Transcript Men and Women in Conversation presented by: Monica Thorpe and Cassie Fredendall 2 May 2007 Objectives  To determine the different roles that men and women.

Men and Women in Conversation
presented by:
Monica Thorpe and Cassie Fredendall
2 May 2007
Objectives
 To determine the different roles that men and
women play in conversation
 To examine the reasons why they play those roles
 To see if what we are reading connects with the
opinions of people we interviewed
A Look Back . . .
A woman’s tongue wags like a lamb’s tail. (English proverb)
The North Sea will sooner be found wanting in water than a woman at a
loss for a word. (Jutland's proverb)
“The vocabulary of a woman as a rule is much less extensive than that of
a man.” (Jespersen, 1922)
A whistling sailor, a crowing hen and a swearing woman ought all three to
go to hell together. (American proverb)
Many women, many words; many geese, many turds. (English proverb)
“One tongue (language) is sufficient for a woman.” (Milton)
Silence is the best ornament for a woman. (English proverb)
Questions
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In one-on-one conversations between men and women, who talks more? Why
do you think this?
In social groups with both men and women present, who talks more? Why do
you think this?
What kind of role does each sex play in a one-on-one conversation (who talks,
who listens, who questions, who lectures)?
How can you tell if the opposite sex is listening to you?
How often do you feel the opposite sex listens to you? How often do you feel
the same sex listens to you?
In one-on-one conversations between men and women who interrupts more?
Do men and women view conversation differently? What is the purpose of
conversation for each sex?
Would you rather tell your problems to a man or a woman? How would you
expect each sex to react?
Vocabulary
 Sociolinguistics: the study of language in its social
context
 Stylistic Variation: in different social contexts an
individual will speak in different ways
 Social Variation: speakers who differ from each other
in terms of age, sex, social class, and ethnic group will
also differ from each other in speech, even in the same
social context
 Vernacular: speech used spontaneously among people
who know each other well
Women as a Social Group
Accept (Inferior Status)
 Intra-group comparison: women compare themselves
with other women in order to achieve a positive selfimage, areas of comparison may include things such as
cooking, sewing, child-care, and personal appearance
 Tokenism: join superior group, a women will attempt
individually to leave the women’s group and become
accepted by men, a woman who operates successfully in
the men’s world and for all purposes becomes a man,
this may occur in business circles and politics
Reject (inferior status)
 Assimilation: women assimilate into the dominant
group, may use deeper voices, swear and use taboo
language, adopt a more aggressive style, etc.
 Redefining negative characteristics: women change
negative images into positive ones, stress the value of
stereotyped female qualities (gentleness, caring, etc) and
point out that male qualities (assertiveness, aggression,
etc) are not always socially useful
 Create new dimensions for comparison: women
groups with no clear leaders, do not follow male norms
The Differences: Body Language
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Men
Take up more physical space
when sitting or standing, with
arms and legs stretched out
away from their body
Gesture away from the body
Assume more reclined
positions when sitting and
lean backward when listening
Approach women more
closely in terms of their
personal space
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Women
Take up less physical space,
sitting with arms and legs
toward their body
Gesture toward the body
Assume more forward
positions when sitting and
lean forward when listening
Do not approach men as
closely in terms of their
personal space
The Differences: Facial Expressions
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Men
Tend to cock their head to
one side and look at the
other person from an angle
when listening
Provide fewer facial
expressions in feedback and
fewer reactions
Display frowning and
squinting when listening
Stare more in negative
interaction
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Women
Tend to look at the other
person directly facing them
with their head and eyes
facing forward when listening
Provide more facial
expressions and more
reactions
Display smiling and head
nodding when listening
Lower their eyes more to
avert gaze in negative
interaction
The Differences: Speech Patterns
Men
Women
 Speak in a louder voice
 Use loudness to emphasize points
 Sound more monotonous in
speech; use approximately 3 tones
when talking
 Interrupt others more and allow
fewer interruptions
 Disclose less personal information
about themselves
 Make direct accusations (“You
don’t call.”)
 Speak in a softer voice
 Use pitch and inflection to
emphasize points
 Sound more emotional in speech;
use approximately 5 tones when
talking
 Interrupt others less and allow
more interruptions
 Disclose more personal
information about themselves
 Make more indirect statements; use
why, which sounds like nagging
(“Why don’t you ever call?”)
The Differences: Speech Patterns, cont.
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Men
Make more direct statements
Use less intensifiers
Make more declarative
statements
Use more interjections when
changing topics
Ask fewer questions to
stimulate conversation
Rarely discuss their personal
life in business
Swear more
Excerpted from the book
He Says, She Says: Closing the Communication Gap Between the Sexes
by Dr. Lillian Glass. Putnam, 1992.
Women
 Make more indirect statements
 Use more intensifiers, such as few,
so, really, much, quite
 Make more tentative statements
and use “tag endings” or upward
inflections which make statements
sound like questions
 Use more conjunctions when
changing topics
 Ask more questions to stimulate
conversations
 Establish more business
relationships by discussing their
personal life
 Swear less than men
Why we talk . . .
“For most women, the language of conversation is
primarily a language of rapport: a way of establishing
connections and negotiating relationships. Emphasis is
placed on displaying similarities and matching
experiences.”
“For most men, talk is primarily a means to preserve
independence and negotiate and maintain status in a
hierarchical social order. This is done by exhibiting
knowledge and skill, and by holding center stage through
verbal performance such as storytelling, joking or imparting
information.”
Tannen, You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation, 77.
Hope for the future
“What is the hope for the future? Must we play out
our assigned parts to the closing act? Although we
tend to fall back on habitual ways of talking,
repeating old refrains and familiar lines, habits can
be broken. Women and men both gain by
understanding the other gender’s style, and by
learning to use it on occasion.”
-Deborah Tannen
Bibliography
Clark, Virginia P., Escholz, Paul A., and Rosa, Alfred F.
Language: Readings in Language and Culture. Boston:
Bedford/St. Martin’s Press, 1998.
Coates, Jennifer. Women, Men and Language. New York:
Longman, 1986.
Glass, Lillian. He Says, She Says: Closing the Communication
Gap Between the Sexes. New York: Perigee Books, 1993.
Tannen, Deborah. You Just Don’t Understand: Women and
Men in Conversation. New York: Ballantine Books, 1990.
Tannen, Deborah. Gender and Discourse. New York:
Oxford University Press, 1994.