotion than husbands, both
positive and negative, in older couples like younger
Gender Differences in Widowhood and
Remarriage
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50% or more of women over 65 are widows, only
16% of men
Men are more likely to remarry than women,
especially in later life, also have shorter life
spans, so less likely widowed
Widowhood is harder on men than women as a
status in many ways – Marriage may be a better
deal for men than for women psychologically!
However, financial situation of widowed or
divorced women is often more problematic – get
only part of husband’s pensions, etc.
Marital Status of Old and Oldest-Old in
Canada
The Darwins
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Darwin died at Down in 1882, at age 73,
of heart failure
Emma lived on for 14 more years as a
widow, dying in 1896. She moved to stay
closer to family, lived with unmarried
daughters
Emma’s diary records her pleasure in
children and grandchildren, and her many
positive memories of times spent with
Charles
Outline
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Grandparenting styles of interaction
Grandparent stories and
generativity
Caregiving to elderly in later life
family
Research on Grandparenting Styles
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Neugarten & Weinstein (1964):
early studies that suggested several
distinct styles of grandparenthood
in relating to grandchild
Mueller, Wilhelm, Elder (2002): 5
different styles found in their study
of rural US families
Mueller et al.(2002) Grandparenting
Types
Factors Predicting Group Differences in
Mueller et al. Study
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Maternal vs. paternal side
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Number of grandchildren
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Parental encouragement
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Proximity
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Child and grandparent gender?
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Grandparent personality??
Special Grandparent Roles – Caretaking and
Co-Residing Grandparents and Their Effects
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In many cultures, grandparents live with and care for
younger grandchildren – this may be more common in
aboriginal groups in Canada too
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In North America, lower income and ethnic families
more likely to have three-generational households overall
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Caretaking by grandparents more common with parent
stressors, such as divorce, poverty
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Pittman (2007) found co-residing grandmothers were
associated with somewhat lower levels of depression in
adolescents, and single mothers often do better with
grandmothers’ support
Important Functions of Grandparents in
Storytelling (Norris et al., 2004)
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Establishing close bonds
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Conveying family and personal history
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Teaching values
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Fostering generativity in family
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Conveying a model of aging
What about Children’s Stories about
Grandparents?
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Think about something important
that you learned from a
grandparent. What would you say?
Example Story of Grandparent
Teaching a Value by an Adolescent
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Susan, Age 15: (Kind and caring) “My
grandparents, they've always lived on a farm,
they've always had horses and ever since I was very
young, my grandfather taught me how to ride…
Like he found something that I was interested in and
that he was interested in and we did it together, and
it was a grandfather-granddaughter thing you
know, and that's something that I really do respect
him for, because there would be times when we
were like cleaning the horses and he‘d say, “you
know, I really appreciate our time together” and
stuff like that. He found that thing that was
something I enjoyed and it was almost like he
wanted to share in my life. Like there's some of
those grandparents who you never see them, like
once a year maybe and they load a whole bunch of
presents on your lap and then say goodbye, know
what I mean? [Umhum.] I want to build a
relationship with my grandkids like he did I
think.”
Generativity in Relation to the
Grandparent Role in Socialization
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Grandparenting = a range of “styles” that are
more or less engaged or distant from the role of
child socialization in the family as in Mueller et al.
Parents don’t have the luxury of such choice – they
have to discipline the child!
Generativity may be one predictor of how, and
how much, the grandparenting role is
“inhabited” by older adults, and in turn, the kinds
of stories this role engenders in the family
Grandparents’ Stories about Their Own
Grandchildren (Norris et al., 2004)
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78 grandparents of 8 year-olds
participated, part of a larger project
Wrote stories of a time when they
taught their grandchild + a time
when proud of grandchild
Completed the standard LGS of
McAdams
Examples of Specific Grandparent Story
Memories by Generative Adults
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Proud Story: “Last Christmas, Billy got a toy at
the dinner table. His younger cousin did not like the
toy he got and began to cry. Billy quickly offered to
trade toys with Andy. I feel Billy is very sensitive,
and I’m proud of him as a person.”
Teaching Story: “One day, my husband and I
were at the park with Sandy. We ran into a group of
kids who were picking on one little boy, calling him
names. You could see the hurt in his eyes. When
Sandy asked, we explained to her that it does not
matter about where people come from, or the color
of their skin. Everyone is the same.”
Examples of No Story Responses or
“Non-Specific” Grandparent Stories
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Proud Story: “My granddaughter is too
young to have done much.”
Proud Story: “I’m always proud of my
grandson.”
Teaching Story: “Let’s face it. I have
lots of grandchildren and I love them all,
but when we babysit them we know that
they’re going back to their parents, so it’s
not the same as your own kids. So most
situations I leave it up to the parents. I
guess you could call it chickening out…haha.”
Percentage of Grandparent Stories Scored
as Specific Memories by Generativity Level
and Story Type
90
80
70
60
50
40
30
20
10
0
Hi Gen
Lo Gen
Teaching
Story
Proud
Story
p’s of differences < .05
Generative Grandparents as More
Engaged?
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Generative grandparents recalled more and
more specific memories of grandchild, perhaps
because they are more attentive to grandchild’s
socialization and development than others
There were some gender differences in content
between grandmothers and grandfathers (social
skills vs. hockey), but no gender differences in
memory specificity in this study
Generativity is important in predicting variations
in family stories in this older adulthood role
Midlife Adults and the Sandwich
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Midlife adults now more likely to have children and
grandchildren to care for, along with an elderly parent
who needs help as well
Women much higher on this adult caregiving role overall
Clear progression over time in how much care is needed
as older adult’s health declines – need longitudinal
studies to examine this and caregiver’s reactions over
time
Lawton et al. (2000) reported that women seemed to
adapt to the caregiver role fairly well over time when
studied this longitudinally for 1-2 years – however, “wear
and tear” theory of declines in mental health might show
up over longer periods of time
Personal Experiences with Family
Caregiving
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My mother’s Alzheimer’s progressed slowly after 75,
but more problems with physical care, memory,
thinking, etc.
My role was mostly to support my father for quite a
while
He did much of the care on a day-to-day basis, pretty
common in long-term marriages, but can be very
stressful – I didn’t realize how much for a while
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My father’s health began to fail and then I needed to
spend a good deal more time visiting, helping out, etc.
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Not always easy to find best care arrangements
What Consequences of Such Caretaking for
Adult Children (Stephens & Franks, 1999)?
What Factors Influence How Midlife
Adults Experience the Caregiver Role?
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Attachment – Cicirelli’s (1983) research on relationship
security and later caretaking:
Security of attachment a stronger predictor of experience
of caregiving than sense of obligation to care for elderly
parent
Generativity – Peterson’s research on women in early
50’s – generativity of adult women measured in 40’s
More generative women felt less “subjective burden”
about caregiving (e.g., “I feel I don’t do enough for my
parent,” “It is painful to watch my parent age”), no
differences on objective burden (e.g., “having enough
time for myself”)
More generative women were more knowledgeable
about community resources for aging parents as well