Transcript How I Got Into Harvard… A witty little anecdote that you may find interesting…

How I Got Into Harvard…
A witty little anecdote that you may find interesting…
How I Got Into Harvard…
I am a pioneering, energetic individual, often seen
leaping over medium sized potholes in a single
bound. I have been known, during my lunch hour, to
re-write the works of Shakespeare, Dickens &
Twain, making these literary masterpieces read
better in the areas of eloquence and vigor.
I decipher hieroglyphics for the blind and translate
Klingon for the deaf, I compose award- winning
staccatos for the pretentious, suffice to say - I
manage time efficiently.
How I Got Into Harvard…
I can trace my lineage back beyond Charlemagne and
reached self-actualization before I could walk.
Occasionally I attempt walking on water and parting
the sea with just a glare - a kind of divine intervention I
mastered at a yoga class…
Sometimes I wake in the middle of the night accusing
sloths of being lazy and mules of being stubborn, you
know, the sort of general malaise that only the genius
possess and the insane lament.
How I Got Into Harvard…
In my spare time, I woo women with my sensuous prose,
and rescue damsels in distress… I can even navigate old
ladies across busy intersections (with a minimum of
fatalities)
And
I bake Thirty-Minute Muffins in Twenty minutes flat.
I am what Mozart is to Composition, what Einstein is to
Physics - an expert with ‘Most Art’ and a ‘Relative’ of
Quantum Mechanics.
How I Got Into Harvard…
I have been dubbed an outlaw in France and have
circled the Bermuda Triangle – Twice! Just to make
sure it was still there.
I once single-handedly defended a small village in the
Philippines from a marauding swarm of Jelly-fish,
using only a pitch fork and a bottle of soy sauce.
I play chess blind-folded on Xmas & Bank holidays –
something to pass the time
How I Got Into Harvard…
I once finished a bowl of soup before a starving,
homeless person with only a pair of chopsticks and one
hand tied behind my back.
I was scouted by the New York Giants, and accepted by
the Yankees.
I sent the YALE a rejection letter – needless to say, they
were hurt.
My thoughts on Quantum Physics are Tweeted the world
‘round.
Facebook & Instagram mere dinosaurs in my theory of
de-evolution
How I Got Into Harvard…
I am a modern-day purist, an old-fashioned
gentleman at heart, a savvy analyst, and a ruthless
violinist.
Fashionistas worldwide pay homage to my original
line of ‘socks and sandals’ winter-wear.
I am a private person, yet I have 254 723 Likes – and
counting.
How I Got Into Harvard…
When I'm bored, I design space stations in my
backyard, often using equations with point
decimals to the power the speed of sound.
I enjoy rock climbing by moonlight and playing the
piano in the dark.
I spent a year in silence… just to better understand
the sound of a whis’per.
How I Got Into Harvard…
I have been on Deal or No Deal and made the ‘Banker’
an offer he couldn’t refuse;
I challenged the Egg-heads, but they declined – hurling
profanities, like “genius”, “mastermind” and “oh so
sublime”
I have my doubts about the question mark ???
I argued Darwin to prophets, gesticulated to a mime,
have pondered the heavens and have travelled back in
time
How I Got Into Harvard…
I can quote extracts from the Holy Scriptures, the Bible
and Quran - in Swahili mind you
My deftly dexterous paper sculpturing arrangements
have earned me international acclaim in
origami circles.
Parents trust me, children look up to me. I can launch
spit balls at small moving objects with amazing
accuracy.
How I Got Into Harvard…
Parents trust me, children look up to me. I can launch
spit balls at small moving objects with amazing accuracy.
I once read the complete works of Dante, Michelangelo
and Galileo in a single afternoon and still had time to
prepare a gourmet meal that evening.
I know the dewy decimal code of every book in the
library.
I sleep once a fortnight; when I do sleep; it’s with one
eye open and only to better understand depth’s
perception.
How I Got Into Harvard…
While vacationing in Tortuga, I successfully negotiated
with an unsavory group of hoodlums, the safe release
of a hot-dog stand, along with its owner.
On weekends, I let off steam by indulging in
full-contact crocheting.
Years ago I discovered the meaning of life, but alas,
forgot to write it down.
How I Got Into Harvard…
I have bathe with dolphins in Haiti, had tea with the
Queen, sang sonnets with blue jays and sought serenity
with Tibetan monks
I have conquered the Himalayas and circumnavigated
the globe. I have travelled back and forth in time and
perfected the aging of wine…
But I have not yet been to Harvard.
Thank You
Kind Regards
Nishlan Pillay
Email: [email protected]
Linkedin: uk.linkedin.com/in/nishlanpillay
How I Got Into Harvard…